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Author Topic: Advice Please  (Read 3840 times)

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Offline AusD

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Advice Please
« on: June 11, 2006, 06:43:46 PM »
To all the experts here...

Almost 2 months ago I had receptive anal intercourse with another man in na sauna (I was receptive partner). I made sure he used a condom both times (two different positions). However after the second time he started what I thought was frottage but then started to stick it in - as soon as I felt it I told him to take it out - but it had started to push in. HE did not climax in me, but I know HIv is also contained n pre-cum. I was very stupid I didn;t immediatley rush to go on PEP as I should have - but here is the additional factor.
At the time and afterwards I was using marjuana on a daily basis (I am a foolish self loathing little man), which was what (combined with a bout of depression) initiated my visit to the sauna. My anal area was havily lubed - would the chemicals in the lube possibly protect me from the precum if there was any?
Does marijuanause make a difference regarding chances of infection, effects on possible symptoms (I had diaherea, but that always happens when I am using it - i.e. does it change them or mask them), and whether it effects my window period for testing?
Generally what was the risk? I am so stupid - I shouldn't have gone to the sauna in the first place! I was so happy after my last negative result I promised not to take any risks. And yes I am aware I have to seek treatment regarding my depression and substance abuse issues.
Any information you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Many thanks,
AusDazz
PS I had a username some months ago but depsite many attempts I was unable to retreive it. This is why I have created this username - I have only had one post under that username in JAnuary this year. I apologise if I have breached the rules in creating this username.

Offline heartforyou

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Re: Advice Please
« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2006, 06:53:23 PM »
Hi AUS

Welcome to the forum.

We all like to have fun. Nothing bad about that
Insertive sex can be a risk, even if the person does not come inside of you. So, you need to be carefull, and the only way to find out if you are infected is to get tested
Marihuana certainly doesn't lower the risk of getting infected....

However, before jumping to conclusionsI would strongly suggest to read the lesson section.
You will find usefull information there.

Hermie

Make sure the next time you have sex you are in control.
Diagnosed in 1987 and still kicking
Viread, Kivexa (Epzicom),Viramune once daily

Happiness is the freedom of breathing fresh air every day.

Offline AusD

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Advice Please
« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2006, 07:16:50 PM »
Sorry among my many spelling mistakes I did not get my message across properly.

Both times the sex was protected. After the protected sex he surprised me by sticking it in (I thought he was going to dry hump me to use a crude word for it) without a condom. It only had started to push on before I made it clear it was to be withdrawn, which he did do. Is there any chance that that lessens the risk at all. As stated earlier my anus was covered heavily in lube. I did not have any cuts or brusies around my anus at the time and the sex I had had was not painful so it did not feel like anyhting was torn or brusied inside.

I know I will have to have a test to be 100% sure but any information about how high the risk was in this situation would be greatly, greatly appreciated.

Many thanks,
AusDazz

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Advice Please
« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2006, 07:51:43 PM »
Dazz,

From what you describe (the briefest of penetration without a condom) I would fully expect you to test negative. However, it would probably be a good idea to test as hiv is nothing to guess about. You should be having regular, routine sexual health care check ups anyway, including but not limited to hiv testing. There are other STIs out there that are much, much more easily transmitted than hiv.

Marijuana will not affect your tests, nor will it affect your window period or symptoms. By the way, symptoms or the lack of symptoms will never tell you a thing about your hiv status. The ONLY way to know your hiv status is through the appropriate test at the appropriate time.

Test for peace of mind, but I would expect you to test negative. Keep using those condoms and remain vigilant against men who would enter you unprotected.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline AusD

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Advice Please
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2006, 02:26:40 AM »
Ann,

Thank you for your answer.

Another additional point - if I was "open" in some way around or inside my anus area (ie a cut or a tear caused by the previous protected sex) would blood perhaps be visible on the insertive partners penis (there did not seem to b e any when he withdrew)? I know I am clutching at straws by asking these additional questions, but I am in a state of high anxiety. Would I have felt a stinging sensation in or around the area if there was?

It is hard to be vigilant. I watched this person like a hawk to make sure they were putting on a condom (and they didn't need to be asked to - he did so once it was clear I was interested in that sexual act) both times (although in moments of panic when I remember the encounter I sometimes can't be clear whether the I did so the second time - but I know I would not have let him in unless I was sure it was covered) and it came as a complete surprise that he shoved it in a third time without protection. He was about to say something when I asked him to take it out, but I cut him off when I insisted he take it out - in my darker fantasies I think he was going to say "but I already did it to you like this". *Sigh* Its my fault for not being assertive , but when he behaved safely without asking, I assumed he would go on behaving safely.

Anyway the last sentence and observation is fodder for a mental health professional rather then here, but the question about blood visibility and stinging still stands, ie would I see/feel those things?

Many thanks,
AusDazz
« Last Edit: June 12, 2006, 03:47:41 AM by AusD »

Offline Ann

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Re: Advice Please
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2006, 07:03:41 AM »
Dazz,

Everyone is different and I have no way of knowing if you would have felt anything had you been slightly damaged inside.

The lining of the anus/rectum is delicate and therefore very prone to damage - that is the reason why unprotected receptive anal intercourse is at the top of the risk list. You may have been protected against damage through the use of copious amounts of lube - and this is one of the reasons it's always a good idea to use plenty of lube for anal. Lube also protects the condom from damage.

However, hiv remains a fragile, difficult to transmit virus. Considering this unprotected insertion was very brief, I do expect you to test negative, but you should test all the same. As I said before, hiv is nothing to guess about.

While frottage itself carries no hiv risk, you have discovered a very real danger present with frottage - it can be all to easy to briefly slip the penis inside during frottage, especially when the area is well-lubed. This practice is known as "dipping" and it is suspected that dipping is an under-reported cause of hiv transmission.

All things considered, I would expect you to test negative. A test at the six week point would be an excellent indication of your status as the vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being 22 days. Remember to get a full sexual health care check up, because there are plenty of other STIs out there that are much much easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Advice Please
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2006, 09:18:51 AM »
<<This practice is known as "dipping" and it is suspected that dipping is an under-reported cause of hiv transmission. >>

It is also, I strongly suspect, the cause for many transmissions attributed to receptive fellatio, when the patient insists that s/he was "always" safe in regards to anal and vaginal sex. Pre-ejaculatory fluid can contain more virus than semen, in the right circumstances.

In the heat of the moment, it is easy to forget what is safe and what is not. Any time there is penile penetration, there is a risk of HIV infection. That penetration might not even be noticed if there is enough foreplay and lubrication (or intoxication). That's why it's vital to insist on latex condoms from the beginning of sexual activity, to prevent frottage from turning into unprotected sex.

The risk is undeniably MUCH lower for the incident described here than, say, full-on unprotected sex with or without ejaculation. But I venture to say it is not zero, and only an HIV test at the appropriate time will provide closure.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline AusD

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Advice Please
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2006, 03:06:46 AM »
Dear All,

Thank you for your advice. The 6 week mark will be this week - I am going to get tested hopefully (have to make the booking) this Thursday. My fingers are crossed and I am praying fervently (I always become more religious at times like this - hopefully the deity indulges my admittedly rather selfish calls for help). I will keep you posted.

Kind regards,
AusDazz

Offline AusD

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Advice Please
« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2006, 05:57:43 AM »
Dear All,
I got tested a little over a week ago and a few days ago got a negative result for everthing. I was tested at exactly the six week mark and the adviser told me that there was no reason at all to get restested at 13 weeks, even for peace of mind. What generation test is this certain - I was tested at the Parramatta sexual health clinic in sydney australia.

Anyway thanks for all the calm and measured advice.

Kind regards,
AusDazz

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Advice Please
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2006, 06:23:30 AM »
Dazz,

I have no idea what generation test is being used at the clinic you attended - you'd have to ask them yourself. As the counselor told you that you don't need to test again, it was probably a 4th generation test, which is very reliable at the six week mark.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks and the 4th generation tests are very sensitive and will pick this up.

You really only needed to test for peace of mind in the first place so it is entirely up to you whether or not you want to test again at the end of the official three month window period.

If you do test again, I fully expect you to receive another negative result.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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