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Author Topic: Homophobic Brother-in-laws  (Read 2396 times)

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Offline Ihavehope

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Homophobic Brother-in-laws
« on: January 29, 2007, 11:11:04 AM »

I feel like I am trapped in a sea of straight men with zero personalities.I love my family, my blood family, but my brother in laws are just UGH.... No words to explain.

So i have my older sister(second mommy) who I adore. She is your typical Latino Bronx girl who complains about everything in her life and thinks she is God's gift to the world. She married this cute Latino boy who has a personality of a peanut. They been married for 7 years and have 2 beautiful girls. Then I have a cousin who is about my age, 27, who married a Jamaican Football/Karate/Baseball Jock who is 6'4" and muscular. They both drink beer, burp and watch sports. On Christmas and all the family events I feel out of place. I am not out to them because they are just dumb guys who I am sure will not understand but when I am with them I just wanna run out screaming because it's all about sports and drinking. I dont mind the cocktails but the beer is too fatning. How can I kinna avoid them without being bitchy. I wanna watch E channel and Project Runway or something more appealing to me but I feel like that would be a dead give away. The only thing we have in common is alcohol and now I have to cut down on that. What is a gay boy to do?
« Last Edit: January 29, 2007, 11:12:40 AM by Ihavehope »
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,119
  • HIV+ since 1993. Relentlessly gay.
Re: Homophobic Brother-in-laws
« Reply #1 on: January 29, 2007, 11:23:41 AM »
If you want to establish some kind of relationship with them, which is your choice, you need to find something you have in common besides alcohol. Don't assume because you are gay they can't like you. Don't assume because they are straight jocks they don't have any other interests. What kind of work do they do? Why did he choose karate instead of on of the other martial arts? They would probably be interested in some funny stories about your sister growing up.

Offline Ihavehope

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: Homophobic Brother-in-laws
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2007, 11:26:10 AM »
Yea perhaps your right about them being cool about me being gay, but I think they kinna distance themselves from me because they already have the suspicion that I am gay. They are just a couple of drunk jocks who don't have much to talk about. One is a truck driver the other works for a fortune 500 company as a financial advisor. It's just awkward, I am just gonna have to be myself i guess and let destiny carry itself.
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline Basquo

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  • Posts: 3,376
Re: Homophobic Brother-in-laws
« Reply #3 on: January 29, 2007, 12:03:09 PM »
Play with the kids or spend time with the women in the kitchen.  If the huys are boring, why even hang out with them?

Offline bear60

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  • Posts: 4,105
Re: Homophobic Brother-in-laws
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2007, 02:09:51 PM »
What is a gay boy to do?
We gay boys have to stick together!!!! There should be an etiquitte book on this!!!
When those brothers in law settle down to watch the game on TV, you take the hint and make yourself scarce.  There is nothing more annoying than a gay guy who asks..." What are they doing now?" or "Whats a first down?"
I know.....my boyfriend turns into a sports nut during Eagles games. He hates my being in the same room because I dont really GET IT. Well, except for the fact that the butts are really special.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Val

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  • Posts: 938
  • Praxitèles -- Satyre au repos
Re: Homophobic Brother-in-laws
« Reply #5 on: January 29, 2007, 04:06:59 PM »
Well Ihavehope, consider yourself lucky in that apparently only your in-laws are homophobic. 
Consider my situation: 
"Almost all of my brothers are homophobic!" But, you know what, I attended the best school in the world (they didn't 'cause they were afraid of leaving the nest), I dress much better than they do, make much more money, therefore, am way wealthier than they are;  and, on top of all that, I was my mom's favourite!
Some of them --- not all, thank goodness --- hate me just for the latter...
So, "What's a gay man to do?"
Be first in each and every aspect of family life.  Dress better than them.  Look better and be prepared for a lot of sacrifice 'cause it ain't easy to always be on top...!

P.S. I'd be more than glad to give you some more advices on how to beat the odds against them...! ;)
Arthus Bertrand
Ali Mahdavi
Richard de Chazal
Daniel Nassoy
The word comes from the Greek words φως phos ("light"), and γραφίς graphis ("stylus", "paintbrush") or γραφή graphê, together meaning "drawing with light" or "representation by means of lines".

Offline dtwpuck

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,013
  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: Homophobic Brother-in-laws
« Reply #6 on: January 29, 2007, 05:26:01 PM »
Oooh, I have a homophobic brother-in-law....  he's Inuit, drinks a lot, and loves football, and is really loud.  He tries to tolerate me, but, well, he's not smart enough to figure out how.  Anyway, I don't pretend to like football so I can be around my sister and my nephew.  I don't really care whether or not he approves of me and don't really like him anyway.  However, I am civil.  When I am at my sister's house and football comes on, I go to the kitchen.  The last time I was there, I helped my nephew fix his bike and his computer.  Then, I showed my sister how to de-vein shrimp without it taking all day.  You see, he has to tolerate me because I am family.  And he REALLY has to tolerate me now because I am the one who posted the bail to get his lazy ass out of jail on a DUI, but, hey, that's just me being the good brother-in-law, right.  heeeeee
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline CaptCarl

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  • Posts: 1,114
  • Located in the Palinsville subdivision, JesusLand
Re: Homophobic Brother-in-laws
« Reply #7 on: January 29, 2007, 05:26:10 PM »
I have a few relatives like this, and personally, I really don'tgive a flying fuck what they think. Their loss not mine. I cannot pretend to be something that I am not, especially if somebody else is the one with the problem. Of  course, when they can't fix their own cars and I do it for them, well what else do I need to say? As usual, Fags to the Rescue!!!! ;)
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,376
Re: Homophobic Brother-in-laws
« Reply #8 on: January 29, 2007, 08:33:02 PM »
Play with the kids or spend time with the women in the kitchen.  If the huys are boring, why even hang out with them?

I am lucky in that the relatives who know are more concerned about my health; the ones who don't know are three steps from a home.  My cousins' husbands don't say a word since I did the flowers for their weddings.  If my brother-in-law ever said anything about me being gay, positive or not, my sister most likely gave him a bloody nose for appearances, and boxed his ears for spite.  Big sisters, Gemini or not, eventually move from torturing to coveting their little brothers.

My reply was flippant. It's just what I would do, hypothetically, if I was in that situation.

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: Homophobic Brother-in-laws
« Reply #9 on: January 29, 2007, 10:30:12 PM »

Poor IHaveHope.... I can understand you situation.. Something similar happens to me with some people at work.. I mean, they are nice, but suddenly, tha STRAIGHT gene comes in.. So they become sport fans, speak loud, and drink a LOT of beer....

What I do... I have my cel phone ready to pick up some emergency call to get me out of there.. Sometimes I thank God for being gay... Can you imagine the ABSOLUTE lack of style, and pathetic sense manners?...


Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....


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