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Author Topic: My Cat's New Year's Resolutions  (Read 1867 times)

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Offline Cherie

  • Member
  • Posts: 44
My Cat's New Year's Resolutions
« on: January 07, 2007, 09:51:42 PM »
Some of these are freakin hilarious!!!!

>My human will never let me eat her pet hamster, and I am at peace with
>I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my
>human has finished watching a horror movie.
>I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.
>I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff
>them down the sink's drain.
>I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them
>up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.
>I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt
>right for the box of clumping cat litter. (It took FOREVER to get the stuff
>out of my fur.)
>I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at
>NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.
>I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.
>I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare
>into her eyes until she wakes up.
>We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the
>Plains of the Serengeti over any humans' bed while they're trying to sleep.
>Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
>I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget
>this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my
>attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.
>I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase
>I will not intrude on my human's candle-lit bubble bath and singe my
>I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in
>it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to
>get the rubber cement out of my fur.
>If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
>When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
>necessary to check every door.
>Birds do not come from the bird feeder. I will not knock it down and try to
>open it up to get the birds out.
>The dog can see me coming when I stalk her. She can see me and will move
>out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls. That
>does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit
>there and laugh.
>I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring
>in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come
>When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to
>catch them.
>I will not swat my human's head repeatedly when she's on the family room
>floor trying to do sit ups.
>When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are *not* a hammock.
>Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
>I am a walking static generator. My human doesn't need my help installing a
>new board in her computer.

"Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail." Yes they do who wrote this lied!!!
"An adventure may be worn as a muddy spot or it may be worn as a proud insignia.It is the woman wearing it who  makes it one thing or the other."

Offline aupointillimite

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,229
Re: My Cat's New Year's Resolutions
« Reply #1 on: January 07, 2007, 09:58:34 PM »
Some of these are freakin hilarious!!!!

I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff

I thought it was only my cats.  Thank God someone else understands my pain... of seeing my cats go nuts over Q-tips. 

Used ones.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,670
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: My Cat's New Year's Resolutions
« Reply #2 on: January 07, 2007, 11:09:27 PM »
Fang loves Q tips.   She fishes in the garbage can and drags them out, and I find them under the living room furniture.......
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: My Cat's New Year's Resolutions
« Reply #3 on: January 07, 2007, 11:21:22 PM »
Lucifer loves Q-tips too and so does his sister Beta which is my best friend's cat. I wonder what's up with that. And the wild stampede, omg, and he's only one cat! I have to put him in the bathroom at night or my house would be destroyed.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline Jean-Yves

  • Member
  • Posts: 98
  • Meow!
    • Home for Sign of the Tiger
Re: My Cat's New Year's Resolutions
« Reply #4 on: January 07, 2007, 11:41:42 PM »
Have you ever given them the hairball medicin in a tube? It looks and smells like earwax.

Offline Nadine

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: My Cat's New Year's Resolutions
« Reply #5 on: January 09, 2007, 07:58:17 AM »
I too thought it was just my cat who loves Q tips, she throws them up in the air and can play with them for an hour...by then there's nothing left but the stick....

Offline Boo Radley

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,252
  • Not a "real man" and damn proud, mithter... FAB
    • Animal Rescue New Orleans
Re: My Cat's New Year's Resolutions
« Reply #6 on: January 09, 2007, 08:08:19 AM »
The other day I made the mistake of taking the Q-tips box out of the drawer and left them on the bathroom counter.  Yesterday morning I awoke to Q-tips scattered from my bedroom to the bathroom.  I'm still picking them up.  Many of them have only one Q left.

String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!

Everything I do, say, think, excrete, secrete, exude, ooze, or write 2007 Sweet Old Boo, Inc.


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