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Author Topic: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!  (Read 11613 times)

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Offline istremadura

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PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« on: January 15, 2007, 10:03:03 PM »
Make the story really short -

Virgin, don't use drugs - only sexual experience other than kissing - last week - blowjob from girl I met at a strip club - went fine - when she was done, noticed a BIG raw spot on my penis - flesh was missing, was hurting - she didn't bite me or anything - guess skin was irritated before the bj, and must have gotten worse during - didn't see her bleeding from her mouth - do I need to worry about this for even a second or can I move on and not worry?  Thanks guys.

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #1 on: January 16, 2007, 12:04:31 AM »
anyone? please, experts, if you could, I would really appreciate a response.

Offline thunter34

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2007, 12:11:21 AM »
No, you don't need to worry about HIV from this.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #3 on: January 16, 2007, 12:36:39 AM »
really? so I can just put this to bed once and for all?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2007, 08:51:59 AM »
Yes, really.

If you haven't already done so, please read the lesson on transmission on this site. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section. You get all the essentials there you need to know about HIV transmission including what NOT to worry about.

Your irritation on your penis notwithstanding, you weren't at risk during this recent blowjob. In the entire history of the epidemic there's never been a confirmed case of transmission from getting  your dick sucked. It's safe to say that you aren't going to make history by becoming the first. Really.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Help Please...
« Reply #5 on: October 11, 2007, 12:30:19 PM »
Let me start by saying that i have not visited this board in quite a while, and as such, was registering a new name - however, I remembered the password to the old email account my username was listed for, and thus had the password emailed to me - as such, moderators, there was a recent request to create an account for "rodneysaab@aol.com" - please reject that request as I do not want to create another username - this is the one I previously used and will stick to that.....

Now, moving on to my fear - I went to a strip club and got a vip room dance - the girl was completely nude, and I was only wearing boxers (ones that have a slit in them in the front) - anyway, we were up there for a half hour - she was grinding pretty hard - when I got home later, I noticed a few "brown" spots on my boxers in the front - not sure if that is maybe the result of dried blood from her, dried vaginal secretions, whatever......anyway, with teh caveat that I am an uncircumcised male, should I in any way be concerned about this incident and possibly hiv?  thanks for your help....i guess i was just concerned that if that was blood or vaginal fluids, and somehow some seeped through and got on my glans, perhaps I could be at risk - tahnks again.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2007, 12:33:09 PM by istremadura »

Offline istremadura

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Re: Help Please...
« Reply #6 on: October 11, 2007, 03:19:17 PM »
Andy, Ann, I'm sure you two are requested more than a cool music video on MTV - lol - but if you get the chance, and could please reply to my concern, I'd really appreciate it.  thank you :).

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #7 on: October 11, 2007, 05:51:13 PM »
First of all, I have merged your previous thread with the latest you have begun. Please keep all entries in this same thread. Thanks for your cooperation.

It doesn't matter what the stain was on your boxers. The kind of activity you have described, no matter how vigorously she was grinding and that you are not circumcised. It still was not in any way a risk for HIV transmission. Unprotected intercourse whether vaginal or anal is the risky business. Everything else is strictly theoretical and lap dancing or whatever is not even remotely a risk.

Cheers, 
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #8 on: October 11, 2007, 05:55:24 PM »
Thanks Andy - so I think I'm going to put this fear out of my mind and move on based upon what you said - what do you think, good idea?


And thank you for merging my threads - I know how you guys do this out of volunteering, and I really appreciate it.  Thanks!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #9 on: October 11, 2007, 05:57:10 PM »
Letting go of this unwarranted fear and getting on with your life is an excellent plan.

On with it!
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #10 on: October 11, 2007, 10:26:15 PM »
One other quick question - probably sounds ridiculous - I think more than likely this is my guilt over the situation kicking in - but anyway, after I got up from teh futon/bed, I thought I felt something sharp on my butt - got worried "what if there was a needle or somethign sharp there..." but that's more than likely an unfounded fear and just an urban legend, right?  i shouldnt' worry about that, should I?  thanks andy/everybody.

and again, i was only in my boxers, and they had slid down a little in the back, thus exposing some of the skin on my butt to the underlying area...
« Last Edit: October 11, 2007, 10:33:35 PM by istremadura »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2007, 03:22:19 AM »
We don't do "what ifs" here. You were never at risk for getting a blowjob.

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #12 on: October 12, 2007, 10:40:32 AM »
Thanks rapid - I agree I wasn't at risk from the bj - my latest queston was just that the whole "i sat on a needle" deal - that's just like urban legend, right?  I mean that's not something I should be concerned about/warrant testing, right?  thanks....

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #13 on: October 12, 2007, 10:48:57 AM »
That's right. It's just your mind playing with you.

Maybe you have for whatever reasons some personal guilt about this incident. You would know about that. As far as HIV there is nothing to be concerned about this time.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #14 on: November 21, 2007, 11:01:38 AM »
New fear - sorry to be back again - so went to a strip club - got a private show there with a girl - was deep kissing and fingering her - she then asked me if i wanted to have sex - i said no - anyway, as the time went on, i asked her if she had any stds.....she got nervous for a second - then finally, told me she had chlamydia - i'm not sure if i believed her, although she said repeatedly that's all it was.....anyway, from my risks (kissing, fingering) if she had hiv or something else, i wasn't at risk, was I?  i know this is an hiv board, but generally speaking, kissing and fingering are considered safe sex, right?  thanks for your help guys - and again, in regards to hiv - do i have anything to worry about here??  = im scared she had something more serious (i.e. hiv) and just said chlamydia to ease my fears as i clearly got nervous....

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #15 on: November 21, 2007, 11:32:24 AM »
Neither kissing nor fingering are risks for HIV transmission.

As far as other STDs, some can be transmitted by skin to skin contact. If you have any troublesome symptoms that's something to discuss with your doctor.

In general we recommend that anyone who is sexually active ought to have a full std panel done regularly -- at least annually and every six months is even better.

Don't misunderstand what I am saying. I am not saying you picked anything up during this incident, only addressing the STD issue in general. We can't diagnose anything here.

Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #16 on: November 21, 2007, 04:48:22 PM »
Hey Andy- thanks for your response - so I have nothing at all to even worry for a second for about hiv?

I have one other qeustion - so regarding any stds, I went to the san francisco clinic std page, and they had this chart on there, where at the bottom it said "fingering, kissing and mutual masturbation are considered safer sex and have little to no chance of transmitting stds...." from that i took that i don't need to worry about getting tested over this incident - i should include that i'm a virgin, and have not engaged even in oral sex.....so should I get a full panel - like is that necessary after this incident?  i'm not asking for a diagnosis - just owndering if i have a need to be concerned....thanks......and again - no worries about hiv? tahnks.

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #17 on: November 21, 2007, 06:08:39 PM »
I went to another site (and I know you can't believe everything you read on the internet), but there, medhelp.org, there's an expert forum - the doctor who responds is an infectious disease specialisit - and in one of his posts, he wrote that "fingering is not a risk for any std" - is he correct in making that point?  so do I not have to worry regarding this situation relative to any stds?  shoudl I worry about hiv? any others? thanks...and again, I know its considered just an hiv forum, but you guys know more aboutthis than me, and as im not looking for a diagnosis, i just want to know more...and am thus asking, is  fingering a risk for any std?  thanks.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #18 on: November 21, 2007, 06:20:00 PM »
Read the lessons on transmission. The link can be found in the "Welcome" thread. You don't contract HIV from fingering.

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #19 on: November 21, 2007, 06:21:40 PM »
should i test for any other stds b/c of fingering?  again, I know this is an hiv forum, but if you guys know if i should or shouldn't test for other stds after fingering, pleaset, tell me. thank you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #20 on: November 21, 2007, 06:23:20 PM »
No, you don't need to test for STDs from fingering.

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #21 on: November 21, 2007, 06:30:00 PM »
ok - lats question - sorry - no need for testing even though she said she had chlamydia, and b/c of her nervousness when saying what she had, led me to believe that maybe she had some other std...still no need to test?  thanks!!!

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #22 on: November 21, 2007, 06:40:27 PM »
I guess to rephrase that better, so I don't need testing even if she did have an std, b/c fingering, regardless of the partner's status for any std, is not a means of transmission?  Thank you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #23 on: November 21, 2007, 06:53:14 PM »
If you are so concerned go take an STD panel and collect your negative test result.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #24 on: November 21, 2007, 10:00:22 PM »
We deal specifically with HIV here. There are other STDs which can be transmitted by skin-to-skin contact. I think it's highly unlikely that fingering would result in any problem. I've never known it to happen.

In general we do recommend that anyone who's sexually active ought to do a full STD panel regularly. That means at least once a year.

If you have any symptoms that's something to discuss with your doctor.

This is NOT an HIV situation.
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #25 on: November 26, 2007, 08:39:45 PM »
I'm doing better handling my fears - just one more qeustion - so one of the things I've read is that patients with a higher viral load and who also have one of a certain few stds (i.e. syphillis) are more likely to infect negative partners during a risk encounter - so I have a question - if the girl that I was fingering was positive, even if she had a high viral load and/or another std that increases the likelihood of hiv transmission, would my fingering experience still be a no - risk situation for hiv?  tahnks guys.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #26 on: November 26, 2007, 10:06:17 PM »
You would still not be at risk.

MtD

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #27 on: November 27, 2007, 05:59:52 PM »
really? even if they had a high viral load and/or concurrent other std, i still wouldn't have to worry? still no risk?  andy, ann, do you guys agree? thanks guys.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #28 on: November 27, 2007, 10:02:02 PM »
IF the person you were with was HIV+ with a high viral load would still not be risk for transmission when the activity was fingering. Yes, I have noted all of your details.

You were not at risk. Period. End of story. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #29 on: April 19, 2008, 03:12:25 PM »
Hey guys - question for you - so yesterday I was at a strip club - the girl started fingering herself vigorously for a bit - then, right after that, she grabbed my hand and put my hand on her butt - I'm concerned that while fingering herself she either got vaginal fluid on her fingers and/or blood on her fingers and then could have transmitted that to my hand - is this a risk and/or concern? thanks guys.

Offline Ann

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #30 on: April 19, 2008, 05:36:00 PM »
is,

Hiv cannot be transmitted through the skin. Unless you've had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, you haven't been at risk.

Did you ever bother to read the Transmission Lesson linked to in our Welcome Thread? Read it and stop asking these no-risk questions. You've been around here long enough to have an understanding of what does and what does not constitute a risk for hiv infection.

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #31 on: April 20, 2008, 09:39:03 AM »
stepping back for a second and really looking at what I asked yesterday - and doing a little more reading - it's kind of absurd that I thought that was a risk, huh?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #32 on: April 20, 2008, 10:16:55 AM »
Yes, it is. Hold on to that thought.
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #33 on: June 27, 2008, 12:19:56 PM »
Hi guys - sorry that I'm back - so I have a question for you- I had an encounter the other day at a strip club - got a private show with a girl - basically like a lap dance where all we both have on is underwear, but I'm also wearing a condom - here's the thing - so after teh show is over (happy ending), I get up to take my condom off and there is blood in my semen inside the condom - very disconcerting at first - the blood is only on the inside of the condom - anyway, I spoke to my doctor and he said this is not anything to be concerned about (in regards to other sort of pathology relative to the penis) since it only  happened once, since it didn't happen the next time i ejaculated adn since I didn't have blood in my urine - but here's my concern relative to hiv - it was somewhat dark in there - is it possible that when she handed me teh condom, she was bleeding, and that some of that got on the condom before i put it on - and if so, would that be a risk at all for me as a way to possibly contract hiv?  im concerned that maybe the blood inside the condom wasn't mine - that it was hers, and that iwas there before i put the condom on....and then after i ejaculated, it all just got mixed up inside the condom - reason to be afraid?  thanks guys.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2008, 12:26:13 PM by istremadura »

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #34 on: June 27, 2008, 02:40:17 PM »
any of the experts available to comment?  I'm sorry I'm back here :(.

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #35 on: June 27, 2008, 04:30:56 PM »
Andy?  Ann?  Could one of you please comment on the post I have three replies above, and my fear...?

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #36 on: June 27, 2008, 04:37:34 PM »
Incase what i wrote earlier seems hard to follow - so got basically a underwear (me) to loose thong (her) lapdance - no insertion at all - I had a condom on - when it was over, the inside of my condom had blood and sperm there - so my fear is that perhaps there was some blood on the inside of the condom, perhaps of hers? before I put it on - could that put me at risk? 

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #37 on: June 27, 2008, 04:45:22 PM »
Once again you are worrying needlessly. Your mind is just going wild pasting bits together and scaring you. Nothing you did in that latest incident put you at risk for HIV transmission.

You're persuading me that perhaps you have any other sexual activity you ought to see a counselor or other professional to address your unwarranted fears about HIV in relation to sex.

This was not a risky incident. Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #38 on: April 09, 2009, 05:43:28 PM »
Hey guys - haven't been here for quite a while - make the story real short - Andy, ann, please help!!!

So to make it short:

Met a girl who dances at a nightclub - hung out with her a week later - didn't go past kissing (not worried about), and deep, deep vaginal fingering (worried about) - and note - didn't go past these two things b/c of details below...

Reason I'm worried:
-She admitted to me that 4 years previously she was an IV drug user (notes that she never got tested - never felt she had to) -
-I had a slight cut on one of the fingers that I used to finger her


Do I Need to worry for even a second about this incident?  Or am I totally in the clear from this incident b/c all i did were the above activities?
Do I need to test?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #39 on: April 09, 2009, 05:46:38 PM »
No, you do not need to worry and there is certainly no need to get tested.

You've been coming here long enough to know the basics. In terms of sexual risk for HIV as long as you always without exception use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse you will be well protected. It's really as simple as that. As long as you always use condoms it doesn't matter if your partner is HIV+ or not because condoms really do the job. Kissing, masturbation, getting a blowjob, etc. None of those activities are risks for HIV transmission.
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #40 on: April 09, 2009, 05:53:36 PM »
I suppose I always forget that the advice you give is saying "this isn't a risk even if the person is positive," right?  So even if she was positive from being a iv drug user, fingering still wouldn't be a risk cuts or no cuts, if im getitng you right, right?

thanks andy.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #41 on: April 09, 2009, 05:55:31 PM »
That's right. Even if she is HIV+, fingering is absolutely NOT a risk. 
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #42 on: April 13, 2009, 01:08:23 PM »
Thanks Andy -

So since I basically choose to not have pre-marital sex, mainly b/c I think I have too much of a personality disorder to be able to handle it (lol - atleast I'm self aware), regarding some of the safer things to do such as fingering....

In the future, I can engage in fingering and not a, worry at all about it and b, not feel bad if I can't run and wash my hands....right?

-Thanks.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #43 on: April 13, 2009, 01:22:05 PM »
Fingering is absolutely not a risk for HIV transmission.

Whether you do it and then choose or not to feel guilty about is a separate issue. With or without guilt it is not a risky behavior for HIV transmission.

Just make sure you use a condom everytime if and when you get around to having vaginal or anal intercourse. Those are the sexual activities which are risky if done without condoms.
Andy Velez

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #44 on: April 16, 2009, 11:57:15 AM »
Thanks Andy.

I suppose the other reason I'm concerned...she told me how about two months ago, she was really sick...that over the last 2.5 months, she had lost 20-30 lbs., that she had on and off periods of short fevers and night sweats...she said she was really upset at the time b/c her ex was trying to get back into her life  - she said she wasn't eating too well....so I asked her did you see a doctor, was it ever so bad tyou had to be admitted to a hosptial?  She said no, didn't need hospitalization, but did see a dr., that he got a cbc on her and that didn't show anything....So then I asked, were you tested for HIV, Hep, etc....she said that she hasn't had intercourse for 8 months, and that she was tested about 6 months ago at her annual OBGYN, and that she was negative....not sure how much I believe her, as to be frank, she talks alot and sometimes her stories seem to change....

Anyway....I take it I should not let any of that matter since even if she was positive, with a tremendously high viral load, I still wouldn't have a risk, right?
why do i have such trouble with these things and letting them go?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #45 on: April 16, 2009, 12:03:53 PM »
Even if she was positive you didn't have a risk. You might want to seek professional mental help to deal with your issues.

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #46 on: April 16, 2009, 01:01:20 PM »
You know what's kidn of dumb about my anxiety - 2 things -

1- I should realize that not only are you guys here to evaluate risks, but you're also here to educate and promote things such as safe sex, and hiv knowledge, etc., and that should lead me to know that you're going to err on the safe side when evaluating risks b/c you don't want people to go out and possibly infect others....so when you say no risk at all, I should take that and run with it and not worry for a second!

2 - Just b/c she got really sick 2 months ago, doesn't mean she had HIV!!!!  People get sick for lots of reasons; sick and weight loss do not equal HIV!!!

What is wrong with me?????

Offline Ann

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #47 on: April 16, 2009, 01:20:36 PM »
is,

We cannot tell you what is wrong with you. Only a doctor or therapist can, in a face-to-face setting.

We can tell you though, that it isn't good for you to keep fretting about NO RISK incidents. I suggest you seek counseling as we cannot help you with your unreasonable fears here.

We're not here to hold your hand everytime you get the hiv jitters. You've been coming here for over two years now and you should know the basics of hiv transmission and how to protect yourself by now.


If you keep posting about these NO RISK scenarios, you'll be given a time out. 

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann


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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline istremadura

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #48 on: April 16, 2009, 02:49:07 PM »
I apologize Ann - at this point, I think that would be the best next move for me - to make an appt. with a psychiatrist - you guys agree?  Thanks again.

Hopefully I can get over this at some point......

Offline Ann

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Re: PLEASE, EXPERTS, HELP!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #49 on: April 16, 2009, 03:16:48 PM »
Is,

Yes, good plan. A therapist/counselor can help you get over this sooner than you can (if you can) on your own. This forum cannot take the place of face-to-face therapy.

Good luck.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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