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Author Topic: What gives!  (Read 3945 times)

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jerry

  • Guest
What gives!
« on: June 13, 2006, 05:48:31 AM »
The last few day's I have been sitting here in my home and my folk's packed up and went on their family vacation and I stayed home. What a joke that was for me. Was taking my meds last night got to looking and I was out of my ativan. Oh this is great my mom left me with $20 and what the hell did I do go and spend it on booze. Like I really need to be drinking at the present but living alone and in this area you would do the same.

Yesterday I had to be the one to get rid of my seven puppies to the county pound. Didn't really have a choice hated to do that but I can barely survive on what I make at the present. As far as paying my own bills now and the little amount I have to make it on each month, I receive a bill from a hospital for over $2,000.00. What is the deal with some of these hospitals I went to sign up on finacinal aid and was turned down. So I now have them bugging the shit out of me. Seem's like when you get ahead something always pops up and another bill comes in.

I hate to log on here and let you know about my problems but where else am I too turn too. I hate my life right now I'm alone have no friend's, can't save money or hold on too it. I have a fetish of going and spending money just one of the bipolar sickness I have. I guess I try to hard to make people like me. I just can't take living this way anymore.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2006, 09:01:28 AM by jerry »

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,101
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2006, 06:11:40 AM »
Jerry,

You are not alone.
I feel blue today and sort of depressed.
Maybe I have more funds, but we all have our demons, don't we.

Montreal will give you power Jerry. Just you wait for the hugs and the energy.

Thinking of you and yes, I LIKE YOU.


love

Hermie :-*
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline Markmt

  • Member
  • Posts: 174
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2006, 06:50:55 AM »
Dear Jerry, I have no easy answer, hope you will be out of this phase soon. Montreal is not really far off, as Hermie says its gonna be a good experience. Im glad to know you will be attending so its something for you to look forward to.

Hugs to you,

mark

"Live to love and love to live."

Leo Buscaglia

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,035
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2006, 06:52:31 AM »
Jerry, it must be difficult and painful for you; hiv, bipolar and no money.
I'm glad you reach out to here because you can vent and someone, more likely many will understand
and still love you unconditionnally.  :-* JoeM.

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2006, 07:00:47 AM »
1.  Why is your mom leaving you money?  Whether it's $20 or $200, isn't it really YOUR money?  Have you made any progress towards stopping your checks from going directly to your parents?  You mentioned setting up a bank account once, did you do it?  If so, have you contacted the government (SSA) in order to have YOUR check deposited into YOUR bank account?

2.  You should consider getting your dog(s) fixed, if you haven't already done so, (perhaps the local pound will assist in paying for it).  

3.  Do you have any type of health care insurance?  If you aren't, what's the plan for getting health insurance (i.e., are you waiting for medicaid to kick in)?  I remember you mentioning something about your mom taking care of your health care through the department she works in.  Can she (or her department) assist in paying that hospital bill for you?

While it may seem like things pop up, in reality they usually don't.  If you don't have health insurance (public or private) and you receive services from a hospital (that has turned you down for financial aid), then you should expect to receive a bill, (and probably an inflated one).  You should try and work with the hospital to determine alternative arrangements (unless you have some sort of health coverage that can pay part or all of the bill).  Don't just ignore the problem.  Fact is, you don't need to have that bill ruining your credit, as you may need decent credit once you start to venture back out on your own (i.e., to rent a place, get a credit card, take out a mortgage, etc..).

Offline Christine

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  • Posts: 1,069
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2006, 10:17:47 AM »
Jerry,
Hang in there. Changes are hard to make, but the important thing is that you set a goal and keep working towards it. Even when you run into walls. Figure out how to go around them, and keep going.

I also have outstanding hospital bills, even with insurance. It was a hard year for me, and our bills have been pretty high. Call the hospital and set up a payment plan based on your income.
Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline Oscar

  • Member
  • Posts: 244
  • 20 Years POZ
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2006, 10:45:32 AM »
Jerry,
Call the hospital billing deptartment and see if you can make a payment plan with them based on you income  like Christine suggested . If you can't manage that tell the hospital you can send the X dollars a month until the account is paid in full. Put this in wiritng. I suggest typing a letter explaining what amount you can pay monthly & keep the original in a file.

Then if the hospital agrees to the terms you have stated in your letter Keep up your end of the argreement, pay the amount they agreed on on the date that was agreed on.

I have done this before. Heck I'm still doing it. I'm still paying a hospital bills from 2003 when I got so sick. 50.00 a month. I haven't missed a payment yet & I hope to have it. paid sometime this year.

They will work with you.

Dan

Offline CalvinC

  • Member
  • Posts: 143
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2006, 03:07:38 PM »

Dear Jerry

I hope you are focussing on what you need to do just for today; tomorrow can wait.

I don't know anything about insurance etc; I am blessed to be living in Canada where the words "hospital bills" do not resonate. I have no solutions there, but Dan's thoughts sound good.

What moves me is that you say you have no friends. Not so. We here are, unconditionally your friends. But I know too you are thinking about flesh and blood people, where you live. I can but only offer this: my friend Roy, who died in 1987, once said to me when I came to him in much pain about a lost boyfriend, "Be bigger than the situation." I couldn't figure it out, at first. Then I knew. He meant that I might find some grace in acting as if I did have a handle on what was going on.

What I did was to get outside myself: I joined some groups (which ususally costs nothing), volunteered some time (costs nothing), joined a political party. While nothing worked right away, it did over the long term. I realized I was wanted for whatever skills I had--and you too have skills, I am sure. I met like-minded people. I occupied my time.

Did it quell the loneliness? Yes, unreservedly and undoubtedly. No, I didn't bond with everyone I met, but I did with some. And I know you can too.

I know it is hard, Jerry, to pick yourself up when things are down. Life is often not fair nor kind. But you have the soul to tell us, to reach out to us here. Please please consider placing a call to a volunteer agency. They are sure to value you as we all do.

cal

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2006, 07:29:40 PM »
.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2007, 09:41:15 PM by Iggy »

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,235
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2006, 07:47:58 PM »
I think all of the responses have good advice.

I work in a large hospital, in a department that codes accounts for billing, and believe me we write off millions each year for various reasons.  Here's how you get proactive:  Each time they call you, call the finacial office and tell them you're being harrassed, and tell them your story.  Tell it again and again.  After a while, everyone in the office will know who you are and they'll start taking action to stop your calls to them.  The squeaky wheel gets written off, I've heard many people say in my office.

And I'm sorry about you having to take the puppies to the pound, but you did the best thing you are able to do.  Being puppies, they are very likely to get good homes.

(((((((((HUG for JERRY)))))))))))

You go, Papi!

Basquo

Online Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,195
  • 30 Years Poz
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #10 on: June 13, 2006, 08:26:32 PM »
Hey Jerry,

I'm very sorry to hear of your troubles, but I do have one suggestion to deal with the hospital.  First, I would ask them to simply write off your debt, especially if they are a tax-funded hospital.  You won't know unless you ask, but if that doesn't work, then move to plan B.  If they insist on bugging you about paying, every time they call, tell them you have AIDS and WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE YOU DO? Keep repeating until they come up with a plan that is reasonable.  This is one of those times when you make AIDS work in your favor.

And everyone can just save it, if you were even thinking of chastising me for exploiting AIDS, because with  all the shit we have to shovel, I'll take an edge anywhere I can find one.
Life is what happens, when you are busy making other plans.

Though you may be only one person in the entire world, to one person, you may be the entire world.

I wish to become half the man, that my dog thinks I am.

Remember me with simple acts of kindness and I will live forever.

Offline Biggums

  • Member
  • Posts: 199
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2006, 10:01:57 PM »
Jerry,

My heart goes out ot you.  I like everyone else's advice and can't really offer anything new.  Just wanted to say you are cared for and to hang in there my friend.
44 year old gay man .......just broke up with the only man I've ever really loved.

You can love completely without complete understanding.

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,578
  • 'class' of '87
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2006, 10:04:47 PM »
Joe, if they chastise you, they'll have to chastise me too, because I have exactly the same opinion.   I say use it however you need to.   When you've gone through as many years of AIDS as we have, you do whatever you need to in order to survive.

Jerry, contact the hospital, preferably by writing them a letter.   Clearly state that you have AIDS, are disabled, are on Social Security which they cannot attach or garnish in any way, and that they need to write this off as part of their bad debt allowance.   $2,000 is peanuts to them.  (but it's 4 months of rent to me!)

Just my 2 cents worth.   Hang in there, my friend.

Alan
« Last Edit: June 13, 2006, 10:45:46 PM by AlanBama »
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

jerry

  • Guest
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #13 on: June 13, 2006, 10:56:00 PM »
It's funny about the Hospital debt. I went to the University of Virginia and they accepted my finacial aid. But this hospital is a local hospital and they think I have no other bills to pay besides them. After I pay electric, phone, cable, rent and gas bill and don't forget the food bill each month I am lucky if I have any spare money left. Not to forget the cigarettes. Oh well I use to work in a hotel and we would write off alot of unpaid rooms.

Hey Life goes on. Screw them. I have to much on my mind to let them get me down.

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #14 on: June 13, 2006, 11:27:56 PM »
<< Oh well I use to work in a hotel and we would write off alot of unpaid rooms.>>

Jerry, if this means you intend to ignore the bill, then I am concerned that you will never, ever, ever get a place of your own.I honestly thought that was what you wanted.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #15 on: June 14, 2006, 12:26:40 AM »
Jerry,
As you know we all have problems. It can be over whelming at times. But I believe all problems have a solution. If you panic and get angry it tends to make everything worse. If I may suggest, make a list of your problems and prioritize them. When things go bad for me... like you are talking about (let's be honest...we have ALL been there) I found it helpful to make a "Top Ten List, with the worst problem first. Once you have the list you can start to tackle each problem, one by one. Have you noticed if you don't deal with your problems, no one does it for you? So take charge buddy. Your life can improve. It just takes work, and strength. Thanks for sharing your frustrations.
Kick Ass man, YOU CAN DO IT!
Lots of Love,
Jeff
Positive since 1985

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #16 on: June 14, 2006, 02:53:38 AM »
It's funny about the Hospital debt. I went to the University of Virginia and they accepted my financial aid.
Two separate hospitals, with two separate administrative processes and completely different budgets for paying for indigent care.  The University of Virginia hospital is likely to be much better funded than your local hospital, so yes it seems very reasonable that they would approve you for financial aid, but not your local hospital, which probably has very limited resources.
Quote
After I pay electric, phone, cable, rent and gas bill and don't forget the food bill each month I am lucky if I have any spare money left. Not to forget the cigarettes.
...don't forget beer.
Quote
Oh well I use to work in a hotel and we would write off a lot of unpaid rooms.
Most hotels I know get a credit card imprint and will take money off your credit card, (for the entire length of your stay), the minute you check-in (which all but prevents someone from running off without paying their bill).
Quote
Hey Life goes on. Screw them. I have to much on my mind to let them get me down.
No, actually life doesn't go on.  That bill ain't going anywhere, anytime soon.  And screwing that hospital may not be in your best interest.

That hospital performed some sort of service for you and they need to get paid (by you or someone else).  They have salaries to pay, equipment to pay-off and other bills just like you do.  Plus what do you think they are going to do the next time you stop by for something, (granted if it's emergency/urgent care, they are required by law to treat you)?  And they may report a non-payment of the bill to the credit reporting agency, (probably not a big deal as long as you don't have a credit card or a checking account...but it will make getting either of those more difficult).

There's nothing wrong with being completely honest about your financial/health situation, in terms of your ability to pay that invoice.  But to just blow them off like this, isn't in your best interest. 

Do you honestly have it that financially? You speak of paying rent, but you live on your folk's property.  Are you really paying rent to them?  If so, then I don't understand why can't you just move.  I always thought the issue was that you were dependent on them financially (i.e., having no rent to pay).  But if you are paying rent to them, you should be able to just as easily pay rent to someone else.

I also saw your other note in the AMG thread about you not having a checking account/credit card to pay for your t-shirt.  I could have sworn you previously told us that you were heading straight to the bank to open up a checking account.  No big deal if you didn't, but I really don't see how you plan on changing anything in your life, if you have no desire to actually do anything about it.

Basically , I'm with Jonathan.  There doesn't appear to be any serious intent on moving off your parent's property.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2006, 03:44:19 AM by Cliff »

jerry

  • Guest
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #17 on: June 14, 2006, 09:37:02 AM »
Ok here it is again. I live on my own now. I have a roof over my head and I am dealing with my own money in a savings account. I am trying to get my stuff together and pay my bills on my own. My mom from time to time helps me out. I get my own check in the mail and deposit it into a savings account. As far as my credit goes there is none I filled bankruptcy back in 2003. I do my share of work around the home place. I do pay my family rent now also I pay for my electric, water, cable, phone bills on my own. Im just trying to get my stuff in order again.  Please understand any money I owe to anyone will be paid in full.

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #18 on: June 14, 2006, 10:08:36 AM »
If you're paying rent, water, electricity, cable and phone, then I would say you are well on your way to getting your stuff in order.  The issue isn't about you paying the bill, just so the hospital can get its money.  It's about you not hurting your credit, by ignoring the bill, and making it more difficult for you to find a place on your own. 

Cliff

BTW- I believe Paypal works with a savings account (if you feel comfortable enough with transferring your money to AMG that way for your shirt).

Offline kcmetroman

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #19 on: June 14, 2006, 10:46:33 AM »
BINGO

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: I can't take it anymore!
« Reply #20 on: June 14, 2006, 11:03:24 AM »
If you decleared bankruptcy in 2003, you are ALREADY eligible for some credit. Seven years is not necessarily the length of time it takes to START recovering from that sort of event. Getting a small (200 bucks) SECURED credit card is your first step. Thats when you put in 200 bucks, and in retun, can use this "credit card" to pay for stuff. Each month you use it, your credit improves.

However, if you are well and truly done with the notion of rebuilding credit, then I have linked to some sites might be able to help you send letters stating your status as "collection proof" or "judgment proof." If you have no real assets worth over 6000 dollars in total, then you might be. Judgment proof status does not allow anyone to garnish SSI/SSDI or other assistance. Your wages CAN be garnished.

Sending this letter costs nothing (except that the sites I link to recommend that you send this via certified mail).

here are the links:

http://www.peoples-law.org/consumer/bankruptcy/judgment%20proof.htm[url]]]http://www.peoples-law.org/consumer/bankruptcy/judgment%20proof.htm[url]

http://www.debt-n-credit-letters.com/Debt-Dispute/judgment-proof-letter.html[/url]

http://www.fair-debt-collection.com/searches/judgment-proof-disability.html

http://hcs.harvard.edu/~scas/JudgmentProof.htm


Realize that doing this will set your bankruptcy clock back to zero, and even a secured credit card (not to mention checking accounts, rental agreements, car loans, et al) will be next to impossible to get. But it's an option for those of us who are not getting significantly better any time soon, and who are swamped with bills we cannot pay, and for those whom a credit rating is the least of our concerns. In my opinion, that's not you. But I thought I wouold put it out there.

Thing is, if you dont do SOMETHING, you will find yourself in worse shape than you can imagine, and for longer than even another bankruptcy would remain on your record. Again, I assumed that your goal was to get out from under your parents doorstep, away from the stress they obviously cause you and the lack of privacy and dignity to which they have subjected you.

We all agree that you deserve to be happy. Trick is, what are you willing to do to pursue that goal? How far are you willing to go? And... maybe the most important question... do YOU really... seriously, really - want things to change? Or has fear and apathy planted you where you are, for life? If it has, there are coping skills and means by which you can make the best of a wretched situation. But I have been assuming that you want more for yourself.

Please do not be an invalid before you are an invalid. Please choose to live.

« Last Edit: June 14, 2006, 11:04:55 AM by jkinatl2 »
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

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