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Author Topic: My angel has gone home  (Read 9254 times)

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Offline mrsjozy

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
My angel has gone home
« on: December 28, 2006, 07:41:24 PM »
Yesterday my son turned two and my mom died. 11 plus years she has been fighting her battle. But never did I really see this coming, even though I have been preparing myself mentally for this for what seems like forever. So cold she was..so peaceful and free. I guess asking the lord to bring her back would be just thinking only of me. No more will she have to suffer, no more meds and side effects. No more doctors appt. dialysis, shakes or night sweats. I'm at a lost for anymore words, tell me what to do from here?

Offline scotttt

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2006, 08:05:31 PM »
Mrs. Jozy,

I am very sorry that you have experienced this loss.  My heart goes out to you.  I am certain that your love gave her comfort throughout her difficult battle. 

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,353
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2006, 09:46:38 PM »
Mrs. Jozy

How difficult to lose your mom and at the same time how glorious that she had you to stand by her and she had time as grandmother to your son. It's understandable for you to be at a loss for words. You ask what to do? Allow yourself the time to grieve. There are good books on the stages of grieving--they are distinct and sometimes it's helpful to know that a certain type of reaction or feelings are quite normal. In fact, to suppress grief is not healthy for you, or for your son.

To set aside time for such things as walks, a relaxing bath, a movie with a friend--are ways to schedule in time for yourself. Two-year-olds have a way of making sure you stay on their schedule--it's a good idea to make sure you're in the mix, too.

In time, the best memories surface and the stories created by and with your mom will be retold to your son by you and others who knew and loved her. Journaling is a way of not losing the recollections you may have and hear early on.

Wishing you peace
Em

Offline koi1

  • Member
  • Posts: 713
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2006, 10:13:17 PM »
My heart goes out to you and I am sorry that she passed away. At least like you said she is not suffering and is in a better place. My deepest sympathies. I hope you get to read the support in your thread to at least receive some consolement. Tak care of yourself because your baby neeeds you.

rob
diagnosed on 11/20/06 viral load 23,000  cd4 97    8%
01/04/07 six weeks after diagnosis vl 53,000 cd4 cd4 70    6%
Began sustiva truvada 01/04/07
newest labs  drawn on 01/15/07  vl 1,100    cd4 119    7%
Drawn 02/10/07
cd4=160 viral load= 131 percentage= 8%
New labs 3/10/07 (two months on sustiva truvada
cd4 count 292  percentage 14 viral load undetectable

Offline lovingdaughter

  • Member
  • Posts: 23
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2006, 10:56:08 PM »
   I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I have been through a lot in the past months with my dad & I know what you mean about preparing yourself. You always wonder when the phone rings, is this the time? I don't think we can really, truly prepare ourselves to loose a parent. I just keep telling myself to take in ALL moments that I have with my dad. Remember all good times & bad, as they are also our life together. And if you are like me you will discover that the "bad" times weren't really that bad. Just stepping stones to a wonderful life. I love my dad with all of my heart and I know you felt the same for your mom. Although my dad is still with me, I feel what you are going through!
   
   Keep your mom with you through your memories !!!! Let your son get to know her through your memories !
Keep your chin up in her memory & Love the life you have.

   I hope I can live by my own advise one day, but until then, God bless you & your family!!
                                                                         Lisa




Offline blondbeauty

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,784
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2006, 06:41:29 PM »
I am sorry your mother has passed away. But you still have a child. Remembering her foerever is the way to keep her alive in your heart.
 :-\ :-*
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
Last V.L.count (Oct 2013): Undetectable
Last CD4 count (OCT 2013): 52%= 933

Offline bear60

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,104
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2006, 06:52:15 PM »
I am sorry for your loss.  But as has been said the person will stay alive with you  forever in your memories.
I lost a very dear friend on Nov 26, 2006 and his memorial service is tomorrow which also happens to be his 41st birthday. Keeping some things of his and pictures and memories will keep him with me.
If you feel a huge emptiness in your being where that person used to be, I understand.  I have gone through this with too many of my friends who have passed away. It will feel better in time.  You have to give it time.  If you need counseling then by all means try to get some. I am aware that there are Grief support groups also.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline J.R.E.

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,221
  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #7 on: December 29, 2006, 07:02:04 PM »
Dear Jozy,

I am sorry to hear of your moms passing. My deepest heartfelt sympathy and condolences, go out to you and your family, during this difficult time. Be strong...



((((HUGS))))-------Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 8/2514,  t-cells are at 402, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 11%

  
 62 years young.

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,947
  • AM member since 2003
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #8 on: December 29, 2006, 07:29:59 PM »
Dear Jozy

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Many people here are thinking of you right now, I hope you can feel their thoughts and prayers holding you during this time, and I hope in time you feel the relief in accepting the things you cannot change....it's only natural to want her back, but she is at peace now, and remember, she will always be with you so never forget that, and keep her safely locked up in your heart.

Love and thoughts are with you.

Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline PositivelyYours

  • Member
  • Posts: 133
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2006, 08:59:53 PM »

Dear mrsjozy,

You have my deepest sympathy.  Just know that death is a road we must all travel.  Think about all the good times you had with your mother and know that your mother lives within you, so she is never far from you. Blessing to you and your family.

Yesterday my son turned two and my mom died. 11 plus years she has been fighting her battle. But never did I really see this coming, even though I have been preparing myself mentally for this for what seems like forever. So cold she was..so peaceful and free. I guess asking the lord to bring her back would be just thinking only of me. No more will she have to suffer, no more meds and side effects. No more doctors appt. dialysis, shakes or night sweats. I'm at a lost for anymore words, tell me what to do from here?
PositivelyYours

Diagnosed: 08/10/2006
08/31/06 CD4:240/VL:39,000
09/12/06 CD4:359/VL:50,000
11/16/06 CD4:509/VL:76,000 (Flu Shot)
02/13/07 CD4:270/VL:69,000
02/17/07 Developed the Shingles
02/20/07 CD4:326/VL (Not Tested)
03/20/07 CD4:484/VL:54,000
06/19/07 CD4:488/VL:51,000
09/18/07 CD4:372/VL:27,000
10/09/07 Took Flu Shot
12/18/07 CD4:408/VL:85,000
03/18/08 CD4:394/VL:116,000 (Still No Meds)
05/22/08 CD4:412/VL:63,000
08/13/08 CD4:362/VL:67,000
09/23/08 Took Flu Shot
10/15/08 CD4:340/VL:54,000
11/14/08 Started Atripla @ 9:45 p.m.
1/30/09 CD4:641/VL:<48 Copies
5/07/09 CD4:667/VL: Undetectable
12/02/09 CD4:759/VL: Undetectable
03/05/10 CD4:537/VL: Undetectable
03/16/10 Rec'd TB Skin Test, Pneumonia & Hep B Vac
04/15/10 Hep B & Tetanus Vac
6/10 CD4: 748 VL: Undet.

Offline jntmax39

  • Member
  • Posts: 81
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2006, 10:51:44 PM »
Mrs Jozy
I am so sorry for your moms passing. I will pray for you and your family.
God bless you: Janet

Offline Queen Tokelove

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #11 on: December 31, 2006, 05:04:11 PM »
I am indeed sorry for your loss. The best thing is to grieve and remember the memories. Keep them close to your heart...You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

The Royal Blog

Offline ndrew

  • Member
  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2006, 09:30:03 PM »
My thoughts are with you.  May everyday that passes be a stepping stone to peace and love in your loss.

Luv and support,
Drew

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,753
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2006, 09:30:46 PM »
I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers!



Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)
 

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,955
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2007, 09:57:21 AM »
Mrs. J,

My condolences on your mother's passing.

I'm glad you have the great comfort of that wonderful two year old to keep the light shining in your life.

Sincerely,
Andy Velez

Offline Nico

  • Member
  • Posts: 262
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #15 on: January 06, 2007, 09:22:14 PM »
Mrs Jozy,
My prayer tonight includes you and your family.  I will say a special prayer for your mother.  The love you have for her and your family will be your strength.  I know she is watching over all of you in peace.

Prayers and comfort.
Roger
Poz since 1990.

Offline AlanBama

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,642
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2007, 10:01:26 PM »
Mrs J,

thinking of you and including you in my prayers.  May you find comfort in the pleasant memories of your Mom, when she was well.

Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline RevMC

  • Member
  • Posts: 224
  • It's me!
    • Psychic AwakeningSchool.com
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #17 on: January 12, 2007, 10:43:22 PM »
Mrs Jozy,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this troubling time.  She is no longer suffering, but rather looking down from above and smiling warmly upon you and your family.

Losing a loved one is the hardest thing to have happen.  I lost my mother almost 6 years ago.  I thought dealing with HIV for all these years was the hardest thing to do, but being by my mothers bedside and holding her hand when she passed was definitely the hardest thing ever in my life.

Your mother would want you to take time for yourself and your beautiful son.  Have faith in knowing that she is always around you, just close your eyes and think of some wonderful memories the 2 of you shared.  You'll feel her love coming through to you.

We are all here for you at anytime.
Part of my story: "Sale Of A Lifetime" POZ December 2003
http://www.poz.com/articles/172_752.shtml

Started on Truvada and Viramune on 2/15/07

Jan 8, 2007   t-cells 215  Viral Load 10,000  24%
March 26'th  T-cells 306   Viral Load  UNDETECTABLE
June 2007 t-cells 375 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE
August 2007 t-cells 290 Viral Load UNDETECTABLE



Love and Light and Reiki sent your way,
Rev. Michae

Offline heartforyou

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,105
  • I must be a survivor in many ways...
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #18 on: January 13, 2007, 04:13:14 PM »
Dear Jozy,

You ask what to do now?
As Emeraldise said : take time to grieve..
Letting a loved on go is very very hard, even if you know she will not be in pain anymore.
Keep loving her by telling your son about her.

But I also send you a warm hug, as that is the only thing I can do.
Keeping you and your sweet mom in my thoughts

Hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline med forum

  • Member
  • Posts: 76
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #19 on: January 31, 2007, 07:44:56 AM »
May you be conforted with the memories and good times that you had with her.....love is an unbelievable power that can never be broken or forgotten.
My prayers are with you.....

Peace
Renee
Peace & health

Offline egello

  • Member
  • Posts: 899
  • cb
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #20 on: February 26, 2007, 02:33:02 AM »
i am so sorry for your loss,,, this is sort of shocking to me,,, what are people still dying from???????? i don't get it? so that means i could die soon too?
Reyataz / Norvir / Truvada/ Androgel 5 g / 2 days
1/29/07 14 T, 300 k V, 1.8 %
2/22/07 197 T, 247 V, 6.8 %
3/27/07 164 T, <50 V, 5.4 %
5/28/07 177 T, <50 V, 8.2 %
7/28/07 214 T, <50 V, 9.6 %
10/3/07 380 T, <50 V, 10 % no more Mepron, Famvir

Offline pozgroup

  • Member
  • Posts: 17
    • PozGroup.com
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #21 on: March 16, 2007, 03:49:11 AM »
Sorry to hear that, but as you said No more will she have to suffer. That may be better for her.
http://www.pozgroup.com--Living with STD, but not lonely!

Offline Mark46

  • member
  • Posts: 1
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #22 on: April 13, 2007, 01:16:53 AM »
I recently had a close friend pass, he was the first of my friends that are positive to pass. It has only been three weeks, but it is still hard for me to talk about without wanting to breakdown in tears. My heart goes out to you and so so my prayers. Mark
Mark Mynear

Offline Dragonette

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,190
  • Spring symptoms
    • NotPerfectAtAll
Re: My angel has gone home
« Reply #23 on: April 25, 2007, 08:01:32 AM »
Dear Jozy

Although I don't know please accept my deepest condolences to you and your family.
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

 


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