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Author Topic: Am I conclusive?  (Read 6899 times)

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Offline FinallyFree

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Am I conclusive?
« on: August 06, 2006, 12:33:07 AM »
I've skimmed through here, along with multiple other sites, and I'm still very scared...And although the better half of my mind is telling me to calm down, I'm still very concerned.

My risk: I had one episode of unprotected receptive vaginal sex with an exboyfriend of mine about a few months ago, who is of unknown status. He did not ejaculate inside of my body, but he did come inside of mouth afterwards when I performed oral on him. I'm worried because I know he used to be a stripper, and from what he has told me, he is/was quite promiscuious (he said he's never slept with a customer, but he's not exactly the most trustworthy person on earth). He told me he was STD/HIV free before I slept with him, because he's in the military (the Reserves) and that he gets routine testing every so many months. Like I said, he wasn't exactly Mr. Honest to begin with... I really do regret doing what I did with him, and I realize that nothing could possibly feel good enough to make me forget the worry I have right now.


How much of a risk am I at?

Thanx to all.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Yeah, I need a little help...please.
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2006, 03:50:47 AM »
Just test at thirteen weeks to get a conclusive result. Never have unprotected sex with anyone until you know their status and yours.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Yeah, I need a little help...please.
« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2006, 12:49:57 PM »
Given the information you are reporting, the odds in this single incident are in your favor against transmission having occured.

But you do need to learn from this experience. No matter whom you are with in the future, no matter how great he looks or how nice he is or anything else, the guy always has to wear a condom if you are going to have intercourse. No exceptions. And you can have as much sex as you like. Just make sure he's wearing latex. Period.

Good luck with your test result.
Andy Velez

Offline FinallyFree

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Re: Yeah, I need a little help...please.
« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2006, 10:34:13 PM »
Thank you, Andy. You just made me feel a lot better. I definately have learned from this.

Offline FinallyFree

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Re: Yeah, I need a little help...please.
« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2006, 11:53:41 PM »
Ok this is a stupid question, I'm just posting it here to get a real answer from someone who knows what they're talking about butttt....

I went to the doctor for a physical not too long ago and they drew blood from me and ran a "full blood count" test thing on me (I don't remember the exact name, but I know it was to check all the numbers or whatever and stuff in my blood)...Now I know that test does not test for the HIV virus, but if I am indeed infected, would the results that came back have shown that something was up with my blood? Like the white blood cell count or something? I haven't heard anything back, and this happened about 2 months ago, so I'm assuming everything was okay with it.

Sorry if this was completely idiotic of me to ask.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Yeah, I need a little help...please.
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2006, 04:32:41 AM »
No, the CBC testing would not check for HIV nor would it tell the lab or doctor to check for HIV.

Offline murderboy

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I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2006, 11:10:24 AM »
just recently i found out that HIV can be spread through oral sex!!!! now im scared. i nevery thought it could be!! i had oral sex with my boyfriend 4 times, 2 times he came in my mouth and i swallowed. we always used condoms for sex but now i fear i may have HIV since i dont know what his status is. i feel so stupid.

should i get tested??????? plz help me.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2006, 11:20:15 AM »
There is a small risk of receptive. There is not a risk, being insertive. It's up to you if you get tested or not. Why don't you both get tested together and then you won't have to worry about it?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2006, 12:01:43 PM »
Whooaaaaaaaaa there!

If you have read the lesson on transmission on this site (the link to it is in the first thread in this section), then you know the risk for transmission via giving oral is very, very low. Of course that is not the same as no risk, but I mean REALLY low.

There have been three longterm studies with large numbers of sero-dystonic couples, both gay and straight. There was lots of oral sex involved and always protected vaginal/anal sex. The results in all three studies were that among those couples who consistently used condoms for intercourse none of the sero-negative partners became infected. So bear that in mind along with whatever else you have been reading.

In general it's a good idea to get tested regularly, by which I mean at least annually and every six months is not a bad idea. I say that as much to reassure you as anything else.

It's also good for you and your bf to talk openly about this issue and about HIV in general. By dealing with it openly and honestly, (without "dumping" feelings), it can actually become an opportunity to deepen the intimacy and trust in your relationship.Many thousands of sero-dystonic couples are having great relationships in every way including sexually and you can too. It does take some work. But it's worth it.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline ACinKC

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Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2006, 12:28:00 PM »
Listen to Rapid and Andy.  If you are serious about this guy, both of you should go together.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline murderboy

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Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2006, 01:59:35 PM »
well i just tried calling the local planned parenthood to make an appointment to test and they dont offer HIV testing...


where can i go to be tested? i dont have a doctor and i dont have health insurance. are those home access testing kits reliable???

plz help.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2006, 02:40:00 PM »
There should be an STD clinic in your area. Yes the home tests are reliable, they do give false positives some times. They must be taken at 13 weeks past you last unprotected sex. If you are going to test I suggest that you go to the clinic.

Offline murderboy

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Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2006, 11:12:35 AM »
I have called every single Planned Parenthood within a 30 radius of where I live and NONE of them offer HIV testing. Which is surprising considering I live near Detroit...even the planned parenthood there doesn't offer it.

After finding out that the home test sometimes give false positive results, I would MUCH rather go to a clinic that is out of my way.

Is there any website out there that informs of testing sites?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #13 on: August 09, 2006, 11:27:14 AM »
If you go to poz.com, there is a window that allows for an advanced search for ASOs (AIDS Service Organizations). Finding one in Detroit should be easy. They will point you in the right direction.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #14 on: August 09, 2006, 11:58:01 AM »
murderboy,



Can I ask why you are using different usernames while posting to our forums? Thus far, you have also used FinallyFree

Please realize that this kind of activity is disrespectful of other forum members, as well as our moderators. People spend a considerable amount of time helping others in these forums. Using multiple accounts is at the very least annoying, if not deceiving and disrespectful of others. It is also against our Terms of Membership which you agreed to when you became a member. This information is also contained within the Welcome Thread, which you should have read by now. So really, you have no excuse.

You must realize that the answers won't change, no matter how many names you post under.

I would appreciate a reply to this message, and I hope you will commit to using just one account - preferably your original one. If not, you will be banned from further access to the forums.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline murderboy

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Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #15 on: August 10, 2006, 10:50:42 PM »
Ann - I sincerely apologize for violating the rules of this board.  Can I keep using this screen name, though? I forgot my password for the other one. If possible, can you delete that other name of mine? I will consistenly use this one from now on though (which hopefully won't be too much longer). Again I apologize.

I do have some questions concerning testing and a certain problem I had...I hope I didnt tick you off too much to the point where you dont want to answer me...

from what i read on here, i know you all stress heavily that symptoms or lack thereof are not an indicator of HIV infection...however not too long ago i noticed a raised white line/blotch type thing on the top, center part of my tongue towards the back where those rasied tastebuds everyone has are at. I visited my doctor, and she told me it didnt appear to be anything, but then asked me if I smoked (which i do). She then set up a appointment for me to visit a specialist about it a week later wrote "leukoplakia" as a diganosis on my recpiet . I didnt end up going to the appointment because the spot had gone away on its own. Maybe 2 weeks later, it reappeared again, and also went away on its own again. I looked up leukoplakia online (bad choice) and you guessed it...like every other aligment out there, it is an "indicator" of HIV infection. At the time of this happening, I was going out every weekend, drinking alcohol, and chain-smoking. Would you consider that to be a sign that I am infected?
I'd like to add that since i've stopping going out, I also stopped drinking completely and stopped smoking so much, and as a result of me doing that, that white spot on my tongue has stopped appearing. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it was caused my by tongue being irritated so often and not by HIV and that if it was caused by HIV it would not be able to go away on it's own without proper medicaton.

And about testing...I finally found places that test and Im going to call them up tomorrow to inquire about when I could be tested. Ive taken the advice of the others on this board to get tested in a clinic, however I am worried that they may use that "Rapid test". While I wouldnt mind getting my test results in 20 minutes compared to 2 weeks, Ive read that the rapid tests sometimes have false-positive results. Is this true? If so, Id rather wait the extra time to make sure I have a completely accurate test.

thanks for your time.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #16 on: August 10, 2006, 10:56:01 PM »
Please read our Welcome Thread. It contains all the answers you need. As does this thread.

MtD

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #17 on: August 10, 2006, 11:01:03 PM »
So you "seriously" didn't know that performing fellatio presented a small but finite risk for HIv infection?

Not buying it. Not buying anything you are selling at this point. Not after reading your other thread. You have access to the welcome thread and all the info about HIv transmission and testing you need.... which you apparently did not read the first time you were on this board.

I respectfully withdraw from further conversation on this thread.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #18 on: August 11, 2006, 06:33:18 AM »
Boy,

You can carry on with this name, but I have merged your two threads so we can all see your posting history at a glance. If you create a third account, you will be banned, no questions asked. You can request a password reminder if you forget again, so you have no excuse. I've disabled your original account.

Leukoplakia cannot be diagnosed properly by just looking at it - it normally requires a biopsy for a conclusive diagnosis. Chain smoking will do all sorts of nasty things to your mouth - I'm not surprised the problem went away after you stopped abusing your mouth like that.

False positives do sometimes happen no matter what test is used. That is why there are other tests used to confirm a positive result - and you will know all about that if you take the time to read the Welcome thread like you've been asked to. Get reading.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline murderboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: I seriously didnt know...
« Reply #19 on: August 11, 2006, 12:27:53 PM »
I am getting tested today...Im very very nervous. The testing device that the clinic is using is the Orasure test and I was told that I should get my result in about a week.

Should I refrain from eating or drinking anything before the test? And would my nasty smoking habit have any effect on the test?

Wish me luck...and thank you to everyone that has given me advice, even though I managed to annoy some of you.

Offline murderboy

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Am I conclusive?
« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2006, 03:40:28 PM »
I just recently tested negative with the Orasure HIV test 86 days after my last potential risk...which was protected sex and unprotected oral sex (me giving). I know the standard is 90 days, can I consider this to be conclusive?

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Am I conclusive?
« Reply #21 on: August 22, 2006, 03:44:49 PM »
I urge you to stick to your original thread, where we talked a lot about your vanishingly small risk.

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=2601.msg30155#msg30155

No matter whether you had unprotected receptive anal sex or oral sex, three months is considered the gold standard window period for testing. You are absolutely negative. And in the future, if you do not feel comfortable having unprotected oral sex, its your responsibility to establish and maintain that boundary.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Am I conclusive?
« Reply #22 on: August 22, 2006, 06:17:42 PM »
murder,

Did you ever read the posting guidelines like you were asked to?

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines.

Thank you for your cooperation.

An antibody test from twelve weeks on is conclusive. You are hiv negative - protect your negative status by using condoms for intercourse.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Warren

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Am I conclusive?
« Reply #23 on: August 22, 2006, 09:17:00 PM »
You should test according to the guidelines.

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/qa9.htm

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Am I conclusive?
« Reply #24 on: August 22, 2006, 09:22:47 PM »
Thankfully, those guidelines are in the process of being revised ... for the first time in a decade. Three months is considered definitive.

:)

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline murderboy

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Re: Am I conclusive?
« Reply #25 on: August 22, 2006, 11:09:39 PM »
Two stupid questions...bare with me, please =(

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, my doctor thought that I MIGHT have Leukoplakia, and advised me to go to an ENT for it. Well, it went away on it's own (without any medication) before my appointment with the ENT, so I was never able to find out what it really was. If it was due to HIV infection, I would have tested positive, correct? Or rather, a friend of mine (who is studying to be a nurse) told me that if it was from HIV, it wouldn't have gone away by itself, and that it would have occured when the infection had turned into full-blown AIDS, and I would have known I had it by then because I'd be hopsitialized with some other illnesses. Is that right?

Secondly, I'm good at letting my imagine run freely, and the thought that the test was performed wrong has crossed through my mind a few times...As I said, it was an Orasure test, and the conseluor administrating the test gave me the little swab thing and had me stick it my mouth myself. He had me keep it in there for a few minutes, then had me rub my inner cheek up and down a few times before I had to put it in it's little vile. Now, there's no way I could have fucked it up where it wouldn't have picked up enough saliva or whatever it tests, right?  Reagrdless of how dry my mouth felt?

I know I sound crazy...but thank you tremendously for dealing with my questions.

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Am I conclusive?
« Reply #26 on: August 22, 2006, 11:14:51 PM »
You are absolutely, completely, certifiably HIV negative. Seriously, Were there a shred of doubt, no one here would say that. At least, not without a healthy debate emerging. Aidsmeds.com takes it's science very seriously.

The next step for you is to decide whether you are brave enough to leap from the circular train of HIV worry. Believe me, it's not easy. There's a real comfort in that cycle. But ultimately, it can consume you. I urge you not to let it do that.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline murderboy

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  • Posts: 8
Re: Am I conclusive?
« Reply #27 on: August 23, 2006, 10:58:55 PM »
Yeah I know...I've been trying to keep myself busy so the "what-ifs" don't pop into my mind. I'm just worried that the test kit didn't pick up enough speciem since my mouth was kinda dry when I took the test. Is that even possible?

And yeah...sorry for bothering you all with my questions. I feel like a jerk asking them =/

Offline Ann

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Re: Am I conclusive?
« Reply #28 on: August 24, 2006, 05:05:32 AM »
murder,

If the oral swab antibody test was suceptible to those kinds of problems, it wouldn't be approved for diagnostic use. It was thoroughly researched, tried and tested before it was available for use by the general public. People who create the tests and the people who administer the test do so to discover people's hiv status. If there were a chance the tests were not diagnosing some people, they wouldn't be using them.

And just so you know, when they were testing the oral swab technology, they were double testing people. They'd also take blood for a traditional test and compare those results with the oral results. The oral swabs work, no matter if your mouth is dry or not. (Do you honestly think you were the first to take that test while nervous with a dry mouth?)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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