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Being supportive & understanding

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med forum:
I just came across this forum and I would like to encourage those who are positive as well as those who have been affected in some way by HIV and or AIDS to voice their opinions, struggles, comments and support for others who may be seeking emotional comfort and suuport.
My boyfriend was diagnosed in 2006  and I've been trying to learn as much as I can ( in moderation) about HIV and AIDS and what I can do to be more pro active in this fight. Has it been a struggle.....yes it has. I feel like I'm alone many days with noone to turn to. I have had so many feelings in the last several months that I can't begin to explain but the one dominant feeling above all others is the enormous care and love that I have for him. When I'm struggling on certain days, I just try to remember that when he told me that he was positive, that I never once had the thought of leaving the relationship. He assumed that I would because I wouldn't want to "deal" with him anymore. That couldn't be further from the truth. Over the course of the last two years, I have really experienced true love and can say with all honesty that love is an unbelievable power that can supercede all things.
Would anyone have advice to give me in terms of how to continue being supportive and understanding in a positive/negative relationship? Everyone's experiences are their own...I understand that.....but not being able to truly understand what he's going through is kind of difficult for me at times because I know that I can't put myself in his shoes.
I try to go through each day doing the best that I know how...... Thanks for reading!

Boo Radley:
You may not be able to put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes but with time you will get a better feeling for how HIV affects him.  We're all different in how we deal emotionally, intellectually, physically, etc. with being HIV+ so there's no standard set of guidelines to help you, but you're doing a good job so far.  If he seems to be worried you will leave him try to reassure him on that front.  When he has bad days dealing with the physical or emotional aspects of being poz just be there for him.  Above all be honest with him and ask him to be totally honest with you.  Educate yourself as much as you can about HIV.  There may be support groups in your area for loved ones of HIV+ people.   

Come back to AIDSmeds and ask more questions.  This forum (i.e., Someone I care about...) is new and there are not yet a lot of other people like you using it but in time it will grow and you can share your experiences with others in similar situations. 



We just found out in May 2006 that hubby was positive. So I'm about as new as you are in all this. It sounds like you are doing a great job of loving, supporting, and trying to learn as much as you can about HIV. That's really all we can be there for them when they need us. I know more about hubbys disease than he does. I told hubby that no matter what we were in this together and he knows no matter what I am there for him.

I'm glad you found this forum. The people here have helped me so much and I know they will be a big help to you also!


med forum:
Thank you for the encouraging seems as though there aren't too many resources for people
who have loved ones who are positive.

Peace & health

The fact that you realize that you cannot put yourself in his shoes is a really good start.  The fact that you are trying to do it anyway is phenomenal.

Your partner is a very lucky man.  I hope he realizes that.

Here's some advice.  Listen to his concerns.  Tell him yours.  Always look him straight in the eye.  And, remember, this disease has a way of making those of us with it feel a bit like sexual pariahs.  We suddenly feel poisonous, toxic, dangerous.  He may love you so much that he fears infecting you.

My hat is off to you.  And, my ears are open if you have any specific questions.



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