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Author Topic: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...  (Read 11739 times)

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Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #50 on: March 06, 2007, 01:45:03 PM »
If we look at the cooking metaphor as cooks, the point of adding spices is to bring out whatever it is that we are cooking, say pork tenderloin with some Hoisin, soy sauce, fresh ginger.  We don't want the dish to be the three spices.  We still want the dish to be pork tenderloin.  If we are using fresh asparagus, we want to still be able to taste them as well.  But once the spices reach the point that whatever was being spiced is forgotten- lost- in the flavours, we have lost the dish completely.  Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline swede_dish

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    • My blog
Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #51 on: March 06, 2007, 01:48:45 PM »
Peter,
You do raise a good point. But, if Matty gets warned so should Val. I don't know I guess I just saw it that Val was kind of trying to get things started. *shrug*
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #52 on: March 06, 2007, 01:51:00 PM »
I would like to remind those who like to laugh at Matty's "rapier wit" that your pleasure often comes at a very high price for some of your fellow forum members. We even have members who have yet to find themselves on the receiving end of Matty's "wit", but who are nonetheless intimidated into not posting for fear of being his next target. 

Think for a minute how you would feel if a comment of yours resulted in being the target of Matty's rapier and you knew all of his supporters were snickering along with him. Would you feel like continuing to come here for support?

We don't like to ban anyone from these forums, but we will not allow the bullying to continue, under the guise of humour or otherwise.

Matty was not warned because of his comments in this thread alone. His increasingly bullying behaviour culminated in the warning and if it didn't happen in this particular thread, it would have happened elsewhere.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Peter Staley

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    • AIDSmeds.com
Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #53 on: March 06, 2007, 01:53:17 PM »
swede_dish -- the warning had little to do with this specific thread, but I had to post it somewhere.  Matty's put-downs can be found in MANY threads.  The warning was issued for his behaviour in general, not for his specific posting in this thread.

Offline swede_dish

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #54 on: March 06, 2007, 02:14:21 PM »
Ahhhhh. Ok I see now. Sorry about that.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline Teresa

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #55 on: March 06, 2007, 02:15:20 PM »
I would hate to see anyone get banned from this site.

Didn't we have a discussion about time outs and bans a few months ago? I thought Peter explained them very good. The rules should apply to everyone no matter what.

Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Dachshund

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #56 on: March 06, 2007, 02:26:31 PM »
Not that it matters but this seems a very arbitrary way to handle this situation. I do find it ironic that Ann can take off her moderator's hat and engage Matty with her rapier wit when she chooses.

Offline Elizabeth

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #57 on: March 06, 2007, 02:34:34 PM »
Not that it matters but this seems a very arbitrary way to handle this situation. I do find it ironic that Ann can take off her moderator's hat and engage Matty with her rapier wit when she chooses.

I wondered about that myself.  It would seem that for the moderators to be viewed as impartial, as they should be, they can't really interact with the discussions in the forums as regular posters.  To do so, puts them on one side or the other of a discussion and removes all impartiality. 
Not all who wander are lost.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #58 on: March 06, 2007, 02:37:20 PM »
They truly are damned if the do and damned if they dont.  I dont envy their position at all most times.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Boo Radley

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    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #59 on: March 06, 2007, 02:37:59 PM »
Okay, so let me get this right..

MTD gets a free pass for calling other forums members stupid, as long as he uses a touch of wit each time he does it?  It doesn't matter how often folks send us moderator reports complaining about his posts, right?  He's a longtime member, so we should ignore all the moderator reports?  He gets more reports than almost any other member, but his spice factor should negate this fact, right?

Peter,

Speaking for myself it seems the sentiment expressed by others relates only to this thread, in which Matty was singled out for ridicule by Val.  His responses were typical Mattyisms, yes, and he should be told to watch what he posts, but permanently banning him because of this thread seems a little unreasonable.  I often wish Matty was a bit less caustic but in this case I understand his responses. 

I don't have any idea how hard it is to moderate the forums but know it's not simple or easy.  Matty probably deserves a warning but it should be mitigated by the context of this thread, which was a personal attack.   If Matty indulges in ad hominem attacks in other threads you have given him sufficient warning and must apply the rules to him as to anyone else.  It's just this one thread which some of us feel should be considered anomalous and not used as a final warning to Matty.

IOW, Matty does not deserve special treatment by the mods but this specific flame fest was inevitable given the original post.  Frankly, I think the thread should have been locked as soon as the initial post was made.

I just read your response to swede_dish and Ann's post and understand why Matty had to be warned here or somewhere else, but I still suggest leniency only for his posts in this thread.   Matty has been given sufficient warning and how he behaves in the future is his decision.  If he is banned I will regret it but as moderators you must act impartially and fairly with all of us and the TOU dictates specific actions you must take. 

Boo



String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Mouse

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #60 on: March 06, 2007, 02:56:42 PM »
I'm certainly glad I'm not a moderator. It seems as though they are also pushed so hard to do what is correct even they will be criticized no matter what their choice is. But, of course, justice must prevail and even if it upsets many members certain things must be done to protect the greater peace. At least, I think that is how this is being construed. Matty is nasty and he keeps kicking puppies - disregarding the fact that the puppies have peed on his leg a bunch of times he's supposed to pat them on the head, give them a biscuit and forget about it.

Yeah, I'm small and young and impressionable and surely I've been bribed or at least I'm so horribly easy to manipulate that I can't tell right from wrong and will only defend those that have been nice to me despite whether or not they are right or wrong. I'm sure if I have a note on my folder in the filing cabinet of God that's what it says.

When someone is banned from this forum I would hope that they were banned because they were deliberately harming whatever cycle we have going on here that contributes to the greater good. I'd hope they were banned because they would looking for trouble. Trolls and assholes and thieves and liars and whatever else goes on that list. When you remove someone from a forum, you're removing their input - because everything they had to contribute was seedy and wrong and rude and useless. By removing Matty from this forum you'd be implying that he contributes nothing of substance. That he has no knowledge to share or that he has never been there in support of other members, has never been perfectly polite and kind and reasonable to anyone who deserved to be treated with respect. Or, most of all, that he has never personally defended anyone that was getting the verbal shit kicked out of them while everyone else, so to speak, saw them laying in an alley bleeding to death, turned their head and kept on walking.

I know no one here gives a shit as long as it looks like they're doing the right thing from the outside. I'm not that naive, I've noticed. This is as much an image thing as anything else, because godforbid if you don't slay the dragon you won't look like you're doing your job and people might question things.

But honestly, to imply that the forum would be better without Matty here - again, that's why you ban someone in the first place, isn't it? To make the forum better? - is enough to make me wonder exactly what the goal here is in the first place.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #61 on: March 06, 2007, 03:25:43 PM »
Dear All,

Personally I want to acknowledge that I erred in not also mentioning Val when I commented about the snapping that had gone on in this thread. Even in his subsequent mea culpa thread I think Val was potentially re-stirring the same pot. I hope not but I haven't check in  there again since I read (most of it) this morning, but had to stop because of its length and not having time to finish it just then.

I appreciated Peter's comments yesterday. Overall I thought them conciliatory and straightforward in spirit rather than threatening to Matty in particular.
It's always been clear that Matty has his fervent adherents here. And equally so there are those who don't dig his mode of expression. From my point of view we have exercised great restraint in respecting both points of view. As Jaser has observed we are sometimes damned no matter what decision we take in certain situations.

Even when it maybe unpopular at times, as far as I am concerned I will continue to call things as honestly and clearly as I see them in terms of maintaining a safe atmosphere  here. We're always working, however imperfectly, to encourage a diversity of expression. The basic goal remains to provide information and support in an atmosphere which makes that possible.

Sincerely, 
« Last Edit: March 06, 2007, 03:28:04 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline DanielMark

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #62 on: March 06, 2007, 03:32:01 PM »
I would hate to see anyone get banned from this site.

Didn't we have a discussion about time outs and bans a few months ago? I thought Peter explained them very good. The rules should apply to everyone no matter what.

Teresa


I agree, Teresa. It can't be an easy task trying to keep order in a group this size when chaos is continually being introduced by hijacking threads, bullying, or any in any other way. Personally I overlook most of it, but it becomes increasingly pointless when it keeps happening so often. I do also wonder at times what anyone looking in and thinking of joining must be wondering when they see it. It's a pity really.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #63 on: March 06, 2007, 04:32:14 PM »
At the end of the day, it's up to Matty himself whether or not he is banned from these forums. He already has two time outs to his name and that means he is out of chances.

If he continues his bullying ways, then he'll be banned. If he doesn't stop creating laughs at the expense of other forum members, then he'll be banned. It's as simple as that.

Nobody said he'd be banned as a result of the comments he made in this thread. We are saying he will be banned if he continues this type of behaviour. That particular "spice" is way past it's use-by date.

Yes, we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. But I will be damned if we are going to let the bullying wise-cracks continue.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ajm_ldn

  • Member
  • Posts: 69
Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #64 on: March 06, 2007, 04:43:26 PM »
Isn't it possible for people to simply click on the "ignore" button if they don't like a member's style?  Why does this not solve the problem of people being repeatedly offended by the remarks of an individual.  Am I missing something?

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #65 on: March 06, 2007, 05:25:43 PM »
ajm,

Yes, as a matter of fact, you are missing something. People who are new to the site and thinking about becoming a member cannot put anyone on ignore. We are potentially allowing people who need support to be frightened away.

And before anyone brings up the likes of the porn thread, the porn thread does not jump into other threads to bully people.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #66 on: March 06, 2007, 05:50:47 PM »
My Sissy Sense tells me that this thread is probably reaching it's use by date so I better get in a response before a Goderator shitcans it.

People often make the mistake of believing that the Internet is some sort of democracy or that particular notions of justice prevail. This is just not the case. In any internet community or collective (such as forums like this one) the final decision and judgements about how the place is run comes down to those who carry the burden of Administration.

In our case those people are Peter and Tim (the Administrators) and Ann and Andy (the Global Moderators). No matter what any of us might think, they are the final arbiters in all matters. Now that's not a criticim of anyone or anything it's just a statement of fact.

I can dig it totally. That how the Internets are run. This site is no different to any other in that respect.

Now as has been pointed out, I haven't been banned but in the judgement of Peter Staley my conduct has reached a level where that I am in iminent danger of a permanent ban. Well so be it. That is entirely Peter's perogative and I have no quibble with it. It would be a pointless endeavour in any event. Ultimately somebody has to run this show.

Now much has been made of my particular style, and I won't dispute it. I am gifted or cursed (depending on your perspective I suppose) with The Invective. It's a skill I aquired through being a political activist here in Australia. It a curiously antipodean thing. When one finds oneself in the heat of debate, you not only present facts and arguments to support your position, you also excoriate your opponent with stinging wit.

Now I'm not saying that I don't have control over that aspect of my style. I do and there's no doubt that I can take the  venom out. If there are people who have been deeply wounded by things I have said to them in the past, well then  I can see how that is to be viewed as regrettable.

That said, I would dispute Peter and Ann on one point. I do not accept for a single moment that I am in anyway a bully. That is to my mind incorrect. You both labour under a misapprehension on that point. I'm not offended by Peter and Ann's erroneous characterisation of me, I've been thought less of by people who opinion of me as a person I have more respect for. Again, that's not meant to be slap, merely how I see things. You may think I'm a bully and I can live with it.

Nevertheless it is entirely up to you to form that judgement and act upon it as you see fit.

To those (a small number of respondents I note) who have suggested that I contribute nothing of worth or value to this place, I maintain that you are not correct. Even Peter Staley has acknowledged I sometimes do good things.

Just don't tell anyone I can be nice. It'll totally ruin my reputation with the rest of the Damned. ;)

Matty the Damned

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #67 on: March 06, 2007, 08:27:39 PM »
That is entirely Peter's perogative and I have no quibble with it. It would be a pointless endeavour in any event. Ultimately somebody has to run this show.




I always had the belief, that it was those that contributed to these forums that keep the show on the road. Every once in a while a moderator has to step in to keep civility. And there is not a thing wrong with that.

Moderators, keep up the excellent work that you do,  and lets continue to keep these forums "civil" Whatever it takes. Once again, nobody should have to be banned, but if someone ( I don't care who) can't be civil, then do the job thats required, through time-outs and ultimately a ban.


Ray



Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 6/4/14,  t-cells are at 423, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 13% 

  
 62 years young.

Offline Nadine

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #68 on: March 06, 2007, 08:41:01 PM »
Just don't tell anyone I can be nice. It'll totally ruin my reputation with the rest of the Damned.  ;)

I'll keep my mouth shut!  :-X


Offline koi1

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #69 on: March 06, 2007, 10:20:12 PM »
One thing (and there are many good things) I will say about Matty, is that he calls it like he sees it, and he is also very consistent. I have seen him come to the defense of many people who have been bullied on this website when the moderators have turned a blind eye (or so it seems). 

I have seen other people be a lot harsher than Matty, and do it far less intelligently, much more blatantly....But I will not name any names, cus that has gotten me in plenty of hot water before.

Each time I have taken it upon myself to cross the line it has been to call someone on outrageous crap or just to say leave me the fuck alone. Now when I singled someone out, my thread was immediately locked and I was told what a flame baiter I was. Maybe I was, who knows.... I didn't see the same consequences for Val when he mentioned Benj and Matty members directly in the title of his thread.

One thing I have learned from being on these threads in a short time, is that I clearly have to develop a tough skin.  That is just the reality. Because noone ever came to my rescue. Now it would be nice to be swimming with goldfish instead of sharks, but that ain't gonna happen. And sometime we all like to take a dip in barracuda infested waters to test our endurance, or maybe just for the thrill of it. 

Now, I have still to see anyone who stays out of it be attacked by Matty. Meaning they were just minding their own business with a mindless thread, when all of a suden Matty came and decimated them (as other forum members tend to do). He does not do that. However if you plan to state an opinion and say something substantial that you believe in, be ready to defend it, debate it and beat it to death until the moderators come and close the thread. Admit it, you like it, who's your daddy? It might just Matty.

rob
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline ajm_ldn

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #70 on: March 06, 2007, 10:24:13 PM »
Ann,

So I guess you have a lot of hard evidence about how people who haven't even joined the site are being "potentially" scared off (as a matter of fact).

So everybody gets censored because somebody might potentially get offended or scared off?

Jeez, lighten up, sistah.

ajm (as a matter of fact!)  lol

Offline Boo Radley

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    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #71 on: March 06, 2007, 11:30:34 PM »
So I guess you have a lot of hard evidence about how people who haven't even joined the site are being "potentially" scared off (as a matter of fact).

Ann didn't state that as fact but as one example why "excoriating" (to quote Matty) personal remarks are inappropriate.  Telling people they are stupid is rarely going to endear you to anyone at the receiving end.  I take Peter and Ann at their word when they state Matty has been reported by other forum members for lambasting someone unfairly (if it is ever fair to do so). 

Quote
So everybody gets censored because somebody might potentially get offended or scared off?

Say what?  An admonition to Matty does not equal everyone being censored. 

Quote
Jeez, lighten up, sistah.

ajm (as a matter of fact!)  lol

Sorry if I've misunderstood your post but if you're joking I missed it.  If you're serious I may still misunderstand.  LOL always confuses me.

Boo,
who is not, contrary to the opinions of some, a moderator brown-noser.  I try to look at all angles before making a conclusion and sometimes I agree with the mods, who work very hard to try to treat everyone fairly as far as I can tell. 
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #72 on: March 06, 2007, 11:37:10 PM »
A post worth quoting. I was looking for these words. Apparently Rob found them before I did.


One thing (and there are many good things) I will say about Matty, is that he calls it like he sees it, and he is also very consistent. I have seen him come to the defense of many people who have been bullied on this website when the moderators have turned a blind eye (or so it seems). 

I have seen other people be a lot harsher than Matty, and do it far less intelligently, much more blatantly....But I will not name any names, cus that has gotten me in plenty of hot water before.

Each time I have taken it upon myself to cross the line it has been to call someone on outrageous crap or just to say leave me the fuck alone. Now when I singled someone out, my thread was immediately locked and I was told what a flame baiter I was. Maybe I was, who knows.... I didn't see the same consequences for Val when he mentioned Benj and Matty members directly in the title of his thread.

One thing I have learned from being on these threads in a short time, is that I clearly have to develop a tough skin.  That is just the reality. Because noone ever came to my rescue. Now it would be nice to be swimming with goldfish instead of sharks, but that ain't gonna happen. And sometime we all like to take a dip in barracuda infested waters to test our endurance, or maybe just for the thrill of it. 

Now, I have still to see anyone who stays out of it be attacked by Matty. Meaning they were just minding their own business with a mindless thread, when all of a suden Matty came and decimated them (as other forum members tend to do). He does not do that. However if you plan to state an opinion and say something substantial that you believe in, be ready to defend it, debate it and beat it to death until the moderators come and close the thread. Admit it, you like it, who's your daddy? It might just Matty.

rob
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Peter Staley

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #73 on: March 07, 2007, 09:57:43 AM »
Quote
That said, I would dispute Peter and Ann on one point. I do not accept for a single moment that I am in anyway a bully. That is to my mind incorrect. You both labour under a misapprehension on that point. I'm not offended by Peter and Ann's erroneous characterisation of me, I've been thought less of by people who opinion of me as a person I have more respect for. Again, that's not meant to be slap, merely how I see things. You may think I'm a bully and I can live with it.

Nevertheless it is entirely up to you to form that judgement and act upon it as you see fit.

Duly noted, Matty.  And I appreciated your overall explanation as well.  Can we agree on one thing?  Even if you don't consider yourself a bully, others definitely feel as though they've been bullied by you (many have said so in their PMs to us).  You might think they are mischaracterizing you, but those ARE their feelings nonetheless.

Quote
Now I'm not saying that I don't have control over that aspect of my style. I do and there's no doubt that I can take the venom out. If there are people who have been deeply wounded by things I have said to them in the past, well then I can see how that is to be viewed as regrettable.

Ah, cryptic as always -- I'll try to take some hope from this.

Cheers,

Peter


Offline ACinKC

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #74 on: March 07, 2007, 11:11:32 AM »
Im pretty sure thats about as close to an apology as one gets with The Damned one.  He is sensible.  I hope the warning is retracted if he settles down for a spell.  And if he flares back up I hope we are wise enough as a community to help him see it before he gets banned.  That includes ALL OF YOU who have supported matty in this thread.  Instead of next time taking it out on Peter and Ann and the rest, why dont we let him know that he may want to ease up off the throttle a bit and maybe even insert ourselves into his defense and let him continue posting civilly.

Just an idea...


Ac
(who throws himself in front of internet bullets like a secret service agent valiantly saving a worthy (not bush) president)
« Last Edit: March 07, 2007, 11:13:34 AM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline David_CA

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #75 on: March 07, 2007, 12:59:33 PM »
Matty, you are a verbal bully.  In my mind, comments like "whilst you chatter on like the resident parrot in the pet shop" only make you a smarter-sounding version of the bully that calls someone "stupid faggot."

I personally find this more offensive than 'most anything Matty's written, as well as incorrect.  I believe the correct 'translation' would be calling somebody dumbass - big difference between "stupid faggot" and "dumbass" and in very poor taste.

Yeah, Matty pisses me off sometimes.  He can be a real prick.  He's also often (don't tell him this) a real gem.  In that I mean his often off-the-wall opinions generally cause one to think about what he means, not just what he says.  One moment he'll get on my last gay (or is that faggot?) nerve, then have me laughing my ass off the next.  Like life, some parts piss me off and truly suck; some are good.  Such is Matty.  A bully?  I've never thought of him that way.  At his worst, I've thought of him as a prissy little bitch, and an intelligent one at that (sorry Matty, just being honest), but that's all.  Do I want him and his posts to be absent from this forum?  Hell no.

The original post by Val seems to be, from the beginning, a flame-bait.  I read and re-read the initial post and still don't know what the hell it was about, except to incite the responses that it did. 

If it were up to me, and it's not, I'd give the original poster a warning, lock the thread, and get back to why we're here - to talk about, discuss, debate, learn, argue a little, get support, whatever about HIV and AIDS.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #76 on: March 07, 2007, 05:17:19 PM »
I can't believe I missed all of this, or that I actually read the entire thread.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Lis

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #77 on: March 07, 2007, 05:33:07 PM »
Philly,

Put a pancake on your head... and say you like cheese....

No really... we are what we are.... who ever thought that this many people could get along as well as we do? 

WELL HERE WE ARE!
poz 1986....

Offline Jeffreyj

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #78 on: March 08, 2007, 03:45:36 AM »
I think some of us are taking this Matty thing way to seriously. To me, Matty is the real deal who has the nads to call out people and keeps them honest. And when he does it, Ego's are bruised. I say: So the F87k. Such is life. If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

So when Matty hurts someones feeling they go crying with there tail between their legs and bitch to the moderators. ("Poor babies")...Matty does not go looking for a school yard brawl. He often times is simply reacting or commenting on what people say. And he calls them out. I call that "Keeping them honest". Maybe after Matty gets done tearing them up, they will actually think twice before they post. this is good, as it may actually avoid tweeker-like spewing trash and bs that comes out of people's mouths.

This is a good thing!....

My final thought on permanent bans: It's unnecessary. If people feel bullied by him, IGNORE him if you don't have the nads to debate him.  Onlookers, Ann, if they get scared off by Matty, I say who wants em here anyway!

In California, 3 strikes(3 Felonies) and you go to prison for life. Memo to mods:  This is an internet site. Opinions
and people make it what it is. This in fact, is your life's blood. Why get rid of it?  It is silly. And oh yeah, the last time I checked, Matty has yet to commit one felony.
Positive since 1985

Offline Ann

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #79 on: March 08, 2007, 09:00:15 AM »
Wow Jeffrey, wow.

Has it not occurred to you that maybe not everyone is as thick skinned as you? That some people are freaked out enough - with a new diagnosis, say - and don't need to be further upset? It can be a huge step for some to put themselves out there on the internet to begin with, without having to worry about someone making fun of them. It's not just Matty who has done this either.

As for the permanent bannings, we don't want to see people banned either. We want this place to be accessible to anyone - and that includes the timid as well as the bold. We don't want to ban Matty, we just want him to tone down some of his more acerbic wit when it's directed at other members. I really don't think that's too much to ask. Matty has agreed to do this and I for one am grateful. (thank you Matty)

And by the way, we welcome and encourage people to voice their opinions. It is totally possible to do so without stomping all over the feelings of someone else. All we ask is that people have a little respect for others - we don't ask that you like everyone here, but we do expect respectful exchanges. Good manners cost nothing.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AustinWesley

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #80 on: March 08, 2007, 01:07:46 PM »

I can certainly see two very different viewpoints here.  I'm certain some of my own sarcastic commentary isn't well received by a few, but I guess they could PM me or put me on ignore.

My only issue is when an entire thread is ruined on a good topic by whichever  demolition crew comes in and really isn't remotely funny or amusing.

Personally, I am stealing Matty's line about "America's favorite dancing meat puppet, Terry Shaivo."   Damn, that shit was funny and so true!

I don't know all the details on this situation, but have enjoyed commentary from several.   I also must say I get tired of a few of the perpetual Polly Anna types on some personal spiritual quest to impress everyone with their decades of "wisdom" and find many of them are equally offensive and disruptive. 

Not trying at all to complain about the moderators mind you.  It's a tough job no doubt. 

I've referred to some of these people who constantly ruin every topic as the "usual suspects" and if it's not one group it's another.  I'm not a cheerleader of any of em and don't drag others to champion my cause or ask personal friends to support my opinions one way or another.

Take what ya need and leave the rest!   I need to keep telling myself that!

Peace!

Wesley




 

Diag. 3/06  Infected aprx. 2 mo. Prior
Date        CD4   %      VL
4/6/06     627    32    36,500     NO MEDS YET!
6/7/06     409    27    36,100
8/23/06   408    25     22,300
1/2/07     354    23     28,700
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2/21/07   274    26     18,500 
3/3/07    RX of Truvada/Sustiva Started.
4/5/07    321     27      Undectable 1st mo.  
5/16/07  383     28    Undectable 2nd mo.
8/10/07  422     32   UD <48 on new scale!

Offline Moffie65

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #81 on: March 08, 2007, 01:15:44 PM »
I also must say I get tired of a few of the perpetual Polly Anna types on some personal spiritual quest to impress everyone with their decades of "wisdom" and find many of them are equally offensive and disruptive. 


We get it my dear Austin, we get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Peter Staley

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Re: For Matty.le.damné and Benjamin aka Aupoint...
« Reply #82 on: March 08, 2007, 01:27:40 PM »
I also must say I get tired of a few of the perpetual Polly Anna types on some personal spiritual quest to impress everyone with their decades of "wisdom" and find many of them are equally offensive and disruptive. 

Wesley -- clearly flamebait.  Consider yourself warned.  And Moffie, use the Moderator Report link next time.

I'm locking this thread.

Peter

 


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