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Author Topic: I finally managed to disclose my status to my sweerheart.  (Read 955 times)

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Offline siongi

  • Member
  • Posts: 42
I finally managed to disclose my status to my sweerheart.
« on: February 01, 2007, 08:41:22 AM »
Hi all,

For quite a long time now, i had been worrying about how to disclose my status to my sweetheart. This is inspite of  the many encouraging ways one is able to find in these forums.When i say quite some time, i do not mean a few weeks or a few months. It has indeed  taken me 3 good years but this only came to my realisation a few days ago when i eventually managed to bite the bullet!How time flies!

And it wasnt easy! You see,  i had reheased the many ways an infected person can use in  making a disclosure to a loved one.Unfortunately i couldnt find the guts to use them we everyday we met at home, or wherever! I feel i have been indeed mean and moreso a little bit silly not to have shared the only greatest lethal secret of our lives. But i cant really tell why it took me such a long time!I think this is the one question i will have to answer sometime!

So last week i decided to put everything to rest. I told her all about my status. I do not know how your partner reacted.Mine thought it was one of those 'jokes' we would normally make to a loved one of what would happen if one wakes up and only to find the other gone to the wind! .Until i showed the medications i have been taking.And the reason why i have lived ( for a long time) since the last time i went down with TB.We have been using a condom though since then. Earlier, we had decided not to, under any circumstance,make more babies and she didnt want to use the pills because she read somewhere that, though not proven,the pills may cause cancer or other complications.This only played a role in hiding my status! She is still yet to tell me about how she feels following the disclosure.We have since visited the Doctor who has been helping me through, got her tested and found, sadly, that she is also +ve .However, her CD 4 cells are in the green and the  viral load still ok so  we will have to pay another visit to the Doctor  later in April this year to determine the time when she should begin taking the ARVS.

Since the time i knew i was +ve, many things have been doing the rounds in my head..first the thought of taking my own life. Second, the fear of stigma as in this part of the world, people literally run away from characters who are +ve.Third, the consequences when eventually my employer would know of my status then the risk of loosing out on the mortgages as HIV +  people were considered a sure risk by the underwriting companies by then. I have overcome all these though and things have been ok for me. I have not committed suicide ( thanks to the forums), my insurance covers are on( thanks to the ARVs) and i have not died as yet!

I just thought i should let you all  know how am progressing in this part of the world.

Thanks for reading.

William







Offline med forum

  • Member
  • Posts: 76
Re: I finally managed to disclose my status to my sweerheart.
« Reply #1 on: February 01, 2007, 09:05:22 AM »
Hi William

Thanks for sharing your story.....I found out that my boyfriend of two and a half years is positive and never once have I thought about leaving the relationship. I try to be there for him and try to be a support system because I know that this isn't easy and I can't pretend to place myself in his shoes. Having a strong and positive support system regardless of the situation is extremely important. Make every effort to be there for each other because there will be good days and bad days but remember....it's ok.
My boyfriend had a difficult time telling me because he didn't want to hurt me. He really felt that I would leave the relationship and actually....he really kinda expected it to happen. I told him that would be one of the most selfish things that I could do as a human being. The key word here is love and if it truly exists in the relationship then I believe you can get through anything.

Peace & Health!
Peace & health

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: I finally managed to disclose my status to my sweerheart.
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2007, 10:46:23 AM »
WOW!!! You are brave..

I hope everything works out fine...

Alex
Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: I finally managed to disclose my status to my sweerheart.
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2007, 02:10:39 PM »
Wait a minute.  I'm lost here.  You have said in a previous post (Disclosure-I DID IT! Thread) that you have already told your "honey" and that she was happy about her CD4 counts and that you were suprised or something by her thoughts and plan of action......

I am wondering a couple of things.

1.  Which one is true-The previous post or this post?
2.  Why the hell would you wait 3 years to tell your WIFE for godsakes?  I mean I get if you are just dating someone but 3 years?

Im not attacking you just seeking a better understanding of who's behind the name......
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: I finally managed to disclose my status to my sweerheart.
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2007, 08:34:39 PM »
bump just cause i want answers.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

 


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