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Author Topic: Need some advice  (Read 2416 times)

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Offline someone somewhere

  • Member
  • Posts: 19
Need some advice
« on: June 13, 2006, 01:08:09 AM »
I have meet a young woman who  is newly postive.For some reason this young woman has seen me as her mentor and l am ok with that.But as someone only three years into this myself sometimes the answers don't come.

Apart from being there for her letting her know it will be ok l am not sure what more l can do.

So all of you living with HIV longer than me and her what l can do to help her?

I really don't want to mess this up.

Offline DingoBoi

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  • Bailey's Infected Cream™ Served since 2004
Re: Need some advice
« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2006, 01:57:43 AM »
sorry if this doesn't seem pertinent, but it is.

Are you straight or gay or confused?  Do you want a relationship with this person? 


Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Need some advice
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2006, 06:45:51 AM »
someone,

The best thing you can do for her is what you are already doing. Just be there for her. If she has internet access, you can encourage her to join us here and also see to it that she knows about all the other features of this website. (Which are detailed in the welcome thread at the top of this forum.)

If she doesn't have internet access, you might like to print off some of the Lessons for her. Most of them have a printable version - look at the bottom of the subject list column on the right hand side of the page. You must be in an individual lesson to see this link. Some of the lessons I'd recommend are the ones on lab results, when to start treatment, disclosure, women's issues... and ask her if there are specific things she'd like to know.

You might also be able to help her by making sure she is seeing a doctor she is happy with and making sure she is aware of any Aids Service Organisations in your area.

But really, the most important thing is just being there for her and letting her know she's not alone. Isolation is one of our biggest problems and probably hurts the most.

And by the way, welcome to the forums! I've read your intro in the Introduce yourself thread and I'm looking forward to getting to know you better.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Need some advice
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2006, 06:49:42 AM »
Bailey,

Um, yes, your question is not pertinent to this thread. Not everything comes down to sexual relationships! :o

someone somewhere introduced herself already and as a fellow cat tormentor, you should show her more respect! :D

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,042
Re: Need some advice
« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2006, 07:00:38 AM »
Wise advise, giiving your time to someone is one of the most precious gifts there are,
even when nothing much is said. I think you wont "screw up" you seem v. considerate. :)

Offline DingoBoi

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  • Posts: 1,355
  • Bailey's Infected Cream™ Served since 2004
Re: Need some advice
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2006, 10:47:11 AM »
very true ann.  Upon re-reading, I should have taken the questions as the obvious ones, and not the 'unasked' ones I was reading into it.


Offline someone somewhere

  • Member
  • Posts: 19
Re: Need some advice
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2006, 11:00:39 AM »
I am not looking for a relationship with her just friendship.She is very young like l said.We met in the doctor's office.

I plan on taking her to the woman's coffee night we have here for pozzies.

Thanks Ann for your kind words. All ready printed off stuff.

Oh and l am straight.

Only confused without my coffee.

Offline Dachshund

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,993
Re: Need some advice
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2006, 11:23:37 AM »
First a big warm welcome. Three or thirty just reading your post makes me think you will do the right thing. You sound like the kind of person that if you don't know...you will ask. Sounds like she was lucky to find you.

Peace,
Hal :D

Offline Christine

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  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Need some advice
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2006, 05:36:13 PM »
Being there for her, and letting her know it will be okay is perfect. She is lucky to have found a friend who can help.
Christine
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline Joe K

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  • Member
  • Posts: 3,846
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: Need some advice
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2006, 05:44:19 PM »
Hey Somewhere,

Welcome to the forums and I can't add much to the excellent advice you have already been given.  All I can suggest is that you can really answer this question, because you know what you needed at first, so just return the favor.  Throughout the years, the one thing that ALWAYS matters, is for someone to know that they have someone whom they can lean on or bend their ear.

No matter what may happen, treat her as you would want to be treated and answer her questions truthfully and "I don't know the answer" is always better than fudging something.  Just be yourself, like you are here and I expect she will guide you in deciding what kind of support will help her best.

 


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