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Author Topic: How are you doing?  (Read 2008 times)

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Offline zeb

  • Member
  • Posts: 172
How are you doing?
« on: January 22, 2007, 06:28:46 PM »
Hi all,

A simple question, ut also becouse I'm interested in your lives with HIV: How are you doing?
Do dreams come true, is the emotional live more intense, is there still pain, do you have ambitions, are you making a career, or have you started a new study.

Please, I like to now about your lives.

greetz zeb

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,229
  • FUS DO RAH!
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2007, 06:45:30 PM »
I think I was surprised at how little my life changed.

Do dreams come true?  Sometimes.  But no more or less than they did when I was negative. 

Emotions more intense?  Nope.

I'm terribly unambitious... except when it comes down to things which don't matter at all.  Like Ladytron tickets.

My life is pretty much the same as it was before... I mean, I do have to disclose to sex partners and all that stuff... but I've gotten used to it.  Going to the doctor... taking medication... it's kind of getting to be second nature to me. 
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,914
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2007, 07:08:51 PM »
How about you, Zeb? How's it been?
Andy Velez

Offline ACinKC

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  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2007, 07:38:25 PM »
Ummmm, yes.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,229
  • FUS DO RAH!
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2007, 07:41:56 PM »
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline ACinKC

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2007, 07:56:23 PM »
YOU would!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline dtwpuck

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,013
  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2007, 08:29:16 PM »
I still don't know how I am doing.  But, I have a lot of really cool tattoos, a really cool job, really cool friends, and can recite the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales in Middle English, sing a mighty fine rendition of Up On The Roof and still wonder out loud about why the sky in such a deep color of blue.    I also think crickets are really cool bugs, love the snow, the make really good borshch even though I am not Russian.  So there.
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline Jeff64

  • Member
  • Posts: 255
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2007, 08:55:30 PM »
Me? I am depressed over the whole thing.

I am not happy.

Jeff

Offline tsw923

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2007, 10:37:45 PM »
Interesting question.

Do dreams come true?  I don't know seems to be about the same.  I will say it seems like God balanced things out for me a bit.  I found out I was HIV+ in August.  My old boyfriend/fiance looked me up in November and now we are back together and talking about marriage. 

Are emotions more intense?  I think so for me.  I cried a lot in the beginning, now not as much.  But I do find I brood a bit more.  I worry about having kids.  I worry more about getting sick and who will take care of things.  I worry about what will happen when more of my family finds out, what will happen if work finds out, what will happen if friends find out.  I especially wonder what might happen if friends that have kids find out.  Will I no longer be welcome?

Do I have ambitions?  A career?  Well I was beginning to think about changing my job anyway before I found out my status.  I was thinking about changing jobs in August 2007 or so.  I've pretty much been on the road for 9 years and live in one state during the week and MD on the weekends.  Now however I am rethinking changing because of health care, short term disability, et al.  What to do?   I could go on about this for hours.  About how I was told again that I wasn't getting a promotion... although I'm a 'solid performer'...  but I'll stop lest I sound ungrateful for having a good job with benefits that makes my otherwise $1200/mth medications cost me $50/mth.....

Other stuff  I think a lot of folks have said this, but getting my diagnosis has made me reconsider things.... Enjoying my life more... Actually thinking about having/adopting kids rather than putting it off.  Training to walk the half marathon instead of just talking about it.  Doing more to eat healthy and work out, etc. 

How about you Zeb?

TSW






Help find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, and other blood-related cancers by sponsoring me as I walk a 1/2 marathon as a part of the Maryland chapter of Team in Training.  To find out more and to donate, please click on the following site:  http://www.active.com/donate/tntmd/tswtntmd

Offline marco23

  • Member
  • Posts: 392
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2007, 11:28:31 PM »
HI Zeb!
What a sweet and thoughtful question.. :)
Dreams come true? Well, I don't know about that..I've been dreaming about winning the Lottery for years now, nothings happened yet!  :D
When I first tested positive, I went through sooo many emotions - I was an emotional roller coaster! Had days of ups, downs and spirals. I have to admit though, I still get emotional every now and then - hey, who doesn't? but the emotions are not as intense anymore.
I do believe that time does heal all wounds...they may leave scars but it gets better as time passes.

How about you?
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline Blixer

  • Member
  • Posts: 712
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2007, 12:54:00 AM »
Hi Zeb,
The first few months after my diagnosis I didn't do too good.   I had anxiety attacks and wondered if I had any future at all.  Then I adjusted and got back on track.  Here I am, just over a year into this thing. I feel better than I have in a long time and I have a great outlook on life.  I"m working as hard as ever and making sure I have things set up for retirement.   I'm planning on being around for a good long time.

Do dreams come true?  I sure hope they do.  I've still got a lot of them that I'm counting on.  And career... I'm moving right on down the road with mine.  I'm not going to let this virus get the best of me if I have anything to do with it.  I'm going to take my meds, see my doctor, and take care of myself.

Oh, I think there is still pain, but isn't that just part of living sometimes.  And who knows, maybe my knight in shining armor will come riding along and whisk me away.  :-)  I'm so ready for finally find Mr. Right.
David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline zeb

  • Member
  • Posts: 172
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2007, 02:53:25 AM »
Well I'm doing fine and not fine. One day I can be hopeful and optimistic, the other day I'm worried about the future and the future care for my kids.
At these moments I tell myself: C'mon, be strong! Let's go for it! Sometimes that helps.

Because everything is so new to me I also feel like I'm living in a parallel world, the world of 'take care of your time, because there is only one time'.
Still I'm sad about the whole thing. I think I have to get used to it.

grtz Zeb

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #12 on: January 23, 2007, 04:46:57 AM »
You will Zeb, just give it time. Don't try to rush things. Your life can still be a good life.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Ihavehope

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: How are you doing?
« Reply #13 on: January 23, 2007, 10:26:45 AM »
Zeb

I can relate to you because I ask myself that question all the time. I will tell you that since my diagnosis 7 weeks ago I have been taking care of myself like never before. I sometimes take 2 showers a day. I clip my toenails and fingernails more often, i eat more veggies, I stopped doing recreational drugs and I don't stress out about little things anymore and I have gotten more compliments about the way I look now than never b4. My skin is smoother and since i been eating more I actually feel sexier having a fuller body. Before I was consumed about the waiste size the flat stomach, my hair, partying and stressing about daily things. I realized NONE of those things mattered anymore because they were destructive to myself and I already had a virus in my body destroying my T-cells so why would I damage myself more. I look myself in the mirror and realize how much damage I did to my body and how careless I was and promised myself I would not do those things again. I learned to respect my body and spirit. So it's time to take charge of yourself for your family and most of all for yourself. You got two kids to embrace and live for.
Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

 


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