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Author Topic: I'm horny  (Read 2155 times)

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Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
I'm horny
« on: March 10, 2007, 11:32:44 AM »
Catchy title, uh ?  ;D

Damnit i'm so freaking horny I think i've watched every porn there is in the world during the last week and i'm still horny, my penis is gonna fall by massaging it so much. I'd rather calm down with someone but i haven't had any sexual relation since I tested poz. I know bjs are fine, and I would disclose my status anyway, but more scares me, i'm not ready for this yet, psychologically speaking I feel i'm afraid of touching anyone anyway.. i've had offers but i can't even think about kissing someone yet.

I'm sure i'm not the only one that has had this feeling, how did you cope with it?
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: I'm horny
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2007, 12:48:46 PM »
go for the kissing, at least! Then go home and 'massage ' it~

Slowly you'll work your way 'up' to more.
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline ndrew

  • Member
  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: I'm horny
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2007, 01:22:06 PM »
Yeah, I have done the "make-out and retreat" play and worn holes in my little buddy 2...  ah, I hearn yer pain!

Drew

Offline Bucko

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  • Posts: 1,947
  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Re: I'm horny
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2007, 02:24:18 PM »
Milkie-

It's no surprise that your libido and your stress levels are intermixed. Sometimes mine work together and many times they don't.

May I suggest that you try on-line hook-ups? Any anxiety you feel over disclosure can be handled safely and anonymously. It also helps to pre-qualify potential beaux in other matters such as role preferences and activity limits. I've become increasingly turned off by the bar scene. There's too much booze and way too much interviewing to suit my taste now.

But I do urge you to rekindle your desire for intimacy, casual or otherwise. We stifle our most basic instinct at our own risk.

Brent
(Who enjoys all manner of physicality)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline Ihavehope

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: I'm horny
« Reply #4 on: March 10, 2007, 04:57:47 PM »
Hi Milk

i think you and I are in the same position but I actually crave the making out more than the sex itself but i am not ready yet to be sexual beast I am. For me, I dunno when I will be ready, i know it won't be any day soon. I felt sleezy shopping for porn on 42nd st 2 weeks ago but whatever. Anywayz, u is not alone.

Al
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
Re: I'm horny
« Reply #5 on: March 10, 2007, 05:35:11 PM »
Hi Milk,
Maybe this is common for those who are fairly newly diagnosed.  I've been the same way.  I've had several negative people interested in dating even and I can't bring myself to do that.  Maybe it is a fear of myself or a fear of them ultimately not being able to handle it even though they are aware of my status up front.  I think I have to become more comfortable with myself and my status first.  I've even tried the anonymous hookups and couldn't even go for that yet.  Anyone have any solutions or ideas?
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: I'm horny
« Reply #6 on: March 10, 2007, 05:53:22 PM »
Well, well, look who the cat drug in..so to speak...lol...Blixer. How are you?  Oh...sorry...horny? 
I wish there was but there are no easy answers to the problem of getting comfortable with being HIV positive and feeliing comfortable enough with it to be sexual again. For me, I chose the only way I knew was easier....I "married" another HIV positive person.  I too have never felt comfortable enough to date Neggies. Pozzies were plentiful and willing. I guess like so many other things with HIV, it takes some work to get yourself ready to date again.
« Last Edit: March 11, 2007, 03:03:00 PM by bear60 »
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
Re: I'm horny
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2007, 06:23:38 PM »
Hey Bear... thanks!!!  And I've just been quite for a while... I've been lurking around...  Actually I said yes a few too many times to some extra teaching assignments and that has kept me pretty snowed under since January... but have a 3 week break inbetween the start of the final two....   I should learn to just stick with my day job.  Of course, I think maybe I fill my life so full of other stuff just so I don't have time to think about the topic of this thread or dating.  Hummmm.....
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: I'm horny
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2007, 06:44:02 PM »
I'm sure i'm not the only one that has had this feeling, how did you cope with it?

Actually, I handled it by getting some dick!  Of course, my hubby is POZ® too, so that certainly made it easier.  We've met a few POZ® guys and played around with them some.  It's honestly helped me accept this by being intimate with a person a similar situation. Personally, I don't think my HIV+ diagnosis effected my sex drive at all.  Now, go get laid!

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline milker

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,034
  • Protected phone sex
Re: I'm horny
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2007, 06:52:42 PM »
lol @ "go get some dick"

well it's good to know i'm not the only one.. .i've tried online hookups but I said no everytime when it comes to actually meet. I guess it's a question of time, i'm not comfy with either neg or poz yet. But I discovered so much free porn maybe I'm getting hooked to porn instead lol

I think I have two fears: 1) infect someone even with the best protection, 2) getting infected with another STD and my body is fighting a nasty one right now I don't want to have my dear CD4s having to fight yet another thing.

A friend told me "it's time to get out of the garbage bag, go out and get your pores breath some". It's not that easy :(
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

Offline Central79

  • Member
  • Posts: 527
Re: I'm horny
« Reply #10 on: March 11, 2007, 12:28:53 PM »
Hey - I went through a phase of not wanting to have sex with somebody else for a while, until my head dealt with it. I got seriously into porn! I think it's okay - it's a good way of giving yourself some space to get used to it.

When I started having sex again, I used the internet to disclose anonymously and also told some guys after 1st dates and stuff, if they wanted to meet for a second date. I'm not sure I was ready when I started back - I freaked out when a negative guy went down on me the first time... But I'm over that now.

It's great when you start fucking again. Reminds you that it's not over, and that HIV can't stop you from having a good time. Just do everything you would do normally to protect yourself from STDs.

Happy shagging!

Matt x.
Diagnosed January 2006
26/1/06 - 860 (22%), VL > 500,000
24/4/06 - 820 (24.6%), VL 158,000
13/7/06 - 840 (22%), VL 268,000
1/11/06 - 680 (21%), VL 93,100
29/1/07 - 1,020 (27.5%), VL 46,500
15/5/07 - 1,140 (22.8%), VL not done.
13/10/07 - 759 (23.2%), VL 170,000
6/11/07 - 630 (25%), VL 19,324
14/1/08 - 650 (21%), VL 16,192
15/4/08 - 590 (21%), VL 40, 832

 


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