Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
December 22, 2014, 03:28:43 AM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 650137
  • Total Topics: 49629
  • Online Today: 180
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 5
Guests: 128
Total: 133

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: worried.. need reassurance.  (Read 2903 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline mogambo

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
worried.. need reassurance.
« on: February 11, 2007, 06:56:01 AM »
hello all you lovely and helpful people.

I had posted about 2 yrs ago, becuase of what I thought was a risky encounter and everyone here was so caring and loving, that it really helped me get through that horrible period of worrying.

Anyways, I'm back, and stupid as ever :)

I'm a 24/m and basically this is what happened. I hadn't had sex in over 2 years, and lets just say i was getting a bit frustrated. So one night, after having a few too many drinks, one of my friends decided to take me to a brothel here in India. Now, I do not know what I was thinking, but I went in anyways.

I wore one condom, and proceeded to receive oral from the prostitue, after which she put on another condom over the existing one and we had intercourse.. for maybe 10 mins or so.. i kept pulling out to check if it was broken coz i was very paranoid.. eventually i decided to stop, and she took off one of the condoms, and gave me oral after which i "manually" jerked myself off while the condom was still on. I then took it off, washed up quickly and went home.

Now, as far as I know, there was definitely no breakage.. but I have always known that 2 condoms is risky coz they can easily break because of the friction.. but as far as I know, neither of them broke.

The other problem i have, is I have panic attacks/anxiety, so I am really worried about this. I conjure up all the horrific thoughts, thinking that maybe there were minute pore like holes caused by the friction of the 2 condoms.. which could lead to an infection. It was a stupid thing to do, but now i'm living in a worried well. All my friends say, that I wore a condom, so I was protected.. but I'm worried about that maybe there were small holes, or if some fluids seeped in through the ring somehow..

Anyways, that's what happened.. and I know in my mind I should be ok, but am still worried since I put myself at risk. Either that, or the 2 condoms actually gave me 2x protection? I am cirumsized as well, which I hear reduces risk. It's been almost 2 1/2 weeks since the incident. I don't really feel symptoms, but since i worry a lot, i get scared that i might feel a flu coming on and then it's a downward spiral from there! Hypochondriacs should not go to prostitutes!! :)

So, any comments would be great.

Thanks

Mog

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2007, 07:51:33 AM »
Mog,

Relax, you didn't have a risk. It is true that two condoms used at the same time will increase the risk of breakage, but yours didn't. When a condom breaks it is very obvious. Forget about tiny holes, it doesn't happen. Think of popping a balloon - a broken condom is similar. It's very obvious.

Please read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

You didn't have a risk and you do not need to test over this specific incident.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mogambo

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2007, 08:07:01 AM »
Hey Ann :)

Thanks for your reply. I checked out the links, v helpful.

however, she put the condom on me, so I was assuming she knew what she was doing. I've had condoms break on me before (the reason for my freak out 2 yrs ago) so I know what it feels like..

So, you sure i'm ok? I just need to let this one go... it's not doing me any good. Also, I got into a bad car accident 2 nights ago (thankfully no one was injured) and i'm still shaken up from that.. so the stress of that plus this is enough to already have this year off to a bad start for me! It sucks being scared.

I just want to be happy again, without worrying about this. And Ann, people like you and others on this forum really help put me at ease. I know it is annoying to keep repeating things over again, but reassurances do a world of good.

Thanks again, and hope you have a beautiful day.

Mog

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,387
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2007, 09:51:26 AM »
You weren't at risk for HIV in this situation other than the potential for doubling condoms to cause breakage. Avoid that in the future if you choose to have intercourse. A single latex condom will provide very effective protection against HIV transmission.

Also to be avoided is having casual sex when you have been drinking excessively. It's a dangerous combination that clouds your ability to think clearly about safer sex.

Sexuality is a natural part of life. You can enjoy it when you like and with whomever you choose to be with. Just always do it the safer way, which means a condom everytime when having intercourse.

If you find you are still anxious about this incident and about sex in general then I suggest you see a therapist or other professional to talk about the emotional aspects of your concerns. Life is too short at best to spend worrying unnecessarily.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline mogambo

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2007, 10:03:50 AM »
Hey Andy,

Thanks for the reply. Very very good advice that I will most definitely heed.

So, even though I wore 2 condoms which was risky, you still think it should be fine?

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2007, 10:17:41 AM »
mogambo,

I'm sure you are fine. As we have said, a broken condom is obvious and you would have known if they had broken. You were protected, no doubt in my mind.

Instead of thinking this year is getting off on a bad start, why not flip that around? You had protected intercourse and the condom did not break. That's good news. You were in a serious car accident, but escaped unhurt - that's excellent news! Your year has gotten off to a very lucky start.

You did not have a risk. Keep using those condoms correctly every time, and you will continue to avoid hiv infection.

Ann


Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mogambo

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2007, 03:59:46 AM »
Hi Guys,

So i've been trying to deal with things since the incident and I was doing ok.. uptil now... it's been about 4 weeks since the incident and i've come down with a cold.. sore throat.. stuffy nose.. and it's freaking me out. I had my fingers crossed since the incident hoping i don't fall sick for at least a couple of months so i could rule out ARS.. but now i am really worried.. can these ARS show up almost exactly one month after the incident or is it like 2 weeks after the incident?

i know i was wearing a condom.. geez i was even wearing 2 without any breakage.. but i can't help but think some secretions might have crept in through the sides of the condom or something.. it's just freaking me out now with this cold i've got...

please.. any help would be appreciated.

- mog (aka WW)

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,387
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2007, 09:30:48 AM »
Creeping, shmeeping. If your condoms have failed in any way you would have known it. When they break it's not a subtle event like a teeny tiny hole or fluids somehow slipping down into the condom.

That's just stuff your head is coming up with. You were protected. And you also seem to have gotten a cold or something like it. The condom still protected you.

Right now your mind seems to be going to town about everything that happens or doesn't happen to you physically as yet another SIGN of HIV. Of course there's no basis in HIV science, but fears don't pay attention to that.

Fears are feelings. They aren't facts. Wearing a condom during intercourse is a fact. They do a very effective job of providing protection against HIV.

If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor. And if you can't let go of this unwarranted fear then get an HIV test at 13 weeks and collect the inevitable negative result.

This is not an HIV situation no matter what your head is telling you otherwise. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline mogambo

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #8 on: February 25, 2007, 07:33:24 AM »
Thanks Andy. I hope to god you're right!

It's just that it's been about 4 weeks (or a month) since the incident, and when I got a sore throat and had that icky sick feeling.. plus tiredness it just made me feel a lot worse.. thinking it could be HIV related. And lots of people said their symptoms were very mild, if any. My cold like symptoms have pretty much gone now.. it was only prevelant for a day pretty much.. and I hope they didn't mean anything. And i know symptoms don't mean anything, but the timing and coincidence of it is really freaking me out.

Although, I remember at one point during the intercourse I pulled out to check the state of the condom, and the ring had slipped almost halfway down my penis shaft. Does this in any way deter it's effectiveness? Or am i safe?

Also, lastly, thanks for all your help and i'm sorry to keep banging on about this. As you said, it's all from fear. But right now i'm really far away from home in a new town with no one to talk to.. my psych is back home, so in the meantime this really helps.. so thanks for bearing with this WW.

Thanks

Mog

Offline mogambo

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #9 on: February 26, 2007, 02:27:42 AM »
also, regarding the ars i had a question..

the people that DO experience symptoms... are they consistent? What I mean is, do people get fever as well as soreness fatigue and diarrhea all at once? Because, I have a cold.. stuffy nose.. sore throat.. tiredness.. but no real fever (i had some night sweats and felt a bit warm but dont think it was a high fever) and i havent felt any diarrhea, swollen glands or soreness.. So, if it were indeed ars, would I have felt all of the symptoms at once instead of just one or two?

the only reason it's freaking me out is because is happened bang right after 4 weeks. I'm really scared..

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #10 on: February 26, 2007, 07:19:50 AM »
mogambo,

It sounds like you have a cold. If it worries you, see your doctor.

You had protected intercourse, which is not a risk for hiv infection. Condoms have been proven to be very effective when it comes to preventing hiv transmission.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mogambo

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #11 on: February 27, 2007, 03:09:12 AM »
Hi Ann,

Thanks for the reply. The cold isn't what worries me.. HIV is what is worrying me... my cold symptoms seems to have gone.. and i feel better now.

But i'm still really scared.. i read somewhere that over 50% of sex workers in India are poz.. which is a scary statistic.. plus i was reading through some of the forums here and there were people who claimed to have used protection and were still infected.

Thing that worries me is.. i remember i went kind of soft during intercourse, and she gave me oral to make me erect again.. but while i was soft i am worried the condom might not have been effective as it would have been looser around my penis.

Thing is... i'm really scared to get tested.. and even if i were to get tested i would still have to wait another 8 weeks.. and i just can't seem to get my head around it.. i have buddies of mine who visit the same brothels multiple times and always use condoms and dont worry about it.. and here I am in the same situation but totally freaked out. I know it's all guilt, fear and anxiety.. and you guys have helped a lot and there's nothing you can say that hasn't already been said. But i just want to get over this and move on with my life.

Your reassurances and positive vibes help a lot.. please keep them coming.

Thanks

Mog

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,387
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #12 on: February 27, 2007, 08:01:02 AM »
You don't like the thoughts and the feelings you're having. And I can tell you that nothing makes thoughts you don't like stick more than trying to push them away.

iWe've told you what we can tell you. You weren't at risk for HIV. HIV didn't sneak into your condom and infect you.

Go ahead and get tested if you must and collect the inevitable negative result.

In the meantime stay productively busy and the waiting time will pass more quickly than you can imagine.

This is NOT an HIV situation. Period. 
Andy Velez

Offline mogambo

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: worried.. need reassurance.
« Reply #13 on: February 27, 2007, 01:48:19 PM »
Hey Andy,

Thanks for all the good vibes you guys have been sending me. It is all irrationality based in fear and guilt.. i am feeling better now by telling myself I played it as safe as i possibly could have.. (well i could have been safer by using only one condom instead of two, but since neither broke.. its all good)

I just wanted to say that this site is a godsend, and all of you guys.. Ann, Andy.. everyone.. have been really helpful to me.

I'm gonna try and move on and block this out.. coz as you guys said.. no risk.. but sometimes fear can be like a deep and warm cave that once you're in you don't want to come out of!

So, I'm going to try my best to move on and forget.. but if i do relapse and come back.. i know you guys are there to support me.. which means the world to me.

If you guys ever need anything, please don' hesititate to PM me.. oh.. and Ann... you write amazingly!!  ;D

All the best and much love.

Mog

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.