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Author Topic: mutual masturbation paranoia  (Read 22140 times)

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Offline twtm2002

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mutual masturbation paranoia
« on: June 17, 2006, 01:12:24 PM »
Hi - I have posted here before but had to login/register again.

First of all - this site is a saviour to so many. Thank you for your work.

Secondly, I have not posted for some times because I have been in counselling discussing my fear of contracting HIV.

Finally, I lapsed last week and saw an escort. We had protected oral (I wore a condom) so I know I was safe. However, the girl did taste her vaginal juices with her fingers and then kissed me soon after on the lips. What are the chances of infection in this scenario? I am assuming small to theoretical? No cuts, no sores etc.

thank you in advance and best wishes

a slightly calmer person!

Offline Ann

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Re: oral question
« Reply #1 on: June 17, 2006, 01:22:20 PM »
tw,

We are now using a new and different forum software and we all had to re-register.

Quote
However, the girl did taste her vaginal juices with her fingers and then kissed me soon after on the lips. What are the chances of infection in this scenario? I am assuming small to theoretical?

I'm sorry but you assume wrong. There is absolutely NO risk of hiv infection, cuts or no cuts, sores or no sores. No risk.

Please keep up the good work in counseling and don't view your relapse as a total failure. Just pick yourself up and put this incident behind you. You did not have a risk of hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline twtm2002

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Re: oral question
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2006, 04:57:28 AM »
thanks ann for your speedy response. I suspected as much but went through a load of mind-games/what ifs such as - if she had a small amount vaginal juice on her lip and i had a small cut on my lips etc...BUT, even I realise that transmission doesn't occur like that!

The girl later told me she didn't go for HIV testing (she always uses condoms) but was clear of other STDs as she checks monthly. I think her not knowing her HIV status also freaked me out.

anyway, onwards and upwards and back to tell my counsellor who is a splending, understanding chap.

best wishes to all.

Offline twtm2002

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mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2006, 03:03:15 AM »
Hi
It has been a while - and for that I am pleased with my progress - but I sadly lapsed last week and had an erotic massage and have now become paranoid about infection again. I masturbated the girl while she touched me and clearly, her vaginal fluids touched my fingers (which were clean and cut-free)....I washed my hands thoroughly before touching my penis after the massage but the next day (sat) I had lots of aches and my neck glands were up. I just need some re-assurance and then I can move on and not post again for many many months!
best wishes and keep up the good work...

Offline Ann

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2006, 04:58:11 AM »
tw,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Mutual masturbation is NOT a risk for hiv infection. Please make sure you read through the Transmission Lesson found in the Welcome thread, so you can understand what is a risk and what isn't. Mutual masturbation is NOT.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2007, 04:18:05 AM »
Hi again - trying to use old post....so I succumbed again and was given a hand-job.....I feel awful and ashamed and must get help again...I've also come out in a rash on my neck and right shoulder. I know the answer but SO value your clear guidance....this isn't HIV/ARS is it? I KNOW you can't transmit via someone touching your cock or ass with bare hands (however dirty) but the irrationality that takes over is just incredible.

I have stopped seeing my counsellor but plan to do so again. I lasted several months last time and need his help again - the simple issue is cost!

Offline Coffeechick88

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2007, 05:36:38 AM »
No--that isn't HIV.  You are definitely correct that you need to go back to your counselor.
Lucas James is here
Born 6-14-08 at 1233 am
8 lbs 14 oz, 22 in long

Offline RapidRod

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2007, 05:57:56 AM »
If you are going to act like this every time you get a wank job, then maybe you seriously need to keep your pecker in your pants until sometime you can deal with your issues.

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2007, 10:51:38 AM »
hi- thanks for this reply - it is reassuring despite my ability to objectively ascertain before you wrote anything that all would be OK. I think so much of this is tied to guilt (punishing oneself for betrayal etc..) and also in my case to issues from my past. I am sorry to be weak and message again esp. as i feel angry that i could fall into the trap of believing i could be infected from a handjob! But, such is the way the mind works. happy new year and yes, i am seeing someone soon!

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2007, 07:47:31 AM »
Hi -- I lapsed again. It has been a LONG time so i am not all consumed with pain and anger about my inability to stop seeing people outside my r'ship for sexual gratification.....BUT, i do feel those awful pangs of HIV paranoia and clearly shame. I'm continuing the counselling and I URGE all people who have some sort of addiction to seek help. This board is also the greatest, most rational place on the web to assuage fears....

So, again, it was JUST mutual masturbation with an escort - an American woman - she said she was clean and checked twice a year (she says that is common in US girls in major cities)....My hand did touch her pussy and then my exposed penis.....but, I am assuming in ALL scenarios of mutual masturbation - even with vaginal juices touching an exposed penis outside of intercourse - i am safe?

I have one further question - can STIs be transmitted by mutual masturbation? If so, which ones are most common? I have no real idea how Hepatitis is most likely to be transmitted...any thoughts most appreciated....

yours in hope and love

Offline Ann

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2007, 08:16:12 AM »
tw,

Mutual masturbation is one of the safest things you can do sexually. Hiv is absolutely not a concern here. There is a slight possibility of herpes, gonorrhea, clamydia or syphilis through mutual masturbation, but it is unlikely. Hepatitis is mainly spread through blood contact, but will not be spread through mutual masturbation.

If you're going to be freaked out every time you engage in mutual masturbation, maybe wearing a condom would help you feel more confident.

Mutual masturbation is NOT a risk for hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2007, 12:32:22 PM »
Thank you Ann. Yes, I plan to wear a condom next time. In fact, I plan not to stray next time....Your reassurance re:HIV is so helpful. It calms the irrationality enormously. Thank you.

Offline twtm2002

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mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #12 on: August 05, 2007, 04:52:21 AM »
Guys
I've lapsed again - it has been a while and the counselling for my "addiction" is really helping.
But, I am writing in fear again
I had an encounter with an escort who also strips in clubs
We had protected oral - no worry there (hey, i am learning sthing!)
but, i also fingered her and 2 days later i see i had 2 very small cuts on the active hand! one of my index finger - the cut is like a paper cut and the other under a nail. Both a tad sore but not weeping much at all.
She was not particularly wet in her vagina but I am of course paranoid i've had an exposure from this reckless fingering act....
Please can you reassure and I have already left a message for my counsellor so hopefully will move on...
your wisdom and kindess is ALWAYS so brilliant.
x

Offline RapidRod

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #13 on: August 05, 2007, 06:27:58 AM »
Fingering is NOT a risk of contracting HIV. Read the lessons on transmission. You can find the link in the "Welcome" thread.

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #14 on: August 05, 2007, 06:38:40 AM »
thanks for this - does that include even having small cuts on the hands? could you just give me a very quick understanding of why that is so? I suppose i "ignorantly" thought a small open wound being exposed to vaginal fluid could potentially infect quite easily? thanks for the speedy reply - best to all and keep well xx

Offline RapidRod

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #15 on: August 05, 2007, 07:13:32 AM »
Yes, nicks, small cuts, abrasions, blisters and rashes. There is no risk.

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #16 on: August 05, 2007, 07:56:05 AM »
thanks so much - i assume from the reading i've done that is because of the fragility of the virus?
many thanks x

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #17 on: August 05, 2007, 09:28:04 AM »
Even if the woman you were with is HIV+, fingering would not be a risk. The bodily fluids which would contain HIV are in the cervical area, qute a ways up from where you would be fingering.

And nicks, cuts, bruises, abrasions and whatever notwithstanding, there has never been a documented case of transmission via this very, very common sexual activity. It's safe to say, that even though you're a dog like the rest of us, you aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

Just keep the latex condoms handy for when you get around to intercourse. And use them!
Andy Velez

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #18 on: August 10, 2007, 12:58:51 PM »
thanks andy - of course, sod's law i have a sore throat a week after the event so am totally paranoid but UNDERSTAND your points and information.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #19 on: August 10, 2007, 01:32:36 PM »
Sore throats happen for all sorts of reasons. No matter what your mind may say otherwise about it, it has nothing to do with HIV and yours is not an HIV situation. Period. End of story.

Andy Velez

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #20 on: August 18, 2007, 04:59:45 AM »
thanks Andy
I've actually now been on penicillin for sore tonsils and had a weird rash on my groin - I've tried to put this down to thrush/jock itch as a result of the penicillin but of course, I'm a neurotic mess and think it is ARS. While I absolutely understand the  small open cut on my finger which I inserted into her vagina is not a risk I still am racked with anxiety -- of course, much of this is guilt related and I know I need help. I am just grateful that you guys offer such sage advice and that I can keep re-reading your posts to reassure me.

Offline Ann

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #21 on: August 18, 2007, 05:15:56 AM »
tw,

Hiv doesn't cause a "wierd rash" on people's groins. If you're worried about the rash and want to get it treated - guess what, only your doctor can do that for you.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline twtm2002

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back again
« Reply #22 on: January 29, 2008, 12:35:58 PM »
Hi - I am back again. It has been a LONG while and I am proud of my good behaviour - but today I lapsed.
I went to an escort and we engaged in mutual masturbation and she blew her breath on my penis (not sucking, just blowing/caressing) - i also used a dildo on her vagina/anus. I then ejaculated in her mouth tho I didn't insert it fully so my penis shaft didn't touch any of her inner mouth (she had put vaginal fluid in her mouth from her finger). I am angry as this is so weak and awful of me but I am trying hard and plan to take action again with a counsellor.
Could you just reassure me that nothing I have done constitutes a risk? I know it probs is a zilch risk but i just need some re-assurance.
sorry and sorry to myself
but your help is heroic

Offline Ann

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #23 on: January 29, 2008, 01:32:55 PM »
twt,

Nothing you did put you at risk for anything - other than beating yourself up.

Wanting and having sexual contact with another human being is natural and normal, so yes, please see a counselor so you can get to the bottom of why your sexual activities cause you so much mental anguish. We cannot help you with that here. If you keep posting about this NO RISK situation, you will quickly be given a time out.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #24 on: January 30, 2008, 05:29:51 AM »
Ann
thanks for the reply - I am going to see my counsellor about my addiction. I am so grateful for your reassurance.

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #25 on: February 06, 2008, 04:38:22 PM »
ann
final question - promise...what are my chances of getting another form of sti if not hiv from my recent experience? is it small given there was no oral contact - the escort did obviously touch my penis etc..tho not after she has touched herself etc..her breath was v close to the penis head tho..
i assume this is a slight risk for sti transmission but unlikely?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #26 on: February 06, 2008, 05:59:40 PM »
You are not going to contact HIV or any other STD by someones breath.

Offline anniebc

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #27 on: February 06, 2008, 09:22:10 PM »
HIV is not an airborne virus and cannot be transmitted by casual contacts or by someone breathing on you..seriously you need to re-read the Welcome Thread and follow the lessons on how HIV is and is not transmitted.

Jan
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Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #28 on: February 07, 2008, 03:53:55 AM »
thanks - i was specifically not referring to HIV but other STIs. sorry! And, I was also referring to mutual masturbation and transmission of these "normal" stis.

Offline Ann

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #29 on: February 07, 2008, 09:07:57 AM »
twt,

This is an hiv site, not an STI site.

Keep working with your counselor. There's nothing more we can do for you here and if you come back with more about your latest incident, you'll be timed out.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline twtm2002

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hiv from sucking a woman's breast?
« Reply #30 on: April 07, 2008, 04:38:50 PM »
can i ask the potential risks of this? i saw a call girl today and did suck her breasts for some time - she didn't have cuts or sores but i read that it is a risk? What would be the transmittable fluid? I am ridiculously axnxious.
pls help

Offline thunter34

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Re: hiv from sucking a woman's breast?
« Reply #31 on: April 07, 2008, 04:41:18 PM »
PLease keep all your thoughts and questions in your original thread, per the posting guidelines.  Your questions will only be answered once you return to your original thread.

Thanks.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline twtm2002

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hiv/breast sucking
« Reply #32 on: April 07, 2008, 04:42:40 PM »
hi
sorry - back to original thread
is it possible to contract hiv from breast sucking over prolonged period e.g. ten mins?
pls clarify
x

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #33 on: April 07, 2008, 04:45:19 PM »
I've merged your threads. Please keep everything in this one thread.

No, you can suck a woman's breast as long as you like. It's not going to put you at risk. Your fearful mind is mistakenly mixing up an HIV+ mother nursing an infant as a possible means of transmission. Suck away. It's not an issue for you.

 
Andy Velez

Offline anniebc

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #34 on: April 07, 2008, 04:45:39 PM »
Thank you for returing to your original thread..please keep all your question in this one from now on.

This is not an HIV risk..please read Welcome Thread and read how HIV is and isn't transmitted.

Jan
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Offline thunter34

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #35 on: April 07, 2008, 04:46:28 PM »
No, you can't catch HIV from sucking on a woman's breast.  The only possible transmissable fluid I can think of there would be breast milk.  But even there, it would have to be with an HIV+ woman, she would have to be lactating (and HIGHLY infectious) and you would have to be, well...feeding like a baby.  I mean drinkin', man.  And even then, there are inhibitory factors in human saliva that deactivate the virus.

So again...NO.  No risk.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #36 on: April 07, 2008, 04:47:09 PM »
thanks andy - that is extremely reassuring. I googled the question and of course all sorts of nonsense came up which freaked me out big time! I suddenly panicked and went cold. I realised there must be a difference between a nursing woman and a babe and me sucking on a large boob! I just thought 2 and 2 equalled 5....oy. x

Offline thunter34

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #37 on: April 07, 2008, 04:48:20 PM »
It should be reassuring.  You just got THREE resounding "NO's" ! 

Cheers.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #38 on: April 07, 2008, 04:49:12 PM »
ps:
no she wasn't lactating or else she'd be pretty odd and i am pretty certain she isn't hiv + tho as she reassured me that aside from unprotected oral she does nothing riskier than that in her professional life. I just got anxious from web results i read!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #39 on: April 07, 2008, 09:32:08 PM »
REALITY CALLING TWT! REALITY CALLING TWT!

Stop surfing the web or otherwise I can promise you that will find even more that will cause you to worry needlessly. How about finding more productive uses for your time? Like doing something useful for others? Just a thought...
Andy Velez

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #40 on: April 12, 2008, 04:10:23 PM »
thanks andy - i am seeing my counsellor (they cost a fortune where i live!) on tuesday as have to deal with this pattern of awful anxiety and emotional confusion. Of course, the 24 hours after my last encounter this week i've been suffering with a bad cold and slight fever. I know I know...but i keep thinking the worst despite the breast sucking advice above.
your site deserves an award for sthing - probs patience!
best

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #41 on: April 12, 2008, 04:45:46 PM »
Yes, well all of the symptoms and feelings in the world don't matter in this case because you weren't at risk. Period.

Get on with your life.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #42 on: April 23, 2008, 06:45:30 AM »
Andy - just been diagnoses with prostatitis which was caused by bacterial infection - it could have been caused by anal fingering by masseuse. I didn't ask the doctor because felt embarassed to do so but assume you can't get HIV from anal fingering unless blood is pouring from the inserted finger?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #43 on: April 23, 2008, 06:54:16 AM »
You were never at risk for HIV from fingering and no one would finger anyone with a laceration of the finger.

Offline twtm2002

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mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #44 on: July 01, 2008, 04:06:35 PM »
hi andy et al - been a good boy for some time but had a lapse today. I am not freaking which is a huge step forward but wanted some clarity as i did have an incident which previously would have caused concern and high anxiety...

i ended up fingering (nothing more) a masseuse and kissing her quite hard on the lips - when we finished i noticed i had either cracked my lip kissing her or possibly some blood from her vagina had ended up on my face (tho i don't rationally believe she was bleeding..) - it wasn't a lot of blood but it was visible

i just want to know the risks associated with blood in the mouth from
a)kissing i.e. she kisses me and i kiss her and i start bleeding
b)if i did potentially ingest a small amount of her vaginal blood indirectly in my mouth as a result of fingering her, is this a risk?

ps:
i do have a very small gum boil on the inside of my mouth tho this isn't bleeding.

advice sought and then i'll disappear again

best to all

Offline Ann

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #45 on: July 01, 2008, 05:13:35 PM »
tw,

As you did not have unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, you have not had a risk for hiv infection. You should know this stuff by now.

We're not here to hold your hand every time you have a sexual experience. Perhaps it's time you sought counseling so you can learn to cope with your anxieties on your own, like adults do.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #46 on: July 03, 2008, 05:05:26 PM »
Hi Ann
I am in counselling and have made progress - hence, far far less posts on here. I just worried about having the blood after my session with this girl and wondered if i had possibly got some of her blood in my mouth - even a small amount - what the risk would be? That's all.
Otherwise, i do fully understand the risks re:vaginal/anal
best

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #47 on: July 03, 2008, 05:06:35 PM »
Getting blood in your mouth is not a risk TW. Continue with your counselling.

MtD

Offline twtm2002

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Re: mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #48 on: July 18, 2008, 12:25:24 PM »
thanks matty - i am in counselling. I just wanted to be clear why getting blood in the mouth isn't a risk?

Offline twtm2002

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mutual masturbation paranoia
« Reply #49 on: September 30, 2008, 04:37:39 PM »
Hi all - it has been a while and I've been in some intense counselling but i've lapsed into a panic which upsets and angers me!
I've seen four tantric masseuses in the last 2 months. Each one has allowed me to mutually masturbate i.e. they allow fingering of their vaginas and they touched my penis. One also used her mouth on my testicles. I've subsequently had a persistent ear ache and swollen lymph nodes around my neck. My doctor has given me penicillin for the ear infection but it is still there.
I KNOW i am probably being totally pathetic as I've not had intercourse with these women and they reassured me of their status. But, is there any relationship to otitis/lymph nodes and a persistent cold to ARS?
pls reassure - thanks

 


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