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Author Topic: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..  (Read 5076 times)

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Offline wondering

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post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« on: June 16, 2006, 05:11:37 AM »
Dear helpful people in this forum,

i was here before, and i had one encounter with a sex worker about a year or two ago.. i tested negative at 3 months and forgot about the whole incident for a while...

recently, i got a girlfriend.. while it was such a blessing, part of me felt guilt and part of me was scared of transmitting whatever i might have caught from that one night of foolishness i had to her, an innocent party.

Since we've been together, we frequently engage in mutual masturbation, and lots of kissing and frenching, and occasionally some oral sex. there was this one time when i kissed her that she said she could taste the smell of iron (i guess from the blood from my unhealthy gums?) in my saliva.

while i know that oral and masturbation is low risk, what are the chances that from that incident of kissing (my saliva having blood and all) that i could infect her, if i had any in me at all?

i've never told her anything abt this, and fear that i could harm her in any way. please let me know if i should get tested again, if any of my actions have brought her unecessary risks.?

Edit: oh, and she told me that she's had some white secretions from her vagina.. is this in any way, a sign or symptom?
« Last Edit: June 16, 2006, 05:25:15 AM by wondering »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Am i at risk of transmitting?
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2006, 05:46:30 AM »
Since you tested negative for HIV at 3 months, you don't need to worry about transmitting HIV to your girlfriend or anyone else for that matter. Read the Welcome Thread and follow the links to the lessons section of this site.

Oral sex (for the insertive partner) and masturbation are not risk activities for the tranmission of HIV. Let me reinforce that, NO RISK not low risk.

MtD

Offline Ann

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Re: Am i at risk of transmitting?
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2006, 07:19:50 AM »
Wondering,

I agree totally with Matty - nothing you have done with your girlfriend has been a transmission risk. But as you have reliably tested negative, you haven't put her at risk anyway.

You need to know that you must be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have BOTH tested negative TOGETHER. Of course, your test would be purely routine, as you already know your status, but you can't expect your partner to rely on your word about it, can you. You need to test TOGETHER BEFORE the condoms come off. It doesn't matter if the person you are having intercourse with is a sex worker or the girl (or boy) next door, you need to be using condoms. Period.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs. If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, please consider your recent testing as the beginning of a healthy habit. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

And as for your girlfriend's vaginal secretions, it could just be the normal colour changes that most women experience as we go through our monthly cycle. If it seems unusual to her, she needs to go to a doctor and get it checked out. That is the only way to know what's going on.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple! Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use those condoms with confidence.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline wondering

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Re: Am i at risk of transmitting?
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2006, 07:56:01 AM »
right. thanks a lot for setting my heart to rest... the last thing i want is to endanger her... thanks again

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Am i at risk of transmitting?
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2006, 07:57:11 AM »
I'm glad we were able to help, Wondering.

Regards,

MtD

Offline wondering

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Re: Am i at risk of transmitting?
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2006, 08:02:09 AM »
sorry i'm still here... just want to be sure about this...so even the kissing with blood in my saliva is not risky?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Am i at risk of transmitting?
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2006, 08:04:59 AM »
sorry i'm still here... just want to be sure about this...so even the kissing with blood in my saliva is not risky?

It's gross, but there's absolutely no risk in terms of HIV. ;) Human saliva contains things which inhibit HIV. Really, don't fret about this. Read the Welcome Thread, follow Ann's excellent advice and you'll be fine.

I promise.

MtD
(Who does not make promises lightly)

Offline wondering

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Re: Am i at risk of transmitting?
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2006, 08:14:19 AM »
thanks :) i'm feeling much better now!
i'll go read the welcome thread and recommended texts now!

Offline Ann

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Re: Am i at risk of transmitting?
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2006, 08:18:13 AM »
Wondering,

The best way you can thank us is by using condoms until you and your girlfriend are monogamous and have tested together. It doesn't matter who she is, how well you think you know her or what you think you know about her health or sexual history. You owe it to each other to test for all STIs, not just hiv, together before you even consider having intercourse without condoms.

And just as a side-note, you need to start brushing your teeth regularly and see a dentist. Not because of any hiv risk, because there isn't, but because it just isn't nice to have gums that bleed so much that your partner can taste/smell it. You'll also end up with no teeth. The health of your gums is very important - please take them seriously.

Again, the best way you can thank us is to use condoms and look after your health. That is the ultimate goal of this forum - to educate people on how to stay healthy and hiv-free. If you've learned something today, then we have done our job.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline wondering

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Re: Am i at risk of transmitting?
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2006, 08:23:41 AM »
righto, i'll use condoms when it comes to it... i've even stopped her from performing oral without telling her why since i suspected i might be putting her at risk.. i'm glad i'm not... i suppose we'll have a check when it comes to that sage... thanks for the advices :)

...and i'll brush my teeth more

Offline wondering

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post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #10 on: December 25, 2006, 01:40:53 PM »
hi... I think i may have landed myself in a situation in which i am unable to carry on my life normally... heres what happened..

about two years ago, i did something wrong, and was faced with the possibility of being infected with HIV. well, it was a painful and worrying wait for the 13 weeks test to come back negative... but life didn't go back to normal as i'd hoped..

i've developed an obsession, a phobia towards any kind of contact with things that (which i think) might have the slightest possibility of having HIV viruses. I know that most of these scenarios may sound absurd and stupid, but my mind doesnt think that way. and i know that most of these are impossible for transmission of the disease, but once again... my mind refuses to accept that rationale. i became paranoid. i got worried over small silly things, like having my dick splashed by my own urine when using a urinal. i wondered if the previous person who used the urinal was positive. i wondered if the flush worked. i wonder if the splash brings droplets from the previous person, and that i could be infected. When i walk on the street and step on a puddle, my mind thinks of the impossible scenario where someone could have bled into that puddle and i have a cut on my foot that enables infection. when i touch the lift buttons, i carry around antiseptic wipes to wipe my finger after pressing the buttons. i am afraid of using public toilets. i shy away from human contact. i dare not shake hands with people i dont know well. i took too many elisa tests. i've registered, and registered numerous times on this forms, and posted too many illogical worries here.

All the while, my mind keeps telling me that i've been through so much to survive that one incident, that i shouldnt be careless and let some other random incident affect me. And all the while i know all those other random things that happens are impossible for transmission, yet i worry myself sick after each time i thought i put myself at risk. It is affecting my life. At the expense of my social life, money and time, this obsession is eating me away. i know i need it to stop. but i don't know how. Can someone please help me? anyone? please... i plead... i need to move on...

Online RapidRod

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #11 on: December 25, 2006, 01:49:07 PM »
Please keep all your questions, thoughts and concerns in your orginal thread.

Offline wondering

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #12 on: December 25, 2006, 01:52:30 PM »
im so sorry... my previous topic was so long ago and  buried behind so many pages i thought it was better to start off a new topic.. and my original, original thread... i don't even remember what username and password i used...

i'm so very sorry...

can we talk in this thread instead?
« Last Edit: December 25, 2006, 01:54:15 PM by wondering »

Online RapidRod

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Offline thunter34

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #14 on: December 25, 2006, 02:04:14 PM »
Man, this is clearly so much more of a mental health issue than an HIV worry...and as such, it is outside the scope of help that this site is trying to provide, I think.  My only advice is to seek out the help of a mental health professional...a counselor or physchologist or the like.  As you have stated yourself, these are not real-world HIV concerns at all.  It is a psychological issue that needs addressing- not a viral one. 
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #15 on: December 25, 2006, 02:16:19 PM »
Well, we know that you have reliably tested negative. So you are definitely HIV negative. Period. End of that story.

Now, as to what you're describing as an unmanageable concern about HIV in general, that's a whole other matter. We're talking feelings and not facts. That's a domain we cannot help you with here.

If you can't let go of these concern then you need to talk with a therapist or other like professional to get some help with sorting it out.

Happily this is not an HIV situation, but that doesn't mean you should just ignore what's going on. Get the proper help as life is way too short to spend this way.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #16 on: December 25, 2006, 08:53:55 PM »
wondering,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

I'd also like to warn you that we only allow one account per person here. You registered, but did not activate, a new account today. If I catch you creating another new account or using the new one you created today, you will be banned, no questions asked. This is all spelled out in the Terms of Membership you agreed to when you joined.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline wondering

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #17 on: December 25, 2006, 09:49:17 PM »
hi, ann... thanks... the reason i wanted to start a new account (as is everytime) is i forget my password and account name... until now only i realized that there is the forget password feature and that one of the emails that i have is still online( you know how yahoo deletes inactive accounts.) very sorry about that.

so i should see a psych-doctor now? a mental doctor or something? they're kinda expensive... they charge per hour... right? i'm not sure how i'm gonna afford that..

Offline Coffeechick88

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #18 on: December 26, 2006, 06:28:05 PM »
hi, ann... thanks... the reason i wanted to start a new account (as is everytime) is i forget my password and account name... until now only i realized that there is the forget password feature and that one of the emails that i have is still online( you know how yahoo deletes inactive accounts.) very sorry about that.

so i should see a psych-doctor now? a mental doctor or something? they're kinda expensive... they charge per hour... right? i'm not sure how i'm gonna afford that..
Do you have insurance that would cover mental health treatment?  Another option would be if you had a clinic that caters to the more low income crowd and charges on a sliding scale based on your income.  I remember using one in college and since I was rather poor, I only ended up paying $3/visit.
Lucas James is here
Born 6-14-08 at 1233 am
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Offline wondering

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Getting infected from a dirty test vial?
« Reply #19 on: July 16, 2008, 06:50:41 AM »
Hi people, i am worried if i may get infected through direct IV contact.....

i just came back from a blood test (done so that i can be admitted to a school), and the vial i was handed to take my blood was kinda, dirty... it had these stains.. like patches black, grey maybe?... which i thought, ok since this vial is only for containing my blood, some stains are ok, they won't get me.

I didn't know until too late, that now they take blood with the needle directly to the vial, instead of using a syringe. And I am so bloody stupid to not have stopped the nurse and ask her about the stains before she took the blood. Also, she tilted the vial in a way that i think some blood that was in the vial went back to my veins. I asked the Doc later about the stain, and he said that the vacuum vials are supposed to be clear and clean...

so...

will i have a problem here? suppose that it is not just dirt in the vial... would i get infected the way people get infected from needlestick injuries? do i stand any risk? I hear that a clinic was once found to have used dirty vials, and thousands of people needed to get tested as a result? please answer, thanks. i'm really worried..
« Last Edit: July 16, 2008, 06:59:31 AM by wondering »

Online RapidRod

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Re: Getting infected from a dirty test vial?
« Reply #20 on: July 16, 2008, 07:02:44 AM »
Your questions will not be answered until you put them in your orginal thread.

Offline wondering

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Re: Getting infected from a dirty test vial?
« Reply #21 on: July 16, 2008, 07:05:36 AM »
but isn't it a different topic altogether? i would, but i thought this is more appropriate since you know exactly what im asking for just by looking at the topic?

fine. i'll post it in the original thread, but please reply.

Offline wondering

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Getting infected from a dirty test vial?
« Reply #22 on: July 16, 2008, 07:07:32 AM »
Hi people, i am worried if i may get infected through direct IV contact.....

i just came back from a blood test (done so that i can be admitted to a school), and the vial i was handed to take my blood was kinda, dirty... it had these stains.. like patches black, grey maybe?... which i thought, ok since this vial is only for containing my blood, some stains are ok, they won't get me.

I didn't know until too late, that now they take blood with the needle directly to the vial, instead of using a syringe. And I am so bloody stupid to not have stopped the nurse and ask her about the stains before she took the blood. Also, she tilted the vial in a way that i think some blood that was in the vial went back to my veins. I asked the Doc later about the stain, and he said that the vacuum vials are supposed to be clear and clean...

so...

will i have a problem here? suppose that it is not just dirt in the vial... would i get infected the way people get infected from needlestick injuries? do i stand any risk? I hear that a clinic was once found to have used dirty vials, and thousands of people needed to get tested as a result? please answer, thanks. i'm really worried..

Offline wondering

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Getting infected from a dirty test vial?
« Reply #23 on: July 16, 2008, 07:08:32 AM »
Rapidrod, i have done as you said. could you pleaase change the topic or something so people know what i'm talking about now and not two years ago?

and please guys, could you treat this as a new case and not be prejudiced by my previous postings? i had moved on from my previous problems. but now this has surfaced - its a completely different story this time
« Last Edit: July 16, 2008, 07:10:18 AM by wondering »

Online RapidRod

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #24 on: July 16, 2008, 07:12:01 AM »
You didn't have a risk of contracting HIV in the situation you provided.

Offline wondering

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #25 on: July 16, 2008, 07:15:17 AM »
could you explain please? i know you are very fed-up with me and my questions. but i'm trying hard to rationalize with myself that i'm not at risk either, and i need some expert advice on exactly why i don't.

so could you please please, not be so combative towards me and elaborate a little on how you think it's no risk? it's a direct IV contact after all... and from what i've heard, hiv survives well in a sealed container?

Online RapidRod

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #26 on: July 16, 2008, 07:18:49 AM »
Your blood was taken with a vacuum container. The blood is withdrawn not injected. What you thought was a stain was more than likely an Agar slant vial. NO RISK.
« Last Edit: July 16, 2008, 07:21:04 AM by RapidRod »

Offline wondering

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #27 on: July 16, 2008, 07:21:25 AM »
thank you very much rapidrod. i am very grateful.

sorry, what is an 'agar slant'?

Online RapidRod

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #28 on: July 16, 2008, 07:24:24 AM »
A medium put in the bottom of vials to run additional cultures.

Offline wondering

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #29 on: July 16, 2008, 07:28:43 AM »
thanks rapid... am i to assume that these agar are standardly-used in blood test vials? i tried to google this but nothing turned up.

Online RapidRod

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #30 on: July 16, 2008, 07:30:26 AM »
Yes they are.

Offline wondering

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #31 on: July 16, 2008, 07:31:27 AM »
thank you very, very much rapidrod. thanks.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: post-exposure obsessions... please help me move on..
« Reply #32 on: July 16, 2008, 07:46:53 AM »
I've merged your threads. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread.

You are HIV negative. Period. End of story.

We cannot help you in this setting with your lingering fears and concerns. If you continue to be troubled about HIV, then it's about feelings and not facts based in HIV science. See a therapist or other mental health professional to discuss the situation. That's beyond our domain to address properly.

This is not an HIV situation. Good luck to you. 
Andy Velez

 


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