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Author Topic: Just a question  (Read 9253 times)

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Offline Indian_male

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Just a question
« on: March 04, 2007, 03:36:17 PM »
Hello All,

I am an Indian 24 yo male student in Boston. I wanted your expert opinion in y situation.
I had a protected sexual encounter with a female sex worker. I didn't see any breakage in the condom nor did it slip. However, I was terrified for reasons unknown to me. Maybe because it was my first time or probably I had an encounter with a sex worker.
I got a six quick rapid test at a walk-in clinic and it was negative. I also had a PCR by DNA at 50th day after the encounter which was also negative(thank god). Finally I got an antibody test done from Labcorp for both HIV 1&2 after 60 days.
Do I need any more tests. I mean should I go with the conservative mark of testing at 13 weeks or can I put an end.
I really appreciate the service you are doing to the needy and worried people.

Offline Ann

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2007, 03:46:32 PM »
Indian,

You are hiv negative. Protected intercourse is just that - protected. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv transmission. You do not need further testing over this incident.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Keep using those condoms correctly and consistently and you will avoid hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2007, 03:53:38 PM »
Dear Ann, Thanks for the reply.
Beleive me I will never ever indulge in any sexual acts until I get married. I am only praying that I should come out of this incident safely. I beleive I am safe(Gods grace).

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Just a question
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2007, 04:31:15 PM »
Indian,

You can have all the sex you want as long as your partner is willing and you use condoms. We only give you the facts here, we don't make moral judgements. Sex is a normal part of human nature.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #4 on: March 04, 2007, 04:46:07 PM »
Thanks.
One real quick question How reliable are my 50 day PCR & 60 day antibody tests??

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Just a question
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2007, 04:54:57 PM »
Indian,

Considering you didn't have a risk to begin with, your results are VERY reliable. You ARE hiv negative. Always use condoms and you'll stay that way.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2007, 05:33:09 PM »
Why everybody thinks mine was a no risk encounter????

Just wanted to know.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Just a question
« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2007, 05:37:37 PM »
Indian,

Because as I said to you in my first response:

Indian,

You are hiv negative. Protected intercourse is just that - protected. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv transmission. You do not need further testing over this incident.

There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. This shows us two things. One, condoms are very effective for the prevention of hiv transmission. Two, oral sex is much lower risk than previously believed. We now have the evidence that oral sex (giving a blowjob - getting a blowjob isn't a risk and neither is cunnilingus) is a very low risk activity where hiv transmission is concerned.

You didn't have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Just a question
« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2007, 05:45:44 PM »
Indian,

By the way, if you're thinking you had a risk because you were with a sex worker, then think again.

People are not risky, certain activities are. It doesn't matter who you have intercourse with, a condom will protect you.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Indian_male

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2007, 05:47:09 PM »
Thanks Ann,

I would have not worried so much since she was a sex worker I became so concerned.

Offline Indian_male

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  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2007, 05:58:47 PM »
You are really sweet and kind Ann.
Btw, I saw your blogs. You seem to be a very positive person in life. I need to learn from people like you.
One thing that I fail to understand is in many such forums. There are people who are matured, educated and why do they behave irrationally at times(esp I see wrt to diseases like HIV). I know I also belong to that sect of people. But, in my case I really feel its valid as in my country we are not given any good info on sexual practices. They consider it as something like a Taboo. I never had sex before this encounter and never knew how to use condoms and never wanted to do it. It all just happened. So, I freaked out if I have used the condom properly or no.
I will really appreciate your comments on this. Everyones comments are welcome though.



Offline RapidRod

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2007, 06:25:47 PM »
You didn't have a risk to begin with. You didn't need your first test let alone any continuing tests. Please keep all your questions on the forum do not use the PM function to ask questions.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #12 on: March 05, 2007, 06:17:27 PM »
Indian, I've just deleted the latest new thread you started. As you have been asked before, please keep all of your questions and comments in this same thread so readers can follow them.

Thanks for your cooperation.
Andy Velez

Offline Indian_male

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2007, 06:28:41 PM »
Sorry Andy.........

Can you please comment on my post. Also, see my first post. Your comments are highly appreciated

Hello all,

Anyone here know what exactly is the name of the PCR tests offered by ladb like Labcorp. Also has anyone found any authorized link where it says that the PCR tests are highly reliable after 28 days.

Your comments are highly appreciated

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #14 on: March 05, 2007, 06:38:37 PM »
Your attention is turned in the wrong direction. You were never at risk to begin with in relation to the incident which first brought you here. So it's no surprise that you tested negative each time you (totally unnecessarily) tested.

The PCR was never designed to be a diagnostic test. Because of its high level of sensitively it can sometimes yield a false positive, but not a false negative.

You don't have any need for further testing. The real issue is what's going on with you that you are insisting you were at risk when you weren't. This is all about feelings and not facts based in HIV science. If you can't let go of this concern I suggest you see a counselor at your school or other professional to help you sort out what's really going on.

This is not an HIV situation. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Just a question
« Reply #15 on: March 05, 2007, 06:42:17 PM »
Indian,

There is no point discussing PCR testing with you. You do not need further testing.

You had a negative result after a no risk incident. This means you ARE hiv negative.

It's time for you to move on with your life.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Indian_male

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #16 on: March 05, 2007, 06:48:31 PM »
Thanks Andy.
I really know tnow that I was not at risk. But if at all by some mistake while using the condom. Can I assume that my PCR are other tests are highly reliable and prove me safe.

Beleive these are not based on my anxiety. I just want to confirm I am good to go.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #17 on: March 05, 2007, 07:35:06 PM »
How many ways and from how many more people do you have to hear what Ann has already told you. You are HIV negative. Period. End of story.

Now what???!!!!
Andy Velez

Offline Indian_male

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  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #18 on: March 05, 2007, 08:33:40 PM »
Thanks Andy. You have a good one.

Offline Indian_male

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #19 on: March 10, 2007, 04:37:57 PM »
hello

I just wanted to ask a real quick question.
I was reading other posts and I see many times Andy, Rapid, Ann and othes have told that CDC have changed the new guidelines to 3 months when compared to the old 6 month windiw. Can someone point me to the CDC  webpage which says so.

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Offline Indian_male

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #21 on: March 11, 2007, 10:08:22 AM »
Hello all,

You might be knowing that I had already posted with a low risk exposure. One time protected sex with a sex worker and got the following tests done which were all negative(God's grace).

6 week rapid test
50th day PCR DNA
60 days antibody test.

I am not worried that I have something and will never do such thing until I am married. I feel bad that I have done a mistake and secondly I am scared that suddenly one fine day in my life if I get to know that I am infected. I know that its not possible until I do something risky again(Which I will not). Only thing that worries me most is that my encounter was with a sex worker.

I know this might sound stupid but please beleive your words will comfort me.

Thanks.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Just a question
« Reply #22 on: March 11, 2007, 12:55:36 PM »
Indian,

The fact that you tested negative and will continue to test negative has NOTHING to do with God's grace and everything to do with the fact that you used a condom. Condoms have been PROVEN to prevent hiv infection. You didn't have a LOW risk, you had NO risk.

It doesn't matter who you have intercourse with, whether it's a sex worker or the woman you plan to marry. You MUST use condoms and condoms do work no matter who you are with. It's not just sex workers who might be infected, it could be ANYONE. It's not who you have sex with, it's how you do it and you did the right thing and used a condom.

You didn't have a risk and you have negative results to back that up. It's time you moved on with your life. If you cannot do so, please seek the help a of a mental health care professional to help you get over your feelings of guilt and anxiety. We cannot do that for you here.

You had no risk, you are hiv negative and there is nothing more we can do for you here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Indian_male

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #23 on: March 11, 2007, 03:10:13 PM »
Thanks Ann,

I understand what you said.
If I have to be completely sure(medically) that I am fine what do i do???

Please respond.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Just a question
« Reply #24 on: March 11, 2007, 05:30:45 PM »
Indian,

If you're worried about your body, go get a complete physical and a complete sexual health care check up. While you're seeing your doctor, you might want to ask for a referral to a counselor to help you work through those feelings of guilt that have accompanied your completely normal sexual urges.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Indian_male

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  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #25 on: March 11, 2007, 05:35:03 PM »
Thanks Ann,

I have already had all the tests done and will be repeating the syphylys test after three months. I am only concerned about HIV.
I just want to know when can I be 100% sure that I am HIV free. I don't mean to say that I don't beleive that I am fine now. I really know that I had a safe sex and also several tests done. But this window period thing is still in my mind. Please help.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Just a question
« Reply #26 on: March 11, 2007, 05:37:32 PM »
Indian,

If your hiv test was three months or more past your incident, then you are conclusively hiv negative.

I would suggest you see a counselor to talk your sexually related feelings of guilt over with. This is the root of your worries, not hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Indian_male

  • Member
  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #27 on: March 11, 2007, 05:43:07 PM »
Here is my test history. All were negative

6 week rapid test
50th day PCR DNA
60 days antibody test.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
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Re: Just a question
« Reply #28 on: March 11, 2007, 06:08:47 PM »
Indian,

You REALLY don't need further testing. Not only did you not have a risk, but if you were by some miracle infected, you would not have had a negative PCR at 50 days.

You ARE hiv negative. It's time you forgave yourself for whatever wrong it is that you seem to think you committed and got on with your schoolwork. Seriously.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Indian_male

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  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #29 on: March 11, 2007, 06:11:44 PM »
Thanks Ann. I will take your advice.

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #30 on: March 13, 2007, 06:21:29 PM »
How conclusive will be a three month PCR by DNA and a antibody test taken together????

My encounter was protected sex with a sex worker I have three weeks to go for the three month mark.Tests already taken.

6 weeks rapid antibody test(negative)
50 days pcr by Dna(Negative)
60 days antibody tests for hiv 1&2 (negative)

Please do not think I am worried unnecssarily but I cannot move forward until I complete all the tests to know I am fine.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #31 on: March 13, 2007, 07:16:06 PM »
PCR DNA is not a diagnostic test for HIV.

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #32 on: March 13, 2007, 07:47:57 PM »
How conclusive will be a three month PCR by DNA and a antibody test taken together?

Rod I think you didn't see my question properly. I meant both dna pcr and antibody  test at 3 month

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #33 on: March 13, 2007, 08:59:46 PM »
Just take the ELISA test and save yourself the money on the PCR test. A three month test is conclusive. Why are you testing? You didn't have a risk.

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #34 on: March 17, 2007, 11:07:16 AM »
To all,

You guys may be remembering me. i had a protected one time sex with a sex worker. The condom was intact.
I spoke to a infectious diseases doctor and presented my test history. 6 week antibody negative, 50 days pcr dna negative, 60 days antibody negative.
She said the tests are reassuring but the protocol is 6 weeks, 3 months & 6 months.
Now with all such cunfusing opinions how do I rest in peace????

PS: With due respect to all your words I have sceduled an appointment with a mental counsellor.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #35 on: March 17, 2007, 11:29:13 AM »
Talking with a mental health counselor is an excellent idea. Hopefully that will help you to sort out the unwarranted fears you have about your incident.

And we totally disagree with the counselor who said to test out to six months. The CDC is quite conservative about this issue and has long advocated 3 months as a reliable testing point. However long you test out to I'm confident the results are going to be the same: HIV negative.
Andy Velez

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #36 on: March 17, 2007, 11:54:45 AM »
Thanks Andy,

One quick thing.
If I want to commit to a girl for a longtime relationship(marriage) at this point of time. Knowing all about my encounter and the tests I have done what do you think I should do????

Wait or go ahead......................................

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #37 on: March 17, 2007, 12:50:08 PM »
We know you are reliably HIV negative. Period. You weren't at risk to begin with and your test result proved that.

As far as your considering marriage, if you have been sexually active it's always a good idea to have a full STD panel done to make certain you are free of any other STDs.

Otherwise I don't see any impediment in terms of HIV and any other STDs with the abovementioned suggestion in mind.
Andy Velez

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #38 on: March 17, 2007, 12:57:31 PM »
Thanks Andy.

That was the only sex I have ever had in my life.
Do you call me active????
Also, I have got all the  tests for STD's like gonorea, chamydia, herpes and syphilis.

Do you think I am done enough.

Can I go ahead and commit to the girl.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #39 on: March 17, 2007, 06:48:32 PM »
Yes, now that you have clarified about your sexual history I would say you can proceed to marriage without being concerned about any STDs.

Andy Velez

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #40 on: March 20, 2007, 07:44:44 PM »
Hope evrybody is doing well...........

I am really feeling better of course there is little anxiety. I think time will take its turn. Next week I will reach the three month mark. I need all your prayes and wishes for the same. I don't want to repeat my protected sex story and the testing history. Also, I want to appologize to some of you who were really pissed of by my repeat questions.

The last three months were really hell and my routime has totally changed I really want to get the things back. I know its difficult but I will definately put my sincere efforts.

There was just a thought in my mind today when I was returing from office which I would like to share. Most people here are not ready to listen to their doctors I beleive most have visited specialists. If the internet were not to exist then it would have been so simple. We would have bound to listen to the doctors. The mistake we all did I guess for googling things out. So one leaf which I have taken out of here is never ever rely on internet for medical problems. They just make the matter worst esp when the person is a weak minded like me.

Thats all I had to say.

Please wish me luck........I need it.

Thanks one and all.

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #41 on: March 21, 2007, 05:53:36 PM »
I guess nobody wanna see my post.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #42 on: March 21, 2007, 06:32:09 PM »
I don't think anyone has anything left to say. Clearly we regard you getting an HIV negative test result as a foregone conclusion.

You're anxious about it. That's natural but there's no real reason to doubt what the answer is going to be.
Andy Velez

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #43 on: March 25, 2007, 03:44:51 PM »
Hello Andy and all,

I kno this is redundadnt.
I have decided not to test anymore. I just need all you guys opinion. I have so many good things going on in my life. I don't want to live in fear anymore. I would need your honest opinion based on my situation before I take on. I assure you that if you guys ask me to test further I ill not get tensed and orry abt it but will do it when the time comes.

Please let me know.

You all are really good people working for a good cause. I would really appreciate if you wanna give any advice to me.

Thanks.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #44 on: March 25, 2007, 05:03:32 PM »
You keep saying things like that about "just one more." We've told you that you don't need to test but that doesn't seem to matter to you.

Test, don't test. Do whatever you want to do. All you have to do is re-read what we've said and you'll know what we think.

Grow up and get on with your life. This kind of behavior on your part is hardly preparation for the responsibilities of marriage. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #45 on: March 31, 2007, 07:32:39 PM »
Andy, Rod and Ann,

I am really ashamed while writing this.
Last week I went to a message parlour. Here is wat happened. I did npt touch her at all. She wanted to mastrubate me and stroked my penis once or twice. i stopped her and told her I do not need her to do that. Then she got naked and rubbed her vagina with her fingures.

 I was just watching her.

Then I started mastrubating myself. At the end she just touched my balls(scrotum) once.
I really do not want to say that I lapsed as I had no intentions of any sexual encounter nor I think I did anything risky. But I want you guys to see if something went wrong here.
I really do not want to go back to the old scary days.....................

I did not touch her vagina from my hands at all. Nor I was expecting her to touch my parts. But at the end she happen to touch(Caress) my balls.

Thanks.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #46 on: March 31, 2007, 08:12:33 PM »
You've been here long enough and on medhelp long enough to know it wasn't a risk at all. Seek a mental health professional to deal with your problems. Playing on HIV forums is not going to help.

Offline Indian_male

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #47 on: March 31, 2007, 08:18:44 PM »
Thanks Rod,

Ys you are right I have been on the forums since last three months. I do understand that there was no risk involved. But still wanted to hear it from you.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Just a question
« Reply #48 on: April 01, 2007, 01:07:20 PM »
Indian, #1, don't send me anymore PMs. Keep your comments and questions here.

Your anxiety and guilt about sexual acts have nothing to do with HIV risk. You already know that. Just as you know we aren't going to tell you anything different than we have already about these no-risk situations.

Either keep your pants zipped up or start dealing with your feelings about your sexuality in the proper professional setting. That's a service we cannot provide for you here.

 
Andy Velez

Offline Indian_male

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  • Posts: 28
Re: Just a question
« Reply #49 on: April 01, 2007, 01:28:13 PM »
Andy, I understand what you said.
I am planning to see a councellor.
Was I at any risk???
I am asking this because I don't want to go back to past scary days.

 


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