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Author Topic: Hetero and positive  (Read 1692 times)

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Offline numbat

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Hetero and positive
« on: February 20, 2007, 06:23:13 AM »
The funny thing is I never even thought I might have ever become HIV positive, I never would have checked. The risk for a heterosexual man to become infected is very low, but it does happen. I was fortunate in some ways, I was hit by an unrelated mrsa infection and during a normal battery of testing it was found out that I as in the acute stage of HIV infection, If that had not happened I never would have known and would probably be in much worse shape by now. That was three years ago.
           The thing that bothers me the worst about most the media covering the issue is that it is made out to be a homosexual issue or a bisexual issue, heterosexual men get HIV also, it does happen. doesn't this bother anybody else ? 

Offline IzPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
  • God, grant me the serenity...
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2007, 07:27:25 AM »
           The thing that bothers me the worst about most the media covering the issue is that it is made out to be a homosexual issue or a bisexual issue, heterosexual men get HIV also, it does happen. doesn't this bother anybody else ? 

Try being a single hetero woman who is positive.  Media coverage doesn't always include the women being positive.

Kinda sucks, ya know?

However, you do your best to move forward, and educate those who are undereducated.

It's good that you found out when you did, Numbat.  Now you can be sure to take care of yourself properly and get the treatments necessary.

Be well.
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

Offline zeb

  • Member
  • Posts: 172
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2007, 07:36:17 AM »
Hi Numbat,

I'm also hetero. I knew the risks but I had a female sexual partner telling me she was okay. I found out almost 2 yrs later after I heard she has a bisexual partner who frequently has his own unprotected pleasures. So after a short single exposure I won the wrong Lottery. I'm still doing fine. And as you probably know most people do fine even after 3 yrs, but it's better to know sooner of course.
You're lucky you found out. What is you didn't have any test? Perhaps you'd feel fine now.... but.... how about within 3 years!?

You know, I still feel angry about this episode. Because I'm a divorced daddy with 2 small kids (2 yrs & 5 yrs). It's not me I'm concerned about, it's the question 'will I be able to raise my kids until they're standing on their own adult feet!?' this is really running through my mind.

For the rest the virus doesn't make me complain. As long as I will be fine & can get wrinkly and old with it I'm not complaining. But indeed, the uncertainty of 'life expectancy' makes me sad.

Best,
Zeb

Offline Nadine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2007, 07:57:53 AM »
It's not me I'm concerned about, it's the question 'will I be able to raise my kids until they're standing on their own adult feet!?' this is really running through my mind.

Zeb, you will get to see your children all grown up...

(((HUGS)))

Offline med forum

  • Member
  • Posts: 76
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2007, 08:48:16 AM »
I understand your frustration in a different sort of way.....My boyfriend is positive and I'm a negative female....
I have been trying to find a support group and even though I live in a big city, there aren't many resources for those who have loved ones who are positive let alone groups for those who are hetero and pos. I am at a point where I am feeling frustrated because this is one of the issues in the whole world of HIV.....it won't happen to me, especially because I'm not gay or bi.

Stay positive and strong because these are two of the most important things, especially in the beginning.
Also, try to seek out a group or people in this forum that may know of a group that can help you with your specific needs....this site as well as thebody.com are really useful.

Peace & health
Peace & health

Offline Grinch

  • Member
  • Posts: 325
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2007, 10:15:49 AM »
I'm married, hetero and positive as well.  If I hadn't been diagnosed with Cancer I likely wouldn't have been diagnosed. Though with a CD4 of 20 or so I'd have been catching some other nasty OI.

   It certainly is possible to become HIV infected through hetero sex,  just much less likely. Unfortunately many women tend to be a bit more.... aggressive... right at the beginning of their period.  I'd guess this could be an issue if there is blood present.  That is pure speculation on my part however.

Offline Coffeechick88

  • Member
  • Posts: 431
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #6 on: February 20, 2007, 11:14:02 AM »
If you look at worldwide statistics--heterosexual transmission is the most common, though in the western countries, it tends to be more commonly homosexual/bisexual.  I can definitely sympathize--I am a heterosexual woman and we are often ignored when it comes to this.  It's hard to get a support group that even acknowledges us--usually they are all of gay men, and while I am not complaining about that (just so nobody here misunderstands me and freaks out on me), but it is always nice to hear of someone you can relate to and goes through the same issues as you, because the men can't always help in that area. 

It's good you found out when you did--many aren't that lucky and find out when they are in the hospital with PCP.  Hopefully you can focus on being healthy and you will have to educate people, because they still think it is a gay disease and there still is so much misinformation out there.
Lucas James is here
Born 6-14-08 at 1233 am
8 lbs 14 oz, 22 in long

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,394
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #7 on: February 20, 2007, 11:24:18 AM »
Hey Numbat,

I just wanted to welcome you here. It is a great place of support and, as you can tell, there are plenty of heteros, so you can feel at home.

I'm not one of them, but I'll welcome you anyway.  :D

I hope you are taking good care of yourself. Let us know how you're doing.

HUGS (don't panic, I give them to everyone, even women),

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Lisa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,240
  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2007, 11:37:53 AM »
Welcome to AIDSMEDS!
There are lots of hetero members here. Hang around for a while, and you will find a really great bunch of folks.
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline dixieman

  • Member
  • Posts: 889
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2007, 05:15:45 PM »
Oh... I have more friends who are heterosexuals who are hiv+ than homosexual friends...because the homos have died out... 2 out of 3 are female... unfortunately a friend of mine his daughter became hiv+ positive at the ripe age of 20 last year... if the REAL numbers of hiv+ came out instead of 1 to 5 million Americans having contracted this disease I would not be suprised if its 10 times as many people than  the government suggests... thats why the CDC wants to test everyone from  14 to 80 ... millions of people are not aware they are hiv+ also the United States ranks number one for STD's in the industrilized nations... one site lists 70 million Americans have at least one std... isnt this an awakening ...thought!

Offline lostboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 67
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #10 on: February 26, 2007, 08:03:22 PM »

Hi Zeb,

I'm also hetro and +ve.  I have three small kids (ages 3, 4 & 7 - all negative).  I liked unprotected sex too much and I have to take the good (3 kids) with the bad (HIV). When I was diagnosed my first thoughts were "who is going to take care of them when I die".  After educating myself more, I am going to plan for the worse, but I am expecting to see them all graduate college.  It has become my life mission.

One good thing about the wee fellows is that they keep me so busy I don't have time to lie around feeling sorry for myself.  Their constant energy has actually been a source of strength for me.

All the best.

Lost
"There is no gene for the human spirit"

Offline dtwpuck

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,013
  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: Hetero and positive
« Reply #11 on: February 26, 2007, 08:13:05 PM »
Numbat, yes, it bothers me.     Gay men understand very well that this has never been a gay disease and really feel distressed that HIV is associated with "gay".  Despite the fact that the majority (albeit dwindling) of cases in industrialized countries are homosexual males, that does not diminish the fact that the vast majority of cases in the world are heterosexual.    However, I certainly hope that you will find support from people of all walks of life on this forum.  We are humans with a disease.  While there will be plenty of gay banter going on here, it in no way diminishes (at least for me) the compassion for anyone with HIV. 

Welcome. 
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

 


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