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Author Topic: Cow economics from around the world  (Read 1305 times)

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Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Cow economics from around the world
« on: June 15, 2006, 02:12:39 PM »
TRADITIONAL CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law who works at your bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the earnings press release. The public buys your bull.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty time the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowikimon and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are... You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows... both are mad.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows... and the one on the left is kinda cute...
« Last Edit: June 15, 2006, 02:27:55 PM by Cliff »

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: Cow economics from around the world
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2006, 03:13:26 PM »
Cliff..........It's all so clear now :o
Thanks!  Interesting read.........and funny :P
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline Lisa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,240
  • Formerly known as sweetieweasel/Joined Nov. 2004
    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: Cow economics from around the world
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2006, 04:02:09 PM »
Thanks for the laughter. That is priceless. :D
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,885
  • AM member since 2003
Re: Cow economics from around the world
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2006, 06:48:18 PM »
 :D..that was so funny...and so true about NZ..we have the best looking cows here...thanks for starting my morning off with a laugh.

((hugs))
Jan :-*
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