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Author Topic: prostitute encounter  (Read 4460 times)

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Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
prostitute encounter
« on: December 29, 2006, 12:06:42 PM »
Hi,

so I am going out of my mind over the following encounter and would really appreciate some advice from this forum. I have been turning the internet upside down and that really doesn't help...

I ended up having an encounter with a prostitute in Germany (reasonably upscale establishment) where the following happened:
- unprotected oral on me (15 seconds maybe)
- lots of licking/sucking (her nipples, and skin all over, she on my  skin)
- I rubbed her vagina (did not penetrate) with my finger and licked that finger for lubrication twice

From what I have been reading here that should pose only a small risk for HIV right? What worries me is that I had a canker sore at the back of my mouth at the time. would it be possible that I picked up the virus with my finger when I was rubbing her labia and that it then somehow got in my mouth when I licked that finger???

Btw, I did test negative with std blood tests here in northern CA at 25 days and 46 days post the event.

PLease please answer my questions:

1) Could I be at risk for HIV at all?
2) how conclusive are my tests?
3) is there any risk to my wife I love very much?
4) do I have to confirm the test at 12 weeks?

Thank you for your support and all the work you are doing here!

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2006, 12:07:42 PM »
I am sorry, I forgot to add that I also had protected vaginal intercourse. But since the condom stayed intact I didn't worry about that...

Online RapidRod

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Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2006, 12:14:59 PM »
You didn't have a small risk. You had NO RISK.

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2006, 12:38:18 PM »
Thank you for your rapid reply, RapidRod.

So you would say that I can safely resume sex with my wife without putting her at risk right?

Online RapidRod

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Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2006, 12:41:52 PM »
Have you had an std panel done? You should get that cleared before you resume unprotected sex with your wife. You give her something and you may end up with nothing.

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2006, 01:15:00 PM »
yes. Chlamydia, Gonorrhea negative at 25 days. Syphilis, HIV negative at 25 days and 46 days.

You know what is freaking me out that my wife had a shingles outbreak a few weeks after my incident (which I read is a symptom of HIV). This is probably all conincidence; I did not have sex with her ever since except for a one blowjob she gave me w/o ejaculation...
it is starting to wear down my relationship and i am wondering if it is safe to resume sex with her....

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2006, 02:40:19 PM »
Hi,

could any of the revered moderators also comment on my situation, ... please? I am going out of my mind here....

Thank you!

Offline Coffeechick88

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  • Posts: 431
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2006, 03:35:56 PM »
Go have as much sex with her as your heart desires.  You don't have HIV, STD panel checked out, so all is well.  As for shingles, most cases have nothing to do with HIV--that includes younger people as well.
Lucas James is here
Born 6-14-08 at 1233 am
8 lbs 14 oz, 22 in long

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2006, 08:33:56 PM »
Thank you.

From reading the forum I gather that most people here are convinced that getting a blowjob is not a risk for HIV at all.

How about licking a finger that has rubbed a woman's labia extensively while having a canker sore at the same time??

Is that a risk worth testing over? And if so, are my tests at 25 and 46 days conclusive (as stated by Massachusetts, etc)?

Thanks again for helping me deal with my anxieties...

Online RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,276
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #9 on: December 29, 2006, 08:52:01 PM »
It's fact you don't get HIV from receiving a blowjob. It's fact that you don't get HIV from licking your fingers after fingering. How many times do you have to be told you didn't have a risk for HIV? No Risk, NO TEST, it's as smiple as that.

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2006, 09:01:50 PM »
Thanks, I am starting to feel a bit better. I am sorry for the repetitiveness you guys are all going through. Of course this is all driven by highly anxious people - like me...

Btw, not to disrespect anyone here (and maybe for other participants benefit here), but can someone explain to me what "Members" are allowed/qualified to give advise as opposed to others and Moderators? I can see that RapidRod for example is highly active and never gets reigned in by Ann et al when giving advice as opposed to some other members?

Thanks.

Online RapidRod

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Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2006, 09:08:01 PM »
The only ones that can't give advice is people that are WW. I don't know about the rest. I've been here since April 2005, probably have over 6000 posts. Have been HIV positive over 22 years and a cert. ICCU/Trauma/NEC paramedic for 32 years.

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2006, 09:17:42 PM »

I see, thanks. I can see you are extremely qualified. (btw, just FYI your profile states around 2800 posts and signed up since May 2006 - but maybe thats out of date...)

What does WW mean btw?

Thanks.

Online RapidRod

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Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2006, 09:22:38 PM »
That is just this new board. We had a different board before this. We didn't keep our counted post from the first board and started from zero.  ww, means worry well. People that continue to ask questions that have not had a risk, up don't give up asking questions over and over and over again.

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2006, 09:42:59 PM »
Ok, thanks.

So I am taking the fact that none of the moderators are commenting in my thread here the best way possible. I.e. I am taking that to mean that they agree with Rod and Coffeegirl in that I had NO RISK (so obviously in fact that it is not even worht bothering to comment) whatsoever regarding HIV. With my negative STD panel, I will take that insight and go ahead and resume unprotected sex with my wife (finally)...

Btw, for what it's worth (to my fellow WWs out there), my research over the past weeks has turned up a lot of indicators that 6 weeks is in fact virtually conclusive as a window period for HIV as also discussed in this forum (and as shared by Dr Handsfield on medhelp, etc). Even Harvard University's health service dept says so as do some of the SHCs in Australia. So on top of the zero risk I am taking my 6.5 week test as addiitional assurance to forget about the whole thing.

Thanks...
 

Online RapidRod

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Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #15 on: December 30, 2006, 05:02:16 AM »
Charles that is incorrect. The CDC says, 13 weeks for a conclusive test. Mass. says that antibodies usually can be found by 6 weeks, no where does it say that it is conclusive. You cited the same info from Harvard University's health service, that site too does not say it is conclusive. I would appreciate it as would others, if you post information, that you post correct information.

Online Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #16 on: December 30, 2006, 07:42:15 AM »
Charles,

You didn't have a risk and you do not need further testing. Period. End of Story.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #17 on: December 30, 2006, 11:42:39 AM »
Hi,

thanks Rod and Ann.

I won't make you get into a yet another discussion about window period. I did say "virtually" conclusive. If you call the Mass hotline they will in fact tell you conclusive as will some Australian SHCs (with the exception of some rare poeple on immunodepressive drugs etc). But in any case I really appreciate the work you guys are doign here and the help you provided to me.

Also, as stated many times here and elsewhere, nothing in this world is really 100%. So theoretically even a 3 or even 6 month test is not 100% It maybe 99.9%). I like the way Dr Handsfieldl from medhelp thinks about it: you start multiplying probabilities. If someone had a low risk encounter, an earlier test is sufficient as the resulting likelihood is equal to someone who had a high risk encunter and tests later.

Given that I am a paranoid WW I will likely retest at 12 weeks for my peace of mind. Hopefully I won't be the first that turns positive after a 6 week negative and in that contribute to the building set of data that may in the future cause even the CDC to lower their recommendation to 6 weeks....

Online RapidRod

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Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #18 on: December 30, 2006, 11:50:21 AM »
You should go back and read the Mass. Health Departments statement. No where does it say 6 weeks is conclusive.

Online Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #19 on: December 30, 2006, 02:30:49 PM »
Charles,

You didn't have a risk and you do not need further testing. Period. End of Story.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline charlesmagne

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #20 on: January 02, 2007, 08:13:10 PM »
Thanks so much for all your replies, Rod, Coffeechick, and, Ann.

I am ready to accept that getting a blowjob is essentially zero risk for HIV infection as repeatedly and convincingly stated in this forum.

But could you comment on the risk of licking the same finger used for rubbing a vagina, while having a canker sore in one's mouth (and/or licking and sucking a potentially hiv+ person's nipples, skin)? Are there any data on this type of exposure? Is that just as low risk as getting a bj?

Thanks.

Online RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,276
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #21 on: January 02, 2007, 08:18:07 PM »
You said you understand, but I see you don't. You don't get hiv from a blowjob, from nipple sucking or licking your fingers. Doesn't matter if you have a canker sore or not.

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #22 on: January 02, 2007, 08:30:43 PM »

THanks, Rod. I guess I am a WW through and through. Mostly out of guilt and fear of infecting my wife.

But given the repeated assurances from you guys I am starting to feel better.

So... absolutely NO RISK (independent of canker sore, or other what ifs and spins as Ann likes to say). NO need for further testing. Just move on (resume sex with my wife most importantly) right??

Thanks.

Online RapidRod

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Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #23 on: January 02, 2007, 08:39:26 PM »
Yes, move on, have sex with your wife.

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #24 on: January 04, 2007, 09:12:41 PM »


Sorry to be back again. I seem to have trouble letting this go and am still dying of anxiety (mostly over infecting my wife).

I was wondering, what if one gets an unprotected blowjob, then a condom gets put on while there is still saliva (and possibly traces of blood) on the penis, would vaginal intercourse following that potentially "massage" viral fluid into one's urethra and thereby the whole process actually becomes risky?

I have also read that ulcers such as canker sores are full of the kind of cells that the HIV virus attacks, making an exposure while having such sores more risky?

Do you all still consider my encounter as detailed above in this thread NO risk at all?

Please respond and help a paranoid WW in deep anxiety!

Online RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,276
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #25 on: January 04, 2007, 09:36:46 PM »
You are making yourself out of our scope of helping you. You need to seek the help of mental health professional to work with you. You did not have a risk and there is nothing more we can help you with, nor can the Internet.

Offline charlesmagne

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  • Posts: 14
Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #26 on: January 04, 2007, 10:29:03 PM »
yes, I am considering that in fact. I may be out of the scope of this forum to help me. Nonetheless I think that answering my factual questions (ridiculous as they may seem to you) would help me. you still seem to be of the opinion that there is NO risk at all?

Online RapidRod

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Re: prostitute encounter
« Reply #27 on: January 05, 2007, 05:43:03 AM »
Skip the our opinion part, it's fact. You did not have a risk. End of Story.

 


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