Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
August 20, 2014, 07:06:45 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 635355
  • Total Topics: 48192
  • Online Today: 269
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" POZ forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future POZ Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all POZ and AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Oral on female  (Read 12432 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
I am so confused. I thought Oral was safe....
« Reply #50 on: October 25, 2007, 12:42:11 PM »

I thought that performing and receivig Oral was safe....  The saliva has an effect on the virus which makes it almost impossibleto be infected.

i performed and received oral sex - 69 while on a business trip. i thought nothing of it since I thought oral was as safe as you can get. I never have any symtoms of seroconversion.

I did brush my teeth about an hour before the oral so I am thinking maybe there were little cuts on my gums? although my mouth was not bleeding...

anyways, after my business trip I return home and have sex with my girl. Exactly 13 days later she comes down with a serious fever, bad body aches, nausea, dizziness, sharp localized pains in her head, and generally feels very weak. She equates the body pains to a very very bad period where her whole back in flaring up. She is in bed for a couple of days, whenever she gets out of bed she gets dizzy and nauseus and has to go lay down again. On the third day the fever is almost gone but she now has diarea, her body is flushing something out. On the fourth day she is 90%, everything is returning to normal.

I feel practically suicidal. if I had developed any symtpoms I would have been tested before any chance of passing it along. I am frankly in shock at the likelyhood that i got hiv from performing oral sex.

I have contacted the person with whom i had oral and they claim that they are negative and got tested 5 months ago. I am sceptical because they are a pro so i feel like even if they knew they were poz they would not want to admit it because then they should not be working... in fact they even said on the phone, "I am definitely clean, otherwise I would not be working"....


can someone explain how this happened?    how did I get get and pass on hiv through oral sex?   





Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,551
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #51 on: October 25, 2007, 01:02:36 PM »
Fan, please keep your comments in one thread. I've merged the one you just began with your previous entries. Thanks for your cooperation.

So tell me, do you have some magical built-in HIV tester so that you know your gf is HIV positive? If so, that's pretty impressive. What it really is -- is nonsense.

Let's get the picture here. You're a dawg and you went straying on your girlfriend. You come back and she comes down with whatever she's come down with and you decide in your infinite wisdom that 1) you are now HIV positive and 2) have passed it on to her and she has quickly manifested evidence of same.

Naw, ain't gonna happen, Fandango.

You weren't at risk in this latest incident. This is just your mind going at you for going wandering on your gf. She should be seeing a doctor for her symptoms if they persist. As for you, I don't see any need for testing unless you are going to inflate this drama and hold on to it. In which case get tested at 13 weeks and collect the inevitable negative result. This is NOT an HIV situation. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #52 on: October 25, 2007, 01:11:31 PM »
Andy,

thank you for the no-nonsense truth. It is what I need.

Believe me when I say that I REALLY do not want to hold onto this one. I want to be able to let it go.

My only concern is that when I was performing oral I am pretty sure I tasted a little pre-cum because afterwards there was a bitter taste in my mouth. i have read that there is a Small risk from giving blow jobs.  Please can you elaborate on what risk is and why I should not be worried about it.

I know the rules, focus only on the exposure, never on the symptoms, always use a condom for insertive & receptive sex, and you are in the clear.

I have been trying to do this, but the combination of guilt, paranoia, fear and (what to me appears to be textbook symptoms) is making it difficult for me to let go.


Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #53 on: October 25, 2007, 01:13:49 PM »


also, sorry about the new post. I didn't think about my old one and wasn't aware I should add to it for a new topic.

Hopefully I will not need to ever remember that again..


Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #54 on: October 25, 2007, 01:55:41 PM »
fan,

Transmission occuring through giving a blowjob is more theoretical than anything. If it happens at all, it's pretty rare. It's highly unlikely that your girlfriend's illness has anything to do with hiv. The bottom line is - if you're in doubt, test. I'd fully expect you to test negative, given your circumstance.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #55 on: October 25, 2007, 02:07:28 PM »

ok,

I am going to trust in the experts and put it all behind me.

if you guys say i am in the clear then I must be (you have proved to me before that you know much better than me...)

if I am still feeling paranoid about this in 2 months I will test but hopefully this will be forgoten by then.

thank you all very much.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,551
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #56 on: October 25, 2007, 02:10:59 PM »
You're welcome.

Hopefully you will just let this go. And as you said, if you can't do that, then test and collect the inevitable negative for your collection.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #57 on: October 26, 2007, 01:19:18 PM »

I am having a very hard time letting this go. i cannot help but think that it is highly irresponsible for me to let this go when there is glaring evidence that i might be infected and that I have infected the person closest to me.

the spiked fever, chills in bed, painful body aches, diarea, weakness, fatigue, acute headaches, for 4 days (but not the flu because no congestion, no caugh). what are the chances that someone would randomly come down with those symptoms exactly 2 weeks after having sex with me? how is it possible for me to simply overlook all that and assume that it must have been some unknown random illness that just happen to exibit exactly the symptoms of seroconversion...

what do you mean by infection through giving oral is theoretical?  does that just mean that you do not believe the people who claim to have been infected this way? I sometimes have gingevitis, i brushed my teeth before hooking up, maybe I had little cuts in my mouth or around my gums. why is it so improbable to be infected this way? 

I put this behind me most of the time and then suddenly I remember that there is strong evidence to suggets that I am +. i then panizk, get hot, sweat, my heart rate rises and I think that I must do something. I must get tested, I must disclose what happened, even given the consequences...





 

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,551
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #58 on: October 26, 2007, 02:03:15 PM »

the spiked fever, chills in bed, painful body aches, diarea, weakness, fatigue, acute headaches, for 4 days (but not the flu because no congestion, no caugh). what are the chances that someone would randomly come down with those symptoms exactly 2 weeks after having sex with me? how is it possible for me to simply overlook all that and assume that it must have been some unknown random illness that just happen to exibit exactly the symptoms of seroconversion...

YOU CHEATED AND YOUR MIND IS DRIVING YOU CRAZY. THAT'S WHAT THIS IS REALLY ABOUT WHETHER YOU BELIEVE ME OR NOT. NONE OF THOSE SYMPTOMS ARE REMOTELY HIV SPECIFIC. AND THE CHANCES OF THEM HAPPENING IN THE EVERYDAY WORLD ARE VERY COMMON INDEED. WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT!

 
what do you mean by infection through giving oral is theoretical?  does that just mean that you do not believe the people who claim to have been infected this way? I sometimes have gingevitis, i brushed my teeth before hooking up, maybe I had little cuts in my mouth or around my gums. why is it so improbable to be infected this way? 

THEORETICAL MEANS IT COULD. BUT WE KNOW FROM THE REAL WORLD OF HIV SCIENCE THAT OFTEN SITUATIONS ATTRIBUTED TO SUCH AN ACTIVITY UPON MORE SCRUPULOUS EXAMINATION TURN OUT TO HAVE OTHER RISK ELEMENTS INVOLVED EITHER THEN OR IN THE PAST.

AND AS FOR YOUR MAYBES, YOU CAN SELF INDULGE IN ALL OF THAT "STUFF" YOU CHOOSE TO AND CONTINUE TO DRIVE YOURSELF CRAZY TO NO GOOD PURPOSE.
 
I put this behind me most of the time and then suddenly I remember that there is strong evidence to suggets that I am +. i then panizk, get hot, sweat, my heart rate rises and I think that I must do something. I must get tested, I must disclose what happened, even given the consequences...

THERE IS NO SUCH STRONG EVIDENCE. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD, FELLA.

THIS IS ABOUT GUILT.

Andy Velez

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #59 on: October 26, 2007, 02:45:12 PM »


Oh Andy, how I hope and pray that you are right.

This thing really has me scared. It is far worse to be worried about what you may have done to someone else than to worry about yourself. i am not religious but if I made her + i surely deserve to burn in hell.

the crazy thing is that I only performed oral for less then a minute but that bitter taste in my mouth make me think that there must have been pre-cum, and that is what is worrying meso much. I know that when I analyse the risk of exposure I am very lo risk but then i think about my girl and get panicked...

thanks for your help

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #60 on: October 26, 2007, 02:55:14 PM »

I remember thinking when she forst got sick, 'this is not hiv'  'the exposure is impossible', 'don't freak yourself out', 'this is iompossible!' but then the symptoms seemed to be so unlike anything else.

The body aches especilly have me worried. I thought that they were very common symtoms of seroconversion and i cannot think of anything else that causes body aches all over.

she also works out regularly, and is in good shape, that makes me think that the virus would manifest itself faster (i.e. 13 days) and that maybe her bosy would have a greater reaction to it - i.e. bed ridden, high fever etc..

the fact that I never experienced any symptoms at all gives me a slight sense of optomism, although I know that it shouldn't.

yet again I am going to try and put this behind me. hopefully this latest effort will last longer than one day...

thank you SO much for your patience. you are like my patron saint of sanity...



Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #61 on: October 29, 2007, 05:58:26 PM »


Got tested today and it was negative.

I am sure none of you are surprised but I wanted to be thorough and close out the story.

thank you everyone and especially Andy.

happy halloween!

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #62 on: November 05, 2007, 02:34:28 PM »

Hey guys,

I am trying to give advice to a friend that had a strange incident. I have said there is nothing to worry about but I thought I should check with the experts.

Protected sex with a pro in thailand. Aparently the condom or sex was very tight and the little sperm collector at the top of the condom become stretched out over the top of the penis. Nothing broke, but the friction caused by the little cap around the tip of the penis caused the circular cut/ firction burn around the very tip (surrounding the eye).

The condom never broke. When the sex was done the masseuse/ pro removed the condom and commented on the cut.

I am sayingn that having used a condom there is no risk and that HIV is very fragile and does not survive in the air. But my buddy now has one very swollen gland and a hollow cough and is freaking out about the possibility of juiced from the outside of the condom coming in contact with the open cut/ burn on his penis.

I keep saying that glands get swollen all the time and that even if there was contact, he would be safe but I am not 100% sure.

Any advice would be welcome.

thank you,

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #63 on: November 05, 2007, 02:53:38 PM »
No since the sex your "friend" reports is not one where HIV would be transmitted. "He" wore a condom and therefore the sex was protected.

MtD

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #64 on: November 05, 2007, 02:59:14 PM »

Thanks Matty,

This is genuinely not for me this time. (if it were i would be much more of a spaz are per all my other posts...)

Just wanted to check my facts before giving advice.


Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,228
  • Ninja Please
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #65 on: November 05, 2007, 03:00:49 PM »
Yeah, well this is the last time I answer questions for your "friend" in your thread. If your "friend" wants to ask us a question he can apply for his own account and ask them himself.

MtD

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Rectal Mucus
« Reply #66 on: November 05, 2007, 03:06:40 PM »

sure thing, Matty.

didn't mean to offend or break any rules. I did not refer this site because I was embarassed about all the information I have posted on here. I would not want a close frined to link my user name to me and learn of all the devience I have done. very selfish and wrong I know, but I tried to make up for it by giving as much advice as i can.

I appreciate your position and can only apologize for the position I took. Again I do not mean to offen I love this site and everyone that works on it.

thank you,

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Oral on female
« Reply #67 on: July 22, 2008, 10:17:41 PM »

Hi everyone,

I think (hope) I just need a little confirmation that I am ok.

I was at a bachelor party, everyone was way too drunk when we went to a strip club. At the club a worker gave me a private dance where she bent over and stuck her crotch in my face. being too drunk to know any better I started licking, eating and probing her with my tongue. after the 3 songs I felt disgusted with myself and went to the bathroom where I rinsed my face and mouth and gargled with listerine.

Also, I am a non smoker but that night i must have smoked over 15 cigarettes in the space of 4-5 hours...

I got home and threw up, rinsed with water and passed out..

the next day my throat felt a little irritated but that went away with breakfast. Also, in the afternoon of the following day i noticed that the little flap of skin that attaches the tongue to the underside of the mouth was irritated at the very bottom. felt a little raw, that made me worry that maybe it had been raw enough to warrant exposure to HIV while performing cunnilingus?? (although the i don't remember feeling any discomfort during the night in question, or when I gargled with listenrine, which would have probably made it sting if it was irritated?. I want to believe that the caused the mouth irritation the day after, although I don;t know if I am kidding myself)

2-3 days later my glands on my throat swelled to the size of golf balls and they are both really tender to the touch. My throat has also progressively gotten more sore to the point that it now hurts considerably to swallow (it is now 4 days since the incident which happened thursday night)


I know that the smoking is probably largely to blame for the throat irritation, and I known that oral sex is considered almost entirely safe, but the fact that my glands are the size of peaches has made me worry to the point of writing for advice/ reinforcement/ support.

I would really appreciate it if an expert could tell me if there is any medical reason for testing (other than for my mental benefit) or if I should stop worrying and put the whole thing behind me.

A million thank yous!!

most respectfully,

Fan

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,551
Re: Oral on female
« Reply #68 on: July 22, 2008, 10:43:49 PM »
Fan, you can relax about HIV on this one. Nothnig you did put you at risk for HIV transmission. If you haven't alreadly read our lesson on transmission you ought to take some time and do that. You get the basics there. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

As far as your symptoms are concerned that is something to discuss with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV. Leave your swollen glands alone. Squeezing and bothering them can create a problem where none exists.

You need to remember for the future that mixing excessive drinking is a very dangerous thing to do. It impairs the judgement and when it comes to sex you need to have a clear head. We also recommend that anyone who's sexually active ought to regularly have a full STD panel done. Other STDs are much easier to acquire than HIV so doing that at least annually is a good idea.

This time out you have nothing to worry about as far as HIV is concerned.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Oral on female
« Reply #69 on: July 23, 2008, 11:01:10 AM »
Fan,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection. Take your swollen glands to your doctor - it's nothing to do with hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Oral on female
« Reply #70 on: July 24, 2008, 11:58:07 PM »
Andy,

As always, my deepest thanks for your reassurance. I have read the lessons and know the rules, but I got freaked out by the severity of the swollen gland s. I have never in my life experienced such painful and and enormously swollen glands. Both glands were swollen to the point of my ear canal feeling pressure and I was reduced to barely being able to swallow for the pain...

seeing as the symptins came on so strong after having performed oral sex on a stranger, I became worried and thought I should seek advice.

Thank you again.

Take care and stay healthy.

Most respectfully,

Fan

Offline fandango

  • Member
  • Posts: 36
Re: Oral on female
« Reply #71 on: August 08, 2008, 02:11:02 PM »
Guys,

I admit that after reading your very straigh forward reply about having nothing to worry about I feel a little foulish writing again, but I must admit that I am have been felling rather worried again recently...

I just keep going to back to the fact that my glands have never reacted to severely before... 2-3 days after performing oral sex my left gland swelled like a balloon and then in the next day or two my right gland followed suit only even more inflammed than the right. As I have noted my ear cannal felt pressured from the swelling, my neck felt bruised to touch, I couldn't swallow without pain. after 2-3 days it gradually went away. I felt normal again about 8 or 9 days after performing oral.

I know i should focus on the exposure, and I have been worrying about the fact I don;t have the best dental hygene in the world. Everytime I brush, my gums do bleed a bit. if I remember I had not brushed that morning because I was traveling. I think that my mind is looking for possible ways I could have been exposed (like bad gums) in an effort to validate the swollen glands... (I know that sounds crazy but I also know that I have an unatural fear of HIV and my mind plays tricks on me when I get scared)

I have also been thinking about the exposure in terms of me performing. I am sure I did not do anything that would not be considered oral sex, but I did get quite busy down there with my tongue.. probing all the way in, licking the whole area, sucking etc..is there anything to be worried about?

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,286
Re: Oral on female
« Reply #72 on: August 08, 2008, 05:35:06 PM »
You did not have a risk. End of Story..

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Oral on female
« Reply #73 on: August 09, 2008, 07:04:11 AM »
fan,

You did not have a risk for hiv infection.

However, you may have picked up some OTHER infection. You should see your doctor. In fact I'm surprised you didn't go to your doctor in the first place, if your glands were as bad as you say.

Whatever is/was going on, it has nothing to do with hiv. See your doctor.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.