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Author Topic: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info  (Read 1442 times)

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Offline JMS

  • member
  • Posts: 2
I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« on: February 10, 2007, 11:39:03 AM »
 :-\ hello will like to know how I can give information to my BF, I need to know the DO and Do Not in this kind of relationship, I need help please

Offline JMS

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2007, 11:47:44 AM »
hello


Offline AustinWesley

  • Member
  • Posts: 815
    • HIV Discussion Group on Myspace!
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2007, 12:04:22 PM »
Hey J,

I've been in one relationship like this.   Do you have a good HIV doctor who's candid?   I would suggest you and your partner go to speak with your physician to get the specifics.   

That was what worked best for my former partner and I.   Clearly, there are some things which are safer than others.   This is a pretty open and candid forumn so if you have specific questions ask away.

I understand the anxiety you must have.   

I'm wondering if perhaps the moderators here can direct you to some useful information as well.

Wesley
Diag. 3/06  Infected aprx. 2 mo. Prior
Date        CD4   %      VL
4/6/06     627    32    36,500     NO MEDS YET!
6/7/06     409    27    36,100
8/23/06   408    25     22,300
1/2/07     354    23     28,700
2/9/07     139    30     23,000  Hep A Vaccine same day???
2/21/07   274    26     18,500 
3/3/07    RX of Truvada/Sustiva Started.
4/5/07    321     27      Undectable 1st mo.  
5/16/07  383     28    Undectable 2nd mo.
8/10/07  422     32   UD <48 on new scale!

Offline bravebuddharich

  • Member
  • Posts: 179
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2007, 03:49:09 PM »
I was in a five year relationship with a negative partner (boyfriend). To the best of my knowledge, he is still negative, hooray!! We tried hard not to get too carried away, to always have me wear condoms. We had an exclusive relationship (no sex outside of it), which I think helped alot, too. Looking back, maybe a few things, such as rimming, might have been a mistake, but more for other reasons, not HIV. I don't know where you live, but where I live there are support groups for Poz/Neg couples. We had a very satisfying sex life for five years; maybe a bit more cautious than I would have been with another poz guy (my relationships with other poz guys have been much shorter in duration, so it's hard to know for sure). Hope this helps some - communication is the key!

Rich from Boston

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2007, 03:49:38 PM »
Echoing Wesley,  there's lot's of information in threads here from our past discussions, so if you can start with those, you should get a good sense of where we are coming from... and don't be surprised if we differ from each other on what is safe and why. :)  Certainly any questions and more details you can give us, such as when did you become positive and were you with your current b.f. or did he come in afterwards will help us help you.  Best, Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline AustinWesley

  • Member
  • Posts: 815
    • HIV Discussion Group on Myspace!
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2007, 05:07:01 PM »
There weren't any support groups in my area for this, but we did find one on Myspace.   There should be plenty of other couples on here who can give you advice as well.  Some of the things may fall under the serosorting topics, or at least you might be able to locate others.

Trying not to be graphic, my doctor advised us to use condoms when engaging in anal intercourse, but he pretty much felt anything else goes.   There's no evidence that oral sex has led to infection.   

Ironically, the one issue which my ex was worried about was tooth brushing before kissing.  Go figure!  Anyways, my doc didn't think that was really worth worrying about much.

I have to say both of us were shocked when the doctor asked our sexual preferences, top, bottom, vers. etc. ; )  He also stated we were part of a "growing minority."   Being the rebel I am that was right up my alley ;)

Oy, well I don't want to get into my own private life here.   One thing I can tell you is that of all the couples I've met each seem to figure out what level of safer sex they are comfortable with.

It took a little figuring out, but honestly if you guys are in an open and honest relationship I see no reason why you can't have a completely satisfying sex life.

If you have something more detailed you want my opinion on feel free to PM me.   And, I'm sure there are a lot of others here as well who could give you some tips and insight ;)
Diag. 3/06  Infected aprx. 2 mo. Prior
Date        CD4   %      VL
4/6/06     627    32    36,500     NO MEDS YET!
6/7/06     409    27    36,100
8/23/06   408    25     22,300
1/2/07     354    23     28,700
2/9/07     139    30     23,000  Hep A Vaccine same day???
2/21/07   274    26     18,500 
3/3/07    RX of Truvada/Sustiva Started.
4/5/07    321     27      Undectable 1st mo.  
5/16/07  383     28    Undectable 2nd mo.
8/10/07  422     32   UD <48 on new scale!

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2007, 05:27:33 PM »
I had a ten-year partnership with a Neg man who still is.

I'm currently in a long term relationship with another.

I'm with Win. More detail would be good if you're looking for feedback.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,162
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2007, 06:01:20 PM »


As of this coming July my partner and I will be together 27 years. 22 of those years with me being HIV positive. He is HIV negative. I also intend on keeping him that way. You learn through the years to communicate with each other, and you understand each others needs. We have also become very creative ( sexually ) throughout the years. Believe me, we know each other very well !! There were also  some difficult times through some of those years, especially when I became infected back in 1985, and also back in 2002-2003. Other issues put a damper on things. But once again, we communicated, and we worked through the issues. There is only safer sex.

Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline Jeff64

  • Member
  • Posts: 255
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2007, 09:54:46 PM »
Hi,
I have been in a realtionship for 17 years and we just keep on living life...of course we play safe....aside from that there have been no issues at all!

Jeff

Offline Seven

  • Member
  • Posts: 108
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #9 on: February 11, 2007, 01:43:01 AM »
Three years for myself (poz/female) and my bf (neg/male...LOL)
Np with us. Ask any questions you like here. That was something I was wondering when I first joined as well. It's more common then I thought, but there aren't to many people to talk about this with, other then people who are going thru the same things you are. I hope you find what you are looking for here.

Welcome to the board ;)
« Last Edit: February 11, 2007, 01:44:32 AM by Seven »

Offline rick21007

  • Member
  • Posts: 286
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #10 on: February 11, 2007, 09:27:31 AM »
Hi gang!  I may as well bring this up here as it seems to be related to JMS's question and it is an issue--my issue, that I don't seem to be getting past.

Despite my husband's reassurances I feel a lot of guilt about bringing hiv into our relationship with the result being we cannot have sex without his having to wear a condom.  I feel like I have deprived him of ever being able to have sex that is totally satisfying.  Maybe this is just projection on my part, or at least partly so.  At least I am willing to admit it is more a problem in my own head but it would be helpful to hear some comments, one way or the other.  Anyway this seems to be clearly my issue, not my husband's at this point.

Ha! just reading what I wrote I see I don't have to make it his issue either, but it still would be helpful to hear comments.

Rick

Offline bravebuddharich

  • Member
  • Posts: 179
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #11 on: February 11, 2007, 10:54:35 AM »
Here's the truth from my perspective: sex is simply better WITHOUT condoms! It feels better, more natural, and more connected, intense and emotionally satisfying - yet... I find that when I love someone, as I did Jim, wearing a condom is something I want to do because I love him so much. For me, it's more difficult to not carried away sexually with more casual sex partners (I would love to be "pure" and hold out for a relationship, but I'm concerned that it never seems to happen, and I dont' like celibacy at all). Some guys like condoms, though, and there are such high prices to pay for NOT wearing them these days - unfair, yes, but true.

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: I am Poz my BF is Negative, Any info
« Reply #12 on: February 11, 2007, 05:57:44 PM »
Rick,  if it's your issue, it's his issue because you are a couple.  I think it would be great to bring this up into it's own thread so that we can see what suggestions/advice we can come up with for your and your partner's specifics without sidetracking from this thread.  Best, Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

 


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