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Author Topic: The day before you found out  (Read 4197 times)

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Offline Ihavehope

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  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
The day before you found out
« on: February 13, 2007, 04:48:59 PM »
What were you doing the day before you found out you were HIV positive or landed in the hospital due to an OI?

The day before your world changed ?
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2007, 05:50:13 PM »
God... I don't even remember.

I do know that in the week leading up to it... I had gotten into a huge fight with my now ex Satan... and we had just been in the making up process. 

Hmm.

I also remember I had just met who are now my good friends Kris and Kelley right not 72 hours before diagnosis...

It's all quite blurry.  Thank you, booze! 
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline dtwpuck

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  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2007, 06:08:31 PM »
I know exactly what I was doing.  I knew what the result was going to be and I couldn't face it, so I smoked as much weed as I could, jacked off, and went to sleep.
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline Coffeechick88

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2007, 06:11:03 PM »
Hell, I don't remember.  I know I was still a little weakend from being sick, so I probably was doing a lot of sleeping.
Lucas James is here
Born 6-14-08 at 1233 am
8 lbs 14 oz, 22 in long

Offline swede_dish

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2007, 06:24:22 PM »
I cut my hair short...bleached it...then hid for 4 weeks.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #5 on: February 13, 2007, 06:40:56 PM »
I think I was out all night at the Tunnel nightclub (VIP entrance) having just flown in from a 2 week jaunt on a lake in central Maine, and consumed mass amounts of ecstasy and ketamine and danced about 12 hours, all while suffering from strep throat or the remnants thereof, so I was also mixing codeine cough syrup with all the illicit pharmaceuticals.

Oh, and I was probably wearing Gaultier since it was the early 90's.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #6 on: February 13, 2007, 06:43:18 PM »

Oh, and I was probably wearing Gaultier since it was the early 90's.

"Gaultier, darling!  Names!  Names!  Names!"

Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2007, 06:45:02 PM »
"Gaultier, darling!  Names!  Names!  Names!"



I'm a designer whore, what can I say?  You should see my wardrobe -- takes up an entire room.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline marco23

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2007, 07:04:35 PM »
Oh honey, "the last mosquito that bit me, had to be put into the Betty Ford clinic"  :D
Sorry, wrong thread...I was getting drunk and playing 80's music!
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline woodshere

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #9 on: February 13, 2007, 08:04:15 PM »
I was doing the same thing then as I am tonight.  I worked, fucked, worked somemore and fucked some more.  And you know, that is what I will be doing tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after that and....you get the picture.  I have tried rather successfully if I say so to continue to live basically the way I did prior to that day with just a few minor adjustments. 

Maybe I am just stupid or in denial.  Actually that is not the case at all, I have found with all adversity that I have had in life to accept it for what it is and go on.  It is simply a matter of outlook for me.  While being HIV+ is a big deal, it didn't change who I am or the way I live my life.  I think some people might want to try looking at in my way and move on in life rather than look at life as then and now.

Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline Ihavehope

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #10 on: February 13, 2007, 08:15:09 PM »
I was doing the same thing then as I am tonight.  I worked, fucked, worked somemore and fucked some more.  And you know, that is what I will be doing tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after that and....you get the picture.  I have tried rather successfully if I say so to continue to live basically the way I did prior to that day with just a few minor adjustments. 

Maybe I am just stupid or in denial.  Actually that is not the case at all, I have found with all adversity that I have had in life to accept it for what it is and go on.  It is simply a matter of outlook for me.  While being HIV+ is a big deal, it didn't change who I am or the way I live my life.  I think some people might want to try looking at in my way and move on in life rather than look at life as then and now.

Woods

Awesome Woods. You seem to have a good spirit and you are doing the right thing by living your life the same way. It give me inspiration to do the same.
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline cph9680

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #11 on: February 13, 2007, 08:16:38 PM »
I don't remember...It certainly wasn't thinking that the next day I'd get this!!

...Corey

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #12 on: February 13, 2007, 08:18:15 PM »
What were you doing, IHH?
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline ademas

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #13 on: February 13, 2007, 09:50:08 PM »
I haven't the foggiest.
I gave up recreational drugs about 3 weeks prior to taking the test, so it wasn't exactly the clearest 3 weeks of my life.

Offline fearless

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #14 on: February 13, 2007, 10:04:40 PM »
I remember all too clearly, I was shooting up speed in my bedroom with my best mate before going out, popping pills and partying all night. It was his last night in Aus before going back to the UK.
We got home at daybreak and he wanted to shoot up some more. We were too trashed to remember which needle was which, but after a short deliberation, knowing I'd just had pneumonia and had just been tested, he blasted away anyway.
I then remember having to break the news to him as he was about to leave for the airport.
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #15 on: February 13, 2007, 10:13:18 PM »
After a fabulous weekend with the Rainiers in Monaco playing badminton and croquet I went to Cote D'Azur for a day to sort myself out and work on my tan.  Then I jetted off to the Himalayas for a brief chat with his Holiness, the Dalai Lama, who gave me a lucky bean and read my palm.  After that I flew to L.A. for a few press interviews promoting my latest movie and 36 hours later I was at my cottage on Fire Island with a bevy of pretty boys to keep me entertained.   It was an overcast New York City Tuesday when I popped in to Dr. Krim's office for what I thought would be a quick chat.  Hilda asked me to come into her private office, opened her well-stocked bar, and asked me if I'd like a Pink Squirrel, which I accepted.  After handing me the drink she asked me to sit down.  After we were both sitting she asked "Do you think you and I can convince your family that you're Haitian?" 

I passed out and that was the last memory I've ever retained.  What was the question?

I have no idea what I was doing the day before I got my test results but offer the story above in lieu.

Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline koi1

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #16 on: February 13, 2007, 10:44:43 PM »
I was really, terribly, busy denying that I had it, but knowing that I did.


Ah, le crap!

rob
« Last Edit: February 13, 2007, 10:48:17 PM by koi1 »
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline cph9680

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #17 on: February 13, 2007, 11:45:10 PM »
LOL Boo!  Quite the life you've lead  ;D

Offline woodshere

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  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #18 on: February 14, 2007, 09:08:18 AM »
..... at my cottage on Fire Island.......

Oh, that was your place on Fire Island.  Couldn't remeber if it was yours or the leather daddies I met on the way to the Island.  Glad I finally figured that one out.

Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline ChaplinGuy

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  • Eat my left foot
Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #19 on: February 14, 2007, 09:16:38 AM »

I'll never forget it. It was a gorgeous sunny day in June, and I opened up all the doors in the house to feel the breeze, cracked open a beer and I watched the USA v. Italy World Cup match. (A thrilling game that was so full of bad ref calls that even some of the commentators said the U.S. should have won.)

I was just so blissfully unaware.

Offline DanielMark

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #20 on: February 14, 2007, 09:55:22 AM »
You want answers that I can't give; you want words I don't know.

(Just one of the many benefits of old age.)

 ;)
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Boo Radley

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    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #21 on: February 14, 2007, 10:33:41 AM »
Oh, that was your place on Fire Island.  Couldn't remeber if it was yours or the leather daddies I met on the way to the Island.  Glad I finally figured that one out.

I was one of the leather daddies -- the fat one with his ass cheeks sagging over the chaps.  We were all so loaded on X, LSD, MDA, MDMA, tina, coke, heroin, and Pez candies it's a wonder anyone remembers anything from those gloriously hedonistic days. 

I came of age at the height of the sexual revolution and all I got was this lousy virus! 

Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #22 on: February 14, 2007, 11:19:14 AM »
The day before I found out was the day I tested. I was in shock that my ex had tested positive, along with a few others I know. I got up, had a cup of coffee and read my mail, which included a letter from the local health authority saying I needed to test. I rang them up and they actually sent a taxi to bring me to the clinic. Most of the rest of that day is a blur, except for when I had to tell my partner that I'd just been tested and would know the result the next day. That's a moment I'll never forget. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.

The day before I tested - who knows. Just another day in Ignorant Bliss.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline ACinKC

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #23 on: February 14, 2007, 11:23:20 AM »
My world had already changed dramatically.  I went from being Married with 1 kid and one on the way to treatment for Sex Addiction and my Cooties Diagnosis in the matter of a couple weeks.  Ahhhhh Thanksgiving 2003, what great memories!

The day before I found out I was in treatment for Sex Addiction, 70 days of that.  Saved my life.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline racingmind

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #24 on: February 14, 2007, 01:16:55 PM »
I spent the day trying to keep busy. All the while I was worring in the back of my mind.  I kept thinking, "the world is probably going to look very different tomorrow."

I was right.

I think I knew I was destined to catch this sooner or later.  I still have a hard time dealing with the fact that I avoided it for 20 years.  It really makes me feel like a failure sometimes.
Tested Negative: 5/06
Tested Positive: 9/06 
9/06: CD4: 442 (28%) VL: +100,000
10/06: CD4: 323 (25%) VL: 243,440
11/06: CD4: 405 (28%) VL: 124,324
12/06: CD4: 450 (29%) VL: 114,600
1/07: CD4: 440 (27%) VL: 75,286
3/07: CD4: 459 (30%) VL: 44,860
5/07: CD4: 353 (24%) VL: 50,852
7/07: CD4: 437 (29%) VL: 39,475
9/07: CD4: 237 (32%) VL: 372,774
10/07: CD4: 324 (27%) VL: 115,454 
Started Atripla: 10/07
11/07: CD4: 524 (?%) VL: Undetectable!
2/08: CD4: 653 (35%) VL: undetectable
5/08: CD4: 822 (40%) VL: undetectable
8/08: CD4: 626 (35%) VL: undetectable
12/08: CD4: 619 (36%) VL: undetectable
3/09: CD4: 802 (38%) VL: undetectable
7/09: CD4: 1027 (43%) VL: not tested
10/09: CD4: 1045 (43%) VL: undetectable

Offline SoSadTooBad

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #25 on: February 17, 2007, 10:12:36 AM »
April 28th 2006 - I went to work, and was really agitated after work.  Wasn't feeling well, and was not ready to face what I thought was a possible (but remote) outcome.  Took a drive, stopped at Nathan's, ate two hot dogs, came home and went to sleep. 

April 29th 2006 - Did not sleep well, got up, threw on some clothes and went to GMHC for a rapid test.  Figured that by noon that day, I would be in the clear, and back to my normal life.  Was person #5 to be tested that day.  Waited in the waiting room, read some magazines and took the test.  Waited the half hour for the results by reading the same magazines again and then got the absolute shock of my life - positive.  So, by 11:15am, I felt like my life was over.  (Stopped at McDonald's for a small french fry and a Coke, anyway.)

The hits kept coming...

Fast forward to my doctor's office a few weeks later when he gave me the news that, yes, I was not only positive, but that my CD4 count was 136

And...  One more hit...

June 2, 2006 - Fast forward to my ID specialist's office about two weeks later after the resistance test that showed my CD4 count was now at 78.   Got the prescriptions, filled them, and the rest is history. 

Still not sure when or where I was infected...  but those were some awful days. 

Thanks for listening.

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #26 on: February 17, 2007, 10:41:20 AM »
I think I knew I was destined to catch this sooner or later.  I still have a hard time dealing with the fact that I avoided it for 20 years.  It really makes me feel like a failure sometimes.

I don't understand why so many gay men still have this feeling.  I had it in the early 80s because I'd had unprotected sex from the mid 70s until about mid-1983, before we learned about safer sex.  Why do people today believe they are destined to be infected?   I don't get it. 

Please don't misinterpret my words as a superior or judgmental tone -- it's just that 25 years down the road some people still feel doomed to be HIV+ when there is no reason to make that assumption.

Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #27 on: February 17, 2007, 12:03:56 PM »
After we were both sitting she asked "Do you think you and I can convince your family that you're Haitian?" 

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #28 on: February 17, 2007, 12:19:01 PM »
After a fabulous weekend with the Rainiers in Monaco playing badminton and croquet I went to Cote D'Azur for a day to sort myself out and work on my tan.  Then I jetted off to the Himalayas for a brief chat with his Holiness, the Dalai Lama, who gave me a lucky bean and read my palm.  After that I flew to L.A. for a few press interviews promoting my latest movie and 36 hours later I was at my cottage on Fire Island with a bevy of pretty boys to keep me entertained.   It was an overcast New York City Tuesday when I popped in to Dr. Krim's office for what I thought would be a quick chat.  Hilda asked me to come into her private office, opened her well-stocked bar, and asked me if I'd like a Pink Squirrel, which I accepted.  After handing me the drink she asked me to sit down.  After we were both sitting she asked "Do you think you and I can convince your family that you're Haitian?" 

I passed out and that was the last memory I've ever retained.  What was the question?

I have no idea what I was doing the day before I got my test results but offer the story above in lieu.

Boo


Once again Boo I catch you in a fib...everyone knows Dr. Krim only served Sidecars sans the Cointreu.

Offline JohnOso

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #29 on: February 17, 2007, 02:45:18 PM »
After a fabulous weekend with the Rainiers in Monaco playing badminton and croquet I went to Cote D'Azur for a day to sort myself out and work on my tan.  Then I jetted off to the Himalayas for a brief chat with his Holiness, the Dalai Lama, who gave me a lucky bean and read my palm.  After that I flew to L.A. for a few press interviews promoting my latest movie and 36 hours later I was at my cottage on Fire Island with a bevy of pretty boys to keep me entertained.   It was an overcast New York City Tuesday when I popped in to Dr. Krim's office for what I thought would be a quick chat.  Hilda asked me to come into her private office, opened her well-stocked bar, and asked me if I'd like a Pink Squirrel, which I accepted.  After handing me the drink she asked me to sit down.  After we were both sitting she asked "Do you think you and I can convince your family that you're Haitian?" 

I passed out and that was the last memory I've ever retained.  What was the question?

I have no idea what I was doing the day before I got my test results but offer the story above in lieu.

Boo

Boo, you had me at Pink Squirrel.

John


Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #30 on: February 17, 2007, 03:22:47 PM »
Boo's creative intellect gives me a hard on.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Ihavehope

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #31 on: February 17, 2007, 05:01:48 PM »
Let me find out Boo and Philly are flirting with one another.

Lovepoz
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #32 on: February 17, 2007, 06:03:43 PM »
Boo sends me Pink Squirrels by UPS
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2007, 11:54:25 PM »
I innocently post a profoundly heartfelt reminiscence and am vilified and laughed at behind my back!! 

Fine, make fun of a wingless fly!!  Pull my legs off since I can't take to the wind!! 

Mock me, judge me, beat me, fudge me!!  You'll never get this WAC to give up her wings!! 

See me, feel me, touch me, heal me
See me, feel me, touch me, heal me  ...  right behind you I get sliced onions

In tears of rage and betrayal,

Boo

P.S. Mr. Demille, I'm ready for my close-up.
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Pavementlion

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #34 on: February 19, 2007, 02:35:21 AM »
This is a really depressing subject.
I really wish I could relive that day for the rest of my life.

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #35 on: February 19, 2007, 12:07:44 PM »
Boo's creative intellect gives me a hard on.

Bet that's a short-lived erection...

Oh, and philly, what the UPS guy gives you is neither pink nor a squirrel but I'm too genteel to say more.

Boo

P.S.  Doxie, Hilda offered and gave me a Pink Squirrel and said she'll verify my statement in print if necessary.  Side Cars (with or sans cointreau, I'll have you know!) were offered to the lower-tier clientele.

P.P.S.  John, please keep our indiscreet past to yourself.  I have a reputation to uphold.

P.P.P.S.  Ihavehope, philly and I couldn't be a couple because we're the same person.  It would be auto-incestuous.
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Peter6836

  • Member
  • Posts: 391
  • Me and my Granddaughter Noa
Re: The day before you found out
« Reply #36 on: February 19, 2007, 01:31:29 PM »
I went to work, had been dealing with massive depression the month before. I had seen my Doctor at least twice a week the month before, went to a therapist. Some, cognitive therapist, that I ended up playing mind games with. It really was not productive, I was enjoying playing with his mind and challanging what he knew. Hell it was cognitive therapy, after years and years of therapy I probably could have conducted the session better than he did. My Doctor called me and gave me some line about my sugar being up and wanting to get my diariaha in check before I became to dehydrated. I agreed to go, I ran out payed the gas bill went to the bank packed a bag cleaned the house, called my son to drive me to the hospital and expected to be home by the end of the weekend. The next morning he hit me with the fact that my test came back positive, I was tested the year before and was negative, I was not that sexually active and thought the test would be moot, never expected this result.

 


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