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August 28, 2015, 03:46:00 PM

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Author Topic: just met someone whos told me they are hiv looking for some advice.  (Read 258 times)

rossplymouth and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online rossplymouth

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hey im new here nice to meet you all. well im ross and im 30 years old i recenlty met a bloke and have been one 4 dates. we get on so well and just love being together, i had a feeling he was holding something back from me, last night i told him i was going to tell my family about us and he said just wait for 24 hours and meet me in the morning for a coffee so i met him today we had a great time and then he said ok i really need to tell you something, and as soon as he said that i new in my head what it was. he started to explain, hes spanish and is a nurse and worked in a spanish hospital with people with drug problems etc and he touched a needle or something. i was very shocked at first but also happy that he felt he could tell me. i dont know much about hiv so im finding it a bit scary because i really like this guy. so really im just looking for some information. and how at risk would i be.
« Last Edit: August 23, 2015, 11:02:45 AM by rossplymouth »

Offline EUINAU

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Re: just met someone whos told me they are hiv looking for some advice.
« Reply #1 on: August 24, 2015, 04:42:54 PM »
I am sure there will be others able to provide better info than me. All I say is take your time to read more about HIV so you are educated.

There are many +/- couples on here. I dated a guy who did not care about me being poz and it meant the world to me.

If you like the guy and you get the education you need, it really does not matter if someone is poz or neg unless your head tells you otherwise...

All the best ;)

Offline ianmx

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Re: just met someone whos told me they are hiv looking for some advice.
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2015, 06:16:45 PM »
hey ross. if you really like this guy, hiv should not stop the relationship.

i know the biggest fear is can you be infected. talk to your friend and ask more about his specific hiv status, ask him if he is undetectable, is he on meds, how often does he have blood tests.

your chances are pretty much near 0% of being infected if you always use a condom. there are very rare occasions when condoms break, if your partner is on hiv medicine and undetectable the chances are very low you can be infected, plus if that happens there are medicines you can take within 72 hours to help kill any virus that might be in your system, making your chances pretty much 0% of infection. so you can safely have a relationship with someone who is HIV+ without putting yourself at any great risk.

i know life expectancy is another issue for many people. will you get involved with someone with HIV and they will die when you are 30. it is unlikely but everyone is different. if your friend is healthy and lives a healthy life with diet and exercise he can live a normal life expectancy. i think treatment has been around for 30 years and many, many, many people have lived that long and we expect even longer.

it sounds like you really like this person, don't let fear stop you from seeing where this goes. use protection with sex, if he is undetectable that is even a better scenario, and if an accident happens you can still take medicine to greatly lower your chances of being infected.

the science behind HIV says it's OK for you to date someone who is HIV+ with little to no risk if precautions are taken. go for it  :D

« Last Edit: August 24, 2015, 06:19:28 PM by ianmx »
i haven't lost all my marbles, but there is a hole in the bag.

Online rossplymouth

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thank you so much for replying. he sat me down and asked me to ask every question i had about hiv and he also told me all about his situation. i forgot most of it now but he is undetectable and is on tablets. it was very scary for me at first mainly because i did know not much about it, but now i have got to know him i have realized that it doesnt matter, hes a great guy and so far all is going great. he has given me lots of information but i dont liek to keep asking him all the time that is why i came on here.


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