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Author Topic: Pity Party -- Table for 1....  (Read 2051 times)

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Offline tsw923

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« on: February 07, 2007, 08:23:08 PM »
OK --

I've really been trying to keep up the positive energy, but somehow I've managed to sink into a funk.  Why you ask?  Please let me tell you....

1.  I seem to have gotten the cold back AGAIN.  I was on antibiotics for this damn thing in Jan, but starting last weekend I started sniffling and coughing again.  I HATE this.  I couldn't go to the gym today because I feel like CRAP.    :(  And I signed up to walk the 1/2 marathon in June so I HAVE to train.  I cannot be getting sick every couple of weeks.  You'd think taking this damned Bactrim would help with the colds/flu/upper respiratory infections.  What do I do about this?  Do I go back to the doctor on Monday?  I don't want to just keep taking antibiotics.. I freaking HATE being sick... and of course now I'm worried about this 'rebound' cold and whether it means I have something else...

2.  I feel like I'm just treading water at work.  I want the promotion, but I really have no drive/stamina? to do what this company wants me to do to get it.  There are a couple of younger folks that I'm sure will get promoted before me, but how can I complain -- they are willing to do the extra work to get it.  Further, I'm helping my client by INTERVIEWING candidates that say they are qualified but they are not.  I have an 'exit strategy' but now I'm thinking I should stay at my job because of benefits, etc. and at least try to stop getting SICK before I switch.

3.  I get to have my Health Department 'counselor' visit me on Friday.  She seems nice enough and will be bringing me some information I requested, but at the same time, this is just another reminder of how my life has changed.  That 'reminder call' was enough to make me want to curl up under my desk and cry.

4.  My mom's business had a major problem last week and I ended up helping them on Saturday so they could be operational by their deadline.  So now, I'm worried when I get a call from one of them that there is another problem.

5.  Finally got an email from the BF after a week...Long story, but I really NEED a hug and the long distance thing SUCKS big time. 

Well, I needed to get that off my chest.  I have one really good friend that knows my HIV status along with my sister.  When I get like this, they feel its their duty to tell me how fortunate I am and/or how crappy things are for them.  I know they are trying to help, but I needed to tell someone that maybe really understands where I'm at today.

I'm going to try to find some dinner and curl up in a ball and watch cartoons or something for awhile.  I was going to do laundry, but screw it, it'll wait until later....

Ty
Help find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, and other blood-related cancers by sponsoring me as I walk a 1/2 marathon as a part of the Maryland chapter of Team in Training.  To find out more and to donate, please click on the following site:  http://www.active.com/donate/tntmd/tswtntmd

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2007, 08:29:48 PM »
Looks like things can only get better! Hang in there!
Positive since 1985

Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2007, 08:38:57 PM »
Ty,
We are here to listen.  Some days it looks like everything is coming down on you.  It looks like you have had quite a week already.  Hopefully things will turn around and you will feel better.  Why have a pity party for one... why not invite some others?

You do have some very valid concerns but it sounds like you have your head on straight.  Just try to hold on and wait for things to begin moving up.  I know... easier said than done.  Till then, vent here all you want to.   Many of us do understand!
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline dtwpuck

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,013
  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2007, 08:55:07 PM »
****HUG*****
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2007, 10:19:13 PM »
Hey, honey, not everyone has a good day, that's just the way it is. Well all seem to have issues we would rather not deal with that we have to deal with when it comes to this virus. Get it all off your chest, we're here to listen.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline tsw923

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2007, 10:51:16 PM »
Thanks everyone -- I really need some support right now.   I'm not used to being 'needy' or being wishy washy on things.  I'm usually the one my friends call when they need help...

I really want to cry, but I can't just get the tears to come.  I took some cold medicine and laid down for awhile to watch 'Quest For Atlantis' on the sci fi channel.  The meds have stopped the runny nose, but not the cough... I'm taking the Bactrim so it should really be just a cold right?  I'm kind of worried that I can't kick this thing.   

Maybe I'll just take my HIV meds and just go to bed.  I really feel sick physically and emotionally...

I know it will be better, God really has kept me, but man right now I just feel low today...



Help find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, and other blood-related cancers by sponsoring me as I walk a 1/2 marathon as a part of the Maryland chapter of Team in Training.  To find out more and to donate, please click on the following site:  http://www.active.com/donate/tntmd/tswtntmd

Offline Mike89406

  • Member
  • Posts: 206
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2007, 10:56:59 PM »
Dont feel so bad. I just had my appendix removed 2 days ago and am bedridden, I had a head cold prior to that for a week, My wife got strep throat when I got my cold, and shes still sick, Now she got really sick off the new antibiotic, and my 7yr old daughter is pretty much nursing us. The doc gave me some cool meds Percocet for the pain, but I also have to take this other antiobiotic and my septra too plus my HIV meds. I rarely get sick despite my numbers but I hate recovering from surgery.


Hang in there Mike

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2007, 11:08:31 PM »
Hey Ty,

One of those weeks, huh? Glad you let it all out. In the immortal words of godknowswho: This too shall pass.

And as Blixer said, some of us might want to crash your pity party, more fun that way. We can braid each others hair, gossip about boys, eat tubs of ice cream, and generally moan and groan.

 :-* Jay
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2007, 11:45:07 PM »
Ty,  Everyone has their well deserved "aids day"...   Its how you deal with them that makes the difference. 

(HUGS)

« Last Edit: February 10, 2007, 10:37:42 AM by Eric »

Offline Bizmark33

  • Member
  • Posts: 60
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2007, 11:53:10 PM »
It's those that never attend Pity Parties that I tend to worry about. The thing is, they tend to want you to attend "thier" pity party, but not yours.
     We're here for ya, bro. Believe me, I understand. We all have those days, weeks, months.....hell....mine was las yr...the whole damn year.!!!. Those that claim not to are liars.
             Anyhow. It WILL get better. It will. Change is inevitbale. Change is one thing that we HAVE to deal with. THe ole saying, "when life hands you lemons....make lemonade". Sounds so stupid sometimes, but it's true. Isn't it? Just a few months ago, I was fired from my job, and about damn near at rock bottom. But....I'm climbing out. Slowly. I have a job. Numbers look better.
     Now, that's not to say, life won't throw me a curve or two, hear and there. It will. I expect it to. When it does.....your all invited to MY Pity party, and I hope youll remind me of the same things.
~Bri

Offline Boo Radley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,252
  • Not a "real man" and damn proud, mithter... FAB
    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #10 on: February 08, 2007, 12:17:21 AM »
I'm sorry but without a reservation your table won't be available until around midnight -- can you wait? 

Ha ha!  A little gratuitous (must be my word of the day) humor to try to cheer you up, even a bit.  No?  Oh, well, I'm sorry then!!

Ty, this place is made for posts like yours -- you will always find sympathetic, empathetic, supportive people who respond out of compassion and concern for others.  We know how it feels to have everything pile up so high you feel as if an emotional avalanche is about to occur (well, I do, anyway, even if my metaphors were mixed).   

If not for AIDSmeds a lot of people would be isolated from anyone who understands the unique pleasures of being poz, and I'm not talking about only people in rural areas.  I live in New Orleans and currently know no other local poz people. 

Besides, we know a real pity-party when it happens (like if you tell us you're upset because the new DVD player in the Mercedes Benz is so hard to use) and you didn't have a pity-party.  Not even a small pity-soiree.

Please post again when you feel like it!  Cheers!

Boo

String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #11 on: February 08, 2007, 12:35:16 AM »
T- You're just gonna have to do something that let's everyone know you're FEMALE!!  ;D
Hope you giggled a little bit with that.

We all know how rough those days can be. As I'm typing this I hope yo're all snuggled up in bed , sound asleep.

I also hope you wake up to a brand new sunny day tomorrow~

BIGHUGS,
Paul
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Boo Radley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,252
  • Not a "real man" and damn proud, mithter... FAB
    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #12 on: February 08, 2007, 12:52:47 AM »
T - You're just gonna have to do something that let's everyone know you're FEMALE!!  ;D

Hey, you missed her complete admission in another post:

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=8577.msg104694#msg104694

I notified Ripley's and she'll be appearing in the 2008 edition of Believe it or not! 

Currently we're negotiating with Madame Tussaud's but are at a sticking point as to when the full body cast can be scheduled and how Ty will be billed -- we demand top billing but they want to place her under J. Lo, which just isn't gonna happen!!

A very small number of franchising opportunities for financial adepts and wizards are still available.   Just call TWS-4YOU now!! Operators standing by 24/7/365.

I think my Adderall induced super-hyper-graphomania today and I'm still bzzzing like a demented bee.  Sorry.

Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #13 on: February 08, 2007, 11:00:09 AM »
Ty,
Vent here all you want. Bad, crappy days happen. And when it is a bad, crappy, Aids day it seems even more horrible. Snuggle up on the couch, get your comfort food, and know that it will pass.

In regards to the Bactrim...Bactrim is an antibiotic which treats a bacterial infection (bronchitus..etc). A cold is a virus. So, it is possible to get a nasty common cold, and be on bactrim.

If you think it is more than a cold, then you should call the doctor. Respiratory problems should be checked out by the doctor.

Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline marco23

  • Member
  • Posts: 392
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #14 on: February 08, 2007, 11:22:09 AM »
Ty,
you vent ALL YOU WANT!! Let those tears out - a good cry always makes one feel so much better afterwards!
Drink lots of liquids, vitamin C and lots of rest..

We're here for you babe.

HUGE HUG AND KISS!
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline Bizmark33

  • Member
  • Posts: 60
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #15 on: February 08, 2007, 06:35:36 PM »
DOH!   my Bad.....sorry. Instinct on here, I guess. Shouldn't have ASSumed. Made an ass out of me.
     My point still stands though. Brothers, sisters.....we're all in the same boat.

Here's to better days!!!

~Bri

Offline tsw923

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #16 on: February 08, 2007, 11:12:42 PM »
Hey there again,

Let's push together some tables and chat for awhile.   :) 

First and foremost -- I finally changed my profile so folks can see I am woman (hear me roar or hack up a lung...whichever comes first).... 

Secondly -- Boo, your posts to me are priceless   ;D  We really have to work on my billing.  I think I should be ahead of J.Lo -- All my equipment is real  ;D  no implants here! 

Thirdly -- Christine, I really hope its just a bad cold.  If I'm still feeling crappy on Sunday I can go to an 'emergency care' place or wait until Monday to see my doc.  The thing is since I don't work in the same place I live, it means missing a day of work...

Fourth -- Brian -- no worries.  What is important is the support you've given....unless you take it back 'cause I'm a girl... ::)b

Overall today was a wash, I was on autopilot... the cold medicine makes me kind of foggy, but its better than having post nasal drip at the office.  I couldn't concentrate much, but managed to get through the day.  I caught the train back to MD on time today (I work in NY) so I will get the joy of being sick in my own bed!  As I write, I am drinking a cup of hot chamomile and jasmine tea (my own mix) and longing for my bed.   

I just finished talking to my mom about nothing major -- I really thank God for her.  She's so supportive and nurturing.. still a real MOM even though I'm 37.  She can let me ramble on about nothing and still manage to convey that she understands what I'm really feeling...

And now, I rambling to y'all too.... I guess I'm still tired, but not as emotionally down as I was yesterday...  thanks so much to all of you guys.  I'm really glad I found this place and you....

Ty



Help find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, and other blood-related cancers by sponsoring me as I walk a 1/2 marathon as a part of the Maryland chapter of Team in Training.  To find out more and to donate, please click on the following site:  http://www.active.com/donate/tntmd/tswtntmd

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,382
  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #17 on: February 09, 2007, 09:36:27 AM »
Hey Ty,

There is some type of nasty going around here that has laid up many people. Maybe its in your area as well.

I am sending positive, healing energy your way and hope you are back in the pink in quick fashion.

(((((((BIG HUG)))))))

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline budndallastx

  • Member
  • Posts: 463
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #18 on: February 09, 2007, 06:25:34 PM »
{{{{{{{{{{GROUP HUG}}}}}}}}}}

Love Tom
Meds since: 11/20/2006
Sustiva / Truvada
12/08/2008 VL:<48 CD4 622 (38%)   
9/8/2008 VL:<48 CD4 573 (30%)
5/2008 VL:<48 CD4 464 (30%)
1/2008  VL: <50  CD4 425(28%)
9/2007   VL: <50  CD4 465 (27%)
6/2007   VL: <50   CD4 443 (26%)
3/2007  VL: <50   CD4 385 (25%)
12/2006 - VL: <50   CD4: 384 (25%)
11/2006 - VL:  22K  CD4: 208 (18%)

Offline JPinLA

  • Member
  • Posts: 148
  • Cheers!
Re: Pity Party -- Table for 1....
« Reply #19 on: February 09, 2007, 06:33:18 PM »
I love these forums for exactly the reason you posted..to vent frustration, get support and jus tunload sometimes.

HUGS AND KISSES TO YOU!
11/06 - Diagnosed - VL/5784 & CD4 326
2/07 - VL/6000 & CD4 290 2/07
3//07 -Began Truvada/Viramune 
4/07 VL/undetectable and CD4 320 22%
7/07 VL/undetectable and CD4 286 22%
11/07 VL/undetectable and CD4 302 26%

 


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