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Author Topic: Oral sex and Herpes  (Read 6665 times)

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Offline AnxiousLad

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  • Posts: 15
Oral sex and Herpes
« on: August 02, 2008, 12:34:15 AM »
Hi Everyone

I last visted this site and posted some four years ago over my concerns - as it happened I had accutally contracted Herpes so you were all correct concerning HIV.

Now my dilema is; on the 18 july 08, I performed oral on this woman and also my penis at point stayed at the entrance to her vigina while I rub her clitoris. I did not insert all the way in. Anyhow, I had a sore throat come the second day which lasted about a day or two.

I have read the many encouring words - but I do not know what having another STD will do?

On the 28th I started to exprience a sweet taste in my mouth that has gradually decreased to this day but still exists.. (this sweet taste is usually when I pick up a bug - virus - but normally lasts a day or two - I can only explain it as the virus peeking in my body) and wet nose..

Something that does not happen, happened on the 31st. Where my body started to develop Histamine (Itchy/Scatching, blobs, swelling, skin tingling and a slight redness to my skin) - This happen just the same way as the Herbes episode some 4yrs back. Oh and very soft Poo..

Will having herpes increase the likelyhood of easy entry into my body for the virus? etc...

AnxiousLad

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #1 on: August 02, 2008, 04:40:19 AM »
If you didn't have penetrative unprotected vaginal or anal sex you did not have a risk of contracting HIV.

Offline AnxiousLad

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #2 on: August 02, 2008, 05:00:09 AM »
Thanks for that, even if the tip of my penis was "say knocking on the door to go in".. and just to confirm - having herpes does not increase the chance of my bodies defenses being down inside my mouth?

( I must say - I did not have an out break - that is also why I did not penetrate the woman..)

Offline AnxiousLad

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #3 on: August 02, 2008, 05:03:47 AM »
Sorry forgot to mention I have also developed diaoohia "shits" (sorry can't spell that word) and nausious (and again)

Offline Ann

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #4 on: August 02, 2008, 08:56:25 AM »
Anxious,

What you call "knocking at the door" is called frottage by the rest of us. Frottage is not a risk for hiv infection.

As Rodney told you, if no actual penetration took place you were not at risk for hiv.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THIS SPECIFIC INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AnxiousLad

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  • Posts: 15
Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #5 on: August 03, 2008, 05:13:38 PM »
Many thanks for your words Ann, did not know it was called frottage - the rub of genitals together - though my tip was surrounded by her skin and varginal fluid for about 2-3mins...   I have remembered that I have done this exact same thing to another woman and never had this reaction afterwards...

I have breathed in and out many times.. yet my body insists on fighting something as my skin is sometimes hot to the touch especially my hands and I'm taking Anti-Histamine tables to stop swelling and blotches..

This is just an update for my own sake and sanity..

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #6 on: August 03, 2008, 05:36:16 PM »
It's still not going to change the assessment. You were not at risk of contracting HIV.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2008, 06:09:55 PM by RapidRod »

Offline AnxiousLad

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #7 on: August 03, 2008, 07:21:02 PM »
Thats ok RapidRod, but as reminded by various posts to keep thoughts and such like in same thread.
I forget things.. so I would like to keep updating this thread.

As I have been awakened because my throat is on fire at the mo.

Offline AnxiousLad

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #8 on: August 04, 2008, 12:25:09 AM »
Sorry just remembered that I had badly bitten my cheek on that night because I was eating a sandwich and gum...

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #9 on: August 04, 2008, 08:21:31 AM »
Anxious,

If the way your body feels is worrying you, go see a doctor. We can't diagnose you over the internet, but we can tell you that nothing you've reported is a risk for hiv infection.

Ann


Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AnxiousLad

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  • Posts: 15
Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #10 on: August 05, 2008, 05:47:02 PM »
Went to see my GP - What a waste of time complete no confidence in him.. So booked in at a GUM clinic - to get the basic tests done.. sadly way too early for a full test range - but keeping a smile and I'll let you all know.. :)   At the moment on Anti-Histamines to keep that down - atleast it feels like I got a sun tan..  ;)

Offline AnxiousLad

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #11 on: August 06, 2008, 03:42:22 PM »
Hi all, sorry to say it but the sides of my neck feel so painful, and thobbing, it comes and goes but when it comes it feels so stiff and about to explode..

Can other forms of STD cause that affect?

Offline AnxiousLad

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #12 on: August 11, 2008, 01:52:40 PM »
Hi all, well I still get a slight pain in the neck, sore throat - skin has died down so stopped taking the v.strong anti histamines but still prickles and strength coming back.
  - however the stress is mostly gone because I visited my local GUM on Thursday. Took the normal swabs of throat and penis - also took three lots of blood to check for Syp/Hep/Hiv. (I know early!!!) they wanted me to book in for a follow up in 9 weeks so I have. It really helps when you get support..   ;-)

I have read in the forum about seroconversion and when they believe they have and feel alot for everyone and the strength they process..   helps me smile .. :)

Offline AnxiousLad

  • Member
  • Posts: 15
Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2008, 02:07:39 PM »
Question to all,   help...

Because I have a typical increasing sore throat and runny nose..!!!

What I have been trying to track down is a squence of events or progression of infection. Such as initial infection, incremential expansion of the virus within the body, what the body does to first strike it, does it go to the lymph nodes and then multiplies, is that when the runny nasal starts and sore throat.
Because we center on symptoms without understanding what happens inside our body. Is there a general pattern..??? ???

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2008, 02:21:16 PM »
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2008, 03:21:19 PM »
Lad,

Symptoms or even the lack of symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection.

Whatever is causing your symptoms isn't hiv. You didn't have a risk.

Keep working with your doctor to find out what, if anything, is wrong with you. We cannot diagnose you here, but we CAN tell you that you did NOT do anything to put you at risk for hiv infection.

You're very close to being given a time out. You won't be given another warning.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AnxiousLad

  • Member
  • Posts: 15
Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #16 on: August 15, 2008, 12:24:31 PM »
Dear RapidRod and Ann,
I must thank you first for the feedback.

Sadly I must admit it is a bit of a habit from my job and nature to get to the root cause of many things - hence the inquisitive aspect of my approach - and it seriously does help me. I was hoping to help myself and other people in relating many things and I have being consulting as you say with the appropriate medical people - who truthfully have said there is a very small risk..  - their words not mine..! (before you ban me...)

Though I may have symptoms, those symptoms I've been told can be brought on by my mental state or in a run down situ and that cold/flu viruses stay within the body and never fully leave and can resurface..

So we basically live in a world of hope, facts, faith and the warmth of friends and family...
Thank you all for the advice..
ALad.

Offline AnxiousLad

  • Member
  • Posts: 15
Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #17 on: August 18, 2008, 10:28:05 AM »
Dear All
Well I have just got word from all of my results and all are Neg. The heath advisor has surprised me - because I question the HIV test because I have to go for the 2nd one (12wk) - but she said that seroconversion usually happens around 10/11days - Well that contradicts an awful lot of people..  Is there a new test?

But also setting that aside - people.. You will see from the thread that I am/have been worried - but the best thing to do it get checked out - knowing that little bit of information takes aot of pressure off the mind and body..

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #18 on: August 18, 2008, 11:19:38 AM »
Lad,

Your result isn't going to change no matter when or how many times you test over this incident. You didn't have a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AnxiousLad

  • Member
  • Posts: 15
Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #19 on: September 01, 2008, 05:18:08 AM »
Dear All
I'm sure it's been asked before, but putting aside emotion and personal feelings - I ask one question:

The reliability of the DUO tests that does the P24 and Antibody (around 5 wks) - Is it like a see-saw effect, in that it picks the P24 and then the antibody - Is there a window between that could be non-detection?

Scientific thinking please...

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #20 on: September 01, 2008, 06:08:31 AM »
Scientific thinking seems to be having no effect on an irrational mind.

You do not et HIV from performing oral sex on a female. It is why lesbians remain almost totally unaffected by the pandemic. If you cannot grasp this first, fundamental fact, then parsing the intricities of the DUO test is absolutely useless.

I am sorry no one here seems to have been able to educate you about the transmission vectors for HIV.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #21 on: September 01, 2008, 07:44:45 AM »
Anxious, your situation has moved beyond anything we can help you with. You've been told repeatedly that you weren't at risk. By all means go ahead and re-test at 12 weeks if you must for your peace of mind and collect the inevitable negative result.

Going into further details with you about the intricacies of testing modalities is really not addressing your issue. That issue is your unfounded anxiety about HIV infection. If you continue to have troubling symptoms then discuss them with your doctor. If you can't let go of your fears, see a counselor or other professional to discuss what's driving them.

This is NOT an HIV situation. Period. 
Andy Velez

Offline AnxiousLad

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  • Posts: 15
Did I place myself at risk with penetration?
« Reply #22 on: March 03, 2009, 11:08:28 PM »
Dear All

I just found out my (now ex) girlfriend had been sleeping with a guy from the USA/Gambia 28th Jan - 9th Feb. She had a puffed up/swelling look though these two weeks and currently been having headaches and briefly sore joints since then.

So on the 11th we had foreplay were I'm actually not sure I fully inserted but believed i kept my penis head submerged all the time. I noticed an awful lot of vaginal discharge on my foreskin afterwards. But a couple of other times we did the same but I remember I did penetrate for one or two but came back out but did the same with the head submerged. Shes a girl that creates a whole more vaginal fluids than normal.

By the Fri 13th I had developed a chesty cough (white phlegm) which still persists to this day.
Since around the 23rd (+-1.5/2wks after) I have skin rash, very sensitive ichy skin, painful joints, headaches and hurting neck nodes, I sweat without it being hot.

How quick can a virus spread to start causing symptoms within the system?
   (as I understand everyone reacts differently??)
Is the DUO test reliable at 28days as claimed?
Do my timeline suggest anything?
Would she been at her most contagious stage for transmission? (high risk..)

Does anyone have the answers?
« Last Edit: March 04, 2009, 03:31:58 AM by AnxiousLad »

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Did I place myself at risk with penetration?
« Reply #23 on: March 04, 2009, 04:09:53 AM »
Return to you original thread. Your questions will not be answered until you do so.  Read the posting guidelines that are located in the "Welcome" thread which you should have do before ever posting on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Did I place myself at risk with penetration?
« Reply #24 on: March 04, 2009, 08:06:57 AM »
Dear All

I just found out my (now ex) girlfriend had been sleeping with a guy from the USA/Gambia 28th Jan - 9th Feb. She had a puffed up/swelling look though these two weeks and currently been having headaches and briefly sore joints since then.

So on the 11th we had foreplay were I'm actually not sure I fully inserted but believed i kept my penis head submerged all the time. I noticed an awful lot of vaginal discharge on my foreskin afterwards. But a couple of other times we did the same but I remember I did penetrate for one or two but came back out but did the same with the head submerged. Shes a girl that creates a whole more vaginal fluids than normal.

By the Fri 13th I had developed a chesty cough (white phlegm) which still persists to this day.
Since around the 23rd (+-1.5/2wks after) I have skin rash, very sensitive ichy skin, painful joints, headaches and hurting neck nodes, I sweat without it being hot.

How quick can a virus spread to start causing symptoms within the system?
   (as I understand everyone reacts differently??)
Is the DUO test reliable at 28days as claimed?
Do my timeline suggest anything?
Would she been at her most contagious stage for transmission? (high risk..)

Does anyone have the answers?


I've merged your threads. Please follow our rule and keep all of your entries in this same thread. Thanks for your cooperation.

Lad, you still don't seem to have learned from everything that has been said to you in the previous round of exchanges. Most basically, the only confirmed means of sexual transmission of HIV is through unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse.

That means anytime you have intercourse, however brief and with whatever manipulations you manage of your foreskin, you need to be wearing a condom. No exceptions. So however brief those insertions were they do constitute a risk. And for a guy as given to anxiety over HIV as you are it's frankly not very smart to play around with risk in that manner.

So you need to get tested and the only finally reliable negative result is an HIV test at 13 weeks.

All this latest drama about your symptoms is totally irrelevant as is your physical evaluations of your ex-gf. Neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms is ever the way to know anything about HIV status. And there is certainly nothing HIV-specific about what you have mentioned. If troublesome symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

Given your past history of hyper-anxiety about HIV, you may want to test at 6 weeks. At that point all but the smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will have done so. A negative at 6 weeks is very, very unlikely to change at 13 weeks. Any tests done prior to that cannot be taken as a final result.

Considering what you have described I would consider your risk to have been low and I expect you to test negative. But you do need to learn from this experience. In the future, no matter whom you are with when you have intercourse, you need to be wearing a condom.

I'm also going to caution you now about not attempting to start another round of anxious entries with us here about the intricacies of this test or that one. No matter what scenarios your mind may come up with, your risk was low and you simply have to wait out some time in order to get properly tested.

The smartest thing you can do during that waiting period is to get productively busy with other matters in your life. You will be pleasantly surprised to see how it helps the time to pass. And yes, you can do that, so don't bother saying you're too worried to get busy, because I can tell you that won't fly here.

Ultimately I expect you to come out of this ok.
Andy Velez

Offline AnxiousLad

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #25 on: March 04, 2009, 05:37:42 PM »
Many thanks Andy for your words of advice.. as to the thread - some times it's quite hard to find old ones as all you think about is getting advice.
So I suppose if I do this the third time - more the fool for me..

Also I didn't know about this bloke until this week as I found out he's coming back to the UK... as to exposer - we both had Neg results late last year when we became serious - to make sure everything was okay - as she had never taken a recent test. So we based lined ourselves - being responsible you know and to rid any anxious moments.

So I did learn - but basically betrayed this time - otherwise it is condoms.

Many thanks to all.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral sex and Herpes
« Reply #26 on: March 04, 2009, 05:57:25 PM »
Life does seem to throw curves, don't it!!

Your plan for condoms in the future is right on target.

Hopefully you'll come out of this current concern ok, which is what I expect.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

 


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