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Author Topic: blah  (Read 10541 times)

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Offline puertorico2006

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blah
« on: January 20, 2007, 09:28:11 PM »
Im sure all of us hate the fact that we are positive but I just felt like complaining about being positive in Puerto Rico. IT SUCKS!!!!!! I have tried meeting people on poz.com but i guess there are a total of 13-15 people on there most of which are not my type. I try dating people where i dont know their status but i guess im still so insecure of the situation that once i do come clean i dont know where to go from there (i get scared of making any more moves and cant read whether they just want to be friends or keep going further).....puerto ricans dont know how to just "say" what they want...they are notorious for not saying anything and just leaving things be. So i dont know what to do (its like learning how to date all over again).......

im just annoyed because i like someone and dont know whether to try to move for more or just leave it be hehehe....

Its suprising that i only know 2 people with HIV, live in san juan (highest HIV rate in the caribean and for a small island its quite prevalent), and still only know 2 people. The puerto rican way "live in denial, shame, and keep your mouth shut"

i wish i lived in a big metropolitan area in the states :-P

just venting ill get over it hehehe
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline koi1

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Re: blah
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2007, 09:33:37 PM »
I wish you lived near me so I could date you.  ;)

rob
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2007, 09:35:43 PM »
:-* hehehe where is it you live? lol

once i get my degree im outta here....i was going to do my masters here and get it out of the way but screw it....im running back to the states hehe
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline jonsi

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Re: blah
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2007, 09:37:49 PM »
I'd date you as well...  :P

but i know what you mean, it happens to me as well... and i live in amsterdam... and poz.com doesn't help.... and it's like the coming out process again, and i never had a coming out of the closet process, so i have to learn how to do it now, and it really sucks...

right now i'm dating a guy, really cute... and i'm doing it "the puertorican" way... i'll tell him when the time comes, i just hope when the time comes i'll know that it came, and what to say!!!
Ģetta er Šgśtis byrjun...

Jůnsi.

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: blah
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2007, 09:38:39 PM »
The puerto rican way "live in denial, shame, and keep your mouth shut"

one of my ex-boyfriends is puerto rican, bi sexual and still "in the closet"  :-\ closets are for clothes, not people. oh well. but when he and i hang out he talks non-stop. it drives me nuts even though i talk alot too

(guess he can't talk to his family)

good luck to you
« Last Edit: January 20, 2007, 09:49:50 PM by allopathicholistic »

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #5 on: January 20, 2007, 09:40:19 PM »
well good luck to you and your guy ;-)

i wish i could adopt the puerto rican way but my concience doesnt let me hahaha...it would be much easier that way
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline jonsi

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Re: blah
« Reply #6 on: January 20, 2007, 09:46:14 PM »
it's not easier... i still think about it all the time... but it's just i'm afraid of rejection when i really like someone, and i really like him... so i guess i just hide it for a while, have a good time, and when things get really serious, then i drop the bomb.... right now it's just a thing, that we both don't know where is going to...

also i have the possibility that he gets to know me better for who i am and not for the diseases i carry... so then later on he will be able to make a much more informed decision...
Ģetta er Šgśtis byrjun...

Jůnsi.

Offline Eldon

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Re: blah
« Reply #7 on: January 20, 2007, 09:52:22 PM »
Senor: I do agree that you are in quite uncomfortable situation on the Island. However, there are some things that you can do in order to compensate for the variables that exist right now. As far as your prospect list is concerned...ASK Questions, get them involved with some sort of conversation in order to make them feel comfortable with you during conversation.

The more comfort that is extended to them the more they will open up and say what is inside of their heart. Keep in mind that they too have experienced other things just as well and it is based on those things as to how they are currently reacting in the here and now.

KEYS: Comfort and Reassurance.

"What Can I do today to make a better Tomorrow?"
« Last Edit: January 20, 2007, 09:54:09 PM by Eldon »

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2007, 10:03:09 PM »
See you at Eros on Ponce de Leon tonight at midnight.

(kidding... but of course I've been there)
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Eldon

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Re: blah
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2007, 10:12:59 PM »
Philly: It appears that Eros is your middle name.


"What Can I do today to make a better Tomorrow?"

Offline marco23

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Re: blah
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2007, 10:21:17 PM »
Hey puertorico....how u doin... ;)
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2007, 10:33:17 PM »
Oh, I have plenty of Eros stories.  Plenty of San Juan stories in fact.  Legendary ones.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline thunter34

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Re: blah
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2007, 10:43:38 PM »
I'm in the dark.  What is Eros on Ponce de Leon?  Dance club or what?  We have an Eros in Atlanta (sex club) and a Ponce...but not an Eros on Ponce.  Where is this place?
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2007, 10:46:26 PM »
Yes, it's a club that's been around in some form or another (was called Krash for a while in the mid-90's) on Av. Ponce de Leůn in the Santurce section of metropolitan San Juan.  If you're staying in the tourist Condado area it's an easy walk over to meet boys.

Would you also like the locations of hustlers in the city?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Eldon

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Re: blah
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2007, 10:50:45 PM »
Philly: So who is booking the flights?


"What Can I do today to make a better Tomorrow?"

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2007, 10:55:20 PM »
tee hee... I know where to find fun in Santo Domingo too!
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline thunter34

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Re: blah
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2007, 11:02:19 PM »
philly267:  your liaison to the world!
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Eldon

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Re: blah
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2007, 11:30:41 PM »
Timmy: That aint all either with Philly.


"What Can I do today to make a better Tomorrow?"

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: blah
« Reply #18 on: January 21, 2007, 08:47:44 AM »
it drives me nuts even though i talk alot too
 

   I've never noticed this during our conversations, but then again I talk a lot! ;)
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: blah
« Reply #19 on: January 21, 2007, 09:26:16 AM »
   I've never noticed this during our conversations, but then again I talk a lot! ;)

well thomas you talk "normal" stuff and you're not repressed. this exBF i'm talking about complains a lot because for the sake of his latino family he has to "act straight" and he's repressed so when he has my ears he lets everything out ... oops,, sorry for the "thread hijack" puertorico2006 ... my point is, i know a thing or two about repressed latino men. it's sad when anyone has to hide important facts about their lives - that's why i say honesty is the best policy
« Last Edit: January 21, 2007, 09:32:11 AM by allopathicholistic »

Offline dtwpuck

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  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: blah
« Reply #20 on: January 21, 2007, 11:07:39 AM »
This is an interesting thread to me ...
after the last presidential election I was reading an article in the Seattle Weekly about the urban/rural divide, how cities feel nuturing to people like us.  It's easier to find a home in the margins in the cities than in the country.    Some of your sentiments are echoed here.   

I also find that it's really common to hear things about how tough it is to be gay when I grew up : __________ (fill in the blank).  I've heard this over and over from Puerto Ricans, Arabs, Catholics, Mormons, Blacks, Chinese.....   So, I can only conclude that it's tough to be gay.     

Basically, I have found that finding other poz guys is not so easy, and just about anywhere you run the risk of rejection.... or worse... violence.    Be thankful that you live in Puerto Rico and have relatively easy access to moving to the urban areas in the US.  Best of luck to you.   
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #21 on: January 21, 2007, 11:15:58 AM »
puertorico2006:

Yes, I find it odd that it's so hard to find other HIV+ gay men in San Juan.  That's a metropolitan area of 2 million people, and the rate of infection is significant on the entire island, though I will plead ignorance on the specifics of infection in the gay community there.  I'd assume it's as high or higher than the non-gay population.  Therefore, when you go to Eros you must assume that the same percentage of patrons is infected.  This is how I viewed everything when I lived in NYC, as I do here in Philadelphia where both cities show significant infection rates.

Whether other guys fess up to being infected, or get tested so that they know is another issue.  And yes, I understand you're point or belief that it's a unique cultural manifestation related to Boriqua-ness.  I've not visited San Juan now in 6 years so I'm not going to offer any insight on that.

Why don't you return to the 13-15 "not your type" individuals you have located and simply make a couple your friends.  Maybe you can meet some of their castaways and locate something more suitable?  Not everything is available via the internet.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #22 on: January 21, 2007, 11:45:46 AM »
FT Lauderdale  is full of poz guys, there is a lot of unprotected sexcapades going on everywhere

Brandon Poz Party used to come to the guest house I worked at, Inn Leather - 60 to 80 guys sometimes all doing it raw in one big pile

of course there is also a lot of crystal meth use too
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #23 on: January 21, 2007, 11:49:12 AM »
sounds horribly charming
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #24 on: January 21, 2007, 11:50:19 AM »
6 years was my limit of christmas every day....

 St Pete for awhile, before Ft Lauderdale - I was one of 4  guys living in a house with 12 webcams

the site never really did anything, it was www.dungeonplayers.com

then managed a guest house for leathermen, thats where I first started building slings

now I am www.leatherslings.com
« Last Edit: January 21, 2007, 11:53:31 AM by twofires »
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #25 on: January 21, 2007, 12:30:05 PM »
ugh crystal meth...i hate that drug...thats the reason i ended up positive ....that is no longer part of my life thankfully ;-)

EROS is now called KRASH and yea its fun, but nothing comprared to the clubs in fort lauderdale (where im from)

I know that puerto rico has a VERY high percentage of people with HIV but of course they keep their mouths shut......

hahaha but anyways my little depressed "blah's" are gone for now ;-)....hahaha had a nice date last night (with someone negative but it went well)....i didnt think he was going to call me back after i told him i was positive...:-)....

little things like that make your day...even if it doesnt go anywhere it feels good when you dont get rejected because of that (i can handle rejection based on almost anything else)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #26 on: January 21, 2007, 12:32:31 PM »
I think ive become even more bipolar since finding out about hiv....i have days where nothing can bring me down....but then i have days where i get the "blahs" very badly :-O.......

but i guess it will get better as time progresses its only been 2.5 months or so :-P

Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #27 on: January 21, 2007, 12:34:13 PM »
pot and zoloft
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #28 on: January 21, 2007, 12:36:21 PM »
lol....well i take wellbutrin.....not a a big fan of pot (never liked downers much other than booze)....

I wont take lithium or seroquel like they had me on because i cant stand gaining weight hehehe that would depress me more (im a bit obsessive about that)

actually i tried seroquel and it made me feel like i  was hit by a bus every morning lol

Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #29 on: January 21, 2007, 12:46:44 PM »
Eros is Krash?  Krash once became Eros... I see the sense of creativity is alive and well in the gay community of La Isla Bonita.  Did they clean the hustler trash out of the Atlantic Beach Hotel yet?  Used to adore Sunday tea there... lots of carrying on and I was ever so popular.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #30 on: January 21, 2007, 12:51:03 PM »
Yea Eros was orignally Krash but they went back to the old name. I guess they tried using nostalgia to bring people back (not sure its working all that well).....

I havent been to atlantic on a sunday in FOREVER so i wouldnt know ...i havent seen much hustler trash there though when i went....i think they all moved to JUNIORS another club lol....the best club i like here is MEDUSA though...its really fun

I never get a sunday night off!!!!! I need to switch jobs (actually on my list of things i have to do)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #31 on: January 21, 2007, 12:56:36 PM »
Medusa must be relatively new.  Where is it located.  I adore San Juan, but like I said haven't visited in ages.  I used to go once per year in the winter.  I even went to Vieques one visit and really enjoyed that trip... I've travelled around much of the main island.  From what I've read though the city has changed a bit in recent years, with more upscale restaurants, etc.  My favorite restaurant was Chayote... very chic and excellent food.  But I also enjoyed more home style places like La Casita Blanca.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #32 on: January 21, 2007, 12:59:11 PM »
la casita blanca...i hate puerto rican food now....i ate it too much i guess :-S....medusa is in hato rey... near the ponce de leon and roosvelt area :-D

puerto rico is a pretty island, fun place to live...but frustrating in some aspects lol

i guess there are worst places though....like a hickville town in north florida i lived for 6 months hehehe
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #33 on: January 21, 2007, 01:02:46 PM »
>actually i tried seroquel and it made me feel like i  was hit by a bus every morning

I just tried it, knocked me out

all I wanted was zoloft, they put me on seroquel, depokote, risperdol

fuck that! all of California can't be wrong when it comes to medical marijauna

oh, and I got the zoloft after feeling like I was riding the Midnight Express for the last week
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #34 on: January 21, 2007, 01:05:55 PM »
Yeah, you should be happy to live in PR.  I'll be happy to move down there in a spare room of yours!  My spanish sucks though, but I digress.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #35 on: January 21, 2007, 01:09:09 PM »
finish school and flee!
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #36 on: January 21, 2007, 01:14:47 PM »
finish school and flee seems to be what im opting for ;-)

dont know where i want to move....my best friend lives in boston i should go visit and see how i like it....we used to live together in fort lauderdale...he wants me to move with him so i should consider it...but i dont know if i can handle the cold lol
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #37 on: January 21, 2007, 01:19:08 PM »
I opted for lower cost of living upon fleeing FtL

landed in Athens, Ga

Nice enough though I haven't had sex for 6 months

(HA! i'm kidding, but it sucks driving an hour to Atlanta for it)
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #38 on: January 21, 2007, 01:20:33 PM »
so why did you flee ftl?

i fleed because i needed to get off meth :-O

i dont know if i could live an hour away from sex....i dont even like driving 10 minutes for it lol (im lazy)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #39 on: January 21, 2007, 01:28:39 PM »
too expensive (I am paying $425 for a 2/1 here)

too much meth there

too many hurricanes

too many shallow vain tweakers

too flat

too far away from anywhere else in the US
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #40 on: January 21, 2007, 01:29:39 PM »
thats Too to the 6th Power
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #41 on: January 21, 2007, 01:30:44 PM »
lol yea well i guess i understand your point....

but isnt atlanta the same? or is it a bit better than fort lauderdale?

i still couldnt live an hour from everything....30 mins maybe hehehe
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #42 on: January 21, 2007, 01:32:08 PM »
There's meth anywhere you find homosexuals.  It's not the meth's fault.  Actually there's meth even where you don't find homosexuals so I'm not sure it's going to be a good indicator of where to reside.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #43 on: January 21, 2007, 01:33:20 PM »
yes; I am told there's lots of meth out here in Boonies, Georgia

happily I do not hang with that crowd

rather hang with the cubensis crowd, and happily I am told these do occur here!
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #44 on: January 21, 2007, 01:34:48 PM »
boonies

what an odd word
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #45 on: January 21, 2007, 01:37:10 PM »
I used to know a gay deadhead.  I think he's a yuppie now though.  He made me go with him once to see the Dead in the late 80's and I was horribly mortified by it all, though the mushrooms or acid we did were good and strong.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #46 on: January 21, 2007, 01:40:02 PM »
lol...meth doesnt exist in puerto rico....unless you find it with some crazy person who brought it on a plane from fort lauderdale...hehehe happened once and i walked into the hotel room...smelt meth and told him he can find someone else to have sex that night:-)

one of my main reasons for moving back here :-D
but now i got out of the addictive cycle so i can handle saying no ;-)

cubenesis crowd lol...i had good times with mushrooms :-S have no hatred towards that hahaha but ill still abstain ;-)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #47 on: January 21, 2007, 01:40:53 PM »
:D

it can seem to be a rather hetero crowd, what with all the toddlers running around in their little tie dyes

its also a refuge for anti-normal people....
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #48 on: January 21, 2007, 01:43:09 PM »
I have also used salvia divinorum in liquid form; an aphrodisiac good for nice visuals when you allow yourself to go there

yohimbe tea: once while laying back in the sling I mentally glanced over my shoulder and could see the entire line of my progenitors looking at me

all I could think to do was say "Hi!" to them....out loud...strange? :)
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #49 on: January 21, 2007, 01:43:57 PM »
YES... that's what drove me over the edge.  The hippie babies and toddlers.  I found that quite unsettling.  Then again, I grew up in the punk-ish scene so it was all alien.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #50 on: January 21, 2007, 01:45:06 PM »
lol this thread has gone a bit of a tangent :-P...i like that thats usually how my mind works anyways hehehe

usually goes from one topic to the next without finishing the first....then on to sex...

i have that on the brain now...flashbacks of last night lol :-\
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #51 on: January 21, 2007, 01:45:36 PM »
i think one of the binding ties is a person's proclivity to push the envelope
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #52 on: January 21, 2007, 01:46:06 PM »
i grew up around a bunch of crazy people...so nothing unsettles me now hehehe
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #53 on: January 21, 2007, 01:46:52 PM »
maybe you'd think about sex less if you weren't naked in your avatar
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #54 on: January 21, 2007, 01:47:12 PM »
>i have that on the brain now

toys: a boy's best friend
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #55 on: January 21, 2007, 01:48:17 PM »
>nothing unsettles me now

i thought that too, until last week
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline ademas

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Re: blah
« Reply #56 on: January 21, 2007, 01:51:27 PM »
maybe you'd think about sex less if you weren't naked in your avatar

maybe I'd think about sex less if he weren't naked in his avatar.

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #57 on: January 21, 2007, 01:51:33 PM »
im naked in my avatar because im a hornball....

what can i say :-\ ....i try to abstain but it never works lol

actually i can go a while without needing it but once i get started i cant stop...a true addictive personality :-(....but i guess i wont get any until i get over the "how long to wait before calling again" complex hehee

even when i like someone i never like them to know that hehe
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #58 on: January 21, 2007, 01:52:16 PM »
:-D

what happened last week that unsettled you?
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #59 on: January 21, 2007, 01:58:09 PM »
pent up frustrations

blew $1000 on christmas with the family (thats extremely extravangent for me) and then my transmission blew, another $1600 for that

I started asking for zoloft at my clinic last mid-december, they kept saying I couldn;t get in to see my doc until Feb 20

nice, huh?

they suggest I try Crisis Hotline to get a appt with the local mental health dept for the zoloft script

then it went into a roller coaster of doom, capped by them losing my drivers license, visa cards, cellphone, keys etc cuz they sent them off with another inmate of the mental health hospital they dumped me into after I got pissed for sitting for 4 hours at the mental health clinic

its been quite a couple weeks really, and all I wanted was some zoloft (you might hear me repeating that phrase often, its when I get my little soap box out)
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #60 on: January 21, 2007, 02:02:17 PM »
lol well i hope these next weeks get better :-D....i go on wild spending sprees myself ...i decided not to spend any money this christmas and be a grinch (i need to get my evil credit cards paid off)

im lucky...i always make friends with doctors wherever i live lol...so i just call them and ask for little prescriptions like that....too bad they wont write me prescriptions for deca or anything like that...guess im stuck building muscle the natural way for now (which sucks)...i asked my hiv doc about steroids just as a general question he said "dont even think about it...i dont believe in that stuff".....didnt like that answer ...i would have preffered "i dont believe in that becasue __________" no explanation
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #61 on: January 21, 2007, 02:07:07 PM »
next time you get your zoloft script ask for 30 refills lol
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #62 on: January 21, 2007, 02:10:22 PM »
too bad you're not up here... I have two bottles of wellbutrin sitting around and copious some samples of cymbalta
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #63 on: January 21, 2007, 02:11:16 PM »
I also have some androgel for the rican
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #64 on: January 21, 2007, 02:11:48 PM »
(I hoard things, like my grandmother)
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #65 on: January 21, 2007, 02:12:03 PM »
omgmultiplepostings++++
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #66 on: January 21, 2007, 02:13:41 PM »
i never have anything left...well i have ambiens/xanax a rarely use hahaha....

wellbutrin is no problem getting a prescription...now androgel is lol...

Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #67 on: January 21, 2007, 02:15:51 PM »
isn't androgel for....???  ;)
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #68 on: January 21, 2007, 02:18:03 PM »
lol...kind of a steroid :-P...not as good as deca or winstrol but whatever...algo es algo ;-)

i kill myself working out, i eat ....i never get any better lol its frustrating
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #69 on: January 21, 2007, 02:31:26 PM »
I'm sure you could find steroids in a gym.  You're obviously not a very crafty queen. (yet)
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #70 on: January 21, 2007, 02:34:40 PM »
lol yea i could find them but i dont know if theyd be legit....i have a "thing" about paying for crap that doesnt work....or not knowing what im putting in my body....

but yea your right im not that crafty with that yet...i used to be crafty with all the other drugs though  :-\

anyways when i go to the gym im all serious and dont know anyone...i need to start talking to the muscle boys lol,,,,,everytime ive had people buying them they tell me afterwards and always say "i havent heard the the guy in a while" lol

i probably havent been to pushy about it because im broke lol....medical visits get expensive lol...and i want to pay everything off...then ill go looking hehe
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline thunter34

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Re: blah
« Reply #71 on: January 21, 2007, 02:35:45 PM »
lol...kind of a steroid :-P...not as good as deca or winstrol but whatever...algo es algo ;-)

i kill myself working out, i eat ....i never get any better lol its frustrating


poor dear. his body is so clearly a mess.    ::)

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #72 on: January 21, 2007, 02:48:54 PM »
LOL yea a big mess :-) :-*
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline thunter34

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Re: blah
« Reply #73 on: January 21, 2007, 02:50:45 PM »
long time no talk!  hello, sweetness.  since we have been discussing the avatar a bit, is that a touch of facial fuzz on there or just shadowing?


during the holidays, my own body seemed to be falling apart so fast that i needed a hard hat.  starting to recover now.  my meds also tend to make my waist fluctuate up and down rather quickly at times.


speaking of...about to go munch some lunch really fast.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2007, 02:54:51 PM by thunter34 »
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #74 on: January 21, 2007, 02:54:54 PM »
its facial fuzz....i was going for a butch look that day :-O lol

actually i was just lazy that day and didnt feel like shaving

how have you been?
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline thunter34

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Re: blah
« Reply #75 on: January 21, 2007, 02:57:44 PM »
ok.  enjoyed holidays more than usual.  gained more wieght than i should have.  working to get it back off now.  should exercise more, but right now i am mostly adjusting diet.  i ate soooo much candy and crap over about the last two months it was crazy. 


have to hop off shortly, but will be back on very soon.


"blah" is right.  nothing but rain and cold slop here today!
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #76 on: January 21, 2007, 03:00:33 PM »
lol...well hopefully tomorrow will be less of a blah day :-D

yea taking off holday weight is a bitch....my problem is SWEETS...i work in a restaurant that speciializes in desserts....i have temptation all day/night long.....i need to find an internship or another job by next trimester so i guess i wont have to put up with that much longer
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #77 on: January 21, 2007, 03:02:35 PM »
uh oh... thunterwhore34's moving in for the kill

deboned puerto rican chicken meat on a split
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #78 on: January 21, 2007, 03:16:38 PM »
lol....wow i didnt know i could still be considered chicken after 20 :-O lol...who wouldve thought.....,my ex dumped me for a 17 year old i thoughs i was past my prime hahaha
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #79 on: January 21, 2007, 03:29:32 PM »
Anything lacking body hair looks like a plucked chicken
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #80 on: January 21, 2007, 03:31:38 PM »
lol....i have body hair sometimes...depends on the day of the week and my mood....

anyways im off for now...time to go to work until 2am :'( ....i hate my job lol....
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline twofires

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Re: blah
« Reply #81 on: January 21, 2007, 03:42:06 PM »
>i kill myself working out, i eat ....i never get any better

always remember: beer has food value but food does not have beer value
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline poet

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Re: blah
« Reply #82 on: January 21, 2007, 04:34:12 PM »
Well, having started the thread, what did you mean by: 'I have tried meeting people on poz.com but i guess there are a total of 13-15 people on there most of which are not my type.  Too old?  Too ____?'  (Asking in part because we have a handful of guys here on the Cape only.  It's not a question of 'type here, but of body count. :)

Then you said: 'I try dating people where i dont know their status but i guess im still so insecure of the situation that once i do come clean i dont know where to go from there (i get scared of making any more moves and cant read whether they just want to be friends or keep going further)'  We had a thread going recently in which guys were saying that while they don't lie, they often will not disclose (come clean) initially, waiting to see if there is anything there before making things complicated.  If you are willing to have safe sex only and take a chance, this might be a way of approaching guys.  Seeing if they are your type before you tell them.  And the 'reading' problem is true whether you are in NYC or Puerto Rico, trust me.  Communication is complicated for most people, seemingly.  Or they feel like deer in the headlights and freeze.

Then you said: 'its like learning how to date all over again).......' which is too true.  Or thought about another way, it's like having to rethink HOW to date.  Before sero-converting, before hiv/aids, it was have sex with anyone anytime you felt like it.  Now it's to disclose or to not disclose?  To have sex, but how to have sex?  Win

Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #83 on: January 21, 2007, 04:40:40 PM »
I'm sure a lot of it is his age.  How many HIV+ people did you encounter dating (assuming one stays in one's age group) at the age of 24.  I was diagnosed in my 20's and I will offer that it's different than being diagnosed in your 30's or 40's. 
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline thunter34

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Re: blah
« Reply #84 on: January 21, 2007, 06:03:26 PM »
uh oh... thunterwhore34's moving in for the kill

deboned puerto rican chicken meat on a split

philly, i'm sure i don't know what you're talking about!


(but if i did have a craving for puerto rican meat, i'm sure i would prefer it served with the bone in.)
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #85 on: January 22, 2007, 11:10:51 AM »
well i dont know the disclosure issue i actually prefer to get it out of the way before even thinking about sex or before i start to like them.....its easier to get rejected by someone you dont like, dont care about, and just dont care what they think :-D.....the other way would just kill my self esteem :-D

Only problem with that method is the fact puerto rico is an island so news travels faster than most places lol so i guess i have to be careful with that also....but i could also just go for the fuck-it approach and not really care who knows (i mean here in the island 2 people know and then everyone knows in a few months hehe)
I dont know whats worst, being open and saying your positive and not hide it, or having people talk about it all the time and you denying it :-P

Actually most of the guys ive met on poz.com are in their 30's-40's and nobody my own age (which is fine with me because i dont like younger guys usually....early to late 30's is ideal for me)...but their is still such a low quantity that i havent found any my type....in fact i was about to hit one over the head when i first found out and he said "i know what your going through i just want to be your friend", i said "ok", then of course he tried to take my situation and use it to get in my pants (which didnt work)....but yea...no luck hehehe


After saturdays night date im going through the "to call or wait for him to call me" bit lol....i never know what to do in that respect :-O GRRRRR.....
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: blah
« Reply #86 on: January 22, 2007, 11:40:32 AM »
Well, he could be going through the "do I call or not" thing too so maybe you should just call him.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline puertorico2006

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Re: blah
« Reply #87 on: January 22, 2007, 08:34:12 PM »
well i talked to him online...dont know if that counts lol....but i was busy today anyways and im sure he was also...i dont like bugging people tooooooo much during the week....lord knows i never have time for much anyways either :-D....but i guess ill call tomorrow or something

priorities:
1.School
2.Work
3.GYM
4.Friends
5.SEX/LOVE LIFE (this can get bumped up the list if i find someone worth it...especially since sex is good cardio lol)
Infected Probably: may 2005
Diagnosed: 11/2006

11/28/2006 CD4:309 / VL: 1907 No meds yet
12/27/2006 CD4:339/  VL:1649 No meds yet
  4/28/2007 CD4:550/  VL:1800 No meds :-)

 


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