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Author Topic: today my world was crushed  (Read 2289 times)

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Offline yowsaa

  • Member
  • Posts: 86
today my world was crushed
« on: January 28, 2007, 01:39:52 AM »
had stuff i had to do out of town from 10-5 pm today, when I came home, all my wife's stuff was gone and she left me a letter saying it's over. 8 years total now poof.

Were we happy, no. Was I content, yes. Totally shell shocked.

Offline marc11864

  • Member
  • Posts: 440
  • I apologize for nothing!
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2007, 02:00:27 AM »
Wow... sorry to hear guy. Try to hang in there. I believe that everything happen for a reason and that reason is to help us grow.
Let us cavort like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean.

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2007, 03:06:08 AM »
I was sorry to hear this..but I think Marc is right, things happen for a reaason..if you weren't happy then the marriage wouldn't have lasted for much longer anyway...there is more to marriage than just being content.

However, I do think your wife could have talked to you about this instead of just walking out...would it have made a difference?..from what you have said I don't really think it would...I know it must be hard for you but I think in time you will realize it's probably for the best.

Thinking of you

Hugs
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline yowsaa

  • Member
  • Posts: 86
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2007, 03:52:02 AM »
Hmmm, what can I say. Her other 3 marriages she walked out within 2 years tops, with nothing. My quick calcs put the cost to me at 150-200k, if I get off easy.

Great, alone and hiv+. Aint this life f'n grand. She took both cats to boot. Leaves me with 38k in credit card debt she racked up.

Mended my ways long ago and really thought I was a much better person. Went way above and beyond to help her and her children. Wow, was I used big time. When do good things happen to good people ?
« Last Edit: January 28, 2007, 04:16:44 AM by yowsaa »

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2007, 04:44:44 AM »
Hello from a fellow Canuck, Yowsaa.

Mended my ways long ago and really thought I was a much better person. Went way above and beyond to help her and her children. Wow, was I used big time.

Sorry to hear what's happened. Iíve known loss too. Itís not easy, but thereís always something to be learned in life.

There is an old Welsh saying that says:

ďAdversity and loss make a man wise.Ē

Which is to say, although we have no control over other peopleís choices, we do have every control over how we respond to them. That may not be much comfort at this point, but itís nonetheless a truth.

Maybe it's time to be good to you now,

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline yowsaa

  • Member
  • Posts: 86
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #5 on: January 28, 2007, 05:55:21 AM »
As I walk around my "empty" home, it is still 95% furnishedLeather couches, big screen TV, oak kitchen set, etc. What little furnishings she had; coffee and end tables, pictures of her family, knick knacks, etc is what's missing.

I covered 100% of living expenses, majority of food, etc. She has a good job $40k. Which was all spent on her kids and grandkids. eg: Twice flew them all to Disney World.... for a weekend. Did I bitch being left to cover all expenses, no. Always scared to wear cologne the past 8 years as she would accuse me of cheating. Sunday I put buckets of it on !

Where I see the trouble coming is all the appreciated tangible assets I've purchased together. Though with my own cash, I had her name added to 3 different properties and a pre-wedding property I had changed to a rental. I bought my mother a house outright and kept it in moms name. Hopefully that is not touchable. I have a pre-wedding 6 figure single stock portfolio. But if she goes for that too, I'll hit the friggen roof.

That's it, I'm turning gay ! Where do I sign up ?

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,286
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2007, 06:02:20 AM »
Quote
That's it, I'm turning gay ! Where do I sign up ?


I would think twice about that. You think women are bad, guys are worse when it comes to using and taking. You just need a good attorney.

Offline fondeveau

  • Member
  • Posts: 425
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #7 on: January 28, 2007, 07:45:18 AM »
And, in Canada, you can marry that man.  Definitely, the men or women you need in your life right now are attorneys, friends, and AM forum buddies?  I can't imagine that, if the marriage was less than two years as her others were, that she would be awarded a great deal in assets, but....keep us posted and best of luck.  It hurts.

Offline Oh501sguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 113
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #8 on: January 28, 2007, 10:10:26 AM »
I'm very sorry to hear this.  She took the cowards way out.  Take time for yourself and heal.  You are not alone.  Don't ever feel that way.

Think of it as a new chapter and move forward.

Yes, men are much worse than women, but there are some good men out there too.   

Chuck


Offline Razorbill

  • Member
  • Posts: 622
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2007, 10:29:49 AM »
Sorry to hear about your problem.  Two things one short: Get a lawyer.
and somewhat longer: real relationships are give and take - that includes money.  you made a big booboo shelling out, I have yet to see that work out for the sheller.

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2007, 10:30:57 AM »
My ex left me pretty much the same way.  I came home from work and found a note on my PC monitor.  It said "I've left and am not coming back. You need to find somewhere else to live because we have to sell the house.  I'll call you in a few days."  Talk about shocked, I couldn't believe it.  

Well, here I am, with the same 4 cats (plus 1 additional), in the same house, but with a husband this time.  I met him online within 3 weeks of her leaving and we spent 13 of the next 14 days together.  A few months later, he moved in.  That was in '99.  She and I (and my husband) are all good friends today.  

The point is that, as others have said, things happen for a reason.  In my case, that's the only way my ex could leave me.  She knew that I would try and change her mind if she told me in person, which I would have.  It did happen for the best, but that doesn't lessen the pain, shock, and anger at the time.  Good luck in dealing with it all.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline marc11864

  • Member
  • Posts: 440
  • I apologize for nothing!
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #11 on: January 28, 2007, 10:32:14 AM »
"That's it, I'm turning gay ! Where do I sign up ?"

Actually, I would send you the forms but my ex took them in the settlement  ;D
Let us cavort like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean.

Offline dtwpuck

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,013
  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2007, 12:49:05 PM »


That's it, I'm turning gay ! Where do I sign up ?

Well, despite all of the obvious benefits to being gay... having partners who behave responsibly during break ups is not one of them.

However, I think the way she left you is cowardly.  No one deserves that.  My heart goes out to you.
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline pozguy75

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,239
    • POZitively Speaking
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #13 on: January 28, 2007, 02:30:24 PM »
I agree with everyone else here...the way she did it is cowardly and selfish!

as for going gay...again, men do the same thing...it's definitely not any easier, I can tell you that!

I am truly sorry to hear this! Get yourself a good attorney and good luck to you my friend!
Dx 2005
ATRIPLA

Offline fondeveau

  • Member
  • Posts: 425
Re: today my world was crushed
« Reply #14 on: January 28, 2007, 07:14:38 PM »
But, if you should decide to go gay, please forward a complete financial disclosure and I promise not to behave in a cowardly way, should we eventually determine that we have irreconcilable differences.

 


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