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Author Topic: HIV and frightened to have kids.  (Read 2454 times)

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Offline pozgroup

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HIV and frightened to have kids.
« on: December 18, 2006, 03:56:06 AM »
I found out i was HIV positive about 2 month ago when i finally found the person i wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

It felt like my life was over and instantly we both felt that the decision to have kids together was taken out of our hands for the fear that i could pass it on to my child.

I really want to give my my another half his own child.

Can anyone give me some advice?
http://www.pozgroup.com--Living with STD, but not lonely!

Offline suzieque

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  • Posts: 61
Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2006, 04:01:43 AM »

    Hi,
      I know several positive people who have safely had children, my doc says that it is quite normal now if precautions are taken. Are you male or female?
          Best wishes

Offline pozgroup

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2006, 04:05:52 AM »
Thanks. I'm F. How to take precautions?
http://www.pozgroup.com--Living with STD, but not lonely!

Offline suzieque

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2006, 04:08:32 AM »

   Hi again,
         You will need to talk to your doctor about this in detail. Are you taking meds? Is your partner positive too? What is your current state of health?
               Best

Offline suzieque

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  • Posts: 61
Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2006, 04:16:54 AM »

    There is a news article on this site about this, I will try to give you the link, if it doesn't work just go to news and look for the article, it is titled something like natural conception potentially safe for mixed status couples. I am also female and I have a daughter, although I had her before I became positive I have given this issue lots of thought. I would say that having children is definitely still an option for you, you just need to be as well informed as possible about it.
               All the best :)
 
         http://www.aidsmeds.com/news/am20061107a.html

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2006, 06:31:09 AM »
Life is meant to be lived.  I understand the fear but take the chance.  I am no expert, but i have been hearing very good things about new borns and HIV.  Do a web search and get the facts.  Check with a HIV health expert and look in your own hearts and you will find your path.  Funny, there was a case of a child born with HIV was gone from his system at age 8.  I do not know if that is the norm but I like the story.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2006, 07:52:39 AM »
Things have evolved in a very good way as far as being able to have a healthy, HIV negative baby when either or both parents are HIV+. Along with discussing the issues with your doctor(s), you may find some helpful information here:

http://www.i-base.info/guides/pregnancy/index.html

Keep us posted on how it's going.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

Offline Salteen

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  • Posts: 35
Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2006, 08:52:03 AM »
I definitely understand what you are going through.  I just got married in July and that is something that has crossed my mind a lot.  There are a lot of advances and it seems like it is very well possible to have a negative baby, but there is still that fear. 

Offline Coffeechick88

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2006, 10:31:39 AM »
When I was first diagnosed, I had that fear.  I even came close to letting my gyno at the time tie my tubes (it was weird at how much he was in favour of me being sterilized).  I did my research and found out that my goodness, there have been many medical advances that really make it unlikely for it to happen (the risk is never zero, though).  I cancelled the surgery.  I have no desire to have kids at the moment, but I now feel comfortable to keep that option open.  Any HIV positive woman with the proper access to medical care has a great chance of having an HIV negative baby.  Measures would include:  getting your viral load to undetectable and making sure you are on a regimine that is compatible with pregnancy, getting an OB doctor that has experience in HIV positive women--just because they are a doctor doesn't mean they know squat about HIV (case in point--in the small town I work at I have not had one doctor that I have seen who has even heard of my medicines-Truvada, Reyataz, and Norvir), not breastfeeding, treating the baby prophylactically (I cannot remember the details of how long, etc, but probably in the links the others have provided).  As for delivery, a C-section is a safe bet, but vaginal birth can also be done--they give the mother an IV of antiretroviral--the name is on the tip of my tongue, I cannot remember it at the moment.  The others have provided good links.

But this is a choice that must be something you are comfortable with.  Just talk with your partner, do research, think long and hard about how comfortable you are with this--some women are some just find they can't--don't do what I almost did and rush into anything and assume you must never had children. 
« Last Edit: December 18, 2006, 10:33:16 AM by Coffeechick88 »
Lucas James is here
Born 6-14-08 at 1233 am
8 lbs 14 oz, 22 in long

Offline ACinKC

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #9 on: December 18, 2006, 11:27:42 AM »
My new wife and I find ourselves in this very position.  It can be done.  As all things in life it carries a risk.  With the right regimens and adherence risk can be as low as 2%.

Good luck to you.
LIFE is not a race to the grave with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well-preserved body, but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming--WOW! WHAT A
RIDE!!!

Offline tryingforhope

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #10 on: December 18, 2006, 12:40:33 PM »
I am currently pregnant and positive. I found out while I was pregnant. At least in my state I am well cared for with a nurse that visits my house once a month and an id specialist that is very knowledgeable about pregnancy and HIV.

Offline pozgroup

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #11 on: December 18, 2006, 10:20:03 PM »
Life is meant to be lived.  I understand the fear but take the chance.  I am no expert, but i have been hearing very good things about new borns and HIV.  Do a web search and get the facts.  Check with a HIV health expert and look in your own hearts and you will find your path.  Funny, there was a case of a child born with HIV was gone from his system at age 8.  I do not know if that is the norm but I like the story.

Thanks for your understanding red_Dragon888. May I know more of the story?
http://www.pozgroup.com--Living with STD, but not lonely!

Offline Eldon

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #12 on: December 18, 2006, 10:41:49 PM »
Hi Pozgroup...

I just wanted to chime in and wish you the BEST in this situation that you are faced with. Please do keep us posted. Indeed there are a number of variables that are involved with this. However, there is available information from research on this very topic.


"Don't Give Up, Don't Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"

Offline pozgroup

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #13 on: December 25, 2006, 01:07:29 AM »
I do want to consult a specialist, but I live in a very small town and such expert is not available.
http://www.pozgroup.com--Living with STD, but not lonely!

Offline pozgroup

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #14 on: December 25, 2006, 01:08:19 AM »
I forgot to say Merry Christmas to you all! :)
http://www.pozgroup.com--Living with STD, but not lonely!

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #15 on: December 25, 2006, 02:27:14 AM »
The story has to do with a gay couple in Flordia wanting to adapt a child.  The problem was that Flordia does not allow gays to adopt children.  One of the children the gay couple rasied was HIV poz until age 8.  It was a news story some weeks back and the gay adaption and the HIV poz child suddenly becoming HIV neg caught my attention.  I will try later to find the story.  I know it was one of the big networks like ABC, NBC or CBS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline chilli

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #16 on: December 26, 2006, 02:03:20 AM »
I am hiv positive and so is my baby's father. I knew i was positive before i got pregnant but really wanted a baby. My numbers were good but i was not on meds. I saw my ob doc as early as six weeks and made him aware of my status. My ID doc started me on meds (combivir and viracept) when i was 20weeks pregnant and my vl was undetectable within six weeks. my pregnancy was without any complications and was able to work fulltime till the end. I had a scheduled csection and got iv azt during the surgery on top of taking my regular dose of med the morning of the surgery. My baby got azt for six weeks and so far has been negative and healthy. my baby will be getting more labs next month. my baby is three months old.
My ob did not know much of hiv but i took the time to educate myself and read alot on the topic and told him when i felt he was not doing what he should have been - we worked as a team. For example they had forgoten to order my iv med that i as supposed to get during my csection and they had to postpone the surgery for a few hours to get the meds from another neighboring hosp. Also ensuring your baby gets the azt immediately after birth is important. Also have a pediatrician who is knowledgeable about hiv see your baby from the start.
« Last Edit: December 26, 2006, 02:07:19 AM by chilli »

Offline blondbeauty

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Re: HIV and frightened to have kids.
« Reply #17 on: December 27, 2006, 11:44:17 AM »
With todays treatments the chances of contracting HIV (for the HIV- partner) even with natural conception is lower than 1%. Pregnant HIV+ women can have non infected children with the correct treatment and follow up and always avoiding breast feeding.
You shouldn´t be scared of having a baby but you need a good HIV Dr.
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
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Counts when starting treatment:
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Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
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