HIV Prevention and Testing > Am I Infected?



I did such a stupid thing about 4 weeks ago. I went to a massage parlor and recieved protected oral sex from the woman.  I'm fully aware that this is not a risk, but we also enganged in the following.  She fingered me in the anus rather vigorously for a while and i was not sure of the condition of her finger, I also performed oral sex on her for about a minute or two without a barrier.  I have read everything on the this website about behaviors and the risk associated with it as well various responses by many of you regarding that all of the activities i mentioned does not pose a risk and that there is not need for testing.  I'm having a hard time coming to grips with this, because this is the only forum that is so adamant about saying no risk.  Spoke to GMHC and the California aids hotlines and they say low risk.  My apoligies for drawing the comparison.

Also there seems to be alot of confusion out there regarding the correllation of STD and HIV.  It's clear if one has and STD (i.e. herpes or syphilis) this increases the risk of acquiring HIV as the soars associated with both represent an opening to one's blood stream.  However, i have read literature that suggests that if an STD is present and the person is HIV positive there is an increase in the amount of virus present in semen or vaginal secretions, because of the increase white blood cells present in those fluids. Thus making a low risk or no risk activity riskier.   When i have ask this question to others they seem not to be aware of this.

I'm so alone right now as I'm sitting here typing away waiting for my test results to come back this afternoon.
I can't believe i did this to my wife and kids!

Andy Velez:
OK, Francis. First of all, and no kidding, I want you to take two deep and slow breaths in and out. Right now.

There was absolutely nothing in what you are reporting which has put you at risk for HIV transmission. If you haven't already read our lesson on Transmission then you need to do that now. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

There's never been a documented case of transmission in the manner you're concerned about -- and yes, I have read all the details you have reported. You aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

As far as your conversations with other sources, believe me, if you continue to call and also to search the net you will find responses which will feed your fears. When you are told the risk is "low," that's another way of saying theoretically there could be a risk anytime sex is involved other than with your hand. But in the real life of the epidemic transmission just doesn't happen in this manner.

What we're really talking about here is that you're a dog like the rest of us and you went straying. Now that awful guilt has descended on you and is scaring the bejeezus out of you. Guilt is just poisonous. The most loving thing you can for your wife and your family is to see clearly what took place, accept is a part of your personal history, take a breath, let it go and get on with your life.

You have no valid cause for concern about HIV. Really.


Thanks for your response.  I will do my best to relax.  Say a prayer that my result comes back negative this afternoon.

Unless you did other things, your test will be negative. I think you are probably feeling guilty because you went to such a place, being married with children and all. Perhaps you need to examine that part of your life, so you won't place yourself at greater risk in the future. Is there any place you can get counseling?


I just received the call -------  NEGATIVE.

Thank you all for your support!

God Bless you all.

Next step---- speak to someone try to find out why i did what i did.


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