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Author Topic: Scared to lose him!  (Read 152 times)

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Offline Rachael_1

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Scared to lose him!
« on: December 19, 2014, 08:46:27 AM »
I married the love of my life in early September, a week after returning from out honeymoon an ex girlfriend called him and said she had been diagnosed with HIV.
He had been losing weight, having diarrhea for almost a year, he had been to the doctor and had ran some tests, which he showed me and was inconclusive. So as soon as the ex called I just knew.
We both went to get tested the next day and he tested positive, I tested negative.
I am heartbroken. I love him so much.
We just got his CD4 count last week, he has an extremely low count of 40. He was immediately medicated and is having no side effect so far from the meds, his appetite seems to have improved and he has not had diarrhea in 3 days.
I am terrified he may die at any minute, I lost my dad in January, he had chemo and was very thin and weak. My husband is also thin now, I keep looking at him and wondering if I may lose him too.
Does anyone have a positive story with a very low CD4 count?

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Scared to lose him!
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2014, 08:55:17 AM »
Welcome to the forum Rachael . Many of us here that live with HIV have cam back from single digit cd4 counts, Im one of them . I have now lived over 30 years with the virus and I am not special so if I can do it he can too . Please check out or lesson on PrEP ... its something for you to consider down the line . I'm wishing you the very best .


Offline Almost2late

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Re: Scared to lose him!
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2014, 10:32:41 AM »
Hi Rachael, sorry to hear of your newly wed husbands diagnoses but I can sincerely tell you that life is not over.. I also had low cd4's, lower than your husbands.. I had lost allot of weight too but then got it all back and then some, matter of fact I wish I hadn't ate so much cause now I'm over weight, lol.. I've only been on HIV meds 1 year, I still have AIDS but I feel much, much better than I did in January.

Once your husband gets his HIV viral load under control, I'm almost positive he will regain his weight and be able to live a normal life but this is only if he adheres to his meds.. To me, after regaining my health physically, the most challenging was keeping my mind stable as the stigma associated with HIV can cause many issues and we mostly stigmatize our own selves.. Your support might really help him deal with HIV both mentally and physically.

Also as Jeff suggested, you might want to read up on Prep and how to keep yourself from catching HIV.. Condoms are the cheapest and most effective way, IMO.. Remember it's a disease that doesn't care who you are but is very manageable if medications are taken.. Hope so much that helped.
"Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him." - Henry Miller


“Nothing in the world can one imagine beforehand, not the least thing, everything is made up of so many unique particulars that cannot be forseen.” - Nostradamus

Offline Rachael_1

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Re: Scared to lose him!
« Reply #3 on: Yesterday at 11:04:08 AM »
Thank you so much for both your answers!
I went back to get a follow up HIV test yesterday and I am still negative, after 2 years of unprotected sex with my now husband.
We are using condoms, the country we live in doesn't offer prophylactic meds for serodiscordant couples, except for if I am exposed i.e. the condom breaks.
I have bought him multivitamins, Calcium + vit D, fish oil, and Selenium supplements.
He has an increased appetite so I maintain a full fridge and encourage him to eat small frequent meals.
Do you know if there is anywhere where diet/supplement guidelines exist?
I am so glad both of you are doing well :)
My husband is scared of the stigma and so he has told nobody except me and has forbidden me to tell. It feels very isolating, I have a sister I share everything with but I respect his wishes and I cant vent with him as he has taken the "I am fine" approach.
Maybe he is fine, I am not so sure, I am not.
He knows I am there for him no matter what, besides being in very precarious health, he is 100% the man I married, he is just unlucky to have caught this.
Anyone could, I could/can.
We had a brief visit with a psychologist at the hospital that is treating him and she said it's normal for men to be less expressive. I get upset and cry easily but try to protect him from that.
I hope he manages to one day tell his parents, they would need to be educated on HIV as there is a LOT of stigma in our country. But they truly love him and maybe it would help him not feel stigmatized or isolated?
Thank you for reaching out to me!


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