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Author Topic: There are a lot of miserable people here  (Read 10531 times)

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Offline GSOgymrat

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There are a lot of miserable people here
« on: December 22, 2006, 02:27:13 PM »
The one thing that has struck me since I started reading these forums this year is that there are a lot of unhappy people on here. I can understand the newly infected being upset and depressed. I can understand the people who are currently ill being depressed. But there are so many people on here who just appear angry and miserable for no good reason. No, I personally don't consider being HIV+ and asymptomatic a good reason to be miserable. It reminds me when I went to a HIV support group when I was newly infected, 80% of the people there had mental health issues that had nothing to do with HIV. I wonder what percentage of people with HIV were depressed before they were infected and if perhaps their depression contributed to their being infected. I also wonder whether HIV is affecting our neurochemistry in subtle ways that have yet to be identified.

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2006, 02:31:54 PM »
Ooooh!  Good thread, GSO!  I've wondered about the potential mental effects thing myself!  I will say that I have NO DOUBT that depression helped lead me to HIV.  Mine was classic reckless behavior brought about as a means of passive suicide...rather, an indifference to living that I had.

I will also say that I know EXACTLY what you mean about some people who appear to be angry...just because?  Given the choice of being a crazy nut or a bitter berry, I will always opt for the nut.  Of course, my preference for nuts is also part of what led me here....
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline woodshere

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2006, 02:49:15 PM »
EXCELLENT GSO!!! Being positive finally led me to realizing that I do and have suffered from depression and am taking meds to help with it.  Does that mean I am happy all the time, of course not, but I am able to cope better.

Wow, never thought about depression leading to behavior that led to infection.  But I would say that definitely played a part of it as well as lots of booze and poppers.

Great thread,
Woods
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2006, 05:36:59 PM »
I wonder what percentage of people with HIV were depressed before they were infected and if perhaps their depression contributed to their being infected.

I seem to recall during the great days of my psych major in college (only for self-diagnostic purposes... I can assure you of that :P) studies that showed that depressed people are more likely to engage in risky behaviors like drugs, heavy drinking, and unprotected sex. 

I've also seen a lot of stuff indicating that poz people are much more likely to be depressed than negative people... of course, correlation doesn't imply a cause... but since there's a lot about this virus that we don't know yet... who can say?

Brilliant question, good sir.
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline heartforyou

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #4 on: December 22, 2006, 05:37:57 PM »
Will I still be shot at when I say that some people use HIV to commit suicide????

hermie
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline Longislander

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2006, 05:41:54 PM »
I'd say I had mild depression all my life. I've never seen anyone for it, but thought about it many times. It didn't lead me to drug use and alcohol and reckless unprotected sex. But it did fester my low self-esteem.

My low self-esteem lead to me to HIV. I was in a low esteem period after the summer and a cute young man knocked on my front door....
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #6 on: December 22, 2006, 05:46:28 PM »
Will I still be shot at when I say that some people use HIV to commit suicide????

hermie


Hermie:  See my original reply in this thread.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline heartforyou

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #7 on: December 22, 2006, 05:56:12 PM »
Tim,

I am glad you can relate.
I had once, in the context of spirituality, said that HIV is a way for people to end their lives in way that others would feel sorry for them.
Let me emphasise SOME.

My naturopath insisted on telling me that in her eyes, I contracted HIV to make me stop the mixing up of love and sex and bying friendship and "love" with my body.

I did indeed make a 180° turn in my life after my diagnosis.

Depression is boosted in my opinion, not only by the virus itself, but by the meds, the constant insecurity, the fight for life and many related issues.

Sharing on here and laughter are my best remedies.

Hermie :-*
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #8 on: December 22, 2006, 05:56:28 PM »
I'm not angry nor am I depressed. (I have pills)

Offline marco23

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #9 on: December 22, 2006, 06:24:42 PM »
I'm not angry or depressed anymore.... because the voices tell me so.
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline aupointillimite

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #10 on: December 22, 2006, 06:34:30 PM »
See, my voices were telling me to be miserable and depressed... but I drown them in booze.

I'm not so ridiculous as to say to myself, "Gee Benj, you're clearly not depressed... given how many unhealthy behaviors you engage in."

But the thing is, I rarely feel depressed.  Atripla gave me that side effect for a week and a half... and I've never felt worse in my life... if that's being depressed... I'm not it. 
Your tastebuds can't repel flavor of this magnitude!

Offline blondbeauty

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #11 on: December 22, 2006, 06:38:46 PM »
I am full of joy!  ;D
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
Last V.L.count (Oct 2013): Undetectable
Last CD4 count (OCT 2013): 52%= 933

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #12 on: December 22, 2006, 06:45:52 PM »
After seeing blond's pic, I am also full of joy!  (OK.  Too easy to resist saying)
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Amosboy

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #13 on: December 22, 2006, 06:49:36 PM »
This subject is long overdue, thank you.  At 19...long time ago...I was more into the immediate gratification of sex with a man.  Up to that point, I had only had sex (intercourse, to be exact) with women, and I was damn "horrified" of getting one of my girlie one night stands pregnant.  My first real shag with a guy was in college and I was quite high on pot and quite honestly, I didn't even think about HIV.  It felt great and that was that.  I do, however, think I have always been "hypersexual", though I wouldn't feel comfortable with a label of bisexual.  In retrospect, I think I've experienced "highs"...maybe even mild episodes of "mania", though no real depression.  I never had any thoughts of suicide.  

However, after my diagnosis, for at least the following four or five years, I had a "go out with a bang" attitude...sort of a self-destructive, warped notion of living in the "here and now".  Perhaps, that was a slow suicide.  It eventually passed and I sought out some "medicinal supplements" aka Paxil and never looked back.  I do think that young people, inherently think (as I did) that they are somehow invincible and recklessly shag like minks.  

The results of my actions got me here, and I don't necessarily view where I am at as a negative thing.  Had I not contracted HIV, maybe I wouldn't have placed the value of living each day so vibrantly.  I think the real choices come after the diagnosis.  Do I live or die...meaning, do I try to embrace moderation or strive to burn so brightly that I do, indeed, burn out.  I was a wild buck, in my day, so maybe it is just luck that I made it this far.  

Do I think being HIV positive has added stress in my life?  Sure, but mostly that was early on.  I think you can hide behind your diagnosis and it eventually can eat you up.  Like I said earlier, you really make a choice to go on living.  The HIV medication can play with your testosterone level and make you more lethargic, etc.  Do I think that adds to a favorable condition for depression?  Sure, I do.  All in all, none of us have any guarantees on the length of time we are going to be here, so I say make the most of your living experience and respect the fact that you have a virus in your body.  Living through moderation is a real challenge for me still, since I do tend to bounce pretty high from time to time.  However, I have to make the decision to try my best to embrace it in order to survive.

The uncertainty of the disease, in itself, can be burdensome.  But I have to ask myself all of the time, am I more afraid of dying from this disease or am I more afraid of living with it.  I still have to be careful not to blame my HIV for most of the poor decisions I've made in my life.  That's total BS and a cop out.  The more you can address things truthfully in your life, the better your chances of living longer.  That my philosophy in a nutshell.  Don't suppress the darkness in your life, embrace it and it will pass through more quickly.  And for yourself, embrace the joy and simplicity in your life when it's visiting you.  The very nature of things make us roll from bad to good to bad and then back to good.

Sorry, if this seemed like a discombobulated rant, but I feel very much like I live through the process of trying to answer this question everyday of my life.  And for the most part, I find myself in a fun, playful space.

Thanks for the question (GSOgymrat), and I thank all of you who had the patience to read this response to the end.

Amosboy
"Love isn't love unless it's not painfully absurb."

-Charlotte Martin

Offline David_CA

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #14 on: December 22, 2006, 07:43:06 PM »
I think there are probably a lot of miserable people here, but more likely, there are even more that are not miserable.  We just don't normally post and tell how great a relationship is going, or how good a new job is, etc.  It's just human nature... people tend to bitch more than they talk about the good things.  I was noticing lately how positive and funny a lot of members are.  It makes the forums a lot more pleasant.

David
Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline marco23

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2006, 07:50:26 PM »
Bravo, David, bravo!!!
Isn't that why were here? To give support and understanding to everyone?...no matter how pissed off or depressed someone is. We're here with open arms............and a bitch slap every now and then.
Don't hide your hurt, pain and feelings inside..for they will harden your heart.

Offline Eldon

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2006, 09:51:57 PM »
Yes, I AM Supporting You

Hey GSO...

I am in 100% total agreement with you here on this topic. I am rubbing my face, scratching my head, and even thinking of taking a walk outside to breathe in the fresh air as I think about this topic.

With ALL of US, Yes, US, there are a number of different external and internal anxieties that EXIST as a REALITY within ALL of our lives in this life. By our experiencing these anxieties, it automatically triggers our thought processing which leads to other thoughts and different scenarios.

With some, there are other chemical influences that are involved including Alcohol, along with the recovery from the path of self-destructive behaviors. There are also a lot of inner fears in which are lying dormant or have been buried because the individual chooses not to address these issues of their reality as they chose to cope with it other ways.

It truly is a challenge to address such of an issue as the individual needs to take the responsibility for his/herself for their own actions. In short, they need to hold themselves accountable for their own actions. After ALL in this life, we make our own choices as to how we feel and how we think.

We are the programmers of our very own thoughts in our minds along with the gained experiences whether they were positive or negative. The majority of the time a number of CHOICES that are made are made based on our past experiences which created a development of inner fears that are hidden from the normal view to someone who is giving support for the individual.

In this case, misery does love to have company. It is a direct result of making up an excuse not to change or to address the issue. Some do like to be in this certain pool of obsessive thinking, self-destructive behavior, and everything else that goes along with it. It ALL boils down to CHOICE. You choose how you feel. No one can change how you fell but yourself.

When you take a look at yourself and find out what yourself is doing, there are a lot of things that may not look to best suit your "expectations" of yourself and some just do not want to DEAL with it. Instead they rather DWELL on it. When a person DWELL"S, it tends to lead them into Chronic Depression. This is a proven element with the nature of our Human existence.

Now, there is nothing wrong with a person wanting to be by themselves and to spend time alone with themselves. During this time, they are processing the information or events or experiences in their lives in order to...Yes, understand what is going on in their lives. Often with the positive steps taken to Accept the situation, then understand the situation, then to communicate the situation often HELPS the individual to...get out of the pit of quicksand that they are in.

In this case if they wiggle to hard or too much, there is a possibility of suffocation of their emotions. When a person is in this state-of-mind, it often takes time for them to recover with slow and steady steps. Often, it does take another to be in their lives in order to support them in any way that they can in order to get out of the pit of quicksand.

One of the more effective ways of HELPING a person is their WILLINGNESS to communicate and to be open and to share what is going on inside of them. No one is a mind reader. It takes for that individual to open up from within and express themselves and to be open for advice and direction rather than getting defensive with the situation. When a person is on the defense for their own attitudes that they have chosen, then there is nothing that you can really do until that individual ACCEPTS that there is a problem and to be willing to have someone help them get through what they are going through.

Often, quite often, it IS a PAINFUL experience that an individual experiences while these changes are taking place in their lives. Some do not want to DEAL with the pain, therefore they go in to a different phase of allowing their inner fears to take control of their lives. When a person allows this, this is when they in a sense loose control. It is up to the individual not to ALLOW these fears to take over them in this life.

We are our safe place, we are our safe person and it is we whom control and program our minds with thoughts. Just as it was programmed it can be reprogrammed. Often during he reprogramming process, the individual is processing the information that is given in order to arrive to a certain result of understanding. When an understanding or realization takes place within the person, then this is where PROGRESS is made with the individual and they are well on there way to the road of their recovery.

In some cases it is necessary for the individual to be medicated in order to HELP them as they cope to recover from the Depression. The key here is that the individual must be WILLLING to change. If they are, there are so many positive that will come out of the situation through the process of change. If they can get over the resistance to change then they will experience the other emotions that are buried deep within them.

I did not mean to turn this into a book. However, when you are delivering a message, you do not want to leave any of the details out of it. Do You? No. If you do, then how will the person get the message in order to gain an understanding? The fact is, it is all by choice of the individual. They choose how they wish to feel. It is unfortunate, however it is true. We all tend to get blue sometimes but it does pass just as the storms do out at sea.

In this situation, the question would be, What can be done in order to HELP them? in what way can an understanding take place with the individual without justifying it? Justification is just another way to say it is OK to be that way when there is something better.

Very good topic of discussion. I just pray that an individual in this situation takes a good look at themselves and see that there is more to life within them.

Thanks for sharing.

Enjoy your Holiday Season.

"Don't You Dare Give Up, Don't You Dare Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"
« Last Edit: December 22, 2006, 09:59:29 PM by Eldon »

Offline Iggy

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #17 on: December 22, 2006, 10:51:42 PM »
.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2007, 11:52:59 PM by Iggy »

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #18 on: December 22, 2006, 10:59:16 PM »
and so it begins....


UPDATED TO SAY:  I think GSO was posing some legitimate and poignant questions of us all here based on some overall observations.

I do not think that asking him to now start identifying posts (and thus people) in a singular fashion is going to propel this thread in any beneficial way.  I think that attempting to force this into happening is instead only going to prove to be a good way to spread (dare I say it?)  misery.
« Last Edit: December 22, 2006, 11:04:34 PM by thunter34 »
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Eldon

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #19 on: December 22, 2006, 11:13:29 PM »
Yes, I AM Supporting You

Hey Tim...

I do not believe that he is singling anyone out with this. Its an overall general observation. Agreed Tim.


Enjoy your Holiday Season.

"Don't You Dare Give Up, Don't You Dare Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #20 on: December 22, 2006, 11:15:24 PM »
Thanks for backing me up on that, Eldon.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline cubbybear

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #21 on: December 22, 2006, 11:18:10 PM »
I agree too Tim, it's just a general observation, that's all I took it for, and I happen to agree with Ford.  I choose which posts to read based on who starts them and what their topic is. 

Someday's I just don't want anyone pulling me down, somedays I have enough to give, to read the more sombre posts and try and give someone a boost or show some compassion.
« Last Edit: December 22, 2006, 11:24:30 PM by cubbybear »
There's a bear in there!
Positive since 2000
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Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #22 on: December 22, 2006, 11:25:12 PM »
I really do wanna give kudos to GSO for this thread.  Depression seems to go hand and hand with so many ailments- not just HIV.  I know it to be gospel for me personally.  And I am not one at all that believes we have to be shiny, happy people 24/7/365.  I don't even believe that is possible, really.  Sometimes life simply hands you a big, fat bucket of shit...and it makes perfect sense for your emotions to respond accordingly.  I've just also noticed that there are a few around for which unhappiness and anger seem to be the guiding forces in their lives.  Hey, that has been ME plenty of times in the past.  I think trying to figure out how that kind of spiritual infection takes hold of (and sometimes takes over) our lives is a subject worth addressing.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #23 on: December 22, 2006, 11:32:08 PM »
GSO

I find the word miserable an interesting choice to use, one which you have done several times in your original post so I assume you very much meant that.

I'm curious, and I do ask this question bluntly, am I one that you consider to be miserable?  If so, I would like an example of a post I made that gave you such insight into my state of being.

If you do not have me in mind, I still request an example of what you mean by a post illustrating that a person is miserable.

I'll save my reply until you are kind enough to respond.



Honestly, I wasn't thinking of any particular person or post when I started this thread and I'm not going to make an example out of anyone here. Reading over the various forums it's apparent there are a lot of unhappy or irritable people on here. There are also a lot of very upbeat, funny and caring people on here too. If you don't see it that way, then we just disagree. I assure you I was not talking about you or any other particular member.

Offline Eldon

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #24 on: December 22, 2006, 11:35:51 PM »
Yes, I AM Supporting You

Hey Tim...

There you have it above. Confirmation from the author. This does not leave anyone guessing.

Enjoy your Holiday Season and Thank you for sharing.

"Don't You Dare Give Up, Don't You Dare Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #25 on: December 22, 2006, 11:38:37 PM »
Good to have it all official like, but GSO's intentions were never in question here for me personally.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Eldon

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #26 on: December 22, 2006, 11:40:20 PM »
Yes, I AM Supporting You

Hey Tim...

DITTO!

Enjoy your Holiday Season and Thank you for sharing.

"Don't You Dare Give Up, Don't You Dare Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"

Offline ademas

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #27 on: December 22, 2006, 11:57:46 PM »
Reading over the various forums it's apparent there are a lot of unhappy or irritable people on here. There are also a lot of very upbeat, funny and caring people on here too.

Unhappy or irritable one day; upbeat, funny and caring the next; somewhere in-between most-of-the-time. 
I think most people here express emotions that run the gamut over a period of time.

Offline Iggy

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #28 on: December 23, 2006, 12:04:00 AM »
.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2007, 11:52:30 PM by Iggy »

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #29 on: December 23, 2006, 12:16:27 AM »
Well, one rather obvious differentiation is that people who are upbeat for no apparent reason generally seem to spread that feeling of good will to everyone else, whereas people who appear angry and 'miserable' for no apparent reason end up spreading the opposite.

I recognize validity in people being in different places (see my above post about the big bucket of shit), but I think GSO was addressing a behavior that I've witnessed on here fairly frequently:  people using inflammatory language (and making initial posts even) that read as though their primary intent is to start an argument or simply create an opportunity to insult people or take whatever personal happiness they may have away from them.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #30 on: December 23, 2006, 01:05:59 AM »
Compared to other non-hiv online forums I've participated in my opinion a higher percentage of people on AidsMeds forums appear to be depressed and irritable, and that is excluding the recently diagnosed and the currently ill. There are people on here who talk freely about how lonely they are, how life is unfulfilling, etc. There are other people on here who appear to be antagonistic most of the time. I'm not saying people shouldn't be posting what they are feeling. What I'm saying is that I've not participated in a forum where there have been so many people who are so obviously unhappy. I'm not sure what role HIV plays in this but I'm curious.

Frankly, I tend to not talk about how I'm feeling on here because no one really wants to hear about my good mood. My reality is I'm a happy guy, not bubbly happy but very content. I don't think I've ever been truly depressed, even when my partner and I tested HIV+. It takes a lot to make me angry and when I get angry it doesn't last. It worries me a little though that HIV or the meds might slowly alter my neurochemistry and make me moody. Were a lot of people on here depressed before they were HIV+ or did people get HIV and become depressed?

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #31 on: December 23, 2006, 01:22:57 AM »
I was tangled up in blue long before HIV, and I believe that is a large contributing factor to why I ended up poz.  I used vice of all kinds to stave off feelings of depression, to self-medicate through substance and behavior.  Better living through chemistry, one might say was the intent.  The fact for me is that I have become more responsible in my behavior SINCE diagnosis in many ways.  As I said above, I think my behavior was indicative of an indifference toward being alive that I had at the time.  HIV was God's/Life's/Fate's way of calling my bluff...

                        "You really don't care if you're alive, huh?  You quite sure about that?"


I also understand your worry about possible disruption of neurochemistry here.  I've also wondered that same thing, especially when I consider it in reference to the 'AIDS Dementia' condition I have heard so much of.  I wondered that, if the meds have difficulty crossing the blood/brain barrier, doesn't that lead to a possible high build up of virus in the brain over time?  What kind of effect might that have?  If it may result in 'dementia', could it not also effect the portions of the brain that help regulate mood?  And even if not much of the meds cross into the brain...we still gulp 'em down every single day, so there would be some cumulative effect over time.  As many weird side effects as these chemicals present otherwise, it doesn't seem that great of a stretch of the imagination that they may also lead to such conditions in the mind.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #32 on: December 23, 2006, 02:25:56 AM »


    I resent this thread...  I am only miserable when I want to be!!  GSO are you seeing my ex wife?  Tell her to quit telling you about me!  Damn that b*tch won't leave me alone!
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline tcellsnaction

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #33 on: December 23, 2006, 05:09:58 AM »
Thank you for say what I have been feeling but afraid to say as someone new to the forums......but am I really since I have been "listening for over a year"...

Happy Holidays!

R ;)
Live With Passion!

Wherever you feel most comfortable, this is your home....
Whoever shows you greatest love and kindness, these are your family....

Offline DanielMark

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #34 on: December 23, 2006, 06:09:06 AM »
Thank you GSO, for starting this thread.

Anger I know well. I lived in it most of my formative years, and once out of my parental home, I found reasons not to deal with that except by turning it on myself with destructive unhealthy choices and bad relationships. When we know better, we do better.

It’s easy (and lazy) to go through life dumping and complaining. (Sounds rather like what babes in diapers do doesn’t it.) I find some people enjoy magnifying their miseries, usually people who need to do the work of growing up and finding a realistic perspective on life. If they don’t want to, that’s their choice, and mine is not to get pulled into it. Misery may love company, but count me out thanks.

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. EVERYONE, Poz or not has genuine problems. Being HIV positive is not license to dump those on others. When people try to do that in my life, I simply scoff and get on with it. It’s a conscious decision I made years ago. I'm more than willing to lend support to people who are really trying to solve problems, but not to chronic complainers.

Then there are people who simply don’t see (or care) that how they behave impacts others, even on the Internet. They’ll suck the very life out of you if you let them, and I don’t let them.

A person’s health, state of mind, and cognitive function isn’t helped by continued drinking or drugging either. Alcohol is a drug – a depressive drug.  If I’d not got clean and sober just prior to my diagnosis, I would not be alive today. No question.

Daniel
« Last Edit: December 23, 2006, 06:16:25 AM by DanielMark »
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Offline alisenjafi

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #35 on: December 23, 2006, 07:02:41 AM »
Quote
But there are so many people on here who just appear angry and miserable for no good reason
be careful of judging people from what you extrapolate from an internet site. It would be like saying that it appears all gay guys have 9 inches and are hotter than porn stars  from reading a gay  site.
For many this is the only outlet for to bitch on subjects that they otherwise can't.
How many people here can bring up Ryan White cuts or Atripla side effects with the neighbors? While you might get an inkling of what someone is like to broad brush someone 's personality because of how you perceive them coming off in a forum would be crazy, if not a tad bit judgmental. Also try and think how long the person had been bottling up on something so it comes off even more severe. 
Then again maybe we are all just Leonard Cohen fans!
Love and rockets
Johnny
 Well My spell check is still not working so you can blame it on that  :)
« Last Edit: December 23, 2006, 07:13:32 AM by alisenjafi »
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I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"
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Offline blondbeauty

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #36 on: December 23, 2006, 07:25:16 AM »
I must be one of those shallow people here. I am blonde, I am a flight attendant, I am beautiful...Fortunately I have never felt miserable for having HIV. I felt terrified and frightened at the beginning. Once I was able to overcome those feelings (specially after starting meds) I felt as Happy as before being diagnosed. I never felt anger for the person from whom I contracted HIV, and never felt ashamed. In fact I told all my friends and even my employer.
I haven´t told my family because I think it would be selfish to bother them and worry them just to receive some support from them.
I have always gone alone to the hospital, arranged all the paperwork for the social security on my own without knowing were to start, etc.
Miserable, shallow and depressed people people in these forums have given me the strengh I needed to do all this. People in these forums might not be rich, famous or hollywood stars, but they are all heroes for me.
And I am still blonde, beautiful and happy!
« Last Edit: December 23, 2006, 07:30:47 AM by blondbeauty »
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
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Offline alisenjafi

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #37 on: December 23, 2006, 08:33:41 AM »
Look what you've done- now I am stuck listening to Smith cd's Ughh!
Johnny
Anyone else listen to Warsaw?
"You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"
The Smiths

Offline Iggy

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #38 on: December 23, 2006, 10:13:39 AM »
.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2007, 11:51:59 PM by Iggy »

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #39 on: December 23, 2006, 10:38:53 AM »
I must really be missing it then- because I just still don't see any such grand and sweeping erroneous and hurtful statements being made in this thread.  It just seems like sentences are being picked apart word by word and words letter by letter to make mountains out of mole hills. 

Good grief.  Nobody expects anybody to be happy all the time or to not share about very real issues.  Iggy, I mean no offense at all, but it still reads to me like you are reading far, far too much into this.  Almost like you are actively trying to take something personally that isn't, and redirect this thread in a direction it was not intented to go.  It seems crystal clear to me that it was primarily intended to ask:

1.  What is your personal take on how (if at all) depression has effected you in terms of HIV pre or post diagnosis?

and

2.  Do you think there might also be neurological consequences of HIV and/or meds that are as yet not being properly addressed?

Sometimes (though not always) depression can result in people demonstrating behaviors of being angry/irritable/antagonistic.  I've heard that posited many places before here.  Let's have it out right now so we can move on from this that is apparently a great sticking point for you:  Is there anyone here who has somehow forgotten that this is a site for people affected by HIV?  Is there anyone here who does not feel that this site should be a place where people can voice serious issues of a personal nature?  Anyone?


UPDATED TO SAY:  Sometimes people just make a statement in an off-handed way.  Not every statement merits being pulled up under a microscope.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2006, 10:51:37 AM by thunter34 »
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Offline swede_dish

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« Reply #40 on: December 23, 2006, 10:54:32 AM »
"While not judging either group and  accepting that there is crossover, it is apparent that the latter group is by nature more, shall we say, sociable and subsequently less apt to fully appreciate the motivations and reasons behind the seriousness and somber nature of the former group." - Iggy.

The reason I am part of the latter group is because I don't want to make HIV my only focus in life. I have made many friends on here and I like hearing about their lives (HIV  or not). Me and my collegues in the "latter"  group also live with the same things our more serious brothers and sisters do.  I do appreciate their motivations and I am glad they are here to help keep the balance in the forums. However, it's nice to come in here and be able to talk to someone about life without being treated like I'm going to break. I can still talk about HIV but it doesn't have to be the main focus like it seems to be with family or friends who know my status.  I enjoy the good company and advice. Upbeat or not.

Just my two cents.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #41 on: December 23, 2006, 11:03:07 AM »
Hear, hear!
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #42 on: December 23, 2006, 11:06:39 AM »
dish, that is the way I am. I never sat around and always discussed being gay. I was open about it, but it was nothing really to talk about. I've always had more straight friends then gay friends. When I tested positive, it wasn't something that I always sit and talked about. There are to many other things going on with my life besides being advance HIV positive. Hell, I don't like to hear someone harp on all their ailments nor do I think they would want to hear me harping on mine. This is only a small part of my life, not my whole life.

Offline swede_dish

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #43 on: December 23, 2006, 11:15:59 AM »
Exactly Rapid....
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #44 on: December 23, 2006, 11:23:44 AM »
And 'serious and somber' is one thing.  Irritable and antagonistic is another.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline DanielMark

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #45 on: December 23, 2006, 01:08:59 PM »
I agree with Swede Dish and Rapid Rod, in that HIV is not the main focus of my existence. If I let it be, I would feel depressed and cranky too.

Granted, when someone is having trouble dealing with something, it's good if others can empathize, but not to the point of feeding self-pity. That's a sure path to needless misery on top of pain. Again, it solves nothing, and I won't allow anyone to drag me down just so they won't feel alone in their problems. I say, rise up and deal with the root causes and make the changes needed.

I have bad days too, but I certainly wouldn't take them out on people on the Internet. I don't know any self-respecting / other-respecting adult who would.

Daniel
MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

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DIAGNOSED IN 1988

Offline Iggy

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #46 on: December 23, 2006, 02:47:42 PM »
.

« Last Edit: January 09, 2007, 11:51:33 PM by Iggy »

Offline swede_dish

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #47 on: December 23, 2006, 02:48:16 PM »
I was just saying.
"I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me. "
-Bette Midler

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #48 on: December 23, 2006, 03:00:40 PM »
What?  Did we also say something erroneous and hurtful this go around?  Or were we vapidly missing the point yet again?
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #49 on: December 23, 2006, 03:03:17 PM »
Boys and girls you keep making Iggles point. I have to agree wow, just wow.

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #50 on: December 23, 2006, 03:06:40 PM »
Then please explain to me how.

To me, it seems this:

"While not judging either group and  accepting that there is crossover, it is apparent that the latter group is by nature more, shall we say, sociable and subsequently less apt to fully appreciate the motivations and reasons behind the seriousness and somber nature of the former group." - Iggy.

Is a pretty sweeping generalization on his part....same as he seems so adamant in saying of GSO.

I'm just not buying this whole 'erroneous and hurtful correlation' business.  Go ahead, D:  Sell me on it.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2006, 03:12:07 PM by thunter34 »
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Dachshund

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #51 on: December 23, 2006, 03:27:39 PM »
What's so funny to me about this whole post is how positive everyone professes to be, but how negative they all sound.

Mr. T. I am not here to try and sell you on anything...I will leave that to others. I find meaning in what Iggles says and if my point of view bothers anyone, so be it.

It is about 65 and sunny here today...I'm shutting down the computer and taking Sam to the park. I wish you were here to join me. ;)

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #52 on: December 23, 2006, 03:41:32 PM »
No, I'm not negative...I'm boggled.  Your point of view doesn't bother me...I'm baffled and frustrated that I am baffled.   I'm frustrated that I'm still not getting exactly where Iggy is coming from.  I'm trying to understand what I'm missing in this whole exchange, dagnabbit!

I've said time and again on this thread that I GET IT that some people have personal HIV related concerns, and I GET IT that this can prevent them from writing shiny, happy posts.  What I'm not connecting with is the assertion that as part of the more 'sociable' bunch, I am missing out on fully appreciating this aspect of others.  I just keep feeling like this claim and the whole 'erroneous and hurtful correlation' business are being pushed unnecessarily to steer this thread away from its original intent into something it isn't.  To put it bluntly, it seems like Iggy is dead set on (and having some success with) making this thread more about him than keeping it focused on the original questions it was posing.  I stated what I thought those two primary questions were (and I hope GSO will step in and correct me if I am wrong about them).  I think this other 'correlation' business needs to just be started in Iggy's own little thread to let it hash out there.  If I am missing the point, I wish I could figure out precisely how!  I feel stupid for not seeing it...

We do agree on one thing for sure:  It is too damn sunny for me to be sitting here puzzling over this stupid computer!  And I wish I was there with you and Sam, too....at least until the rest of my family shows up for our X-Mas hoedown here in a couple of hours.  Then you can all kiss my ass...I'm eatin' !!
« Last Edit: December 23, 2006, 03:44:14 PM by thunter34 »
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Longislander

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #53 on: December 23, 2006, 03:57:07 PM »
T- Who gets to tie the Ho down this year???! ;)
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #54 on: December 23, 2006, 04:07:40 PM »
Alright, now!   >:(


Just kidding.   ;D
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #55 on: December 23, 2006, 04:10:08 PM »
GSO,

I think it is a good point you made and I will leave it at that. Speaking for myself, I really don't know if I suffer from depression so I can not speak on it really. I'm usually pretty upbeat about things. When I do see myself getting in a funk about my health, I try to look at what others have on their plate. Is it wrong to think that way? Seeing what others are going through puts things in perspective for me. I'm usually more down when I think about the people who have passed that meant a lot to me. I'm also down when it comes to having to struggle to pay bills or other things but I try to get over that by saying atleast I paid the bills even though it leaves me broke every month.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

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Offline Longislander

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #56 on: December 23, 2006, 04:27:22 PM »
Quote
Alright, now!   


Just kidding.   



So was I ;)             :-\

Enjoy the family time.
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline fearless

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #57 on: December 23, 2006, 04:43:10 PM »
Hey GSO,

Good question.
I took the slow 'suicide' root like Thunter, I just didn't care if I lived, and engaged in all sorts of whacky behaviours. Thunter explained in better, but that was a mirror image of me and a fair few of my mates too. Have you been accessing my brain, Thunter? I really need to get that chip in the back of my head removed.

Interesting, how I've tended to associate with people of the same ilk. All my mates are all at different parts of our journey's, some still bitter and angry, some neg, some poz, most generally happy and optimistic, some still manic and on a fast train to nowhere.

Depression though, is not my ill, anxiety is my nemisis. It's only since my diagnosis that I've become aware of it, but now I realise it's been there all my life and has taken over and stopped my truly living, many a time in my life. Now that I'm aware of it and dealing with it, I'm a much better person for it. Rather than becoming paralyzed worrying about what may or may not be in the future (HIV related or not), I try and focus on the now, and just live in the present. I'd never walked into a gym in my life 3 years ago, now I go three times a week and am fitter than I've ever been. I've signed up for a 1 mile open ocean swim, something I've always dreamt of and put off. I changed my diet from junk food to well balanced and healthy. I do things I've always thought of but couldn't be arsed doing. If noone wants to do it with me, I go alone - football, swimming, snorkelling, holidays. I rarely take drugs, not because I don't like them, but rather I don't feel I need them. The same goes for whoring my arse around sex clubs, and a whole raft of negative behaviours that I thrived on.

So to answer your 2nd question - I guess my mental health has improved since diagnosis as I've become aware of something that has plagued me most of my life.

All the best.

Stephen
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline thunter34

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #58 on: December 23, 2006, 04:48:41 PM »
Stephen,

No, I haven't been accessing your brain...though I wouldn't mind accessing the men in your avatar.

Tim
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline fearless

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #59 on: December 23, 2006, 04:54:19 PM »
I'm hoping I already have ;D, and do again ;D
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Alain

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #60 on: December 23, 2006, 04:57:32 PM »
Gso, I was reading this article today from The Canadian Aids Information Exchange.   www.catie.ca

A biological link between HIV and depression.

In general, the difficulties of coping with a long-term illness are enough to challenge anyone's life. In the case of HIV, there are also many other issues, including stigma. This issue can cause social isolation and denies people with HIV/AIDS (PHAs) the everyday support and comfort that they might otherwise get from friends, family and community. This is usually not the case with the disclosure of other health conditions.

In addition to stigma, PHAs face the demands of coping with a complex health condition. Regular visits to doctors, specialists and laboratories are a part of everyday life. Dealing with medical needs—such as drug-related side effects and decisions about starting, switching and interrupting therapy—can be a great source of stress.

This list of possible stressors only begins to outline some of the challenges faced by PHAs. Perhaps it is not surprising that several studies have reported relatively high rates of depression among PHAs. Exactly why this occurs is not clear, but there are several theories. For instance, according to one team of neuroscientists, there may be several possible reasons as follows:

•   Depression may be a problem that occurred prior to HIV infection and may recur after a diagnosis of HIV/AIDS.

•   The stress of living with a life-threatening illness may be overwhelming.

•   Perhaps HIV infection somehow damages the brain, making it more vulnerable to depression.

To try to get a better understanding of this last point, neuroscientists at the University of California at San Diego and genetic researchers at Laval University in Quebec City have been studying the brains of PHAs. Specifically, they have been assessing the impact of HIV on genes in the brain cells of PHAs. According to their analysis, HIV infection stimulates some genes while suppressing the activity of others.

The genes that are affected include those that help make proteins to maintain the structure of brain cells. Other affected genes include those that make compounds—called neurotransmitters—needed by brain cells to signal each other. Lower-than-normal levels of neurotransmitters have been linked to anxiety and depression. The net effect of HIV infection on these genes is to trigger conditions within brain cells that make them more fragile and to lay the ground for the emergence of depression.

Study details
The study team has been conducting analyses of the genes affected by HIV for several years. For the present study, they obtained brain tissue at autopsy from 21 PHAs. Of these 21, five had no obvious HIV-related brain damage. In most cases, these PHAs had died from complications caused by pneumonia or bacterial infections of the blood. Seven of the 21 PHAs had a history of severe or long-lasting depression, while the 14 others did not. Comparing factors such as age, CD4+ cell count and viral load between PHAs with and without depression, researchers could not find any significant differences.

In general, within 12 hours of death, brain tissue as well as samples of the spinal cord were removed and preserved for analysis.

Results
Studying the activity of more than 12,000 genes that are in brain tissue, researchers found that HIV infection turned on some genes and suppressed the activity of others.

When the team compared the effect on genes that were suppressed in brain samples from people with severe or long-lasting depression, it found that the gene responsible for making the compound somatostatin was most significantly affected. Somatostatin is a small molecule produced by the brain and other parts of the body. It has many different functions. Within the brain, somatostatin can help send signals from one neuron to another.

The San Diego team also found that HIV appeared to turn off genes that helped make other compounds used by neurons to send signals to each other—neurotransmitters.

Another finding from this study was that HIV suppressed the activity of genes responsible for maintaining the physical structure of brain cells.

Bringing it all together
Theories that seek to explain the biological basis of severe or long-lasting depression suggest that neurons may either not produce enough neurotransmitters or are unable to get access to a sufficient quantity of these compounds. This situation over time leads to depression.

Increasing neurotransmitter levels within the brain underpins the theory supporting the use of antidepressants. The findings of the San Diego team outline one possibility—that in some PHAs HIV can suppress the activity of genes that are supposed to help make neurotransmitters. With reduced neurotransmitter levels, it is possible that depression is more likely to occur in HIV positive people.

As for weakening the structure of brain cells, this might explain one way that HIV infection leads to the damage and loss of brain tissue.

What's next?
These findings are novel and may pave the way for more research on the biology of HIV-related depression. Bear in mind that although the San Diego study was relatively complex and involved thousands of genes, it had a relatively small number of people, perhaps because of the difficulty of acquiring brain tissue.

Dr. Ian Everall, professor of Psychiatry at the University of California at San Diego, is a key researcher in the present study. For the future, he and his team plan to conduct more research on PHAs, particularly those who suffer from severe or long-lasting depression. The focus of his work would be to first confirm and extend his initial results. Secondly, he hopes to conduct laboratory studies with brain cells and HIV to try to find ways of ending HIV's potential to cause severe depression.

Pharmaceutical companies are trying to develop a new group of antidepressants that work, in part, by simulating the effect of somatostatin on brain cells.

If the findings from the San Diego team are confirmed and extended, they may partly explain the high rates of mental health issues among some PHAs. They may also strengthen the rationale for providing psychosocial support for PHAs and encourage doctors to be vigilant in assessing their patients with HIV/AIDS for depressive illness.

—Sean R. Hosein

REFERENCES:
1. Cruess DG, Evans DL, Repetto MJ, et al. Prevalence, diagnosis and pharmacological treatment of mood disorders in HIV disease. Biological Psychiatry 2003 August 1;54(3):307-16.
2. Masliah E, Roberts ES, Langford D, et al. Patterns of gene dysregulation in the frontal cortex of patients with HIV encephalitis. Journal of Neuroimmunology 2004 Dec;157(1-2):163-75.
3. Everall IP, Salaria S, Atkinson JH, et al. Diminished somatostatin gene expression in individuals with HIV and major depressive disorder. Diminished somatostatin gene expression in individuals with HIV and major depressive disorder. Neurology 2006 Nov 28;67(10):1867-9.
4. Chiang M-C, Dutton RA, Hayashi KM, et al. 3D pattern of brain atrophy in HIV/AIDS visualized using tensor-based morphometry. NeuroImage 2007 Jan 1;34(1):44-60.
5. Thompson PM, Dutton RA, Hayashi KM, et al. Thinning of the cerebral cortex visualized in HIV/AIDS reflects CD4+ T lymphocyte decline. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences USA 2005 Oct 25;102(43):15647-52.
6. Jones C and Power C. Regulation of neural cell survival by HIV-1 infection. Neurobiology of Disease 2006 Jan;21(1):1-17.
7. Yeung H, Krentz HB, Gill MJ and Power C. Neuropsychiatric disorders in HIV infection: impact of diagnosis on economic costs of care. AIDS 2006 Oct 24;20(16):2005-9.
8. Nath A and Sacktor N. Influence of highly active antiretroviral therapy on persistence of HIV in the central nervous system. Current Opinion in Neurology 2006 Aug;19(4):358-61.

Created on: 12/22/2006

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #61 on: December 23, 2006, 05:10:33 PM »
Wow.  Now I'm really bummed out.



(kidding)


Thanks, COW, for providing such an insightful post for this thread.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #62 on: December 23, 2006, 05:40:21 PM »
Thanks Cowandalehouse. That is good info!

Offline bear60

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #63 on: December 23, 2006, 06:06:12 PM »
Quote: Increasing neurotransmitter levels within the brain underpins the theory supporting the use of antidepressants.
Oh yea....anti depressants help a lot.  If one is clinically depressed there is no alternative. 
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline SASA39

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #64 on: April 19, 2007, 11:39:21 AM »
Maybe a new thread like a :
Connection beetwen Sustiva (HIV meds) , depression ,  suicide thoughts , AIDS dementia complex , and induced mood.
Or it is all the same basket ?
Oct.     `06.  CD4=58  ?    %       VL not perform. ?!?
25.Dec.`06.         203       14        VL= 0
29.May.`07.    broken device        VL=1363
20.June`07     broken device        VL=0
25.Dec `07  CD4=582                  VL=70
14.May `08  CD4=448
29.July `08                                  VL=0
26.Nov `08  CD4=674                    VL=179
16.Mar `09  CD4=554                    VL=0
19.Jan`10 CD4=715               
03.Mar`10                                    VL=0
24.Aug`10 CD4=524                     VL=0
04.Dec`10 CD4=626                     VL=0
15.Sep`11                                   VL=93
17.Nov`11                                   VL=0
05/26 .Jul`12 CD4=713                 VL=0
28.Nov`12 CD4=916                     VL=0
09.May`13                                 VL=0

Offline Buckmark

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #65 on: April 19, 2007, 01:25:27 PM »
But there are so many people on here who just appear angry and miserable for no good reason.

I think folks who are "miserable" and experiencing depression are more likely to post here
looking for help.  It might look very different if all the "happy" folks posted here with the
same regularity, but not a lot of folks post just to say "I'm feeling happy today."
Maybe that should happen more often.  Fundamentally, though, people come here
looking for help with problems

Also, people may appear miserable for no good reason.  But that doesn't necessarily
mean there isn't a good reason.  Often, when one is depressed, determining the real
reason can be very difficult.  For many, it may have nothing to do with HIV.  For others,
I think it does.  I think the stress of living with a chronic disease can certainly take its
toll on people's mental well-being in many ways.

Cow's posting is particularly interesting, as I would not have anticipated a physiological
connection between HIV and depression.

Regards,

Henry

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline antibody

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #66 on: April 19, 2007, 03:49:46 PM »
the entire human race is miserable, emotional, egotistical, megalomaniac, fragile fucked up beings not just people with HIV.
Timbuk      <50/ 794  CD4 10/06 
                 <50/ 1096 CD4 3/07
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Offline milker

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #67 on: April 19, 2007, 03:57:39 PM »
Yeah I felt guilty about being too happy on here. I've cut back on the open giggling. I just hope that people won't come back to me saying "aHA! Now you're not laughing anymore" and not help me when I have a difficult time.

Milker.
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

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Offline antibody

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #68 on: April 19, 2007, 04:50:29 PM »
i just feel grateful things could always be worse. isn't that the reason we watch springer and the real world and all those reality tv shows? so we can watch and feel better about our lives. like i love new york. this girl is a shank. i watch in disgust and feel i'm making the right choices in my life.
Timbuk      <50/ 794  CD4 10/06 
                 <50/ 1096 CD4 3/07
                 <40/ 1854 CD4 4/09

Started Atripla  7/14/06
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Offline Boo Radley

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #69 on: April 19, 2007, 04:52:00 PM »
miserable, emotional, egotistical, megalomaniac, fragile fucked up

How did you know what the Tarot reader told me (among other things)??

My psychiatrist uses more clinical terms but yours are easily understood by more people.  No one asks for depression and no one wills it or nurtures it or thrives on it.  It happens.  Like some types of high blood pressure physical depression is caused by biochemical anomalies which can sometimes be adjusted with manufactured biochemicals, reducing the amount and severity of one's depression (or other mental illness but depression seems most common).

I know firsthand bottled neurotransmitters alter my body's output and use of naturally secreted biochemicals, and the right med or combination eliminates or greatly mitigates the subjective symptoms I experience.  I posted the whole boring story recently, I think, so won't repeat it for another few weeks or months until I forget again.  A casual perusal of posts made by me shows a shocking rate of redundancy not seen here in a long time. 
String up every aristocrat!
Out with the priests and let them live on their fat!





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Offline antibody

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  • "every man thinks his burden is the heaviest"
Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #70 on: April 19, 2007, 05:04:06 PM »
i meant that in the best possible way of course.
Timbuk      <50/ 794  CD4 10/06 
                 <50/ 1096 CD4 3/07
                 <40/ 1854 CD4 4/09

Started Atripla  7/14/06
Switched to boosted Reyataz Truvada 3/28/07

*Ask me about Medical Marijuana and how it can help you!*

Offline dgr20002

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #71 on: April 19, 2007, 10:35:44 PM »
While I am reading this my female dog is trying to hump my leg. LOL  Aside from that I've had a wonderful week.

Me in DC

Offline milker

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Re: There are a lot of miserable people here
« Reply #72 on: April 19, 2007, 11:05:34 PM »
While I am reading this my female dog is trying to hump my leg. LOL  Aside from that I've had a wonderful week.

Me in DC
You have a trans dog?

Milker (who wonders if this qualifies as a hijack)
mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

Now accepting applications from blowjob ninjas™

 


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