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Author Topic: What a month-Updated  (Read 3325 times)

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Offline bluelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 178
What a month-Updated
« on: January 17, 2007, 11:48:01 PM »
Ok Eric taking your advice.

So a month ago a little over l met someone out there in the world.We talked a lot,dinners,movies etc.

Two weeks ago he said to me he was falling in love with me.I was whoa.

This weekend i told him l was poz.

All of sudden he is busy he has clients on Friday night we were supposed to have dinner.

I get it he is backing away par for the course.Four years of alone in one month he brought down all my walls and yes l was falling for him too.

And yes he is neggie and this hurts like hell.

Go from talking every night, emails,phone calls to nothing.

And i have to be brave and go on well right now it sucks and it hurts.



« Last Edit: January 20, 2007, 11:32:21 AM by bluelove »

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: What a month
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2007, 11:54:47 PM »
Blue~~

I'm sorry you are going through this honey. I know you are hurting but maybe the news came as a shock to him and he's trying to absorb it, which is what I'm hoping for, for you. But it may also be that he is uneducated about virus and is reacting from ignorance. I'm wishing you the best but if it doesn't work out, it wasn't meant to be. And someone else will come in your life.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,258
Re: What a month
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2007, 11:56:42 PM »


Hope you'll give us a favorable update later on. You never know as the old saying goes.

If he backs away totally then it's his loss and perhaps you're destined to meet someone even more awesome?

Sending you strength honey,
Alex
(who strongly believes in fate)

Offline bluelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 178
Re: What a month
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2007, 11:57:31 PM »
He is educated about it.Just does want not to deal with it.Then again he did not want to deal with my career either thought it was to dangerous for a woman.

Just wish it was different.

Offline virgo71

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: What a month
« Reply #4 on: January 18, 2007, 12:05:00 AM »
your better off without him!! Actually, maybe he needs a little time to educate himself. This totally sucks!!!! You are a good person and I'm sure he is and it would be so nice if that was all that mattered. Don't let this get you down. Just give him some space and then invite him to a very casual dinner and tell him to be honest. If he picks you he smart and if he doesn't then he's a big bugger and his toes are going to falll off.

Offline Life

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  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: What a month
« Reply #5 on: January 18, 2007, 12:13:11 AM »
Well honey,  I don't think its the hiv sweety, it might be the donut thing that has got him a bit nervious.   If you wana keep him or at least not allow things to stop,  keep the dialoge going.  Even if its just you talking to him via email.   He will read it, and he will have to make some decisions, but please, at least help him stear the boat, right now hes just paddling around in circles clueless and lost...  GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT!!!  You always have sweetie.   And, if its not met to be, well, at least you will know.  You will have tried.   No relationship and I don't care what the fuck you got in the closet usually puts the brakes on but that does not mean they will stay that way.....  Work it !   Your worth it and you will find out if truly he is as well..

Love you!!!!


Offline ndrew

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  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: What a month
« Reply #6 on: January 18, 2007, 12:20:23 AM »
Hi Blue,

I have had some dating experiences like this, it hurts.  They leave you to figure it out...

Take care and keep sharing your feelings with us.

Drew

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,644
Re: What a month
« Reply #7 on: January 18, 2007, 01:46:43 AM »
Hi Blue

Eric came through again.  He has some good advice and I agree with his opinion too.  I think it's more the donut thing.  If that bothered him, the HIV put him over the top.  But it's still not too late.  Keep the emails going.  Keep the converstion going and see where it goes.  You haven't lot him yet.

robert
..........

Offline Ihavehope

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,366
  • Yes, I'm a cry baby, AND WHAT?
Re: What a month
« Reply #8 on: January 18, 2007, 09:26:33 AM »
Hi Bluelove

It is hard for us to find people who can accept us for who we are. I was one of those uneducated boys who did not want to get involved with anyone who was poz because of fear of the unknown. We know alot about this disease as to how to prevent it when we are neg and but we can't comprehend how people can live with it until it happends to you. So don't hate him for not knowing any better just move on and keep dating.

Infected: April 2005
12/6/06 - Diagnosed HIV positive
12/19/06 - CD4 = 240  22% VL = 26,300
1/4/07 - CD4 = 200 16% VL = ?
2/9/07 = Started Kaletra/Truvada
3/13/07 = CD4 = 386 22% VL ?

Offline ACinKC

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  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: What a month
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2007, 10:36:11 AM »
Blue, my advice is to try to keep communicating.  i had to fight for my current wife.  She dumped me early on (strangely not cause of the HIV) and I stayed in communication with her via IM and email and she found out about the real me. 

Stay in touch, ask him what he is afraid of.  Ask him if you had diabetes would it be the same and if not why not?  Dont give up on something like this.  You get one shot at life, if you dont leave it all on the table you aint playin the game!  He was falling for you (which by the way is guyspeak for I LOVE YOU but I just dont know if i should TELL you yet).  So he LOVES YOU, nothing has changed with YOU, he fell in love with the virus and he didnt know it.  GOD I WANT TO CRAWL THROUGH THIS COMPUTER RIGHT NOW and give you a big ol pep talk! 

Tell that dude to call me and I will straighten his ass out PRONTO!  LOVE YA BLUE GO GET WHATS YOURS!!!!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline marco23

  • Member
  • Posts: 392
Re: What a month
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2007, 12:36:47 PM »
Oh Blue...
I'm so sorry to hear what you went through BUT that just goes to show the true person he was, especially avoiding you?..come on.  A true person will be someone who wants to know who you really are and still wants to know even more about you after you reveal your HIV status..don't give up babe..I hope you don't let this bump in the road stop you..'seek and you shall find'.. ;)
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: What a month
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2007, 02:10:52 PM »
I'm with Eric 100%. I also thought if he had any reservations about the career, this was more ammo on the CON side of his list.

Keep communicating, and if nothing comes of it, he wasn't yours. Another is out there for you.

Paul
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline rick21007

  • Member
  • Posts: 286
Re: What a month
« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2007, 02:41:25 PM »
Blue--no question being rejected by someone you care about, and having hopes and dreams dashed to pieces hurts like hell.  Maybe what hurts the most is seing that exit sign from loneliness and then finding that exit blocked.
Bet everyone here has been in the same place, and most of us more than once.  Breathing helps get through it.  Breathing and just being---when it hurts just to be iin your own skin. 

Best,  Rick

Offline tsw923

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: What a month
« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2007, 06:49:35 PM »
Blue,

Definitely hang in there.  I'm with the others.  He's probably in shock that he showed so much emotion so soon and is looking for anything to allow him to bail out.  Keep a line of communication open even if its just a quick email to say 'Hey'.   Talk about your work, your VL, some other weekend plans that you've made without him,  send jokes.  Let him see that HIV isn't all you are, that its just something you have to deal with.

TSW
Help find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, and other blood-related cancers by sponsoring me as I walk a 1/2 marathon as a part of the Maryland chapter of Team in Training.  To find out more and to donate, please click on the following site:  http://www.active.com/donate/tntmd/tswtntmd

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: What a month
« Reply #14 on: January 18, 2007, 07:07:58 PM »
Blue
You dont know me very well.  But I have followed your life story over the past year.  You are a tough and very brave woman.  I am sure that this is just a BLIP in your dating experience.  ( Oh by the way...I doubt he deserves someone as nice as you.)
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline DanKenny

  • Member
  • Posts: 147
Re: What a month
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2007, 07:26:19 PM »
Blue,

Sorry you have to go through this.  Unfortunately, rejection is one side effect of our status. However, don't let it bog you down -- because it arises out of ignorance.  Many partners who reject us are often concerned about their chances of catching the virus from you, mortality, etc.  Education helps clear out some of this fog. So, hang in there..keep the communication lines clear, without being overbearing. If it is meant to be, it will. Take it as one more survival experience...

rgds, Danny (who is facing a similar situation)
My Progress:

09/07:   771   ~    <50     ~   29%
03/07:   493   ~    227      ~   22%
02/07:   Began Meds ~~ ATRIPLA
01/07:   315   ~   45, 000  ~   18%
10/06:   350   ~   32, 430  ~   22%
04/06:   440   ~   23, 997  ~   24%
07/05:   621   ~   36,000   ~   24%
01/05:   842   ~   2306      ~   28%
07/04:   615   ~   3370      ~   27%
04/04:   674   ~   739        ~   26%
11/03:   439   ~   2800      ~   22%
Infected probably around 1997 / Diagnosed 2002

Offline bluelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 178
Re: What a month
« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2007, 07:44:17 PM »
Thanks you all for your posts.

So he called me this morning at work we talked we have no plans for tomorrow night we have no plans to get together at this point at all.He says it is not the hiv at all.So l asked him "What this has to do with me being a cop?'

He was somewhat but.....

Ready for it?

A couple of his friends said to him that i was not that pretty.And he admitted to me yes he is a shallow asshole cause what his friends think matter to him and he would like to remain friends if l wished.

My jaw is still on the floor and yes l see he is a self serving asshole.

One good thing l learned this now and l learned from it.

Offline DanKenny

  • Member
  • Posts: 147
Re: What a month
« Reply #17 on: January 18, 2007, 07:48:11 PM »
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

How easy it is for them ******* to write their own histories....

Good for you -- to find this out this early...

Good luck - DK


Thanks you all for your posts.

So he called me this morning at work we talked we have no plans for tomorrow night we have no plans to get together at this point at all.He says it is not the hiv at all.So l asked him "What this has to do with me being a cop?'

He was somewhat but.....

Ready for it?

A couple of his friends said to him that i was not that pretty.And he admitted to me yes he is a shallow asshole cause what his friends think matter to him and he would like to remain friends if l wished.

My jaw is still on the floor and yes l see he is a self serving asshole.

One good thing l learned this now and l learned from it.
My Progress:

09/07:   771   ~    <50     ~   29%
03/07:   493   ~    227      ~   22%
02/07:   Began Meds ~~ ATRIPLA
01/07:   315   ~   45, 000  ~   18%
10/06:   350   ~   32, 430  ~   22%
04/06:   440   ~   23, 997  ~   24%
07/05:   621   ~   36,000   ~   24%
01/05:   842   ~   2306      ~   28%
07/04:   615   ~   3370      ~   27%
04/04:   674   ~   739        ~   26%
11/03:   439   ~   2800      ~   22%
Infected probably around 1997 / Diagnosed 2002

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: What a month
« Reply #18 on: January 18, 2007, 08:46:10 PM »
Blue: Shock has set in with him regarding the situation. He does not know what to say at this point as there is a possibility that he has never dealt with this kind of situation. It is more than likely that he is sorting through what he wants to do first before saying anything. When there are expectations from someone and the package is presented for its original orgin, then the other person catches a tail wind of emotions and they back off until the turbulent aspect has subsided. Good Luck.


"What Can I do today to make a better Tommorrow?"

Offline dtwpuck

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,013
  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: What a month
« Reply #19 on: January 18, 2007, 08:58:22 PM »
if he has a problem with your career, you should have dumped him anyway.  You dodged a bullet.

You CLEARLY have a lot going for you.  It hurts.  It sucks.  It's not fair.  But, let's face it.  We are poz... this goes with the territory.     

Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline Life

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: What a month
« Reply #20 on: January 18, 2007, 09:40:59 PM »
Blue - Some guys just really suck....  This one sucks... You hear that sucking sound??  I am glad you have found what makes him NOT TIC...  I would not have any remorse about this one.  Just good riddance and FUCK OFF!


Love You!


Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Re: What a month
« Reply #21 on: January 18, 2007, 11:00:06 PM »



  Blue,

     No one deserves this kind of treatment and I don't think any good hearted person would say such a thing.  It is obvious the guy lacks some skills in the heart area.  It sounds to me like he did you a favor and I know that aspect is hard for you to see right now.  I am sorry you have been hurt in this manner. 

  Thomas
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,344
Re: What a month
« Reply #22 on: January 19, 2007, 02:47:55 AM »
Blue

I agree with Bear and Skeebo. This was a Darwinian moment---you are not supposed to be adding this guy to your clan. What is even more incredible than the content of his admission is that he has the disconnectedness to have shared it!!

I would send that boy a big bag of doughnuts or doughnut holes with a thank you note saying " Thank you so much for saving me precious time. I am relieved to find out so early in our acquaintanceship that I merely, and unwittingly, lost a beauty contest I wasn't aware I was in. Here, I thought I was being rejected for my health status. I'm thrilled to learn that you are actually open-minded in an incredible way and yet frighteningly dependent upon peer approval over something as fleeting as good looks. It's time for me to get back to living a rich, full and fun life!  I wish you all the best. "


Offline tsw923

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: What a month
« Reply #23 on: January 19, 2007, 10:58:51 PM »
Emeraldize -- that was PRICELESS!!!   ;D  Blue -- please let us know if/when you do that.
 :D
Help find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, and other blood-related cancers by sponsoring me as I walk a 1/2 marathon as a part of the Maryland chapter of Team in Training.  To find out more and to donate, please click on the following site:  http://www.active.com/donate/tntmd/tswtntmd

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,644
Re: What a month
« Reply #24 on: January 19, 2007, 11:31:26 PM »
  Blue..... I'm speechless.  I mean.  Wow.  What an a...hole.  And a stupid one at that.
  Well, I guess you can add this to your BEST BRUSH OFF LINES thread
 
 robert
..........

Offline virgo71

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: What a month
« Reply #25 on: January 20, 2007, 01:21:26 AM »
Some good advice that I have always remembered. Shoot the "dogs" early. The longer you waste time on this guy the longer you are depriving yourself from meeting the person you are really supposed to be with.

Even if he does want to try it you can't change a man and if this is how he acts just after a few weeks....forget about it!

Offline allopathicholistic

  • Member
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Re: What a month
« Reply #26 on: January 20, 2007, 08:03:06 AM »
I'm glad you can move forward now

Wow, he sounds like a major asshole

Onwards & upwards!!!    8)

Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
Re: What a month
« Reply #27 on: January 20, 2007, 10:55:08 AM »
Blue, I must admit you do look HOT in your blues!

Offline bluelove

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Re: What a month-Updated
« Reply #28 on: January 20, 2007, 11:36:29 AM »
So l sent him flowers black roses if you want to know.

And doughnut holes they were to represent he was a a-hole.

Emeraldize sent on your words of great wisdom to him ...THANK YOU!!!!

He called this morning wants to do dinner Tuesday and talk l told him forget it and find a beauty queen.I much rather clean my gun.

So that is end of that let the fun begin yet again...Dating really sucks sometimes.


Offline AlanBama

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  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: What a month-Updated
« Reply #29 on: January 20, 2007, 11:40:54 AM »
Good for you blue!   I really admire a strong woman.

I hope you find someone who appreciates you.   We all deserve to be loved.

Hugs,

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Life

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  • Posts: 2,388
  • Member 2005
Re: What a month-Updated
« Reply #30 on: January 20, 2007, 11:46:53 AM »
 ;D Thats our Blue!

We all love you Dear!  You know that...   Go out and fill your quota,   And be sure to put this guys licence plate into the system so he gets pulled over for total bullshit...  ;)   Proud of you honey!
« Last Edit: January 20, 2007, 11:48:33 AM by Eric »

Offline tsw923

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: What a month-Updated
« Reply #31 on: January 20, 2007, 11:55:23 AM »
Blue --

Good luck to you and good riddance to him!  It does suck to be a stong woman sometimes.  But hey maybe you'll find someone new... who has a thing for handcuffs..... (sorry perhaps that's my own wishful thinking?.)

TSW
Help find a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, and other blood-related cancers by sponsoring me as I walk a 1/2 marathon as a part of the Maryland chapter of Team in Training.  To find out more and to donate, please click on the following site:  http://www.active.com/donate/tntmd/tswtntmd

Offline emeraldize

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  • Posts: 3,344
Re: What a month-Updated
« Reply #32 on: January 20, 2007, 05:17:02 PM »
*
« Last Edit: January 20, 2007, 10:05:34 PM by emeraldize »

Offline Eldon

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  • Posts: 2,664
Re: What a month-Updated
« Reply #33 on: January 20, 2007, 05:57:16 PM »
Blue: Very direct and straight forward I might add.


"What Can I do today to make a better Tomorrow?"

 


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