HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?


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I had a scary encounter 4 weeks ago and I am freaked out about it.  I hooked up with a guy that I have hooked up with once before, about a year or so ago.  He said that he was D&D free and that we can play safe and no exchange of fluids.  This time we did mutual oral with no ejaculation and he rimmed and fingered me.  He then penetrated me for about 3-5 seconds, when I realized he didn't have a condom on and I freaked out.  I made him stop immediatley.  He didn't ejaculate and only thrusted 2, maybe 3 times and only penetrated me a couple of inches.   It also ruined the moment and ended the encounter.  I was tested this week for the full gambit of STDs, all negative so far and now have to wait a few days for the HIV results.  This is really freaking me out.  I am a bisexual guy who only has about 4-6 male to male encounters a year, which is almost always limited to mutual oral.  I have only been bottomed 3 times before this, all protected and I have only topped about 6 times before, all protected again.  I get my test results back in a few days but in the meantime I am really scared.  Since this has happened my sex drive has gone to zero and I am very worried.  I have read quite a few of the threads in here and they are very informative and comforting.  I hope you can give me some advice that will ease my nerves a bit until I recieve the test results.

Andy Velez:
Hi Mc,

From what you have described, the risk was minimal in the situation. But just to be absolutely certain about your status, getting tested is a good idea. However, since all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after a possible exposure, I recommend you wait another two weeks to be tested.

The CDC recommends testing at 13 weeks. Assuming you test negative as I expect you will, it's up to you to decide whether you want to be absolutely sure in which case re-test at 13 weeks.

You can have all the sex you want to with whomever. Just make sure that whoever is the insertive partner is always without exception wearing a condom. Having a conversation about that before events begin is often a good move to insure about safer sex.

I expect you to come out of this one ok.

Thanks for your reassuring words.  I have had trouble sleeping and my mind keeps wandering.  I am stressed out over this.  I do plan on getting tested again in a few months.  Hopefully by then my sex drive will return.  I know it is probably all in my head but disturbing none the less.

Andy Velez:
I see this situation as more about in your head stuff than actual risk. So work on staying productively busy. When you find yourself tensing up, take some good deep and slow breaths in and out. It's amazing what a difference having enough oxygen can make. Do it. It really works.

When you get scared, just notice the thought or feeling and take a breath. Soon another different feeling or thought will come. The problem is when you panic and want to push thoughts and feelings away. Then they really stick and things get nutz.

I expect you to come out of this ok.


Thanks again for your comforting words.  It does help ease my anxiety.http://


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