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Author Topic: Poz/Neg Relationships  (Read 3038 times)

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Offline Seven

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  • Posts: 108
Poz/Neg Relationships
« on: January 17, 2007, 12:46:25 AM »
Hello again,

I am new to this board and I wanted to get an idea of who else out there are in a poz/neg relationship like me. I wanted to hear other stories of how you found out you were poz, was it already when you were in a  relationship. Did your bf/gf/partner leave you becauce of your status? Are you married?


Seven  :)

Offline i_am_scared

  • Member
  • Posts: 22
Re: Poz/Neg Relationships
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2007, 04:30:59 AM »
Hi Steven,

It has been a week since my boyfriend tested POZ and I am still coming to terms with the result. I am HIV- but I will be tested again in Toronto soon. I hope I am fine.

I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. He is in Canada and I am in Australia. I will fly to Canada next week to start my life with him. We will get married on March 4th 2007.

My partner first thought he may be HIV+ about a year and half ago but was too affraid to get tested. Meeting me, my partner was motivated to get tested. His first rapid test come back POZ. We are waiting for the second round of test to confirm the result. We will also get his first set of blood counts.

I am going trhough all the emotions at the moment. I have done a lot fo crying and I am really scared to see the one I love get sick........even worse die. I know now that HIV isn't a death sentence. My partner is holding up much better then I. He just got his confirmation but he has been lving as a HIV person for the last year and half. He even told his 2 best friends he was POZ. He didn't know for sure. I guess he has more time to soak this up. This is still fresh for me.

I am yet to sleep with my boyfriend. So far, I think will be ok. We just need to be safe when we have sex. My partner has been saying things like, you will top me and I will perform oral on you etc..........I don't want to feel like I am getting all the pleasure. I want to also please my partner. We have spoken about doing some role playing and light bondage.......we have agreed to find our groove.

What I want now is to connect with my partner. I want to touch and feel him. I want to kiss him and look into his eyes. Sex is the last thing on my mind. My partner and I have agreed to take things slow.

I am scared of loosing my partner HIV. I am also scared of him getting sick. As bad as this sounds, if he starts looking like he has AIDS symptoms, I don't know if I could sleep with him. I don't know, it's all too much for me at the moment.

All up, I fee like we will have a great relationship. We have connected on a much deeper level. We feel that our souls are connected. Nothing will ever break us a part.

This is my experience so far being in a mixed relationship.

I wish you best of luck

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. -- Anonymous

Offline red_Dragon888

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,839
  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: Poz/Neg Relationships
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2007, 08:56:37 AM »
Check earlier postings for the last few days.  This topic seems to be the flavor of the week.

Off Crystal Meth since May 13, 2013.  In recovery with 20 months clean time.

Offline poet

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  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: Poz/Neg Relationships
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2007, 10:02:56 AM »
Welcome to the forums, Seven.  I agree with Red and would extend the search to threads going back to recent weeks.  This is not to say that you or anyone else needs to spend days reading posts before you start a thread.  We are so grateful each time a new, fresh voice/perspective starts to post.  It simply may be easier for you to check out the answers already put across, answers which are there, rather than waiting to see who posts now.  And, speaking only for myself, if a particular poster's comment hits home for you, use the p.m. option on his or her profile to send a message.  It's another great way to get the response that you need when you need it.  Best, Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Poz/Neg Relationships
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2007, 12:39:11 PM »
As for my "story"....

I was married previously for 8 years.  I discovered my bisexuality about year 1.5 (STUPID AOL MADE IT EASY)  id fantasized about it for YEARS after an incident with a friend when I was like 12.  ANYWAY, I started out just givin blowjobs.  But quickly moved into other things like full on sex.  After a couple of years of meeting about 1 guy and several women every 2 or 3 months or so I "upgraded" and went to a full blown sex addiciton.

I found websites that allowed me to cruise regularly, I found parks here in town, bath houses and porn arcades and theatres.  I REALLY became a man whore at that point sometimes having sex with as many as 10-15 guys in a day, but usually more like 3-4 a day 2 or 3 days a week.  It was AWFUL.  It was during this time I got my infection.  Im not sure from who as I very rarely used protection.  There were flings with women mixed in there as well dozens of them.... strippers, girls at bars, women on the internet etc..  But men were EASIER to find so there were more of them.  I was being tested every 6 months due to infertility issues with the wife so I knew i wasnt exposing her for MOST of that time.

Flash forward to 2 days before Thanksgiving 2003.... i was out cruising a park and lying to wife #1 where I was.  I get home about 6:30 after gettin no action.  She is waiting for me in the living room with a letter in her hand.  One of my "regulars" narced me out.  Giving full details about what I was doing with my days and how i liked to be fucked and that I had been doing it with guys with AIDS (if he knew he shoulda warned me).  SO, she left and I checked myself in to treatment for 90 days.  It was there i was diagnosed in Dec. of 2003.

March of 2004 I tell a girl in my office I need a DATE and she calls a friend of hers to meet us for lunch.  It went well. And I saw her 3 more times in a couple of days.  At this time I was STILL married but seperated AND my soon to be x wife was pregnant!!!  So, I explained myself to my new friend and told her I was NOT a good husband  and I cheated all the time but that wasnt who I wanted to be.  In all fairness SHE WAS A BAD WIFE i had 2 blowjobs (bad ones) in like 8 years and the woman never MASTURBATED!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE!!!!  And im a sexual animal!  So long story short, new girl appreciated the truth ( i left out the part about the guys)  she told me that same night that she was into girls and was i OK with that!?  Needless to say......I was in LOVE.

3 months into the relationship I tell her my status.  We had slept together several times always protected and were very much in love.  She handled it better than I could have ever hoped.  3 months later it comes up exactly HOW i got the virus and I told her the whole story.  And she asked if I was bi and I said yeah I would say so.  And she said that could be HOT to watch!  So we went to some swingers clubs and I got to watch her and then we'd come home get on the internet and find a guy so she could watch ME.  SHE IS SUCH A FUCKING TURN ON!  Just today I asked her if she wanted an escort to pound her for her birthday and she was like YEAH!  But she also wants to see me with a guy since it has been about 2 years since I have been with one.  And the wierd and beautiful thing is... i dont crave it like i used to before her.  And its cause im so happy and in love with what I have with her.  There would be nothing I ever do to jeapordize it.  She lets me live out whatever fantasies I have in life with HER there.  It doesnt get any better than that so we got married in October of 2006 and THAT was the happiest day of my life.

Is that LONG enough?  Do ya need more information? 
« Last Edit: January 17, 2007, 12:41:04 PM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A

Offline Toronto37

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Poz/Neg Relationships
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2007, 01:42:23 PM »
Hey Seven

I am also in a poz/neg relationship.  I found out I was poz when I was sick with seroconversion and still living on my own in Toronto.  When I found out I called my then bf to tell him that I was poz and we should end the relationship.  He just said no way, it does not change a thing.  We were married 6 months later and are now living together. No issues to speak of so far.

I am healthy and we are very happy. 


December 2004 - Infected.
February 2005 - Seroconverted.
April 2005 - CD4 340 VL 82,467 CD% 17.3.
March 2006 - CD4 300 VL 59,155 CD%19.4
April 2006 - Viramune & Truvada .
September 2006 - CD4 580 VL 0 CD% 22.0
August 2007 - CD4 860 VL 0 CD% 26.0
No problems/side effects.

Offline Teresa

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  • Posts: 1,754
Re: Poz/Neg Relationships
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2007, 03:12:06 PM »
Hey Seven,

I'm negative and hubby is positive. We found out 8 months ago.  We have been married over 5 yrs. The Dr's think he he was infected before we got together because of his numbers.  It has been rough but so far we are making it. The sex is almost non-existant.  We have probally had sex 4 times in those 8 months. We cuddle, hug and kiss but that's about all. He is so afraid of giving it to me. I have suggested counseling but he refuses. He doesn't like to talk about it and if I keep trying to talk he gets mad, so I don't push it.

I never once thought about leaving him because of this. When we were waiting on our test results I told him no matter what we were in this together and I meant it. I will always be here with him no matter what.

Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline ACinKC

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  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Poz/Neg Relationships
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2007, 03:21:47 PM »
Good luck T.  He is a guy and will sooner or later have to give in to that libido we all have!  You will make it and your a SAINT!

Oh and if he ever wants to talk to another guy about what its like to go through that and have a loving and intimate relationship without that fear hanging over your head have him hit me up.  Id be happy to talk to him privately so he doesnt have to post it to the world.  You guys are in Witchita right?

How old is he?
« Last Edit: January 17, 2007, 03:23:41 PM by ACinKC »
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A

Offline Eldon

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  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Poz/Neg Relationships
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2007, 08:10:27 PM »

Hi Seven, my name is Eldon and I am also HIV positive. You are not alone with this unfortunate circumstance that has taken place in your life. Communication is key.

Here you will find acceptance, understanding, communication, support, some cries, some laughter and much more. This site is infused with a lot of good information in order to HELP you with any questions that you may have on HIV/AIDS.

From my personal experience here, this is a great group of individuals who will listen as we as answer back to you. I have learned so much more by being here with my interaction with the others.

A few suggestions to HELP you on your Journey:

1. A Positive Mental Attitude
2. A Good Exercise Routine
3. A Good Balanced Diet
4. A Good Strong Support System

Feel free to browse through the many variations of topics here and also share with what is on your mind.

Welcome to our community.

As with a Poz/Neg relationship, there is a lot of hidden fear that is not seen by either one of you. Honest and open communication is highly stressed with this situation.


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