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Author Topic: Im going Crazy!!!  (Read 3838 times)

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Offline newhope

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Im going Crazy!!!
« on: January 17, 2007, 04:50:40 AM »
OK here i go i am sad. i am sick of everyone saying this is such a managable thing now. I do not know about anyone else but the side effects are pretty bad for me, I honestly cant work. My life is gone as i knew it hard time seeing a light encouragement please.  8 months +

Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #1 on: January 17, 2007, 05:37:19 AM »
Sorry you are feeling down.

Yes, life will change for you now, and that's life - a series of changes and choices. If it's the side effects of your meds you're finding intolerable, you might want to consider changing those. No need to suffer needlessly.




Offline IzPoz

  • Member
  • Posts: 332
  • God, grant me the serenity...
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2007, 07:00:07 AM »
First, what meds are you taking, and how long have you been taking them?

Unfortunately, you have to give about a month for your body to start adjusting to them.  For many medications, it will take a couple of weeks, then you will see the side effects to taper off.  When I first started this regime that I'm taking, I told my doctor he could take a leap if I was going to continue feeling like that (Kaletra - before they reformulated: nausea, bloated, diarreah, extreme gas).  He gave me something to alleviate the nausea, and after about a month, I was able to stop the nausea medication, and the other side effects faded away.

Don't give up too quickly.  If the side effects are worse than what you want to deal with it, ask for something that will help alleviate them, at least until your body gets used to the meds.  And if that doesn't help, talk to your doc again and ask for a different combination.
The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly. ~ Chesterton G. K.

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,498
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #3 on: January 17, 2007, 07:36:59 AM »
Hello Newhope,

Welcome to the forums. I am sorry that you are currently going through a difficult time. If you can give us a little more information, you may be able to get some advice or suggestions.

What meds are you currently on ? Have you had any resistance test done ? What is your current t-cell and viral load results ?

Get back in touch with us.

Take care of yourself------Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 25 mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg






Diagnosed positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of 9/16/16,  t-cells are at 501,   Viral load remains <40

Current % is at 12%

 65 years young.

Offline ACinKC

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  • Posts: 2,994
  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #4 on: January 17, 2007, 12:42:51 PM »
New hope... we need more.  Tell us about you.  How did your life bring you to us?
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A

Offline Christine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #5 on: January 17, 2007, 01:09:50 PM »
Hi newhope!
Welcome to the forums!

I am sorry you are having a rough time right now. I understand how you feel when you express frustration of hearing how "manageable" hiv can be. For some people, it is very manageable. They tolerate the meds, cope with the stress, and are healthy (other than the hiv).

For some, myself included, it is a harder road. Side effects, illnesses...not always the best at coping.

Most of the meds have taken about a month for me to adjust to. As Lis said, there are nausea meds to help, there are anti-anxiety meds, meds for diarrhea to help get you through the adjustment period.

Also, when I am having side effects of meds, the side effects don't gradually subside. They just stop. Side effect...side effect...then completely gone.

It does get better. Really. Life doesn't go back to the pre-hiv days, but life continues on.

Do you have an ASO (aids service organization) in your area? I found talking to a therapist has helped me greatly.

Also, have you talked to your doctor about the side effects? They can help.

Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline newhope

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #6 on: January 17, 2007, 03:56:38 PM »
Thanks for all the nice replies. I am 32 last April i left my partner f 10 yrs. 2 months later tested for hiv. i called him and he was cold and hateful didn't care haven't spoke to him since. i also have bipolar which has been really bad lately. after leaving hm i moved in with my parents. Since my life was all about him for 10 yrs i was a kid full of dreams and hopes. now i am living with my parents I'm old and have done nothing with my life but trust and love the wrong person, in vain.

my parents are very toxic the reason i have bipolar and I'm stuck here i just found out my ssi was denied. i have terrible doctors in this county little support. my mom actually thinks i got hiv because I'm gay and i sinned these words came out of her mouth. and now i am screwed even more now that ssi was denied.  i was hoping for that money so i could get my own place and out of this toxic hell.

sorry to go on but i have nobody to tell this to. i don't want to feel sorry for myself but I'm at a loss.  what is wrong with this world.  i am taking truvada norvir and reyataz.  along with seroquil for the bi polar.

i have been taking them for about 4 months and still have the same side effects yellowing i look like a Simpson heartburn diarrhea naesea sweating all the time memory loss. Ive lost 40 Pd's ina yr.

so there is the past year. sorry to be such a downer everybody ,  been hard and it seems to be getting harder i was hoping to get my own place when the ssi was approved. now I'm stuck in toxicville for god knows how long. oh my parents are baptist.

Offline marco23

  • Member
  • Posts: 392
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2007, 04:16:32 PM »
Hi newhope!!
Welcome...I'm on Combivir and Reyataz, have had no problems at all.
You might want to check w/ your Doctor to adjust your meds...different people react to different meds, some have side effects - some don't, maybe your body can't adjust to the meds you're on...talk to your Doc., make some adjustments, there's some good combination of meds out there for you...unfortunately, you have to go through shit before you find them...but you'll find em'..
Hang in there babe.. ;)
Keep us posted...
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline newhope

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2007, 04:25:12 PM »
I have asked my doctor to change my meds i have had 2 doctors and all they want to do is wait. I just want my life back. my last labs were 28900 vl and 450 cd4.

Offline koi1

  • Member
  • Posts: 713
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2007, 06:52:15 PM »
Hey Guy,

It seems that a lot of your problems are due to the harsh environment you are forced to live in. Being down about this may be keeping your HIV condition from improving.

You are not old. I too spent a good 12 years in a relationship. At times I thougt that I gave the best years of my life to it. However I have found that my life is just beginning, AIDS and all.

I kow you may not want to hear this, but my symptoms improved when I went back to work, and I had just started meds. Being at home in such a toxic environment is worse than finding some work you can tolerate.

If you are seriously ill, you may want to go to your ASO to find legal services, and perhaps get your SSI reconsidered. I wish I could give you better advise.


diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #10 on: January 17, 2007, 07:17:39 PM »
Sorry to bug you for more information, but it might help us on the forums to help you even more.

1. What were your counts before you started meds? If, after 4 months on treatment, VL is still around 30,000, that might mean that is combo is not effective for you. The goal of any treatment regimen is maximum viral suppression, down to undetectable levels ideally. And 30K is certainly not undetectable.

2. Have you had resistance testing done, to see if you're resistant to any particular meds, or classes of meds?

3. Is Seroquel all you are taking for taking for bipolar illness? At what dose? There are other medications out there to treat bipolar illness, and just wondering whether you and your doctors have considered those. How frequently do you "cycle" moods? Would you say you're in a depressive spell right now?

4. Concerned about your weight loss. Obviously, much of this is attributable to stress, feeling blue, side effects. But this much weight loss, without voluntary dieting, is not good for your body and could be considered wasting. Have you thought about adding exercise (weight) to your daily routine, as well as extra protein (or even a protein shake)? I know it sounds trite, but exercise is a wonderful anti-depressant, and might help you regain energy and weight.

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Please do keep us posted.

Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #11 on: January 17, 2007, 07:21:27 PM »
Hi Newhope,

In this life we all have our ups and downs. It is unfortunate that you are experiencing side effects with your situation. I encourage you to do what you can in order to cope with your day-to-day life.

Best Wishes!

Offline poet

  • Member
  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: Im going Crazy!!!
« Reply #12 on: January 17, 2007, 07:55:32 PM »
Hi Hope.  Welcome to the forums!  I think that Jay has hit the important points given what you have told us to date.  I, too, wonder where you are in your mood cycle and whether your bipolar meds are monitored enough to keep up with the stress of all the things currently going on, from being stuck back at home to days without being able to leave for work, whatever that might be for you, still out of your parents' words.  Keep us up to date.  Best, Win
Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.


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