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What gives!

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The last few day's I have been sitting here in my home and my folk's packed up and went on their family vacation and I stayed home. What a joke that was for me. Was taking my meds last night got to looking and I was out of my ativan. Oh this is great my mom left me with $20 and what the hell did I do go and spend it on booze. Like I really need to be drinking at the present but living alone and in this area you would do the same.

Yesterday I had to be the one to get rid of my seven puppies to the county pound. Didn't really have a choice hated to do that but I can barely survive on what I make at the present. As far as paying my own bills now and the little amount I have to make it on each month, I receive a bill from a hospital for over $2,000.00. What is the deal with some of these hospitals I went to sign up on finacinal aid and was turned down. So I now have them bugging the shit out of me. Seem's like when you get ahead something always pops up and another bill comes in.

I hate to log on here and let you know about my problems but where else am I too turn too. I hate my life right now I'm alone have no friend's, can't save money or hold on too it. I have a fetish of going and spending money just one of the bipolar sickness I have. I guess I try to hard to make people like me. I just can't take living this way anymore.


You are not alone.
I feel blue today and sort of depressed.
Maybe I have more funds, but we all have our demons, don't we.

Montreal will give you power Jerry. Just you wait for the hugs and the energy.

Thinking of you and yes, I LIKE YOU.


Hermie :-*

Dear Jerry, I have no easy answer, hope you will be out of this phase soon. Montreal is not really far off, as Hermie says its gonna be a good experience. Im glad to know you will be attending so its something for you to look forward to.

Hugs to you,


Jerry, it must be difficult and painful for you; hiv, bipolar and no money.
I'm glad you reach out to here because you can vent and someone, more likely many will understand
and still love you unconditionnally.  :-* JoeM.

1.  Why is your mom leaving you money?  Whether it's $20 or $200, isn't it really YOUR money?  Have you made any progress towards stopping your checks from going directly to your parents?  You mentioned setting up a bank account once, did you do it?  If so, have you contacted the government (SSA) in order to have YOUR check deposited into YOUR bank account?

2.  You should consider getting your dog(s) fixed, if you haven't already done so, (perhaps the local pound will assist in paying for it).  

3.  Do you have any type of health care insurance?  If you aren't, what's the plan for getting health insurance (i.e., are you waiting for medicaid to kick in)?  I remember you mentioning something about your mom taking care of your health care through the department she works in.  Can she (or her department) assist in paying that hospital bill for you?

While it may seem like things pop up, in reality they usually don't.  If you don't have health insurance (public or private) and you receive services from a hospital (that has turned you down for financial aid), then you should expect to receive a bill, (and probably an inflated one).  You should try and work with the hospital to determine alternative arrangements (unless you have some sort of health coverage that can pay part or all of the bill).  Don't just ignore the problem.  Fact is, you don't need to have that bill ruining your credit, as you may need decent credit once you start to venture back out on your own (i.e., to rent a place, get a credit card, take out a mortgage, etc..).


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