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Gaining Some Perspective

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As someone who has a relatively new diagnosis and as someone who has had major issues adapting to the meds I sometimes find that I lose a bit of perspective on things.  I wonder if my life is ever going to be anything like it used to be.  I wonder if the issues and problems that I'm having right now are going to plague me forever.  And yes, I sometimes find that I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself.  I think maybe it helps to be reminded that HIV isn't the only fight going on.  Lots of others are facing very serious things and what I find amazing is that nearly everyone has a similar response to their potentially "life threatening" situation.  They would not choose to have what they have, but it has made a difference in them and in their lives.  They consider themselves to be a better person because of what they have gone through.

I recently renewed a connection with a niece who has been battling cancer and we have had some great discussions about life and what it does when you find out you have a potentially life threatening condition.  Even though our situations differ, she still wakes up every morning wondering if her cancer is going to come back.  She was told the most likely route if it did would be in the lungs.  So every time she has any type of lung issues all of this comes crashing in.  The doctors find no evidence of the cancer, but she can never be assured that it is gone.  Just like those of us with HIV.  We may be undetectable, but it is always there, always haunting us.

She sent me this link to an article in the Joplin Missouri Globe today and I wanted to pass it on:

My niece walked the Survivor's Lap a couple of weeks ago in the Webb City Missouri Relay for Life.  She called me last Friday to say that no matter how down you you may get in the midst of this, there is light and hope on the other side.  I'm planning on being able to walk survivor's laps for many years to come.

Good thoughts, David. I guess fear will always be with most of us. Even after my 13 years living knowingly with this virus I still am not used to it, I still can get frightened. Somehow even more: Getting my life back made me live the life I really want to live, as a musician. I would be really angry if I got ill again now, after all these investments I made. the thought of something going wrong is harder than it used to be in the azt-monotherapy days, when it was cÚrtain that things would go wrong. Somehow that was a security too...

Your niece sounds like an inspiring person. I hope you two will be surviving a looooooong time together.



A Big Thumbs Up, David!  It's amazing what we humans can endure sometimes...
The power of positive thinking and not dwelling on the negative far outweighs
any thing you can take in a pill form.  I commend you on your good attitude and
wish you the very best. :-*


David, your perspective is refreshingly dead on.

My sister, when I recently told her about this, said in her awkward fashion, "Well, you know, you could have terminal cancer." I don't think she was trying to be glib or make invalid comparisons; rather, I think she was trying to be supportive in a way that made sense to her. And in any case, she's partly right. Perspective is often a prime determinant as to how we progress in our "new" lives.


You are nurturing a winning attitude David. Well done and thanks for sharing your thoughts,

Keep taking care



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