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Author Topic: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience  (Read 18455 times)

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Offline scaredandlonely

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Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« on: January 12, 2007, 05:40:24 PM »
Hi Everyone

I have been reading up on this subject and am starting to cope with this but I want some input as well. Here is my situation. I went to a massage parlor and got a handjob from the lady there, but while I was getting the handjob, I gave her oral but only for maybe 2-3 mins, and I did not see any sign of blood or anything like that. Now I am freaking out because I have a wife and daugther at home and I don't know if I am in danger of HIV or not. I read that is not a high risk but my oral health is not 100%, sometimes bleeding with brushing and three crowns in mouth. I am waiting to get tested, but I want to get some input on this issue if I even should be worried about testing or should just do it for piece of mind.

Thanks Everyone

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #1 on: January 12, 2007, 05:41:56 PM »
HIV no worry other STDs possible.

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #2 on: January 12, 2007, 05:42:59 PM »
What Kind of other std's could I get??

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #3 on: January 12, 2007, 05:46:43 PM »
Gonorrhea, syphilis, Herpies, and chlamydia to name a few.

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #4 on: January 12, 2007, 05:55:02 PM »
Thanks, I will do a full STD panel, I am probably due anyways, but is the HIV Testing even needed then or no?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2007, 05:57:59 PM »
No, an HIV test is not needed for cunnilingus.

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2007, 05:59:00 PM »
Can anyone else give me a second opinion? I am just trying to get on with this and need some help. I really appreciate it and thank you in advance as this is my only outlet to express my fear.

Offline cubbybear

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2007, 06:04:25 PM »
You really do not need a 2nd opinion, and Rod is more than capable of assessing your risk.  As for a second opinion, I also do not believe you need to test over this situation.  You are not going to get HIV from going down on a woman, but like Rod said, you may want to test for other STI's.
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2007, 06:15:10 PM »
Thanks Rapid and Cubby

I really do appreciate the advice, I will most likely test anyways because I am just a freak like that :) but I will not worry about a thing that is not there. Thanks for all the support, if you dont mind I will be back from time to time to update my situation.

I really do appreciate it again.

Thanks

Offline cubbybear

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #9 on: January 12, 2007, 06:22:52 PM »
No worries, if you need to test for your own peace of mind and sanity to help with any anxiety, then that can only be a good thing, but I totally expect to hear back from you with nothing more than a negative result.

Cheers.
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
Diagnosed 17/9/2005 CD4 35 VL 293,000
Meds 23/9/2005 Sustiva/Truvada
Currently CD4 232 VL Undetectable

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2007, 08:32:28 AM »
Hi Everyone

I just can't get this out of my head!! Has there ever been a case of a male contracting HIV from cunnilingus??
I am so nervous it is making me sick! I think it is most likely the guilt but I keep running through my head "what if?" Anyone who has been here before, can you let me know what you did to calm down until you could get tested?


Thanks Everyone, you have been a great help already!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2007, 11:11:40 AM »
No, we've already told you that there wasn't any risk. If some one would have ever contracted HIV, then we certainly would have not told you you weren't at risk.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #12 on: January 13, 2007, 11:28:19 AM »
If there was a test for guilt you would be in serious trouble. That's really what this is about because as far as HIV there is no basis for concern about this incident.

You can't undo the fact that you're a dog like the rest of us and you went straying. So wringing your hands and worrying won't do you or anyone else you care about any good. Testing is a waste of energy and assets, but go ahead and do it if that's going to close the situation for you.

What you really need to do is accept what you did, take a breath and get on with your life. That's the most loving thing to do for all concerned. No kidding. 
Andy Velez

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #13 on: January 15, 2007, 09:50:52 AM »
Thanks Everyone

I am kind of nervous this morning though because I am noticing white lines in my mouth, but not like thrush, it is like a line and a couple of spots but they came off with my toothbrush? My question is, is this a symptom of HIV or any other STD?? I don't feel any other pain or anything like that, but the white patches are concerning to me.  Thank you for everything you guys have done for me so far and the advice you have given me. Any feedback on this issue would be great though.

Thank You

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #14 on: January 15, 2007, 10:02:50 AM »
Reread all the replies that you have been given. Any of the symptoms you can come up with has nothing to do with HIV. See your doctor if you have concerns.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #15 on: January 15, 2007, 10:06:46 AM »
Are you listening?

Feeling nervous doesn't equal being HIV infected. You've been repeatedly told you weren't at risk. Feelings are not HIV facts.

Like I said before, you're dog. But that still doesn't change the fact that you were not at risk for HIV in this incident.  Period.
Andy Velez

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #16 on: January 15, 2007, 09:18:23 PM »
I still cant shake this, I saw this white spottedness in the inner parts of my cheeks 2 days after this incident and I can't get rid of it, when I look at sites that say what causes this, it points to HIV. Can someone please tell me if they had this symptom or is my mind just messing with me? I know I am being kind of a pain with this low risk issue, but I am really scared since this wont go away. I know in my mind if I didn't have this, that I would not be as nervous.

Any input would  be great

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #17 on: January 16, 2007, 03:13:40 AM »
No your symptoms do not point to HIV at all. Your symptoms came on to quick to even begin to have any correlation to HIV..

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2007, 01:01:38 PM »
It must be all in my head because the symptoms practically went away, all but one spot on my inner cheek but everything else cleared up.  Thanks everyone who has given me input, especially Rod and Andy. I am still kind of stressing but that is probably from the guilt of this and being stupid in regards to my own personal decisions. One more question for the road, even though there was no risk, I want to test anyways, just for closure. My question is could I do that at six weeks and rely on that result? I know CDC says 3 months but, I want to test ASAP to just forget about this.

Thanks Everyone.

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #19 on: January 17, 2007, 06:17:55 PM »
Hi Everyone

I am resposting just because I hadn't recieved any replies. Any input on the previous message would be great.

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #20 on: January 17, 2007, 06:27:04 PM »
If you have never had a risk, there is no time line to test. It's just a waste of money and resources.

Offline Coffeechick88

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #21 on: January 17, 2007, 06:29:24 PM »
It must be all in my head because the symptoms practically went away, all but one spot on my inner cheek but everything else cleared up.  Thanks everyone who has given me input, especially Rod and Andy. I am still kind of stressing but that is probably from the guilt of this and being stupid in regards to my own personal decisions. One more question for the road, even though there was no risk, I want to test anyways, just for closure. My question is could I do that at six weeks and rely on that result? I know CDC says 3 months but, I want to test ASAP to just forget about this.

Thanks Everyone.
Most people who are positive will test positive at 6 weeks, but to be definitive, a 3 month test is needed.  So a 6 week test, while extremely encouraging isn't conclusive.  In your case, it is up to you what you do.  There really isn't any need for you to test, so I would say in your case a 6 week test is fine, since it will say negative and any more tests after that will be negative since you didn't get HIV in this case.  Whatever you feel like doing, I gave you the guidelines......
Lucas James is here
Born 6-14-08 at 1233 am
8 lbs 14 oz, 22 in long

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #22 on: January 18, 2007, 05:38:14 PM »
Hi Everyone

I keep thinking about this, I know it is stupid, but I just can't get this out of my head. Is the Home Access test just as good as a doctors test?

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #23 on: January 18, 2007, 05:39:44 PM »
Oraquick is 99.8% effective.  And it doesnt have a problem with false NEGATIVES, false POSITIVES only.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #24 on: January 18, 2007, 05:40:49 PM »
Is that the take home test?? I know the other one was like HIV Express or something like that?

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #25 on: January 18, 2007, 05:48:26 PM »
Oraquick is not a take home test i dont believe.  Home Access is one of the only ones approved by the FDA that I am aware of.  Others shall speak on this more shortly im sure.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #26 on: January 18, 2007, 08:03:06 PM »
AC is correct, Home Access is the only FDA approved home testing kit.

Offline dtwpuck

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  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #27 on: January 18, 2007, 08:29:44 PM »
How's this for an idea?  Give you wife cunilingus and stick with that.
Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #28 on: January 18, 2007, 09:25:39 PM »
Thanks Everyone

And Puck, I agree, it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. This has opened my eyes big time, even though you have all told me it is not a risk, I am still nervous about it, but that is probably just the guilt. You have all been great, thank you for that in my time of need.

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #29 on: January 19, 2007, 07:19:08 AM »
This morning I woke up and saw that someone had a website where there was a risk on this forum. I was being told that there is no risk, only therotical. Can someone please shed some light on this, it really has me freaked out again.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #30 on: January 19, 2007, 09:10:06 AM »
Yeah, and if you look hard enough, you'll find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #31 on: January 19, 2007, 11:01:05 AM »
Scared...

Easy analogy.  Time travel is a theoretical possibility.  You can find a few instances where people "SAY" they have done it.  Go find me someone who has PROVEN they have done it.

Same thing with your situation.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #32 on: January 19, 2007, 11:05:10 AM »
I know that, it is just kind of one of those things that is just sticking in my head. I know I should not be worrying as much as I am after everything you have all told me. If anyone else wants to give feedback on this I will appreciate it.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #33 on: January 19, 2007, 11:06:38 AM »
They will all say the same thing they have been saying scared.  I dont think it matters how often we say it.  We cant get that out of your head for you.  Please seek help outside this forum.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Ann

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #34 on: January 19, 2007, 11:37:50 AM »
Scared,

You have NOT had a risk in anything you bring to this forum. If you need a test result to be able to believe us, then go test and collect your negative result.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #35 on: January 20, 2007, 10:55:41 AM »
Hi Everyone

I read that having inflamed gums or cuts increases the risk of transmission through cunnilingus. Is there any truth in this.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #36 on: January 20, 2007, 11:47:51 AM »
Scared, please seek the help of a mental health professional and stop coming here with trumped up reasons as to why you think you have something.  Quit asking questions and just test.  You'll be happily negative.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #37 on: January 20, 2007, 03:30:42 PM »
Thank You AC

I am just really nervous about the "what if's" and all that, even though you have all been very helpful in addressing my risks. I just have to wait it out. But I never did get an answer to that question, would that make a difference or not with the inflammed gums and such?

Thanks Everyone, Hopefully my next post on here will be with the negative results,god willing.

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #38 on: January 20, 2007, 10:15:24 PM »
You would have to have a massively fresh cut or SEVERE dental problems to have any type of theoretical risk.  Not to mention fresh blood or semen from the HIV pos person.

You have none of these scenarios and do NOT need to worry. 
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #39 on: January 22, 2007, 09:12:13 AM »
Thanks Everyone for your replies, the "what if's" have gotten ahold of me, but I probably need to shake that myself. I keep seeing different sites saying some risk, or low risk, or negliable risk. But all of you have said no risk. I am just so scared about what I might of done to my family and myself. I keep telling myself that there has never been a case documented, but then it comes back as what if I am the first? I just hope that I will come out of this OK.

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #40 on: January 22, 2007, 11:08:44 AM »
Why do some sites say it has a low risk and some say no or therotical risk??

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #41 on: January 22, 2007, 11:55:08 AM »
You are not the first and we cannot control what other sites say.  We give grounded medically backed scientifically proven documentation as our advice.

You are experiencing what seems to me like alot of guilt.  Please stop coming here with what if's.  Youre not doing yourself any good.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #42 on: January 22, 2007, 03:45:49 PM »
AC, you said I won't be the first? I thought no one has ever been documented by way of cunnilingus? Now I am freaked out all over again. Has there ever been cases of transmission in this way?

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #43 on: January 22, 2007, 03:48:03 PM »
JESUS man thats what I said!  YOU WILL NOT BE THE FIRST PERSON TO GET IT THIS WAY!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #44 on: January 23, 2007, 07:48:00 AM »
Someone please help, it feels like I am going insane, I cant sleep, all I think about is what if, and I just can't shake this. Any input as to how to deal with this would be great.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #45 on: January 23, 2007, 07:57:46 AM »
Go see a therapist or other mental health professional.

You do not have an HIV problem. No way no how.

We've done what we can do for you. Just because your mind keeps coming up with more scary what ifs doesn't mean they have any basis in HIV-science. Because they don't.

Get yourself some help to deal with the emotional aspects of this situation. We cannot provide that for you here.

Andy Velez

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #46 on: January 23, 2007, 05:10:57 PM »
Thank You Andy, I am just really nervous but I appreciate everyone stating the facts the way they have. The main reason I am nervous is because if I was Pos, I would not want to give it to my family, but from what you have all been saying, that should not even be a worry for me. I will try to cope with this until I can get a test so that my mind will finally realize the facts. Thanks again to everyone.

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #47 on: January 24, 2007, 06:55:13 AM »
Im really freaked out this morning, I have 2 black dots on my lower lip, I do not know why they are there. Is this a symptom or not? And also, my dentist yesterday said that I need a deep cleaning on my gums, does that mean my oral health is not good enough to stop the transmission of HIV. I am so scared and keep thinking I will be that one, even though it seems unilkely. Please Help!!!

Offline ACinKC

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #48 on: January 24, 2007, 09:21:01 AM »
If you think your positive then spend your own money and go test.  We are not going to change what we've said.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline scaredandlonely

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Re: Very Scared about first time cunnilingus experience
« Reply #49 on: January 24, 2007, 09:28:12 AM »
I was hoping you wouldn't change the assesments I have gotten, I just wanted to know if that makes a difference in the assesments given or not. I don't know if the deep cleaning of my gums means that my risk was higher therotically or not, thats what I was asking.

 


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