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Author Topic: I can't stand it anymore  (Read 10469 times)

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Offline twofires

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I can't stand it anymore
« on: January 10, 2007, 05:49:02 PM »
so I go to my health care provider today, having some issues revolving around the so-called "Happy Holiday Season" (burn in hell for all the good it does me) maybe some Seasonal Affective Disorder but mostly financial scary problems involving CPA's, self-employment/sole proprietorship, and my ADAP & Ryan White re-certification eligibilty

i was given a business card, this is supposed to be a "referral" for some mental health

honestly, I wish I lived in San Fran and could take care of my own mental health with a quick trip to my local medicinal marijuana provider (my buddy there says they actually deliver now)

anyway, I call the damn mental health fucktards and after a series of vague STUPID questions, the damn bitch gets christian on my ass and hangs up on me cuz she can't bear to hear words like SHIT and FUCK etc

Mind you, this is the same crisis hotline people are expected to call if they are in fact suicidal or homicidal

god damn fucking bible belt swine motherfucking pieces of shit

STILL no call back from the so-called "supervisor who is in a meeting"

apparently, crises are supposed to happen during business hours, and my crisis better fucking fit their god damn fucking worksheet because anything else is, well, not their problem

WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Lisa

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2007, 06:49:37 PM »
I don't know where you live, but hopefully there are more options for you other than this single place. Is there an ASO(Aids Service Organisation) you can contact? They are generally more helpful. Is there a public mental health facility near you?
I am sorry that you are in such straits without a response.
No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline Eldon

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2007, 07:02:28 PM »


Hey Twofires,

There is NO REASON or ANY excuse for you to be treated as such. I agree the all of this condeming superficial stuff needs to come to an END. It is NOT helping us, it is hurting us.

Do what you can to get the Director on the phone or even take a trip down there to have some sort of administrative action done. i trust that you got the name of the lady who slammed the phone down on you.






"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2007, 07:04:43 PM »
The other post makes sense now......  I live in kc but there are others that live in your area im sure that can hopefully guide you to other caring individuals.  You can call me and bitch at me anytime!!!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2007, 07:07:50 PM »
my care provider is the only game in town

staffed with a boatload of christian zealots

when I was in Ft Lauderdale, I went through 3 different care providers, the first two were closed down by the Feds for everything from stupid paperwork to passing our meds stupidly

now I am in the hick shit town with 1 count 'em 1 care provider getting Ryan White & ADAP funds

I cannot begin to express my frustration

I can see the bastards getting closed down any day now....
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Eldon

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2007, 07:11:59 PM »


Hey Twofires,

In this case, there is every reason to feel the way that you do. Something has to get done in order to come to some sort of SOLUTION. With any problem there IS a SOLUTION.





"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2007, 07:13:42 PM »
now how the FUCK is rhetoric going to help me?

does rhetoric know a better way to tie a noose???
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2007, 07:16:22 PM »
Easy man....  are you really having those kinds of thoughts?
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2007, 07:17:58 PM »
I get hung up 3 times by the crisis hotline....what the fuck do you think?
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Eldon

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2007, 07:18:38 PM »


Hey Now,

IF I were there and IF I were in the position to do something for you...I would LISTEN and take some ACTION. I am trying my best here to relate to your situation somehow as it is frustrating. Everyone needs to get their arse off of their shoulders and get something done here. No Pun.





"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2007, 07:30:58 PM »
you ARE in a position to help

all of you

by letting me fucking vent

telling me to take it elsewhere is a blow off
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Cliff

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #11 on: January 10, 2007, 07:36:42 PM »
Venting and lashing out at people who have nothing to do with your frustrations are two different things. 

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #12 on: January 10, 2007, 07:39:49 PM »
you want some lashing out?

step up front

your comment is stupid.

Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Eldon

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2007, 07:41:43 PM »


OK...

You are frustrated. We are concerned. We are listening. What is it that you seek right now?





"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2007, 07:45:59 PM »
we sound a little condescending....
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Eldon

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #15 on: January 10, 2007, 07:51:43 PM »


Hey 2,

There is no rank pulling going on here.

What can WE do to HELP you?

What is it that you seek?






"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #16 on: January 10, 2007, 07:54:50 PM »
I'll say this: I do NOT need anyone telling me to Take It Elsewhere

I get enough of that from my so-called "Care Provider"
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #17 on: January 10, 2007, 07:58:25 PM »
Then don't bitch about it. We advised you where to post. That's all we can do. It's all up to you.

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #18 on: January 10, 2007, 07:59:25 PM »
oh Please do tell Queen Akasha that she also is a major FUCKUP for even mentioning someing health related in this stupid forum
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Eldon

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #19 on: January 10, 2007, 08:01:39 PM »


Hey 2,

Let's compromise here. What is it that you seek?





"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #20 on: January 10, 2007, 08:10:34 PM »
oh Please do tell Queen Akasha that she also is a major FUCKUP for even mentioning someing health related in this stupid forum

Seriously man..... settle down a little bit.  She isnt attacking people like you are.  I have asked you SEVERAL times what you need, you just keep bitching.  Which is fine BUT the difference is you are starting to attack the messengers! 

You say you want sympathy and to vent and we are TRYING to tell you WHERE you can get that.  What is it that you dont like about the living with forum?
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #21 on: January 10, 2007, 08:11:34 PM »
eldon, you are repeating yourself and starting to sound like the stupid people at the crisis hotline reading from their script.

are you all so tuired of my "bitching"????

shall I never disturb your pleasant little world ever again?????
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #22 on: January 10, 2007, 08:13:00 PM »
We dont mind bitching about THINGS but being bitched AT is not healthy for YOU and it is NOT healthy for US.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Eldon

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #23 on: January 10, 2007, 08:17:21 PM »


Hey 2,

When it does not click the first time. It has to get repeated over and over again until it clicks inside of your mind. Now are you going to continue to AVOID the question?

What IS it that you seek right now?

How can we HELP you if you are bitching at us?

Answer the question so I do not have to keep repeating myself. When you AVOID it , it does not solve the problem.





"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #24 on: January 10, 2007, 08:22:25 PM »
This is how and where to do it to get the MAXIMUM bang for your buck two....

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=7680.msg89104#msg89104

What do you need.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline twofires

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    • Artists Farm
Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #25 on: January 10, 2007, 08:24:11 PM »
what the hell is this, the Spanish Inquisition???
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #26 on: January 10, 2007, 08:27:19 PM »
Are you KIDDING ME?  YOU brought all this up!!!!

You ATTACK us, you OBVIOUSLY need some help so we ask what we can do......

Tell us about what is bothering you if you want us to listen we will!!!!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Eldon

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #27 on: January 10, 2007, 08:32:57 PM »

OK 2 Stop it right now.

You had your intentions when you started this thread tonight.

Was you intent to find someone to provke to your anger? i think it is. this is how I perceive it.

Everyone who is reading this thread right now. DO NOT give in to this iobvious intent of provoking someone. IT IS A WASTE OF YOUR TIME AND YOUR ENERGY!





"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #28 on: January 10, 2007, 08:34:40 PM »
HOW DARE YOU ELDON

really, How Dare You?
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #29 on: January 10, 2007, 08:39:20 PM »
Two, he is partially correct.  You ARE trying to draw people into this.  You have revealed VERY little about what it is that is wrong yet you keep bashing all of us for not helping you.

Now.... about the car and CPA.... how can i help.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline twofires

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    • Artists Farm
Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #30 on: January 10, 2007, 08:42:09 PM »
I am not "drawing" anyone into my thread. They come of their own accord.

I am pissed as hell at the world, and if you see this as drawing people into my problem then JUST STOP READING MY THREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #31 on: January 10, 2007, 08:45:16 PM »
First you want our help and now you are telling us to stay the hell away......

I feel for you man, you're in some bad karma right now.  Good luck brother.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #32 on: January 10, 2007, 08:46:44 PM »
did I ask for help???

Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #33 on: January 10, 2007, 08:48:36 PM »
You arent asking you are SCREAMING for help.  You might not know it exactly, but it is oozing from your every pore right now.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Eldon

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #34 on: January 10, 2007, 08:49:16 PM »


Hey 2,

You just ADMITED your intent. Congratulations. It was also posted in the other thread before you even spoke the words.  

Leave AC alone. The pissing match is oficially over.






"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #35 on: January 10, 2007, 08:49:34 PM »
brilliant deduction

now, having been to to get the fuck out of here, I do so
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #36 on: January 10, 2007, 08:51:51 PM »
two threads is SOOOOOOO confusing!
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #37 on: January 10, 2007, 08:52:53 PM »
*
« Last Edit: January 11, 2007, 09:51:39 AM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Eldon

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  • Posts: 2,664
Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #38 on: January 10, 2007, 08:57:07 PM »


Hey 2,

Yes, I said what I said and I will say it again if I need to do so. Something in your world triggered your Anger which let to an intent which led to other things which led to your thread getting locked and this one will just as well.

PLEASE NOTE: When someone is trying to HELP you do not beat up on them. They may be the only ones to help you with your situation. If you don't have anyone else then you are S.O.L. That is a terrible place to be in.

THINK ABOUT IT AND YOUR ACTIONS.





"What can I notice right now that makes me smile?"

Offline Strayboy74

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #39 on: January 10, 2007, 09:07:02 PM »
« Last Edit: January 11, 2007, 12:29:08 AM by Strayboy74 »

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #40 on: January 10, 2007, 09:11:24 PM »
twofires,

I'm not sure what happened with this thread but I sympathize with your initial post and I'm sorry the focus was moved away.

I wish I could offer to help in a tangible way but can't.  Your situation seems to be greatly out of whack in regard to the role of an ASO.  If you go through the public (county or state) mental health system most of the time you're screwed so a decent ASO is critical.  Your experience with the hotline doesn't sound too surprising though -- appalling but not surprising. 

Excuse my bluntness but you seem greatly wound up -- are you going to be OK?  If you're feeling self-destructive please call 911 or the hotline again and ask for assistance.  I assume you don't have medical insurance or you'd probably have other options.  Do you have Medicare or Medicaid?  Again I assume you don't since I believe you've said you're self-employed.   Like I said, I'm no real help.

Obviously you live where you do for a reason but is moving to a location with a better standard of care for HIV+ people a possible option?  At all?  If you're receiving substandard treatment (and it sounds like it to me) your chances of successfully dealing with the virus are diminished.  I know, unhappily and unfortunately, you are not alone as far as the poor level of services offered.  Again I am without any helpful advice.

I hope you're OK and having a temporary bad time with all the stupid crap you've had to deal with and also hope you have more options than you're presently aware of. 

This isn't meant as an inquisition, I swear!

Boo
 

String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #41 on: January 10, 2007, 10:07:22 PM »
Twofires those of us who deal with ADAP for our survival can and should empathize with your frustration. I feel your need to rage against the machine coming through my computer screen...and I know for you it is real and not something to make light of. I have been dealing with a $6000 hospital bill for two years now that one day I am told is covered, the next day it is not...depending on which bureaucrat I have on the phone. Rant, rage, drink or drug we all know options can sometimes seem limited. I hope you can sleep on it and come back tomorrow. I promise I will listen. 

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #42 on: January 10, 2007, 10:36:41 PM »
>Excuse my bluntness but you seem greatly wound up -- are you going to be OK?

NO I am NOT ok

I just got shut down by a moderator

I won't go into my disgust for Mr Killjoyfoil

i am SOOO SOOORRY for not sticking to the "proper" forum

I am also SOOOOOOOO SORRRRRRRYYYYY for using profanity as if none of you have EVER heard SHIT or FUCK

but if this is what gets my threrads killed, then why should I even think this is any kind of haven for HIV positive people??
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #43 on: January 10, 2007, 11:39:51 PM »
Quote
Excuse my bluntness but you seem greatly wound up -- are you going to be OK?

NO I am NOT ok

I'm sorry.  Like I said, no one can really do anything to change the situation but we can offer understanding, empathy, sympathy, encouragement, or whatever types of words might help you to figure out how to get to OK, if that's possible.   I say, as someone who has had mental/emotional problems all my worthless life and sees a psychiatrist once a month (but I usually do a great job of masking my thoughts/emotions), you may need professional help beyond the abilities of an online forum.  Dealing with HIV is bad enough as it is but if one doesn't have much of a support system when he needs it he's got to be frustrated and angry and feeling like nothing will improve. 

I don't give a rat's ass how much cursing someone does as long as it's not racist, misogynistic, too misanthropic, etc. but the moderators have reasonably higher standards for how discourse should occur here.  If they tell me not to write "fuck" I might argue but if they tell me not to write "fuck off" that's a more reasonable request.

I am sorry I cannot help but from your previous posts you seem like many of the other people here trying to live with HIV but today something seems to have hit the fan. 

Good night.

Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #44 on: January 10, 2007, 11:43:12 PM »
I'm sorry.  Like I said, no one can really do anything to change the situation but we can offer understanding, empathy, sympathy, encouragement, or whatever types of words might help you to figure out how to get to OK, if that's possible.   

damn it YES!!!!!

so how is it I get my other thread killed when I just need a sympathetic ear??????????????
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Strayboy74

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #45 on: January 10, 2007, 11:49:16 PM »
so how is it I get my other thread killed when I just need a sympathetic ear??????????????


I want to know what you have to say!

we all do!

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #46 on: January 10, 2007, 11:54:17 PM »
apparently the moderator thinks not......
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Strayboy74

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #47 on: January 10, 2007, 11:55:23 PM »
apparently the moderator thinks not......
JUST SAY IT!!

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #48 on: January 10, 2007, 11:56:38 PM »
ok fine:

I Need BUDS!
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #49 on: January 11, 2007, 12:00:15 AM »
ok fine:

I Need BUDS!

see, that's all you had to say

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #50 on: January 11, 2007, 12:03:14 AM »
see, that's all you had to say

so you got some?

Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #51 on: January 11, 2007, 12:06:27 AM »
oh.... i thought "buds" = friends ... i don't smoke, i don't drink, i don't eat fried chicken either (but i want to)

talk to us, we will make you laugh - seriously

Offline Strayboy74

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #52 on: January 11, 2007, 12:12:39 AM »
so you got some?

I'm standin' at the end of a real long road
waiting for my new friends to come
I don't care if I'm hungry, or freezin' and cold...
I'm gonna get me some....   talkin' about friends....

you've got a great deal going for you.  I looked at your website.  leatherworking is a very lucrative endeavor.  I think you're caught in a moment you can't get out of.   If you aren't, pardon me for my attempt at empathy.

Know that nothing is forever... whatever you're experiencing... 20 years from now, 20 days from now, even 20 hours from now... things are gonna seem different.  But we'll still be here for you.

*hug*

-joseph

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #53 on: January 11, 2007, 12:15:52 AM »
just get the damn fucking llamas out of here

fucking like to insult me some more?? step up to my face and do so

UI already spent 5 god damn years in a federal prison, I would enjoy another bit for manslauhter

and DO NOT take that lightly; manslaughter gets you far less time than a few hits of LSD (3 years versus 5 years)

STEP UP!!!
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Strayboy74

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #54 on: January 11, 2007, 12:23:04 AM »
STEP UP!!!

I step up, twofires.

I've nothing to lose.

I come to you open and ready to talk about what bothers you.

Threaten me if you will... but you've already shown the goodness inside of you through other posts.

Talk to us.

-joseph

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #55 on: January 11, 2007, 12:24:26 AM »
damn it YES!!!!!

so how is it I get my other thread killed when I just need a sympathetic ear??????????????

I'm not going back to dredge up exact quotes but when you toss obscenities or overly hostile remarks at other forum members the moderators step in to maintain civility.  Like I said in another post if they asked me not to write "fuck" I might argue but if I'm asked not to write "fuck you" it's a reasonable request.

I don't agree 100% but several other posters were sincerely offering advice to post in "Living with" because that's where we all usually discuss personal HIV related issues.  It was not meant to insult or belittle you.

I also wish you would return to your issues with the ASO (or whatever the organization is) because I'm unsure what you might attempt to do get better treatment.   I'm not sure I fully understand your crisis.   You've written several separate posts tonight all appearing to deal with these issues and I haven't read all of them.  I'm getting ready to walk my dogs and go to sleep so won't read them tonight.

I can definitely tell you a lot of the volunteers and even paid operators on crisis lines or other hot lines will hang up if they believe you're using abusive language.  If you think about being in the same situation as they are you might understand.  I am not diminishing the very real problems you have with the ASO but in all communication and correspondence you should not deflect your real need by using words or phrases that make some people immediately write you off.   That's easy for me to say because I'm not in your shoes but I cannot offer anything else but advice -- you're the only person in your shoes.

I hope you get a decent night's sleep and feel better tomorrow, even though nothing has materially changed.  If you want to release anger write a diatribe against the people interfering with your life now and we'll understand.  Vent in a manner that will elicit sympathy and you'll get it. 

Boo
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #56 on: January 11, 2007, 12:25:22 AM »
oh, Andrew/ACinKC can't take his llama out because he's offline right now - However, the llamas arent an insult on you or any one person ...... We just use the llamas to possibly get someone to maybe laugh and then the discussion often changes for the better

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #57 on: January 11, 2007, 12:29:22 AM »
HA ha laugh my meds troubles away

WTF are you people trying to say to me???

the damn llamas are an insult



Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Longislander

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #58 on: January 11, 2007, 12:30:58 AM »
what are buds? pot?
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #59 on: January 11, 2007, 12:31:31 AM »

Offline Longislander

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #60 on: January 11, 2007, 12:34:40 AM »
ahh, thanks Alex. Not my scene, sorry.
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #61 on: January 11, 2007, 12:36:53 AM »
ahh, thanks Alex. Not my scene, sorry.

what did you think, I need sex buds?

That too... actually....

georgia is turning out to be damned sorry for a fulfilling sex life.....
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Longislander

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #62 on: January 11, 2007, 12:41:10 AM »
I thought there were tons of gay guys in Atlanta. When I went there a few years ago, I think there were 3 gay bars in the same shopping center?! Are you too far away from Atlanta?

And shoot, I don't know what sex buds are either.
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #63 on: January 11, 2007, 12:45:18 AM »
then get out of my thread!
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Boo Radley

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #64 on: January 11, 2007, 12:53:21 AM »
And shoot, I don't know what sex buds are either.

Then come up to my place and I'll show you...

Boo the slut
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.

Offline Tim Horn

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #65 on: January 11, 2007, 08:13:21 AM »
Twofires:

Okay, so you've now received a warning from Ann in this thread, with a good explanation as to why we decided to lock it:

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=7723.0

The fact is, we received several complaints last night regarding your antagonistic behavior.  Like Ann says, you're free to bitch, cuss, and vent all you want regarding your situation... but to hurl all this stuff at others in the Forums simply isn't acceptable. 

No matter how bad people have it in the Forums -- and, yes, some people have it really, really bad -- it's simply not okay to take frustration out on others. 

I'm sorry, but I'm not seeing anybody in this thread suggest that you "take it elsewhere."  Early on in this thread, a few folks passed along some sage words of advice -- that you check in with a local AIDS service organization to help you find the best services in your area.  Nobody told you that they didn't want to hear what you had to say and that your issues and concerns have no place here. 

If all you wanted to do was vent -- and were not at all interested in receiving pragmatic advice from others (knowing well that this is what many people try to provide in the Forums) -- you should have said so. 

Okay, so you didn't appreciate Eldon's rhetoric... that's certainly a valid concern... but it's not as if Eldon was the only one responding to your message.  Either put him on ignore (you'll never have to read a message from him again) or simply bypass his comments. 

Another suggestion: it would have been better to post this thread in the Living With HIV Forum, not the Off Topic Forum.  Yup, there's plenty of banter here that, understandably, seems totally trivial to you right now.  Well, this kind of stuff doesn't fly in the Living With HIV Forum.  In fact, I'm moving this thread to that Forum now.

Twofires, I totally appreciate how frustrated you are... and I sense that the vast majority of people who have read your recent posts fully realize that your are speaking out of frustration.  But please... I'm begging you... take some time, or at least some deep breaths, before jumping back into the fray with more aggression and salty language.  A seven-day Time Out is the next step for us, should you continue taking things out on others... and this is something that we do not want to do.

Thanks... please stay with us and let us know how things evolve from here,

Tim Horn   

« Last Edit: January 11, 2007, 08:25:30 AM by Tim Horn »

Offline twofires

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #66 on: January 11, 2007, 08:26:07 AM »
firstly, I do NOT start hurling insults until I feel I am getting backed into a corner

secondly, kilfoile's remark out to get him banned forever

third, why do i feel like there is a knife plunged into my back???

offhand cracks that I appear to be off my meds? that I do not even kknow what kind of services are in my area? do you take me for a simpleton???
Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline Dachshund

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #67 on: January 11, 2007, 08:44:50 AM »
Believe me, I understand your frustration, anger and rage. No need to go into details, but after losing my insurance I can relate to what you are going through. Many here feel your frustration and we all feel like throwing up our hands with a big just f*ck it from time to time. Forget about what others post...it matters not. Solutions...I am not sure I have any? Empathy I can offer in spades, knowing full well it can't repair a transmission.

Hal

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #68 on: January 11, 2007, 08:55:54 AM »
Two, I just want to say hi.

It's hard to know what to say to you even though I would like to be able have some conversation. I think others may feel similarly. We can't know exactly what's going on with your nor how it feels -- none of us can with anyone else. But that doesn't mean we're not interested or concerned.

Give us some room to be imperfect and we'll do the best we can to keep you company and hear what you have to say.

 If we were actually together in person I might just sit and keep you company or ask you if you'd like to take a walk.

I hope there's something good in your day today.


Sincerely, 
« Last Edit: January 11, 2007, 10:12:59 AM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #69 on: January 11, 2007, 09:50:58 AM »
Two, sorry about the llama's.  You were in off topic so I posted some humor as that is what that forum is about.  I had to log off last night because it was starting to get unhealthy for me.  My wife was sitting with me and she was worried I was getting too wrapped up in this, and I have to consider her first.

I am not out to insult you but if you want to talk about a knife in the back......  re-read my posts, I ASKED NUMEROUS TIMES to help you, and all you did was attack.

I am not capable of helping you but I wish you the best of luck getting what you need.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #70 on: January 11, 2007, 09:55:04 AM »
just get the damn fucking llamas out of here

fucking like to insult me some more?? step up to my face and do so

UI already spent 5 god damn years in a federal prison, I would enjoy another bit for manslauhter

and DO NOT take that lightly; manslaughter gets you far less time than a few hits of LSD (3 years versus 5 years)

STEP UP!!!

I removed the llama.... please dont ever threaten ANYONE with killing them again, I am a patient man and I believe I have shown you this but I do NOT take lightly the thought of someone ending my time on this earth early.  (Being that someone already did that to me which is why I am here)
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: I can't stand it anymore
« Reply #71 on: January 11, 2007, 11:21:54 PM »
firstly, I do NOT start hurling insults until I feel I am getting backed into a corner

secondly, kilfoile's remark out to get him banned forever

third, why do i feel like there is a knife plunged into my back???

offhand cracks that I appear to be off my meds? that I do not even kknow what kind of services are in my area? do you take me for a simpleton???

I'm sorry if you took my mentioning being off of meds a crack, it was not meant to be that way. I know some who are on meds and when they stop taking them they get very agitated. I have heard that you went to get help, I sincerely hope that helps you.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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