HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?

been at risk, how do i handle the waiting time

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Hey thur

Over the xmas period I put myself at risk, stoopid yes, been a big wake up call, hopefully not to late.

To explain my situation briefly, I had a 3 casual relationships on the go, on a regualr basis, two of the woman have been over a period of a year, and we all been tested neagtive. One of them i knew was seeing a previous partner of hers, so initially i used a condom for vaginal and analsex. The problem i have is falling asleep and waking up horney and not thinking about a condom, upon which i enterd her vaginally then briefly anally before it registering with me how careless i was being upon which i continued forth 'with a condom'.

So there was a brief period of unprotected sex there, and 3 weeks later ive come about a bit ill and now im freaking out. I know i need to get the test, which i will do, unfortunately not enough time has elapsed and its just a waiting time to get to the recommended time before i can test

the anxiety is killing me, its just about crippling, should I ask her to get a test, be with her as support, do i get tested now throught the rapid test, wait till mid feb when 6 weeks has elapsed or wait a full 3 months?

Andy Velez:
For starters, forget about asking the woman in question to test. Your health is your responsibility. The test result you want and need to know your status is your own.

HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It's significantly more difficult to accomplish from female to male. If I am understanding you correctly, the only unprotected incident was this recent one. If that is so the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor against transmission having occured in a brief, one shot situation. And of course, you don't even know for sure that the woman is in fact HIV+.

You do need to learn from this experience. It's understandable about you having been sleepy, but sleepy or not, keep those condoms  handy and use one everytime. Stay awake to protecting your health. Period.

The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after a possible exposure. So if you can't stand waiting, get tested at 6 weeks. Assuming you test negative, play it safe and re-test at 13 weeks and collect what will very likely be a second negative. 

In the meantime staying productively busy will help the time to pass more quickly than you may imagine possible at this moment. Really.

Good luck with your test.


Thank you for that Andy, very reassuring, thanks for reading, does the risk decrease moreso if i am circumsized

Andy Velez:
The risk is actually less if you are circumcised. The foreskin has cells which are more receptive to transmission.

3 weeks after, now feel ars coming on, diarorrhea, sore glands, tiredness, its to coincidental


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