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Author Topic: How do you know if you are being cheated on??  (Read 9790 times)

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Offline ryeguy

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How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« on: February 17, 2007, 10:52:16 AM »
Simple question: How do you know if you are being cheated on?? At this point I do not wish to elaborate on my open question. :-\

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2007, 10:56:26 AM »
if he wakes up very startled and/or disoriented it's because he's been sleeping in different beds and his mind temporarily goes haywire trying to process which bed he's in

"Where am I?!? Oh okay"
« Last Edit: February 17, 2007, 02:40:56 PM by allopathicholistic »

Offline Cliff

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2007, 11:06:14 AM »
myseterious phone calls
new friends that you have not met (or at funny around you)
gets upset if you look at his mobile or computer
takes calls in another room or quickly tells someone that he will call them back
going out more than usual
emotionally and sexually distant from you

But mostly just gut feelings.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2007, 11:09:30 AM »
Lack of honest and open communication and irregular defensiveness.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline ryeguy

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2007, 11:12:51 AM »
ok that's a start.......... maybe I am just paranoid........... :'(

Offline Basquo

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2007, 11:19:12 AM »
If he smells frsshly showered when he comes home--and you know he hasn't been to the gym.  Then again he could be cheating at the gym.

The number one clue, though, in my experience, is if he suddenly suspects that YOU'RE cheating.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2007, 11:27:32 AM »
Basquo, how true that statement is. Trying to blame someone of doing something that you yourself are doing.  Not to say you are ryeguy.

Offline dtwpuck

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2007, 11:43:45 AM »
Basquo,.. you are right on on that one..... also on the paranoia about looking at the phone and computer.

Also, unexplainable mileage on the car.
People walking up in a bar and saying "hey, did you get my message on manhunt."
Lack of intimacy together...

Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2007, 11:52:39 AM »
ROFL, you guys are sure a bunch of trusting soles. :D

Offline Cerrid

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2007, 12:58:10 PM »
Crabs...

You come home from work and the flat is tidy...

There's a new bottle of after-shave in the cupboard but it's none of your brands...

"Boredom is always counterrevolutionary. Always." (Guy Debord)

Offline DanielMark

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #10 on: February 17, 2007, 02:34:57 PM »
Well first let me say, I do hope that isn't happening to you, Ryeguy. It has happened to me and it hurts.

1. you find teeth marks in his underwear

2. he keeps buying new underwear

3. there is an angry wife pounding at your door at 3:30 in the morning

That's all I got.
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Basquo

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2007, 02:45:15 PM »
I need to chime in again and say Ryeguy, I in no way meant that my statement about suspecting cheating was aimed at you.  I meant that if he said something to you about it.  That's the way it was with my situation once. Just wanted to clarify that.


Offline ndrew

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #12 on: February 17, 2007, 02:53:36 PM »
My arthritic knee acts up when someone is cheating... hmmm... on second thought maybe that is when its gonna rain...

Drew

Offline DingoBoi

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #13 on: February 17, 2007, 03:16:44 PM »
my 'key' to knowing something is wrong is always when the sex goes bad... 

well, not bad, just more 'different' or 'infrequent' or 'uninterested'.

It's never failed me in my analysis of a relationship.

Offline Ann

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2007, 03:50:39 PM »

When he wants to try out a new position you know he doesn't have the imagination to dream up himself. ::)

Yep, happened to me.

Ann
 
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline gordonh28

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2007, 03:52:31 PM »
DanielMark......your reply to if he's cheating is great, and unfortunately so very very true. The signs are always there, you just have to be brave enough to look at them.
I love your eyes...sorry for the personal compliment that has nothing to do with the topic.
Gordonh28
Gordonh28 ( Al )

I have been in St Pete, Fl. for 9 years.
Moved here from Miami, I lived there for 12 years. (Diagnosed in 1995)

Labs
02/28/2008 VL>25    CD4>837 CD4%>37
05/08/2008 VL>25    CD4>875 CD4%>35
08/26/2008 VL>25    CD4>578 CD4%>38
11/04/2008 VL>25    CD4>879 CD4%>34
02/24/2009 VL>25    CD4>833 CD4%>36
05/04/2009 VL>25    CD4>762 CD4%>37
08/25/2009 VL>25    CD4>823 CD4%>37
10/21/2009 VL>25    CD4>1025 CD4%>34
03/13/2010 Vl>25     CD4>745  CD4%>34
04/06/2010 VL>25    CD4>877  CD4%>35
Norvir/Comb/Lexiva

Offline DanielMark

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #16 on: February 17, 2007, 04:53:00 PM »
Liars and cheaters should be rounded up, soaked in honey and sent to live in a forest of hungry bears and killer bees. They are selfishness personified. I demand they leave the planet at once!




MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2007, 04:56:43 PM »
Liars and cheaters should be rounded up, soaked in honey and sent to live in a forest of hungry bears and killer bees. They are selfishness personified. I demand they leave the planet at once!

LOL it might "prune" these forums too

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2007, 04:56:54 PM »
He gets paranoid that your cheating on him

He goes to the bathroom to talk on the phone with the water running

He is quick to deny any and all accusations that hes cheating on you and acts upset that you ask

Goes on vacation with his best friend because he knows you cant because of school/work and when he comes back he has no photos or no videos of his vacation (and he always takes pictures)

Your gut tells you so :-D (although some people are just naturally paranoid and their gut tells them that in any relationship but in my case thats not the way it is hehe)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Sdgirl

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #19 on: February 18, 2007, 11:20:24 AM »
TRUST YOUR GUT!  It will NEVER steer you wrong. Don't ignore your own instinct that is telling you something is wrong....remember, first the voice whispers, when you don't listen to that, it will tap you on the shoulder, when that doesn't work, it will slap you upside your head.........don't wait until that happens
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves.."Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?"

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #20 on: February 18, 2007, 11:40:44 AM »
Very, very true, SD.

But sometimes we're just not ready and willing to know. (sigh at remembering)

Even when the evidence includes everything but bloody footprints to the door or the equivalent of same. 
« Last Edit: February 18, 2007, 12:04:15 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline AustinWesley

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #21 on: February 18, 2007, 11:49:03 AM »
Basquo,.. you are right on on that one..... also on the paranoia about looking at the phone and computer.

Also, unexplainable mileage on the car.
People walking up in a bar and saying "hey, did you get my message on manhunt."
Lack of intimacy together...



OMG!   That's for sure!   You know if their loggin into gay.com to "talk" to friends that ain't true.   I pick up the phone and call my friends so I don't buy that one.

A common thread in my life I've noticed with the cheaters are the ones who accuse you of cheating when you are not and obsess about it.   My experience says this is transferrence of guilt ; )   Not to mention it's fucking anoying and the reason I dumped one guy.

The other one is the "business trips".   Not, the usual stuff, but those sudden new career opportuniites that show up out of the blue.  Especially when the traveling constitutes a hotel in your own city. 

Diag. 3/06  Infected aprx. 2 mo. Prior
Date        CD4   %      VL
4/6/06     627    32    36,500     NO MEDS YET!
6/7/06     409    27    36,100
8/23/06   408    25     22,300
1/2/07     354    23     28,700
2/9/07     139    30     23,000  Hep A Vaccine same day???
2/21/07   274    26     18,500 
3/3/07    RX of Truvada/Sustiva Started.
4/5/07    321     27      Undectable 1st mo.  
5/16/07  383     28    Undectable 2nd mo.
8/10/07  422     32   UD <48 on new scale!

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #22 on: February 18, 2007, 12:12:06 PM »
I have one close friend who has had a long string of boyfriends that I can always tell are cheating on him and he can NEVER wake up and smell the coffee.  It's like he has sign on his back that says "Kick Me!" and doesn't know it.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Ihavehope

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #23 on: February 18, 2007, 12:44:46 PM »
I could always tell when they take way too many showers or when they are way too happy. lolz.
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2007, 12:59:19 PM »
Really?  All my boyfriends showered a lot and seemed happy.  You mean that they weren't doing this for me?

I guess Dingo was right... I *AM* dumb.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline dtwpuck

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2007, 01:07:34 PM »
OMG!   That's for sure!   You know if their loggin into gay.com to "talk" to friends that ain't true.   I pick up the phone and call my friends so I don't buy that one.

A common thread in my life I've noticed with the cheaters are the ones who accuse you of cheating when you are not and obsess about it.   My experience says this is transferrence of guilt ; )   Not to mention it's fucking anoying and the reason I dumped one guy.

The other one is the "business trips".   Not, the usual stuff, but those sudden new career opportuniites that show up out of the blue.  Especially when the traveling constitutes a hotel in your own city. 



Or how about people you'd previously never met who somehow know where you live.

I always knew when the bed was made when I got home. 
Oh, there's that and the fact that his tricks PM'ed me once in a while to tell me how hot my bf was.  Love that.

Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #26 on: February 18, 2007, 01:11:38 PM »
Odd that nobody here seems to admit to being a cheater themselves.  It's like a group of gay Mother Teresa's.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #27 on: February 18, 2007, 01:13:45 PM »
How do you know?  Two words: pubic lice.

Ewwwwwwwwww!!

Boo

P.S. philly, I cheated on my bf but only after he cheated on me... Mother Teresa I ain't.
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #28 on: February 18, 2007, 01:15:49 PM »
I was so bad to a partner that the next morning I found a pistol in the dresser drawer.

Mind you, this was 20 years ago.  It was kind of scary.

Did I mention it was a drunken foray with my best friend's boyfriend too?  So I had two people about to kill me.  It was just so fucking messy.  Alas, I could blame alcohol... and frankly it was the other guy who came on to me and not vice versa.  And it was just a blow job, and I received and did not give!  I can totally claim the Clinton Defense on this one.

The whole thing still causes my stomach to get upset.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2007, 01:18:47 PM by philly267 »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline FiercenBed

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #29 on: February 18, 2007, 01:17:13 PM »
dude.....if u think itz going on; itz going on!

Offline poodlelover

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #30 on: February 18, 2007, 01:17:59 PM »
When your significant other or spouse comes home without his socks on and doesn't know why.  Then later you find them stuffed under the seat of his car (dried and stiff)  because he was too cheap to spring for a hotel and apparently didn't have any paper towels in his car.
Connie

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #31 on: February 18, 2007, 01:21:38 PM »
When your significant other or spouse comes home without his socks on and doesn't know why.  Then later you find them stuffed under the seat of his car (dried and stiff)  because he was too cheap to spring for a hotel and apparently didn't have any paper towels in his car.

LMAO!!! dried 'n' stiff!!  :o  :D  :P  :D

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #32 on: February 18, 2007, 01:22:35 PM »
I can only recall one boyfriend that I became utterly convinced he was cheating on me, and I called him out on it and he broke down and admitted it all.  It was kind of long ago so I can't give any great advice... I just can spot a liar.

And you know, it's not the cheating itself that bothers me.  It's the lies.  I don't really care if they fuck up once or twice and come crawling back to me... and to be honest I generally even state this upfront with people I date when the monogamy subject comes up.  I'm pretty realistic about this stuff.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Cliff

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2007, 01:26:10 PM »
When your significant other or spouse comes home without his socks on and doesn't know why.  Then later you find them stuffed under the seat of his car (dried and stiff)  because he was too cheap to spring for a hotel and apparently didn't have any paper towels in his car.
LOL.  Him not knowing why he doesn't have any socks on was enough for me.  But to then find the pair later, in that state.  Whoa!

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #34 on: February 18, 2007, 01:35:41 PM »
When your significant other or spouse comes home without his socks on and doesn't know why.  Then later you find them stuffed under the seat of his car (dried and stiff)  because he was too cheap to spring for a hotel and apparently didn't have any paper towels in his car.

I bet one of those lurkers from CBS uses this in a future episode of CSI:NY.  I can even see more of the story line as the socks are brought into the lab for DNA testing.   The DNA on the right sock is that of the CSI character's bf/spouse/whatever.  The DNA on the left sock is someone else's and the clock starts ticking for them to match the DNA with the identity of the ejaculator.   

Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write © 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline woodshere

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #35 on: February 18, 2007, 03:47:38 PM »
You catch them eating out at your favorite restaurant.
You walk in on them at your home.
When you answer the phone and the other party hangs up
You find a stash of cards and gifts
He suddenly takes an interest in activities he never has in the five years you have been together
He calls out someone elses name at the point of orgasm.
He gets STD and its not from you.

All happened to me.

Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Online Miss Philicia

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #36 on: February 18, 2007, 03:49:32 PM »
You catch them eating out at your favorite restaurant.
You walk in on them at your home.
When you answer the phone and the other party hangs up
You find a stash of cards and gifts
He suddenly takes an interest in activities he never has in the five years you have been together
He calls out someone elses name at the point of orgasm.
He gets STD and its not from you.

All happened to me.

Woods

Really?  All of that?  How absolutely mortifying.  Please tell me this wasn't the same guy each time.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Life

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #37 on: February 18, 2007, 03:54:48 PM »
I dont know, but man... I think I will stay tucked away in the mountains away from all this stuff....  Isolationist type thinking I know.. A committment means something to some....

This is like a gay nightmare....  ;)

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #38 on: February 18, 2007, 03:54:57 PM »
Well, I'm a old "unwilling monogamist" from way back... as in... I have cheated before.

But I'll use my powers for good instead of evil this time... here's what I did.

Went out "by myself."
Wanted to be "by myself."
New friends who never met the boyfriend.
I would make up really strange stories as to where I was... nothing fantastical... but weird... and yet believable.
Sudden outbursts of temper.
The sex with the boyfriend dropped off.
And look for new friends on the Myspace profile!
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #39 on: February 18, 2007, 04:05:38 PM »
ryeguy, play this one for him when he walks thru the door.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUWzISEzIm8

Offline ndrew

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #40 on: February 18, 2007, 04:25:34 PM »
God, this all makes me paranoid and I'm single  :-\

Drew

Offline Jeffreyj

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #41 on: February 18, 2007, 05:35:10 PM »
Your gut tells you.
Positive since 1985

Offline cubbybear

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #42 on: February 18, 2007, 09:55:00 PM »
Cum stains on his undies LOL!

Seriously though, you will know if he is cheating.  You'll just know.  But if you go all private detective on his ass, remember you may find things you wish you didn't.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2007, 09:56:41 PM by cubbybear »
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #43 on: February 18, 2007, 10:05:55 PM »


  You find condoms in their purse and the two of you don't use condoms...  and when you find them they just give you that stupid look like they've seen a ghost or something.

  You can substitute purse with wallet I guess....
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline dtwpuck

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #44 on: February 18, 2007, 10:11:47 PM »


And you know, it's not the cheating itself that bothers me.  It's the lies. 
I'm totally with you on this one.
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #45 on: February 18, 2007, 10:13:10 PM »
But if you go all private detective on his ass, remember you may find things you wish you didn't.

man i live for that kinda sh!t  :D

Offline Coffeechick88

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #46 on: February 19, 2007, 09:02:49 AM »
I have been the cheater before.  I remember there were times I felt guilty and would do special things for the guy--take him out, buy him gifts for no apparent reason, that kind of thing.  I also got really paranoid by the sneaking around and looking, back, I realize I was overly defensive--when he finally started getting suspicous and asking questions.  There was the lying and that is one thing that makes me amazing I got away with it so long--I'm a terrible liar--over the phone it is possible, but you bring me face to face and my body language and face and tone gives it away.  I remember once going to meet the guy and I think I actually told my boyfriend that I had to go do my taxes---and I was gone for several hours and it was later in the day and my taxes aren't THAT complicated.  I'm not a good cheater, I guess.  Maybe it was a subconcious thing that I wanted to get caught--that particular relationship had run its course, but I couldn't get up the courage to actually break up with him--let's just say when he found out,  he was more than happy to do that for me!

But I would think your gut just tells you unless you are one of those overly paranoid types who read too much into everything.  People always give themselves away and lies do catch up.
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Offline ARMANDO

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #47 on: February 19, 2007, 09:12:06 AM »
I HAVE NOTICED IN ALL MY EXPERIENCE THAT ONE THING IS COMMOM WITH A PERSON WHO IS CHEATING.THEY HAVE A TENDENCY TO ACCUSE YOU OF CHEATING ,OF LOOKING AT OTHER GUYS ALL THE TIME.THEY FIGURE THAT IF THEY ARE CHEATING THAT YOU MUST BE AS WELL!!THERE ARE OTHER SIGNS TOO BUT I'M SURE YOU WILL SEE THESE ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS.

Offline woodshere

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #48 on: February 19, 2007, 09:25:50 AM »
Really?  All of that?  How absolutely mortifying.  Please tell me this wasn't the same guy each time.

All the same guy.  Can you say co-dependent or just plain fucking dumb!

Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline ACinKC

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Re: How do you know if you are being cheated on??
« Reply #49 on: February 19, 2007, 09:53:05 AM »
TRUST YOUR GUT!  It will NEVER steer you wrong. Don't ignore your own instinct that is telling you something is wrong....remember, first the voice whispers, when you don't listen to that, it will tap you on the shoulder, when that doesn't work, it will slap you upside your head.........don't wait until that happens

HELL YES!  She is back, however briefly!

SWEEEEEEEET!

Ok done being giddy.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

 


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