Main Forums > Someone I Care About Has HIV

A question for others out there

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Queen Tokelove:
Actually there is nothing I can add, everyone has said it all. You also made the effort to let him know you are there for him, there is really nothing left to do but to play the waiting game, which sucks, and say some prayers for him. Hopefully after some brief space, he will come around again and maybe feel like sharing what is going on with him.

Thanks to all who have provided me with their kind and supportive words.
My friend and I have been in touch and have had an opportunity to express our honest feelings, wants, needs and desires.

We have also had an opportunity to see the roles we each played in the "falling out" on New Year's Eve.

I've let him know that I am sincere about being there for him and I believe he is comfortable in knowing that.

Only the future can tell what is in store for each of us. I am hopeful that whatever direction things go will be the right one.

Thanks again to all. This a a great, and valuable forum.

Queen Tokelove:
That is great news, Otter. That lil bit of space helped, eh? I'm glad that you both have gotten the lines of communication open again and was able to express how each of you feel.

There are plenty of examples of serodischordant relationships working well, and plenty of the opposite.  The fact is that this relationship, like all others, has two people involved.  Just because person X is poz and person Y is not, has less bearing on its dissolution than the nature of the personalities involved.  While it is tempting to issue platitudes like "the poz person just needs more time" or "sometimes people push others away who are being supportive", these things are, in fact, empty words.

Relationship sometimes succeed.  Sometimes they fail.  You may have been supportive in your mind, but this might not have been what he wanted or needed.  In fact, based on the paragraphs you wrote here, one can pretty much only surmise one thing:  we have one side of the story.  Yours.   In fact, I would venture to say that since you describe his as "unconventional" that an off-the-cuff determination was that you two might be fundamentally incompatible.

I am sorry this relationship did not go your way.  It is painful to lose someone you care about, especially when you think you are doing everything right.  However, just remember... it's not about you.  Some people like avocados.  Some people don't.  This has nothing to do with the intrinsic nature of the avocado. 


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