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Worst Birthday Ever.

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I think of the date I found out as my new birthday. I was never much for celebrating my legitimate one, but I think that fateful day this past 11/20 will be a time to rejoice, as I hopefully will be in a much better state of physical and emotional health a year from now.

You have the advantage of knowing your status which will allow you to take care of yourself, as all the data points to the abuse of the body as a sure progression to AIDS. You will also not potentially infect others unkowingly. I feel very badly that I may have infected someone, though I don't know for sure.

I am getting over my shock and each day I am more hopeful. It took a month and three weeks to get on meds as when I found out my t cells were at 97 and I had the beginning of PCP.

Since you appear to know that your infection was recent, you will probably be healthy for a long time before you will start taking meds. That's also a good thing. We become very good at looking on the bright side when we are
afflicted with this condition. I hope this skill will soon be part of your repretoire, once the shock, denial, disbelief, and self hating wears off.

Welcome to this place of support hope and venting. Good Luck


Thanks everyone for your support.  Your posts are comforting to read.

Last night my friends took me out for my birthday and I had a great time. Tonight I have a fabric/trapeze lesson which makes me feel good.  I just hope I can keep my strength up for it.

My next doctor's visit is in 2 weeks.  I do not currently have a CD4 count because the lab only ran the test for a viral load count.  When I see the doctor on the next visit, he'll draw blood for that and other things I suppose.


I am sorry about your diagnosis, but I am happy you had a great birthday with your friends!!  Happy belated!!

This is a difficult time, please take care and lean on us here!  There are many fellow travelors!  Take it one day at a time and keep doin' what you love!!!  Keep livin'!!!  There is a lot of beauty and hope in this great life...

Luv and support,

Crazy about the birthday thing. I had gone to a bath house where they were giving the HIV test and since I had tested Neg 6 months prior I took another one. Suprise this one was poz. I had to wait 3 weeks to get my final back and it was poz too. This happened shortly after my 39th birthday in November. So far all is well. Am waiting to see the infection doctor after a complete std workup. I too have been looking at life differently in that I am going to do some of the things that I have always wanted to do like skydiving. REMEMBER this is NOT a death sentence. Average life with HIV is 24 years. I have a friend that has been poz for 22 years and is golden as far as health goes. A positive outlook is the key. I work in a hospital for mental illness and I am here to tell you that the mind has extreme powers dude. You can make yourself sick with worry. I have surrounded myself with friends that are HIV+ and they have been my life jacket through this fucking desease that has invaded me but I am not going to let it win. I am going to find that special guy that wants me for me and move on. All I can do is take it as it comes. Look at all of the soldiers that are dieing at such young ages (19,20) and be glad that you are still here and can fight this thing. Get mad at it, it seems to help me sometimes. Love God and put it on his shoulders. Tell him you cannot do it alone and he will help. If you have never read FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND read it. It helps me when I find myself getting down. 

FiercenBed: glad to hear someone else say the thing about looking at CNN and these 'kids' dying at 19...20...21  and so forth in battle and saying to myself.... 'c it could b worse' i felt guilty about it.


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