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Author Topic: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?  (Read 1918 times)

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Offline jpy865

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  • Posts: 34
Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« on: December 24, 2006, 02:08:17 PM »
I have been positive for only one year now and want to perform oral sex to my Girlfriend.  Really just give Oral stimulation to her "clit". 

I understand there is only a theoretical risk with no penetration involved but I want her to be happy. 

If we would 69 then I would wear a condom.

I don't really care about how I feel I just want her to be happy and sexually satisfied.

What do you think Ann and others?
Diagnosed November, 2005
Medications: Truvada (NRTI), Kaletra (PI)
02/08
Cd4 = 735
VL = <50

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2006, 02:41:12 PM »
JP, you would not in any way be putting your gf at risk by giving her oral. And as long as you consistently use a condom for intercourse, she will be well protected.

As far as her giving you oral, giving oral to you is at the very low end of the risk scale. It's even less risk if ejaculation does not take place. There have been a few not-well documented cases of transmission in that manner. By contrast there have been longterm studies of sero-dystonic couples who had protected vaginal/anal intercourse and unprotected oral for both. The results were that not a single of the partners who were HIV negative became infected.

So as far as oral is concerned this is something you two have to decide what you feel comfortable with doing.

Incidentally, since you are HIV positive and I think others who have similar concerns might be interested in your question, I am going to move this thread over LIVING WITH HIV.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline rick21007

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  • Posts: 286
Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #2 on: December 24, 2006, 02:50:11 PM »
Thanks, Andy.  I really appreciate your answer as I have the same question.  I have had apprehensions so your answer is really reassuring.  You pretty much answered my question from my post last night.  You have just made 4 people happy! ;D

Rick in Central Oregon

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #3 on: December 24, 2006, 03:05:43 PM »
Hi JP and Rick,

You may both be interested in the serodiscordant studies. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. This shows us two things. One, condoms are very effective for the prevention of hiv transmission. Two, oral sex is much lower risk than previously believed. We now have the evidence that oral sex is a very, very low risk activity where hiv transmission is concerned.

Oh, and welcome to the forums, both of you.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline thunter34

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  • Posts: 7,326
  • His name is Carl.
Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #4 on: December 24, 2006, 03:16:34 PM »
This is one of those threads that seems like it belongs both in 'Am I Infected?' and 'Living With HIV'...stuff every eye should read and every ear should hear.  Not only do the conclusions about oral sex make for encouraging news, the display of couples working together to overcome obstacles and maintain both sexually and emotionally fulfilling relationships...well, that's a read that's good for the soul.  Very affirming. 

~Tim
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline rick21007

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Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #5 on: December 24, 2006, 03:43:28 PM »
A huge muchas gracias to all of you for making comment on this thread.  This is really a big-timr relief for me, and i appreciate the documentation given to back up the comments.  I am often a skeptic about what i read on the net. And jpy, thank you for asking the question. 

Rick

Offline marco23

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  • Posts: 392
Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2006, 04:36:14 PM »
Girlfriend...clit..........what are your talking about.......I don't understand...what language are you speaking?
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline jpy865

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  • Posts: 34
Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #7 on: December 24, 2006, 06:08:54 PM »
"Clit", or more properly the Clitoris, is the female version of the male head of penis. 

During the early stages of development we are all genitally females with certain genes activated we differentiate into males and/or females.

Either the male head of the penis forms or the clitoris and vulva form.

Understand a vulva or vagina is just a male shaft turned inside out.

Does that answer your ?
Diagnosed November, 2005
Medications: Truvada (NRTI), Kaletra (PI)
02/08
Cd4 = 735
VL = <50

Offline Eldon

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Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #8 on: December 24, 2006, 10:36:54 PM »
Yes, I AM Supporting You!

Hey Jpy865...

ENJOY your festivities.

Don't You Dare Give Up, Don't You Dare Give In...Because It Is ALL Within YOU to WIN!



Offline ACinKC

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  • Bring it VIRUS! #2 Ranked In-crowd Member!
Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2006, 09:29:34 AM »
I have been positive for only one year now and want to perform oral sex to my Girlfriend.  Really just give Oral stimulation to her "clit". 

I understand there is only a theoretical risk with no penetration involved but I want her to be happy. 

If we would 69 then I would wear a condom.

I don't really care about how I feel I just want her to be happy and sexually satisfied.

What do you think Ann and others?

JP  my wife and I are serodiscordant and we go at each other like mad orally!!!  No second thoughts really no protection on that end of things and we've had no problems for 4 years. 

It is REALLY hard to transmit that way and I mean EXTREMELY hard.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2006, 12:13:26 PM »


   You have to lick it before you stick it...  just make sure you have great technique!
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Christine

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  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Want to give oral to my Girlfriend? Advice on transmission risk?
« Reply #11 on: December 27, 2006, 03:17:14 PM »
You have to lick it before you stick it...  just make sure you have great technique!

Ohhh...so true!!

jpy- My husband is negative, I am +, and we have been together for 13 years. We use condoms for intercourse, everytime.

In the beginning of our relationship, we did use barriers during oral- dental dams/ and condoms based on the info at the time.  Now, we do not use protection during oral. We have discussed the risk factor, and mutually agree upon not using protection.

Talk to your girlfriend. Read over the studies on serodiscordant couples, then decide together what you are both comfortable in doing.

And of course...Enjoy!!

Christine

Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

 


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