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Author Topic: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help  (Read 8743 times)

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Offline chip

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« on: January 29, 2007, 05:55:00 PM »
Experts,

I am married and have a baby on the way. So your answer to my question is very important to me and I appreciate your time. I do not want to have unprotected sex with my wife until I am in the clear. The only thing I have done wrong is below:

I went to a massage parlor on Saturday Night. Everything was normal until the girl flipped me over and took my towel off so I was completely exposed. I was a bit in shock and I don't know why I didn't put the towel back on immediatly, but

she grabbed a bottle of rubbing oil and may have put the same hand that was on the bottle on my penis for maybe not even 10 sec.

I immediately pushed her hand aside and told her that I was married and that wouldn't be necessary.

She put the towel back on and I got dressed.

She had said that I was her 9th customer today. What I am worried about is if there was sperm on the bottle from one of the prior customers' sperm was on the bottle and she touched the bottle with the SAME HAND that she touched me, could I have gotten infected with HIV. I know that it can't get in unless she touched my urethera, but I am not sure when she touched me for 10 SEC if she touched my urethera with the same hand.

Questions:

A. It was at least 30 minutes between the last customer and when she touched me. Would that be enough time to make the HIV inactive if sperm was sitting on the bottle for 30 minutes before she touched it?
B. If there was oil or lotion on the outside of the bottle, would this have made the virus last longer and able to infect, longer than 30 minutes?
C. Would her touching my urethra for 10 SEC inadvertently with the same hand that she touched the bottle be enough time to infect me with HIV?
D. Could I have gotten infected with HIV in the situation described?
E. Do I need to spend $180 and test over this incident as I have no other risks?
F. What is the chance? 25%, 50%, 75%, 100%

Thank you experts!

Offline AustinWesley

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    • HIV Discussion Group on Myspace!
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2007, 06:04:56 PM »
OMG, I hate to laugh, but you got to be kidding me.   What do you do when at a resterant and they touch your hamburger and all the stuff before you eat it?

Seriously dude, you have NOTHING to worry about.   Zero chance of anything!   

« Last Edit: January 30, 2007, 04:00:57 PM by AustinWesley »
Diag. 3/06  Infected aprx. 2 mo. Prior
Date        CD4   %      VL
4/6/06     627    32    36,500     NO MEDS YET!
6/7/06     409    27    36,100
8/23/06   408    25     22,300
1/2/07     354    23     28,700
2/9/07     139    30     23,000  Hep A Vaccine same day???
2/21/07   274    26     18,500 
3/3/07    RX of Truvada/Sustiva Started.
4/5/07    321     27      Undectable 1st mo.  
5/16/07  383     28    Undectable 2nd mo.
8/10/07  422     32   UD <48 on new scale!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2007, 10:27:31 PM »
Chip, how about taking a nice deep and slow breath in right now. Let it out and take another one. No kidding.

You weren't in any way at risk for HIV transmission in the incident you are concerned about. You don't need to get tested. You can continue to have unprotected intercourse with your wife.

I suspect you may have some shame about having found yourself in that situation. Do everyone concerned -- yourself, your wife and your coming baby -- take another breath-- and let this thing go.

Absolutely no cause for concern. HIV is a fragile virus which cannot be easily transmitted and certainly not in any of the ways you are concerned about.

Get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2007, 02:32:11 PM »
Ann, do you agree with Andy on this?  You both seem very knowlegeable and it would really help me to sleep better at night with both of your opirions.

I am just concerned about the possible transmission to wife and baby and the possible sperm on the bottle.

Sorry to be asking you too Ann and I mean no disrespect to Andy, it would just help me with your opinion as well Ann.

Are we sure on this?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2007, 02:50:43 PM »
You don't get infected from environmental surfaces. So no, she couldn't have transfer infected sperm to your penis from a bottle of lube.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2007, 02:54:19 PM »
There is no way this happens.  You have had ZERO risk for HIV infection.  If this was possible there would be THOUSANDS of reported and documented cases.  With everyone that visits massage parlors and the like this would be all over the place and it is not. 

You have no reason to worry.  Ann will tell you the same thing.

This sounds more like a guilty conscience than anything, although you stuck up for your marriage which is always a good thing!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline chip

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  • Posts: 25
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2007, 03:00:53 PM »
Thank you for the support, all I need to do is hear from Ann and It will really help.  She seems to know alot.

Ann what are your thoughts?

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2007, 03:05:02 PM »
You're going to have to be patient.  It's dinner time for Ann I imagine.  She will probably be on later.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 24,402
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2007, 03:08:29 PM »
Chip, stop starting a new thread just because you want to get Ann's attention. I've deleted the new one you began in hopes of getting her attention.

She will in fact be otherwise engaged for the most part today. In any case, keep your questions and comments in this, your original thread.

For what it's worth, and probably not much given the paroxyms of guilt you're indulging in, you were absolutely not in any way at risk for HIV in your incident. None whatsoever. Is any part of your mind capable of listening at this point? Read the lesson on transmission if you haven't already done so. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

This is not an HIV situation no matter what your mind is telling you to the contrary. Period.  
Andy Velez

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,278
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2007, 03:16:23 PM »
AC and Andy, he paid 15 bucks for a reply from Dr. H and he was given the same answer that we have given him and he continues to ask the same questions. I see no further discussion on this with Chip.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2007, 03:27:44 PM »
You mean we can CHARGE for this?  ;)
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,278
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2007, 03:34:21 PM »
I wish we could for anyone that posts over five quesitons in a week.  :D

Offline chip

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #12 on: January 31, 2007, 07:57:52 AM »
Andy, thank you again for posting.  I consider your advice and Ann's equally, it is just two is better than one.

Rapidrod, I did post on Medhelp, but that doctor seemed too lose about the risks (slim to no risk with one incident of Hetero sex for instance) and then I came on this site and realized you people are more on target with your advice.

Anyway, Andy thank you very much for your post and I will take your advice.

just know that you have helped someone and you are very special for your help.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,278
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #13 on: January 31, 2007, 08:56:19 AM »
Quote
Hello Dr.,

I am married and have a baby on the way. So your answer to my question is very important to me and I appreciate your time. I do not want to have unprotected sex with my wife until I am in the clear. The only thing I have done wrong is below:

I went to a massage parlor on Saturday Night. Everything was normal until the girl flipped me over and took my towel off so I was completely exposed. I was a bit in shock and I don't know why I didn't put the towel back on immediatly, but

she grabbed a bottle of rubbing oil and may have put the same hand that was on the bottle on my penis for maybe not even 1 sec.

I immediately pushed her hand aside and told her that I was married and that wouldn't be necessary.

She put the towel back on and I got dressed.

She had said that I was her 9th customer today. What I am worried about is if there was sperm on the bottle from one of the prior customers on the bottle and she touched the bottle with the SAME HAND that she touched me, could I have gotten infected with HIV. I know that it can't get in unless she touched my urethera, but I am not sure when she touched me for 1 SEC if she touched my urethera with the same hand.

Questions:

A. It was at least 30 minutes between the last customer and when she touched me. Would that be enough time to make the HIV inactive if sperm was sitting on the bottle for 30 minutes before she touched it?
B. If there was oil or lotion on the outside of the bottle, would this have made the virus last longer and able to infect, longer than 30 minutes?
C. Would her touching my urethra for 1 SEC inadvertently with the same hand that she touched the bottle be enough time to infect me with HIV?
D. Could I have gotten infected with HIV in the situation described?
E. Do I need to spend $180 and test over this incident as I have no other risks?
F. What is the chance? 25%, 50%, 75%, 100%

Thank you, Dr.


Quote
Forum-M.D.-HHH
1/29/2007
 Chip35 That exposure carried no more risk of HIV transmission than simply sitting in the same room as an HIV infected person. That is, zero. You do not need HIV testing.
Please read my reply to the thread "Conclusive???", posted yesterday. That reply also applies to you.

HHH, MD

The reply to conclusive from Dr. H.

Quote
You had a virtually zero risk exposure, did not need testing at all, and certainly do not need more testing. The tests already done prove you are not infected adn that your symptoms cannot be due to HIV. I have no opinion about other possible causes.

No "yes but" or "what if" follow-up questions, please.

HHH, MD

Quote
Rapidrod, I did post on Medhelp, but that doctor seemed too lose about the risks (slim to no risk with one incident of Hetero sex for instance)
I don't see anything loose about his reply. He was point on. No different than what we told you for free.
« Last Edit: January 31, 2007, 08:58:48 AM by RapidRod »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2007, 09:36:52 AM »
You're welcome, Chip.

By the way, Ann is handling some personal matters these days so I don't know how frequently she will be in here during the next week or so. In any case I know she would not be telling you anything differently than you have already heard.

Like I said previously, time to get on with your life. Even at its longest it's way too short to be spent on unnecessary worries.

Andy Velez

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #15 on: January 31, 2007, 02:18:37 PM »
Chip,

You have not had a risk for hiv infection by any stretch of the imagination.

I have disabled your other account - "KnowImCrazy" - because members are only allowed one account here, something you have agreed to TWICE when joining these forums. Do it again and you will be banned. I know you haven't forgotten the log in details of your other account because you logged in with it as recently as yesterday. Stick to this account or be banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AustinWesley

  • Member
  • Posts: 815
    • HIV Discussion Group on Myspace!
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #16 on: January 31, 2007, 02:33:03 PM »
Way to throw down the law Ann! ; )   

And kudos to the member who posted the doctors reply to Chip.   That gave me a good laugh.   Oy!

You know I have to give both Ann and Andy a lot of credit for doing a terrific job.   Most appreciated!
Diag. 3/06  Infected aprx. 2 mo. Prior
Date        CD4   %      VL
4/6/06     627    32    36,500     NO MEDS YET!
6/7/06     409    27    36,100
8/23/06   408    25     22,300
1/2/07     354    23     28,700
2/9/07     139    30     23,000  Hep A Vaccine same day???
2/21/07   274    26     18,500 
3/3/07    RX of Truvada/Sustiva Started.
4/5/07    321     27      Undectable 1st mo.  
5/16/07  383     28    Undectable 2nd mo.
8/10/07  422     32   UD <48 on new scale!

Offline chip

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #17 on: January 31, 2007, 03:36:06 PM »
I apologize...very embarrassing  :'(

thanks again for your help...I obviously have problems with this, but it isn't your problem.  Sorry for taking your time.

END THREAD

Offline chip

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #18 on: February 01, 2007, 07:53:07 AM »
Now I am really confused.  3-4 days after the incident, I have ARS symptoms (99.6-100 fever), aches, headache etc.

Is 3 to 4 days too soon to get ARS?  would the fever be more than 100?


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #19 on: February 01, 2007, 08:57:09 AM »
Yes, that is too soon for ARS. By the way, up to 100 is not considered a fever. 

You didn't have ARS because you didn't have an HIV risk. Re-read what has already been said to you.

It's your mind again cooking up stuff that has no basis in HIV science.
Andy Velez

Offline chip

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #20 on: February 01, 2007, 09:07:22 AM »
Thank you, Andy, you are truly a saint

I will try to put it out of my mind.  I think it is just the stakes (baby, etc.) that are making the situation worse.


Offline chip

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #21 on: February 05, 2007, 10:54:26 AM »
There may be one thing that I forgot about the situation that may change your opinions.  I am having much problems sleeping and cannot have sex with my wife.

The one thing I forgot to tell you is that, before I laid down on the massage bed and on the towel on the massage bed, I didn't check to see if there were any fluids on the towel.  I do remember during the first 25 minutes before she flipped me over of the massage, my penis (not hard at this point) was getting smashed into the towel, Urethera FIRST into the towel, OVER AND OVER again for 25 minutes.

I called the CDC and they said that if some sperm from the bottle or the towel got into my urethera I could have been infected even if it was only 5 minutes.

It was at least 5 minutes, if not more, before the other person was there before me, so if there was pre-cum or sperm from the guy before me, it would have been on the towel for at least 5 minutes before I put my urethera there.

Does this change your thoughts on my situation?
Can I still have unprotected sex with my pregnant wife? 
Do I need to test?
Can I let this go and not worry about it?
Has anyone ever gotten HIV in either of these ways?
Would 5 Minutes have been enough time to kill the virus in the sperm on the towel or does it need more time?

I know she and the baby do not have HIV because they were tested 2 months ago and I know I didn't have HIV before this incident because I was tested one month ago for life insurance.

The reason I ask is that around 4 days after the incident I was sick for 3 days with a fever from 99.3-100.  It was 100 only once and hovered around 99.5.  I was achy for about 2 days of this and a stuffed nose and persistent cough.  I also had sweats around my neck.  Could this be related to the incidents described above?  I just got over these symptoms after 4 days.


Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,278
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #22 on: February 05, 2007, 10:56:55 AM »
No, it does not change the results, or the replies that you have been given.

Offline chip

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  • Posts: 25
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #23 on: February 05, 2007, 11:04:31 AM »
Ann and Andy, do you agree with rapid on my new info and if it changes your first opinions?

no disrespect, rapidrod, you are very helpful as well..




Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #24 on: February 05, 2007, 11:08:46 AM »
It changes nothing and the guy at the CDC should be fired for telling you that.  It doesnt happen that way.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline chip

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #25 on: February 05, 2007, 11:12:23 AM »
Ann and Andy, do you agree with Rapidrod and ACinKC?

I would greatly appreciate a 'seal of approval' from you and then I can move on.

Again, thank you so much ACinKC and Rapidrod for your quick responses and I do not mean any disrespect.

Offline jeffsmith

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  • Posts: 20
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #26 on: February 05, 2007, 11:22:12 AM »
It seems that no matter what kind of advice you are provided, you cease to take it.
I had read your original statement to Dr. Handsfield.  He gave you solid advice. Likewise, the forum users and the online moderators provided you with the same, solid advice.  If you indeed were infected with HIV, which any reasonable person would know could not have happened through this incident, it was through some other sexual contact you are not stating.  If this the ONLY "risk", if that is what you want to call it, you need no testing. If persons were infected this way, there would be no persons living today.  Give it up dude! Your anxiety-driven questions are insulting when no "real" risk occurred.

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #27 on: February 05, 2007, 11:43:49 AM »
Jeff you need to stay in your own thread.  Please don't go about giving advice just yet.  Thanks.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline jeffsmith

  • Member
  • Posts: 20
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #28 on: February 05, 2007, 11:56:47 AM »
The last I checked...you are a "member" ONLY too.
Ahhh,...I get it....bias in here.  You need to be HIV+ to be able to respond.

And the last I knew...my advice is correct.


Offline chip

  • Member
  • Posts: 25
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #29 on: February 05, 2007, 12:16:22 PM »
Again I apprecaite the input from Rapidrod and ACinKC as it was quick and I am only asking for one more opinion on the additional information below from Ann and/or Andy and then I will be on my way.

Jeff, I don't mean to be rude, but why would I under-report my actual risk?  If I did, the advice here from good people like Andy, Ann, ACinKC and Rapidrod would be useless and a waste of their time and would not result in the reassurance I seek and a waste of mine. 

Jeff, please do not respond to this tread, you are mean and are not helping and actually increasing my anxiety.



There may be one thing that I forgot about the situation that may change your opinions.  I am having much problems sleeping and cannot have sex with my wife.

The one thing I forgot to tell you is that, before I laid down on the massage bed and on the towel on the massage bed, I didn't check to see if there were any fluids on the towel.  I do remember during the first 25 minutes before she flipped me over of the massage, my penis (not hard at this point) was getting smashed into the towel, Urethera FIRST into the towel, OVER AND OVER again for 25 minutes.

I called the CDC and they said that if some sperm from the bottle or the towel got into my urethera I could have been infected even if it was only 5 minutes.

It was at least 5 minutes, if not more, before the other person was there before me, so if there was pre-cum or sperm from the guy before me, it would have been on the towel for at least 5 minutes before I put my urethera there.

Does this change your thoughts on my situation?
Can I still have unprotected sex with my pregnant wife? 
Do I need to test?
Can I let this go and not worry about it?
Has anyone ever gotten HIV in either of these ways?
Would 5 Minutes have been enough time to kill the virus in the sperm on the towel or does it need more time?

I know she and the baby do not have HIV because they were tested 2 months ago and I know I didn't have HIV before this incident because I was tested one month ago for life insurance.

The reason I ask is that around 4 days after the incident I was sick for 3 days with a fever from 99.3-100.  It was 100 only once and hovered around 99.5.  I was achy for about 2 days of this and a stuffed nose and persistent cough.  I also had sweats around my neck.  Could this be related to the incidents described above?  I just got over these symptoms after 4 days.



Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #30 on: February 05, 2007, 12:21:45 PM »
Jeff, I answered you via PM.  As it doesnt relate to this thread please keep it there.

Chip,

HIV is not transmitted in this matter.  Ann and Andy will tell you the same thing.  HIV is NOT contracted through "surface contact" of any kind.  Please read if you havent already the lessons on Transmission located in the welcome thread at the top of this forum.

LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #31 on: February 05, 2007, 12:27:28 PM »
Thank you, Again, AC, you are definitley making me feel better, I can't stop thinking about it...

Ann and Andy, does anything below change your first opinions in this thread?  Do you Agree with Rapid and AC?

There may be one thing that I forgot about the situation that may change your opinions.  I am having much problems sleeping and cannot have sex with my wife.

The one thing I forgot to tell you is that, before I laid down on the massage bed and on the towel on the massage bed, I didn't check to see if there were any fluids on the towel.  I do remember during the first 25 minutes before she flipped me over of the massage, my penis (not hard at this point) was getting smashed into the towel, Urethera FIRST into the towel, OVER AND OVER again for 25 minutes.

I called the CDC and they said that if some sperm from the bottle or the towel got into my urethera I could have been infected even if it was only 5 minutes.

It was at least 5 minutes, if not more, before the other person was there before me, so if there was pre-cum or sperm from the guy before me, it would have been on the towel for at least 5 minutes before I put my urethera there.

Does this change your thoughts on my situation?
Can I still have unprotected sex with my pregnant wife? 
Do I need to test?
Can I let this go and not worry about it?
Has anyone ever gotten HIV in either of these ways?
Would 5 Minutes have been enough time to kill the virus in the sperm on the towel or does it need more time?

I know she and the baby do not have HIV because they were tested 2 months ago and I know I didn't have HIV before this incident because I was tested one month ago for life insurance.

The reason I ask is that around 4 days after the incident I was sick for 3 days with a fever from 99.3-100.  It was 100 only once and hovered around 99.5.  I was achy for about 2 days of this and a stuffed nose and persistent cough.  I also had sweats around my neck.  Could this be related to the incidents described above?  I just got over these symptoms after 4 days.



Offline Ann

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #32 on: February 05, 2007, 02:05:05 PM »
Chip,

You haven't had a risk. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Nothing in your latest posts changes that.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #33 on: February 05, 2007, 02:15:23 PM »
thank you, Ann, your word is the gold standard.

Please be well....

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #34 on: February 05, 2007, 05:30:05 PM »
I'm in total agreement about your not having been at risk.

Chip, often the impending arrival of a baby and the changes that come with that can bring up all sorts of emotional stuff which can show up in different ways. And that's true even when the baby's arrival is a happily anticipated event. I'm just wondering if there might be some kinship between that and your totally unwarranted concerns about HIV.

And then of course there is the issue of guilt about this sexual experience.

Would seeing a therapist be helpful to you is what I am wondering.

In any case, this is NOT an HIV situation. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #35 on: February 05, 2007, 09:16:43 PM »
Andy, thank you so much for your advice.  It very much must have something to do with the baby.

Even the fact that you mentioned that it was a 'sexual experience' made me feel guilty even though in my heart I know a 'sexual experience' wasn't my intention when I went for the massage.

I don't know why I even went in there.  Looking back, consciously I didn't think anything would happen (as I have been to that massage place before with no offer of a happy ending), but I still should not have put myself in that position.

But I am not paying you for therapy so I will end it there.

You are very perceptive and once again have gone above and beyond the call of duty.

Ann, Andy, Rapidrod and ACinKC, thank you for your help and I will put this out of my mind.

Also please everyone, stay well and be well.



Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #36 on: July 09, 2007, 03:39:39 AM »
I know this has been addressed before, but not like this.

I used a toilet in a seedy bar, where both women and men use the seat.  I am not sure if there was menstral blood or semen on the seat, but my penis is larger than average and I didn't notice that my urethera was pressed against the top of the toilet seat for about a minute.  When I realized, I took it away from the seat right away.

I just had a baby and am afraid to have sex with my wife.

Do I need to be tested first?
Is there a 1% chance or 0% chance of HIV?

thank you

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #37 on: July 09, 2007, 03:48:39 AM »
Chip,

Thank you for returning to your original thread.

The idea that one can contract an STD (be it HIV or anything else) from a toilet seat is an old but false one. There is absolutely no HIV risk from what you describe, irrespective of the presence (or otherwise) of semen, blood or anything else.

You don't need to test for HIV as a result of this. You may, however, benefit from discussing your fears about HIV infection with a mental health professional.

MtD

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #38 on: July 09, 2007, 03:52:02 AM »
Matty,

Thank you for your quick response.

Andy and Ann do you agree with this latest toilet seat incident?

I appreciate your response and opinoins.  Thank you

Offline Ann

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #39 on: July 09, 2007, 05:06:17 AM »
Chip,

What do you think? Of course there's no hiv risk involving toilet seats.

I also agree with Matty that it's high time you addressed this hiv phobia of yours in the proper setting - which is face to face with a mental health care professional, NOT on an internet forum.

Ann
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #40 on: July 09, 2007, 08:22:48 AM »
Ann,

Thank you for your quick response.

I have been getting help.

Be well,

C

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #41 on: July 09, 2007, 09:24:40 AM »
Andy,

Do you concur with Ann, that there is no way I could have gotten HIV if my urethra touched some fluid (semen or blood) on toilet for 1 minute?

C

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #42 on: July 09, 2007, 09:39:46 AM »
Why would any of us not concur with Ann? Do you think she is going to give you false information? We're here to prevent the spread of HIV infection not promote it.

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #43 on: July 09, 2007, 09:54:00 AM »
That is a good point, Rapidrod.  You guys wouldn't want me to give it to my wife with out newborn around.

I am just being crazy, I think it is just that I have so much to lose and there was some fluid either blood or semen on the toilet and my urethra touched it for a minute, I thought there would be a chance.

but you say no?

Offline Ann

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #44 on: July 09, 2007, 10:03:27 AM »
Chip,

I say NO, Andy says NO, Rodney says NO, Matty says NO... anyone who knows the basics of hiv transmission says NO! Hiv does not remain viable outside the human body, not even when it's on a toilet seat.

Maybe you should increase the number of therapy sessions you go to. Hiv is not lurking in the environment, waiting for you to come along so it can infect you. Seriously, it's not.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #45 on: July 09, 2007, 12:17:46 PM »
I am sorry to have pissed you off, the last thing I want to do is irritate.

Thank you for taking some of your precious time to answer my question.  You have given me much peace of mind.

Please be well,

C

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #46 on: July 09, 2007, 01:59:40 PM »
You have absolutely no basis in HIV science for your HIV fears. They are patently ludicrous, to put it mildly.

Am I coming through loud and clear here?

You need to keep working with a mental health professional to deal with whatever is going on.

This is not an HIV situation. Period. End of story. And this kind of ridiculousness is one you need to address seriously before inflicting it further on your family.
Andy Velez

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #47 on: July 09, 2007, 03:53:27 PM »
Andy, you are right.  My apologies, i will keep working,

Please be well,

C

Offline chip

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #48 on: October 05, 2007, 04:16:16 PM »
I have tested negative with no risks before my latest incident so if I get it i know it is from this.

I have been very careful the past few months when getting massages but I can't believe what happend and wanted to know if the experts think...

1. Do I need to get tested
2. I just had a baby and am worried about infecting my wife, can I have unprotected sex with her?

Here is what happened.  I got a massage (NOTHING SEXUAL, Although she tried and this is a seedy joint)  from a girl that HAD THE WORST HANDS I have ever seen.  She had roughly 4 sores with red marks, dried blood, literally HOLES in her Hands (about 3).  They didn't look wet bloody and were actually very dry, but I am very concerned that they bled while she was massaging me.  I didn't see any blood, but I can't be sure.

I of course with my luck didn't notice this until I looked at her hands AFTER the massage.  Had I seen this before I would have NEVER let her touch me.

I cut myself right before I went into the parlor on my car door and  had a small gash not very deep on my arm.

What I am concerned about is that I cannot be sure that she didn't rub or touch the gash with those horrible hands.  The hands were so bad that I went back to the parlor to see if I could get a hold of the towel she used to see if there was any blood.  Of course, she had already put it in the laundry so I couldn't see if there was any blood from her hands.

I asked her again about the hands and she prommissed me that they don't bleed and that they are just chaffed and rough from doing so many massages.  But how can I be sure.  then the massage parlor owner came over to me and said she was at first concerned about the hands, but she doesn't think they bleed either.  BUT THEY LOOKED HORRIBLE! and I am not sure.

1. could blood from her hands come in contact with the small cut I got and infected me?
2. Should I get tested?
3. Should I still have sex with my wife? We have a young baby.  I am very worried.

Experts please help.  DO I NEED A TEST AND CAN I TOUCH MY WIFE?

Chip


Offline Ann

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Re: Completely Freaked, Andy and Ann, please help
« Reply #49 on: October 05, 2007, 05:03:08 PM »
Chip,

You were in no way in any danger of hiv infection. NONE. You were not at risk and neither is your wife or baby. You do not need to be tested.

Please continue working with your therapist to learn how to cope with your anxieties. We cannot help you with that here.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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