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Author Topic: Warning! They Walk Among Us!  (Read 866 times)

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Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Warning! They Walk Among Us!
« on: January 24, 2007, 02:57:35 AM »
Warning! They Walk Among Us!
A man bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.


Caution... They Walk Among Us!
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted...."Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said... "Where???"


They Walk Among Us!!
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."


They Walk Among Us!!
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call centre. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific".


They Walk Among Us!!!
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but, "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."


They Walk Among Us!!!!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...


They Walk Among Us!!!!!
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... (maybe I should have bought 10 cases)


They Walk Among Us!!!!!!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...


They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."Yep, they walk among us AND they reproduce!

Offline fondeveau

  • Member
  • Posts: 425
Re: Warning! They Walk Among Us!
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2007, 07:32:02 AM »
An oft-cited court case regarding forced sterilization of the retarded concluded "Three generations of idiots are enough."  Of course, the pendulum then swung the other way.  Yet, there it is.  How will mankind evolve when even the unfittest survive?  Is the government making selections as to who will survive through choices of which programs to fund and how much?  Is posting on AM community forums a sign of intelligence or?  Hmm...much to ponder this morning over my coffee.

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Warning! They Walk Among Us!
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2007, 10:35:43 AM »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Salteen

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
Re: Warning! They Walk Among Us!
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2007, 10:46:20 AM »
I got one.  I told my friend that I am having a new year's eve party and she seriously says oh great when!?

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: Warning! They Walk Among Us!
« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2007, 11:11:06 AM »
They Walk Among Us!!!!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk...

I got one.  I told my friend that I am having a new year's eve party and she seriously says oh great when!?

 :D  :D

The seat belt cutter thing could end in tragedy though

 


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