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Author Topic: Do you ever forget sometimes?  (Read 2434 times)

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Offline Seven

  • Member
  • Posts: 108
Do you ever forget sometimes?
« on: January 26, 2007, 12:25:32 AM »
We all have our good days and bad days, but I swear sometimes I forget I am positive, until the damn alarm on my phone goes off to remind me to take my pills. I could be in the middle of a movie, a late dinner, laughing with friends, the my phone goes off...my friends are like...oh text message? HUH...I WISH!

Do you guys ever forget...or is it just me?  :-\

Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2007, 12:36:02 AM »
Seven,
I'm into this just over a year.  I will say that I go for long periods and not think about being positive now.  Of course, the daily meds are a reminder of sorts.  I take mine at 6 AM every morning.  But sometimes I find that I don't even think about what they are for now. I just take them.  So yes, I guess I do forget I'm positive sometimes.....  But not for long yet...
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline ndrew

  • Member
  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2007, 12:38:21 AM »
Seven,

I think this is an interesting question.  I probably do sometimes forget, but I think for the most part it is a portion of who I am and something out of my control.  I cannot change it, I can just take care of me.  Although I think when you are feeling good or healthy, it is easier to accept it.  I guess I do forget, but I think it is always there in my mind, the alien virus in my blood that makes me different...

Drew

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2007, 12:43:49 AM »


   I don't think it is that I forget in as much that it is not the most over riding thought in my mind anymore like it once was.   Fortunately, I have had little or no side effects  with the Atripla I am on, med time has been fairly easy.    I do feel for my girl though.  She is on a 4 med combo and sometimes get's nausea from it.   It kind of brings the whole thing into reality for me.  All I really have to do is think back about 2 months ago.  The memory with how I felt then is still very fresh in my mind.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,109
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #4 on: January 26, 2007, 01:21:57 AM »
When you inject yourself with fuzeon twice a day and all the vials in syringes are spread all over your kitchen table you tend to recall vaguely that you're, in fact, HIV+
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline racingmind

  • Member
  • Posts: 236
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2007, 01:43:48 AM »
yeah, I have fleeting moments now and then...usually when I'm laughing with friends because everything is so "normal".....and you realize that you are, in fact, the same person.  Life goes on...I just find myself having to catch up every once in a while. 
Tested Negative: 5/06
Tested Positive: 9/06 
9/06: CD4: 442 (28%) VL: +100,000
10/06: CD4: 323 (25%) VL: 243,440
11/06: CD4: 405 (28%) VL: 124,324
12/06: CD4: 450 (29%) VL: 114,600
1/07: CD4: 440 (27%) VL: 75,286
3/07: CD4: 459 (30%) VL: 44,860
5/07: CD4: 353 (24%) VL: 50,852
7/07: CD4: 437 (29%) VL: 39,475
9/07: CD4: 237 (32%) VL: 372,774
10/07: CD4: 324 (27%) VL: 115,454 
Started Atripla: 10/07
11/07: CD4: 524 (?%) VL: Undetectable!
2/08: CD4: 653 (35%) VL: undetectable
5/08: CD4: 822 (40%) VL: undetectable
8/08: CD4: 626 (35%) VL: undetectable
12/08: CD4: 619 (36%) VL: undetectable
3/09: CD4: 802 (38%) VL: undetectable
7/09: CD4: 1027 (43%) VL: not tested
10/09: CD4: 1045 (43%) VL: undetectable

Offline Coffeechick88

  • Member
  • Posts: 431
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #6 on: January 26, 2007, 04:45:11 AM »
The meds are daily reminders and the appointments every 3 months are, but other than that, I can truely say I forget.  I guess it is because I've moved into acceptance, I'm more confident with myself, and I realize that I am not defined from it.
Lucas James is here
Born 6-14-08 at 1233 am
8 lbs 14 oz, 22 in long

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,398
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #7 on: January 26, 2007, 07:18:12 AM »
Like Thomas, I don't think I ever forget I have HIV. But it isn't the predominant thing on my mind most of the time.

I have plenty of reminders throughout the day, both because of meds and because of my job.

It doesn't stop me from enjoying life or continuing with my "normal" things like movies, etc., except I have to time dinners, lucheons, etc., to mesh with my Crix meal schedule.

I am pretty lucky.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline koi1

  • Member
  • Posts: 713
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2007, 07:59:01 AM »
I asked a guy I met through my sister this question. He has been poz for 21 years (known). He says he thinks about it every single day. I think about it every day too. I wish I could forget about it, but I am on meds now, so every time meds time rolls around I definitely know. But I also think how lucky I am that with a few pills once a night I can stay alive. I think " Wow these pills are keeping me alive." My dreams are fun on the meds though. I just woke up from a dream where I took a trip to France with my whole family. I was enjoying the deserts. And you you know what. I did not have AIDS in the dream.

rob
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline redhotmuslbear

  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • A genuine certified freak of nature, and a hot one
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2007, 10:32:17 AM »
For me, it's was an issue not dwelling on being HIV+.  I don't consciously ponder my height, weight, race, ethnicity, hair color, eye color, hirsuteness, masculinity, or other medical issues on a regular basis, except when they become an issue;  so why should my HIV status be any different.

When I was diagnosed in 1998, it was like coming out all over again--a fact about me was made known that I simply could not hide from anymore.  It can discomfort others when they learn about it, but I'm not going to let it limit me or keep me immobile in a trance or in fear.

Cheers,
David
"The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." - BF Skinner
12-31-09   222wks VL  2430 CD4 690 (37%)
09-30-09   208wks VL  2050  CD4 925 (42%)
06-25-08   143wks VL  1359  CD4 668 (32%)  CD8 885
02-11-08   123wks off meds:  VL 1364 CD4 892(40%/0.99 ratio)
10-19-07   112wks off meds:   VL 292  CD4 857(37%/0.85 ratio)

One copy of delta-32 for f*****d up CCR5 receptors, and an HLA B44+ allele for "CD8-mediated immunity"... beteer than winning Powerball, almost!

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #10 on: January 26, 2007, 10:46:06 AM »
I'm on here every day.  So yeah I always think about it.  But its changed.  I like my HIV.  I mean if I could evict it I would, but its not like I really have a choice do I?  My HIV has brought me closer to friends and family.  It has given me a new perspective on life and the sufferings of others.  I had a cousin who died of brain cancer last year, he was 1 month older than me, he had a wife and 9 year old daughter.  Would he trade me?  I think he would have!  It has given me a new wife and bestfriend.  I have a beautiful new home 1 block from my parents and 3 blocks from my sister.  I have a new family here on aidsmeds and have helped others which always feels good.

So do I think about it?  Yeah, all the time.  And as things stand Ive got more reasons to be happy to have it right now than not.  Jesus, never really thought about it quite like that until just now.  Im sure that it may change and there are aspects of it that OBVIOUSLY suck ass.  But hey, I read a book once where a guy was complaining about his problems and his dad looked at him and said "son YOU dont have problems, take a look at that quadrapalegic guy over there, HE has problems. You have inconveniences, HE has problems.  But if you ask him, he would tell you that he doesnt have it so bad.  So dont come telling me how bad you think you have it."  And this always got me thinking, when I think i have it bad, I think of a pediatric cancer unit or a burn unit.  I dont have it bad.  Im still very blessed even with my cooties!
« Last Edit: January 26, 2007, 10:57:27 AM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #11 on: January 26, 2007, 10:52:40 AM »
I asked a guy I met through my sister this question. He has been poz for 21 years (known). He says he thinks about it every single day. I think about it every day too. I wish I could forget about it, but I am on meds now, so every time meds time rolls around I definitely know. But I also think how lucky I am that with a few pills once a night I can stay alive. I think " Wow these pills are keeping me alive." My dreams are fun on the meds though. I just woke up from a dream where I took a trip to France with my whole family. I was enjoying the deserts. And you you know what. I did not have AIDS in the dream.

rob

The dreams can be fun.  Its almost like the movie Total Recall where they implant vacations and stuff in your brain as memories!  I swear to god they are that vivid sometimes!!!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #12 on: January 26, 2007, 10:54:20 AM »
No, I never forget. But, it has become part of what I am, I don't like it, but I accept what it is, and I have learned to live with it.

Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline Ihavehope

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #13 on: January 26, 2007, 11:15:15 AM »
I can't speak for everyone else but now when I learned I was positive I felt like there is not time to waste on being bored, upset and as depresed as I was before knowing because now I know there is a nasty virus in me who wants to bring me down. I can't imagine living my life giving up now and beating myself up over this on a daily basis so I push myself to do things that I never thought I would do. Like? Telling my family and friends how much i love them, enjoying the company of uncles and cousins who I once disliked, Apologizing for things I may have done or said to people and most importantaly take better care of my body, regaining my religious faith and not doing any drugs!

 What's funny is that every little moment where i am laughing and happy and feel good i feel like time is going by so slowly and I feel proud of myself for taking charge of my emotions. Laughing and feeling loved is my new high. But as you probably know, there are also very rough moments especially when I wait for my results, know I am heading to medications real soon and hiding this from my family has been a nightmare. I also go through 10 different emotions in one day because I constantly remember I am poz. So I personally don't think you will forget that u are HIV for a long period time but when you do it feels so good. Enjoy those instant moments.

Anyhow, i think
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline blondbeauty

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,784
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #14 on: January 26, 2007, 01:27:34 PM »
Yes I forget most of the time. Ehen I was diagnosed I promised I wouldn´t be bothered by silly things again...But now I am again doing it.  :-\
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
Last V.L.count (Oct 2013): Undetectable
Last CD4 count (OCT 2013): 52%= 933

Offline redhotmuslbear

  • Member
  • Posts: 605
  • A genuine certified freak of nature, and a hot one
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #15 on: January 26, 2007, 01:43:12 PM »
Yes I forget most of the time. Ehen I was diagnosed I promised I wouldn´t be bothered by silly things again...But now I am again doing it.  :-\ 


Define 'silly' ... the drug store running out of your hair color before a big date?  a cocktail party substituting Ritz crackers for crostini?

I save my anger for deserving situations, like General Motors and a local Chevy dealer dinking around with my 3 year-old vehicle for three months.... they think I'm going to be a good homo and lick up their crumbs, but they will be sorely mistaken when I'm through.
"The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." - BF Skinner
12-31-09   222wks VL  2430 CD4 690 (37%)
09-30-09   208wks VL  2050  CD4 925 (42%)
06-25-08   143wks VL  1359  CD4 668 (32%)  CD8 885
02-11-08   123wks off meds:  VL 1364 CD4 892(40%/0.99 ratio)
10-19-07   112wks off meds:   VL 292  CD4 857(37%/0.85 ratio)

One copy of delta-32 for f*****d up CCR5 receptors, and an HLA B44+ allele for "CD8-mediated immunity"... beteer than winning Powerball, almost!

Offline Javicho

  • Member
  • Posts: 268
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #16 on: January 26, 2007, 02:15:22 PM »
I will say yes I forget most of the times, but when I have doctor's appointment and have to draw some blod yeah I know why is that for. Other than that totally fine  8)

J.

Offline marco23

  • Member
  • Posts: 392
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #17 on: January 26, 2007, 02:26:12 PM »
I admit..I do forget but then I always remember when I meet someone and he's interested in me...I've had several experiences where I disclosed and he disappears...So anytime someone shows an interest, I remember.
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline Brian360

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
  • Just livin' it up until the sun goes down.
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #18 on: January 26, 2007, 07:31:22 PM »
Is it being forgetful?  Or just the fact that you really haven't had to take pills on a regular basis for most of your life and your subconscious blocks the reality until you look at the pill bottles in your medicine cabinent or bathroom sink.  Or is a part of the HIV/AIDS dementia problem??

Although I've been positive since mid-2004, I really hadn't stuck to a regimen until July 2005. Until my current doctor ordered the "big" pill box for all my meds, I thought I was taking them on schedule until this last Tcell count dropped from 92 to 27 in 30 days.

It would be nice if we could funnel some of the funds meant for NASA and this nonsense of space exploration into some serious AIDS research.

Brian
July06: Tcells 0, VL >+750,000
Aug06: TCells 22, VL 214,000
Sep06: TCells 32, VL 34,500
Oct06: TCells 92, VL 9,560
Dec06: Tcells 27, VL 25,000
Jan07: Tcells 43, VL - un-detect
Jan10: TCells 111 - popped to 160 fall 09, VL  undectable since Oct. 07

Offline tsw923

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: Do you ever forget sometimes?
« Reply #19 on: January 26, 2007, 09:56:43 PM »
I don't know that I forget completely.  I mean I take my pills every night at 11.  Can't forget why you're taking 3 pills.   :o  But I don't obsess every day like I did when I first found out.  Now I find that I do it in spurts... when something happens and I really can't get around my HIV status, like watching some of those lovely birth control commericals or when I start thinking about having kids, etc.  Its always there in the back of my mind, but I try not to let it rule everything.  It's just another part of me.

Ty
Help find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, and other blood-related cancers by sponsoring me as I walk a 1/2 marathon as a part of the Maryland chapter of Team in Training.  To find out more and to donate, please click on the following site:  http://www.active.com/donate/tntmd/tswtntmd

 


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