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Author Topic: Had unprotected sex with ex  (Read 3510 times)

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Offline redsonya234

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Had unprotected sex with ex
« on: January 08, 2007, 09:39:02 PM »
I had unprotected sex with my ex last friday.  I am so scared because I haven't been feeling good since last monday.  Not to mention that he is uncircumsized as well so that is a greater risk.  Since last monday, i have been feeling very dizzy, ligheaded, fatigued, weak and having more frequent bowel movements than normal.  My nails are turning white along with my tongue, my body aches all over and I feel tingling and numbness in my hands and feet.  I also know that these symptoms are associated with anemia in which I have been diagnosed with in the past.  I made a doctor's appt. to get tested this wednesday.  I just want to know if wednesday is too soon.  I want my results to right the first time  I get tested.  I am so scared because I don't want to give anything to my husband.  Somebody please give me a shout out and let me know what you think!!  Thanks!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2007, 02:38:52 AM »
Sonya,

I can understand your fear. You took the first step by making the appointment to get tested. I hope it comes back negative. The symptoms you listed could be other health issues and you should mention them to your doctor as well, he may want to check you for other things.

I am not sure how long you should wait to get tested but I'm sure someone or one of the moderators will be able to answer this for you. Keep us posted on how things turn out. I will be praying right along with you that it comes back negative.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
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Offline Ann

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Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2007, 09:14:43 AM »
red,

I moved your thread from the "side-effects" forum to this forum, which is the only place you should be posting your questions. Please read through the Welcome Thread, read the posting guidelines found there and also follow the Transmission and Testing Lessons links.

You have had a risk and you do need to test. Anytime you have unprotected intercourse with someone whose hiv status you do not know, you are putting yourself at risk for hiv and other sexually transmitted infections.

Most STIs can be tested for between ten and fourteen days after, unless you have symptoms sooner, such as an unusual discharge. Hiv and syphilis share a three month window period before you can obtain conclusive results.

While no one here is going to judge you for having sex outside your marriage, you MUST protect yourself by using condoms when you do. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Symptoms or even the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection - but if symptoms do happen, they take between two and four weeks to show, so your current problems will have nothing to do with hiv - it's far too soon.

The earliest you should test for hiv is at six weeks, as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by this time. A negative result at six weeks is an excellent indication of your true status and will change only rarely, but MUST be confirmed at three months.

You should use condoms with your husband in the meantime, until you have checked for all STIs.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline redsonya234

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2007, 01:06:59 AM »
Thanks Ann and Queen Akasha for your replies.  When I went to my regular doctor Wednesday.  He gave me medicine for my congestion and he said I had acid reflux.  He ordered some labs referring to anemia.  I got a call back yesterday saying my blood work was fine.  I had made me an appt. to get tested for HIV and STD's earlier yesterday before I got those results back.  I go get tested tuesday and if those results come back negative, I'm going to get tested again because I do believe that I have HIV.  I began to have headache, a sore throat with red dots on my tonsil and throat.  My tongue is still white.  I believe my lymph nodes are swollen.  The lymph nodes near my groin is paining off and on.  So I do believe i have HIV.  It's been two weeks since I believe I was infected.  I also told my husband today exactly what has been going through my head aboiut sleeping with my ex and possibly becoming infected.  I hurt him so much and it kills me.  I'm scared that I gave it to him and I think he is mainly thinking about me right now.  I'm scared that I'm not going to see my 4 babies grow up.  I'm only 23 and I had my whole life ahead of me!!  I called my ex at work tonight to tell him to give me a call when he get home.  I haven't heard from him yet.  I think he knows that He  gave this to me.  My ex and I might share a baby together.  I don't know if my son is his or my husband's but now I don't even want to know anymore since he infected me.  I'm so scared and hurting and I don't even know if my husband is going to stay with me.  I don't want to go through this without him.  I know that I have this damn disease.  I just feel like ending my life now!!!!!! I just don't know what to do.  I am so scared of dying.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2007, 02:58:06 AM »
If you are looking for someone to blame then look in the mirror. You are just as much responsible as your EX. Symptoms or lack of is not an indication of hiv. Lymph nodes during ars infections do not hurt and there is no pain. All your symptoms that you are stating came on to quick to be a result of ARS. You can drop the drama with the dieing. No one ever wants to die, but it is a fact that you will, everyone will. You don't have any idea if you are infected until you have received your results, so don't get the cart before the horse.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2007, 04:49:00 AM »
red,

Testing for hiv on Tuesday would be a waste of time and money. As I told you previously, the earliest you should test is six weeks. It is, however, the correct time to test for other STIs.

You mentioned in your first post that your ex is uncircumcised and you think this increases your risk - it does not. Whether or not a man has a foreskin only increases or decreases his risk, not yours.

I agree with Rodney, your sexual health is YOUR responsibility. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Your hiv status - and you are likely to be negative - has no bearing on seeing your children grow up. Hiv is no longer a death sentence (unlike suicide). On the other hand, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline redsonya234

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2007, 10:44:28 AM »
Both of you are right, it is my responsibility.  I am trying to take the blame for it and accept what the outcome of this situation is going to be.  I know it was my decision to go outsinde my marriage and have unprotected sex.  i can't just blame my ex because I had a decision to play in it as well.  I'm just scared, i had no one to talk to about how i  was feeling and what was going through my mind.  I did talk to my ex and he is so sure that he does not have anything as well as I.  I ws trying to tell him that he could still be infected even though he does not have any symptoms at all.  i just feel like six weeks to  3 months is a long time to wait.  I will wait that long so the test will be more accurate.  Thanks for the feedbacks, it really opened my eyes up on responsibility.

Offline redsonya234

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Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2007, 08:22:51 PM »
I have two quick questions!  My hands and feet are staying cold and very sweaty at times, mostly at night.  Is this associated with hiv.  I am losing hair on my both my arms and legs, and inside my nose.  I also think I have a rash all up and down my arms and legs.  Im a black lightskinned person so my arms and legs are tutoned brownish yellow color so its hard to tell if its  a rash or not.  It's not bright red, its barly noticable.  could this be associated with hiv and a skin rash.  I am really worried about losing my hair, especially in my nose.  Please help and reply.  Thanks!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2007, 08:35:11 PM »
No your symptoms do not sound like ARS. HIV has no specific symptoms. You just need to wait until it is time for you to test.

Offline redsonya234

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  • Posts: 7
Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2007, 08:51:28 PM »
Thanks for the reply Rapid Rod.  You are defintely right, hiv doesn't have any specific symptoms.  I got tested yesterday for std's but they told me to go ahead and get tested for hiv although I told them it was way to early.  They just told me to come back for another test later.  You have alot of helpful information to give to people.  Keep it up!!!

Offline redsonya234

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2007, 04:01:16 PM »
Hi everybody, I hope everyone is feeling well.  It's been 20 days since my exposure to hiv.  This is really how I've been feeling.  Last friday, I noticed that I have been losing alot of weight.  That tuesday, I weighed in at 134 and this past tuesday, I weighed in at 126.  I feel every bone in my body sticking out more than ever. My feet hurt when i walk on them now and so does my but when I sit down on things that didn't feel uncomfortable before. My arms and legs are very weak but i'm trying to stay active as much as possible.  I have to, I have four kids!!! I feel dizzy very often as well.  my hands and feet are cold and sweaty most of the time now.  my eye sight don't look to hot either.  I don't have a appetite to eat anymore,  here lately Ive been forcing my self to eat. my throat has been bothering me off and on as well. I discovered a lump under my rib at the beginning of the week and that is bothering me as well.  This morning I found a red spot on my leg.  It looks like a bruise but I don't think it is a bruise so KS is running through my head!!!  There is so much going on and I can't shake the possibilities of either it is or its not hiv or something else!!!I know now that there isn't any symptoms when it comes to hiv.  I'm thinking that maybe I have hiv with something else that i didn't know that I had.  I'm going back to the doctor tuesday to get checked for the lump under my rib.  I took a test for stds and hiv at 17 days after exposure.  Even if the test is negative I could still be positive because its too early to get tested.  I'm still going to have to go through all this waiting all over again in the months ahead.  If there is anyone out there who can relate or know anything about my symptoms, please give me a holla.  I'm so stressed and I know that makes it worse. 

Offline redsonya234

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Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #11 on: January 19, 2007, 04:04:19 PM »
P.S. I'm also tired and sleepy all the time!!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #12 on: January 19, 2007, 04:10:49 PM »
Instead of playing on the computer, see your doctor about your health. You won't be cured on the Internet.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Had unprotected sex with ex
« Reply #13 on: January 19, 2007, 04:15:19 PM »
So to get this straight... you now think you have not ONE but TWO illnesses?  Your self diagnosis is not doing you any favors here.  Try to relax.  You had a risky event, but you have no idea if he has it or not.  The only thing you can do is wait the 6 weeks and test.  I do hope it is negative.

As for the dieing bit... Im with the others on this.  You will die one day.  Those of us with this disease live long healthy productive lives.  I have 2 young ones and I know I shall grow old watching them grow up, go to college and get married.  So enough with that.  

It is guilt that plagues you most right now.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

 


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