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Author Topic: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??  (Read 2808 times)

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Offline veryworriedfather

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Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« on: December 22, 2009, 11:32:40 AM »
Hi Andy, Ann, Rapid,

Hope all is well with you guys, and thanks very much in anticipation of an answer.

I am extremely worried about one encounter I had on November 10th. It was an Asian massage parlor and couple of things are really bothering me. I started off having a protected blow job, but it was vigorous. After finishing, the lady cleaned me up with what seemed like rubbing alcohol and a paper towel. She was not really gentle and it burned a little bit (I am uncircumcised). Didn't think much of it, then went for penetration for about 10 seconds, changed my mind and opted for another blow job. She then took the condom off and at this point had her own vaginal secretions on here hand from the outside of the condom. She put on a new condom without cleaning her hands and proceeded with the blow job which was even more vigorous. I finished, she cleaned again with rubbing alcohol(i think) and I was off, with a bruised penis. I have been here before so didn't think much of it, until on Nov 28th, my wife started feeling a little sick. She then complained of swollen glands behind the ear and some on the side of the head. They were small and went away after 4-5 days. If she didn't have any symptoms, I would have been OK, but now i started flipping out. My questions may seem stupid, but I had to run it by you guys, so sorry in advance:
1. What if she was just an evil person, and had blood mixed in the alcohol bottle and was purposely infecting me, cause she seemed to love putting that liquid on my bare penis, and it burned. Did I have a chance in case she had pos blood in the bottle?
2. From taking the condom off after brief penetration, could there be a chance she got fluids on my penis, and since i am uncircumcised, could I be more at danger having her hand touch my foreskin?
3. I have not had any symptoms at all, but wife has had those glands, and she never had them before? Its bothering me that it is in the window time for ARS, but she had only that symptom, didn't really get any fever etc.
Thanks in anticipation of an answer, sorry to bother you guys, I really really appreciate you taking the time out as always :-)

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2009, 11:59:59 AM »
At no time were you ever at risk of contacting HIV.

Offline veryworriedfather

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Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2009, 12:11:42 PM »
Thanks for the rapid reply Rod, even if the liquid had blood exposure in it....right?

Offline veryworriedfather

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Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2009, 12:32:30 PM »
and finally, does circumcission make a diference in this exposure......thanks again, really really appreciate it ...

Offline veryworriedfather

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Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2009, 01:26:12 PM »
Dear Andy, Ann, would really appreciate it if you guys could have a look at this question....ank you v v much

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2009, 03:33:39 PM »
The bottom line is that as far as I am concerned I would say you are worrying needlessly about HIV. No matter how rough the blowjob was, no matter what bodily secretions were on the woman's hands and those details you have thrown into the mix, that is not how HIV is transmitted.

If I read your report correctly, you had about 10 seconds of unprotected intercourse. Technically that would constitute a risk but if so, only of the most minor, minor sort. And one that I would not constitute enough of risk to warrant testing for HIV. The symptoms you are in your anxious state to infection are not in anyway HIV-specific and ARS would not be occuring so quickly after a REAL risk. Which I again say you did not have a real risk.

The ONLY reason for you to have an HIV test would be for your peace of mind and I would certainly expect you to test negative.

What this really looks to me to be about is a heavy dose of post-straying panic and guilt. You did what you did and you can't undo that. The best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to accept what happened, take a breath and let it go.

This is NOT an HIV situation. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline veryworriedfather

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Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2009, 04:09:03 PM »
Thanks so much Andy. BTW, the intercourse was protected. I was worried about the condom change when she would have her own secretions on her hand.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2009, 04:39:03 PM »
OK. That clarification about the intercourse being protected means you had no risk and there is no need for HIV testing.

There's no need for further concerns so just get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline veryworriedfather

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Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2009, 04:55:21 PM »
Thank u sir, for your time  :)

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2009, 05:11:08 PM »
You're welcome.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline veryworriedfather

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Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2009, 08:39:19 AM »
Hi guys,
Thanks a lot for your help earlier. This keeps getting worse for me. Although the risk was low, and I do not have any symptoms, now my wife has a second symptom. I wanted to ask you guys because it seems that this is the only place to get a proper answer. She has also been complaining of numbness in her toes. Could this be peripheral neuropathy? The symtoms seem that way, numbness in the toes, both of them. My question is that could I have overlookd something, get exposed in anyway, because this symptom now is too specific. Also could peripheral neuropathy show up during ARS/seroconversion?
Thanks in anticipation, REALLY worried at this point, would love to see any input form the experts...thanks a lot.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2009, 09:01:20 AM »
Worried,

Why would your wife have hiv related PN when 1- it's normally caused by hiv meds, not hiv itself and 2- you haven't been at risk for hiv infection.

Instead of fretting about something you could not possibly have, why don't you take your wife to a doctor to find out what's actually going on?

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline veryworriedfather

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  • Posts: 10
Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2009, 09:18:13 AM »
Thanks for your reply, did not expect a warning there. This will be my past post becasue I certainly do not want to get banned and I am sorry to have bothered. On the body.com, it said that 8% of people could have PN as a ARS symptom, and thats supposed to be a reliable site, thus i asked the question. My point is that it does happen, and I jsut saw that and got very worried. I am aware that you guys have a lot of questions to answer and I do not want to be a pest, so I thank you for your replies, and request you not to ban me ...

Thanks a lot,

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2009, 09:26:34 AM »
Worried,

What you're not getting is that you didn't have a risk for hiv infection, so why should your wife  be experiencing hiv related PN? It doesn't make sense, unless your wife has been having unprotected intercourse with someone who is hiv positive - AND THAT PERSON IS NOT YOU.

If you cannot bring yourself to believe our NO RISK assessment, go test and collect your negative result. And take your wife to the doctor. You could be missing something important in your focus on an illness which is not a concern in this instance. You have NOT been at risk for hiv!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline veryworriedfather

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  • Posts: 10
Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #14 on: December 30, 2009, 09:37:01 AM »
Thanks Ann  :)

Offline veryworriedfather

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  • Posts: 10
Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #15 on: January 04, 2010, 01:03:27 PM »
Hi Guys,

At the risk of getting banned, i write this:
Have had a horrendous weekend riddled with worry because my wifes symptoms keep getting worse. She cannot have anxiety because she does not know about my exposure. Her symptoms mimic PN. Numbness in foot and arms, hands etc. I am working up strength to get tested. I think i may get this done today. Meanwhile, this is the last few questions I ask of you guys, if you could be so kind to reply without banning me, I wud be greatful.
1) Can one person have ARS symptoms and not the other, if both have been exposed?
2) Does me being uncircumcised make a difference, If the condom was reused, i.e, she just turned the condom upside down and used it again, exposing me to her fluids and me having foreskin?
 Very worried about the foreskin, casue it has not been answered before.

I promise that this is the last of my questions, I am getting tested soon, would just love to see one of you guys respond, will mean a lot to me. Also, please try not to ban me as this wud be the last question guaranteed....Thanks a million

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,274
Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #16 on: January 04, 2010, 01:15:22 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Is it guilt or do I have any reason to be worried??
« Reply #17 on: January 04, 2010, 01:45:18 PM »
Worried,

Take your wife to the doctor to find out what's going on. Whatever it is, it is NOT hiv as you never had a risk.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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