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help -- still trying to cope emotionally -- ALONE feel very alone

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You are overthinking it; but, that is natual.  Try to find an outlet to help you become emotional balance.  That was alot of steam you let off and it will just circular back into  itself until you find what you really want.  That is some kind of happiness however you define.  Good luck

Hey Bimazek------you are sure not alone on these boards, but like some other folks it sure sounds like you are battling both hiv and depression and/or an anxiety disorder (raising my hand here) and that can be just about too much on anybody's plate to handle.  If you can take care of the depression----with a combination of meds and therapy then at least you get a level playing field which you don't have right now.  Maybe dealing with being a new poz is something like getting to carry a hundred pound pack on our backs---after a while you get used to the weight, and heck! sometimes forget it is even there, but dealing with being a poz and having depression--that's like getting to carry 300 lbs--enough to bring anyone to their knees.

Stay connected, you're among friends here!    Rick

Hi Bimazek

Me too..I got it at 41 years old..I met somehow my nemesis after a painful breakup...I can 't explain it to myself..I live now in Paris most of the time...Enjoying it all

Take well and exercice



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